Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[jamerican 2]

owwww lawd!!! I am going to be in the airport wanting to check the board cause I know the sh#t gonna hit the fan on this tomorrow!!!

here is my 2 cents on this issue.....

(playing devils advocate) I do understand that those of us, who are not as comfortable with patois, might feel a bit frustrated when it is used heavily.... as we might feel as though we are missing out in good conversation or stories.

BUT......

Because we are on this thread we are here to seek advise and support in journeys we have chosen to take being in relationships with Jamaicans. That being said.... I enjoy the opportunity to LEARN what I can that will make my future husband and the culture that I have fallen in love with more comfortable for him and myself. YES...it is frustrating BUT I can only amagine how frustrating it is for HIM when we as americans talk fast and in american slang. I do appreciate the chance to learn patois...unfortunatly at this point in my education I ongly pick hup habout 70% but ere is oping dat wit time, I will get betta....(so simple just play with the H! )

Well...the next time I will be chatting I will be doing so from the beaches of NEGRIL......Have a wonderful weekend and I will check in with yall.....lata....

[Marlita 0]

Jawi, yu too bad! Some of the derogatory comments on here about Jamaica and Jamaicans have gotten to me as well. If you know people who are like that, please keep it to them, but some of the generalizations have been too much, especially considering that they have fallen in love with and married Jamaicans. I am proud of my country, despite its issues, but as the colours of our flag represent: Hardships there are (black), but the land is green and the sun shines; we will continue to prosper despite all that ah gwaan.

Unnu nuh haffi like wi, but unnu ah go respec wi still! Gwaan tru Jawi

How do you fight against your own family? How do you generalize and stereotype your man's family? He is magically different from his family where he born and grow. He grew up among a bunch of money hungry begging good for nothing leeches that should be drowned in the flood waters while holding their cell phones. But, he now he is DIFFERENT!

oonu tink oonu give dem nuff pages fe read inna de YAARDIE thread? or dem ago skip ie cuz ie tuh hard fe read? waaaaaaaaaaiiieee...whaa a ting!

Lawd Jawi, too much patois, mi head ah hot mi...but mi hubby tell me a good remedy fi di headache...nuff rooks. I think I could do with a little more headaches from the patwah...let the rooksin commence Like we need an excuse....I am hoping to get some of the VJ water, haffi get a likkle bway inna di mix.

Ah Lawd!!!!! Wahhhh!!! You hav mi dyin' ova yehso!!! I mentioned this word to hubby and im no heard of it before, but when I put it into context he said that word was perfect for it!! So im started usin it in all kinds of sentences that had nothing to do with "rooksin" Ha ha!!

Lawd mi cyan tek no mare! I can't even finish watching my TV shows laughin at all yall. Its like yall been holdin in all the patwah fi so lang its just ovaflowin'.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Jawi, yu too bad! Some of the derogatory comments on here about Jamaica and Jamaicans have gotten to me as well. If you know people who are like that, please keep it to them, but some of the generalizations have been too much, especially considering that they have fallen in love with and married Jamaicans. I am proud of my country, despite its issues, but as the colours of our flag represent: Hardships there are (black), but the land is green and the sun shines; we will continue to prosper despite all that ah gwaan.

Unnu nuh haffi like wi, but unnu ah go respec wi still! Gwaan tru Jawi

How do you fight against your own family? How do you generalize and stereotype your man's family? He is magically different from his family where he born and grow. He grew up among a bunch of money hungry begging good for nothing leeches that should be drowned in the flood waters while holding their cell phones. But, he now he is DIFFERENT!

oonu tink oonu give dem nuff pages fe read inna de YAARDIE thread? or dem ago skip ie cuz ie tuh hard fe read? waaaaaaaaaaiiieee...whaa a ting!

Lawd Jawi, too much patois, mi head ah hot mi...but mi hubby tell me a good remedy fi di headache...nuff rooks. I think I could do with a little more headaches from the patwah...let the rooksin commence Like we need an excuse....I am hoping to get some of the VJ water, haffi get a likkle bway inna di mix.

Ah Lawd!!!!! Wahhhh!!! You hav mi dyin' ova yehso!!! I mentioned this word to hubby and im no heard of it before, but when I put it into context he said that word was perfect for it!! So im started usin it in all kinds of sentences that had nothing to do with "rooksin" Ha ha!!

Lawd mi cyan tek no mare! I can't even finish watching my TV shows laughin at all yall. Its like yall been holdin in all the patwah fi so lang its just ovaflowin'.

ahhaaa..Mar it's more like yahso...say it dat way and see wah him seh

walk good

Kimmy

owwww lawd!!! I am going to be in the airport wanting to check the board cause I know the sh#t gonna hit the fan on this tomorrow!!!

here is my 2 cents on this issue.....

(playing devils advocate) I do understand that those of us, who are not as comfortable with patois, might feel a bit frustrated when it is used heavily.... as we might feel as though we are missing out in good conversation or stories.

BUT......

Because we are on this thread we are here to seek advise and support in journeys we have chosen to take being in relationships with Jamaicans. That being said.... I enjoy the opportunity to LEARN what I can that will make my future husband and the culture that I have fallen in love with more comfortable for him and myself. YES...it is frustrating BUT I can only amagine how frustrating it is for HIM when we as americans talk fast and in american slang. I do appreciate the chance to learn patois...unfortunatly at this point in my education I ongly pick hup habout 70% but ere is oping dat wit time, I will get betta....(so simple just play with the H! )

Well...the next time I will be chatting I will be doing so from the beaches of NEGRIL......Have a wonderful weekend and I will check in with yall.....lata....

Girl enjoy ur trip and a margarita fi mi too zeen...mek sure u read cause hell a buss loose....

[Jengles 0]

Umm, not sure what happened here. A few "rude statements" were made. then everyone appoligized and then words started being thrown at "Jomo's girl" or mainly at her??? and then other people who wanted to say something about "Jomo's girl" posts in the past, felt it was fine to jump on the bandwagon. Did Jomo's girl say not to talk patios in the thread? I don't see that post, maybe I didn't go back far enough to read where she made that comment. Oh and of course can't forget bad gyal nuh back down from nuttin.

carry on ladies

[*JG* 2]

Howdy! I'm still around!

To the Kellys : Did you get my voicemail message and new number?

Shauna: Tough choice but kudos for looking out for yourself and baby!

What's up with the hostility? Can't we all just get along?

I did, Sarah. Sorry I didn't answer. I was talking to Andre at lunch and didn't recognize the number. Next time, I'll know.

One of these days when you have some time, call me. I'm dying to hear how well things are going. Weekday nights are best for me. Anytime after 5.

Howdy! I'm still around!

To the Kellys : Did you get my voicemail message and new number?

Shauna: Tough choice but kudos for looking out for yourself and baby!

What's up with the hostility? Can't we all just get along?

Jomo and I handled the situation quickly and as civily as it could be. I apologized, she accepted. Did you miss all of that exchange? It was a misunderstanding, and we are good. There are no hard feelings, at least not on my part. We will not always agree or get along...that's real...that's real people and life. I'm not sure if Jomo will come and post that things are cool with us. I'm good.

I'm good as well.

Question: Do any of you buy saltfish in your area? I found saltfish online for 3.99/lb boneless and skinless Problem is the shipping is MORE than the fish itself! We can't find any in our area...if you have it in your area...what is the cost? Is 3.99 a good deal and should I just suck it up on the shipping?

We have a couple of international grocery stores here. I find it there. Only they don't call it saltfish. It's called salted cod. And, I find it in the Chinese section of the store. I forget right now how much it is.

[jawi876 2]

Umm, not sure what happened here. A few "rude statements" were made. then everyone appoligized and then words started being thrown at "Jomo's girl" or mainly at her??? and then other people who wanted to say something about "Jomo's girl" posts in the past, felt it was fine to jump on the bandwagon. Did Jomo's girl say not to talk patios in the thread? I don't see that post, maybe I didn't go back far enough to read where she made that comment. Oh and of course can't forget bad gyal nuh back down from nuttin.

carry on ladies

I didn't throw words at Jomo. I explained to 12/11/2006 why my original tasteless comment was made. I was angry behind a little history of Jomo making snide remarks and then apologizing if she sounded rude. Yesterday, I wasn't in the mood to shrug it off or be the bigger person. Everything else I posted was not directly exclusively at her. It was directed at anyone in a relationship with a Jamaican that hate everything that essentially made the Jamaican the person they are (culture, family, etc).

The concern about not typing in patwah has been a little bit of a sore subject for a while I suppose. I attempted to post in English in this thread because it was requested. Then, I started my OWN thread and I can post patwah there until the cows come home. The few Jamaican people on this board enjoy a chance to unwind and type the suss in patois. I understand if you have a preference not to read posts heavy in patois, but you do not have to be rude about it as if your opinion and comfort is all that matters.

I am a very agreeable person, I don't purposely look to start anything with anybody. However, I will not allow another person on her to punk me because they think they can get away with it. I cannot speak for anyone else, but I don't mince words, and I will stand toe-to-toe if need be.

[nannygirl82 0]

Umm, not sure what happened here. A few "rude statements" were made. then everyone appoligized and then words started being thrown at "Jomo's girl" or mainly at her??? and then other people who wanted to say something about "Jomo's girl" posts in the past, felt it was fine to jump on the bandwagon. Did Jomo's girl say not to talk patios in the thread? I don't see that post, maybe I didn't go back far enough to read where she made that comment. Oh and of course can't forget bad gyal nuh back down from nuttin.

carry on ladies

yes she said it a couple of months ago to tone it down a little bit....which i agree with cause it hurts my head as well....and yes i have been reading the book as well and posting comments.....but it still is a little hard to understand......

[*JG* 2]

Not everyone. Written Patois gives me a headache. Can't bother with it.

I know thats right. I was too far behind to catch up so I left it alone.

I respect that as well. I truly do. (What I am about to say is not directed at you Shonnie, but I'm going to say my peace.)

However, being rude is not necessary. I responded the way I did because the rudeness upset me. It upset some other people here too. If you look at this thread, I didn't come here ONE time and ask ANYBODY to come and read it either.The success of my post doesn't require everyone to approve or like it. Jomo tries to be cute, and then keeps telling me that she was not trying to come off rude and if I took her comments that way she is sorry. I have never taken her comments any way until she kept telling me not to.

I started the post saying it was a purely fictional story and my first attempt at writing a story. She comes in shortly after talking about it was believable until I got to the nice customs agent. There was no patois in the story at that point. I shrugged the comment off, although I got several PMs about why she was being rude. Again, she and everyone else is entitled to their opinion. Mi nuh beg nuh friend.

There are enough people reading and posting in the thread that are not with JAMAICANS, and they are even mouthing the words to follow the story. If you don't like it, no problem. Feel free to stay away like you have thus far. The post will die a slow death and fizzle out in due time anyway.

What I don't get is some of the women claiming to be in love with their Jamaican husbands, but they hate his family, his friends, his mother, his country and everything that made him the man he is now. I have remained quiet about it...but some of oonu oomen nuh knoa yuhself! Yuh need fe tek wey yuhself and nuh place all de blame pon im when de marriage nuh work.

Jomo nuh de ONGLY RUDE GYAL PON DIS BC WEBSITE! Mi nuh stawt war...but mi nuh run frum ie eidda. De best ting fe mi fe do ie tuh low dis before mi sey someting fe ban mi.

I think I will start a PATOIS ONLY thread too. Feel free to stay out of that one too...yuhseemi?

Well, since Jawi wants to share so much with you all today, I'm in......

Perhaps those of you who view my comments as negative would be happier if he wasn't such a nice guy and we didn't have such a great relationship. I showed my husband what you said and he sucked teeth. He said some women are not happy and view a man like that if he isn't a playa, beating his wife, lying to her, and running around on her. I've had others saying that to me too. So, maybe they are right. I guess he can't be a real man until I am cowering in the corner as he runs out the door to find a baby mama.

He is a "man" in our relationship, just not "THE" Man. Such an antiquated sentiment. Neither of us controls the other nor the relationship and it works. If someone needs one or the other to control the relationship, then so be it. It's just not for us. We butt heads sometimes and we talk it through. Sometimes one of us wins, mostly we compromise.

If you knew his story, his family, and his friends, or seen what I have seen in his Jamaica, perhaps you would say the same things. I play off of what he thinks and feels and what I have personally experienced. Those who say they will support his family and friends know nothing about what they in for. Most of those people who say things don't even have their men here or he just got here and they are all in that honeymoon phase, so they have no clue how it is all going to play out. It's easy to say things when you haven't experienced them yet. As far as Jamaica goes, I love Jamaica. I think it is beautiful and I have fond memories of all over Jamaica. I miss many people there. I have been there 16 times, staying almost always in his yard or with other friends and family in their yard. It's not like I haven't seen things. I've seen beauty and peace and wonderfully fun times. I've also seen violence against men, against women, against defenseless children. I've see racism, sexism, and needless discrimination of Jamicans to other Jamaicans. I've seen sadness and I've seen poverty. I've seen people use other people out of desperation and I've seen it just for sport. I'm sorry if I don't see Jamaica as a paradise. I've seen too much to think that anymore.

It's really just a case of not being able to have an opinion that differs from others on here again. It's an old scratched record that just keeps playing over and over again. Anything even slightly negative and you get bashed all to hell. The thing is, I don't live in some fantasy world where someone else takes care of everything and I just follow along nor where everything is so perfect. I'm a strong proud woman who has opinions. I'll be damned if I will apologize for that. I'll fight for what I believe in till the day I die.

I'm not the only person who feels this way either. Others who believe along these same lines have stopped expressing opinions cause all they do is get bashed. It's a ridiculous concept that deluded people who live in this fantasy world of love, peace, and harmony at ALL times run away anyone else who has an opinion. I hope that when their worlds fall apart, they can find those others to reach out to in the same situation. I have a wonderful support group of friends who KNOW what happens in these LDR's sometimes.....knows ALL of what can happen, not just the lovey dovey stuff....who have experienced some or all of what I am going through, and who give thought provoking insight and advice.

[Marlita 0]

owwww lawd!!! I am going to be in the airport wanting to check the board cause I know the sh#t gonna hit the fan on this tomorrow!!!

here is my 2 cents on this issue.....

(playing devils advocate) I do understand that those of us, who are not as comfortable with patois, might feel a bit frustrated when it is used heavily.... as we might feel as though we are missing out in good conversation or stories.

BUT......

Because we are on this thread we are here to seek advise and support in journeys we have chosen to take being in relationships with Jamaicans. That being said.... I enjoy the opportunity to LEARN what I can that will make my future husband and the culture that I have fallen in love with more comfortable for him and myself. YES...it is frustrating BUT I can only amagine how frustrating it is for HIM when we as americans talk fast and in american slang. I do appreciate the chance to learn patois...unfortunatly at this point in my education I ongly pick hup habout 70% but ere is oping dat wit time, I will get betta....(so simple just play with the H! )

Well...the next time I will be chatting I will be doing so from the beaches of NEGRIL......Have a wonderful weekend and I will check in with yall.....lata....

This is so true. (I got a blog I need to write about it cause I have a funny story on that). But it is very hard for many Jamaicans to understand me when I talk fast or use American slang words. Heck I have this problem with my husband. He has also told me how he likes that I take the time to learn and chat patois more cause he knows it takes alot of effort....but so does learning any language when you are an adult. Try learning Spanish its the same frustration. I jest feel like many people dismiss patois like its not a valid language. Many people in Jamaica don't speak "proper English" and patois just comes naturally and is learned first anyway, so who am I to tell em not to speak it or write it in an informal setting?

[*JG* 2]

What I don't get is some of the women claiming to be in love with their Jamaican husbands, but they hate his family, his friends, his mother, his country and everything that made him the man he is now. I have remained quiet about it...but some of oonu oomen nuh knoa yuhself! Yuh need fe tek wey yuhself and nuh place all de blame pon im when de marriage nuh work.

Nahsayers have been saying some tired version of this for almost 4 years now. 'Nuff said.

[Jengles 0]

Umm, not sure what happened here. A few "rude statements" were made. then everyone appoligized and then words started being thrown at "Jomo's girl" or mainly at her??? and then other people who wanted to say something about "Jomo's girl" posts in the past, felt it was fine to jump on the bandwagon. Did Jomo's girl say not to talk patios in the thread? I don't see that post, maybe I didn't go back far enough to read where she made that comment. Oh and of course can't forget bad gyal nuh back down from nuttin.

carry on ladies

I didn't throw words at Jomo. I explained to 12/11/2006 why my original tasteless comment was made. I was angry behind a little history of Jomo making snide remarks and then apologizing if she sounded rude. Yesterday, I wasn't in the mood to shrug it off or be the bigger person. Everything else I posted was not directly exclusively at her. It was directed at anyone in a relationship with a Jamaican that hate everything that essentially made the Jamaican the person they are (culture, family, etc).

The concern about not typing in patwah has been a little bit of a sore subject for a while I suppose. I attempted to post in English in this thread because it was requested. Then, I started my OWN thread and I can post patwah there until the cows come home. The few Jamaican people on this board enjoy a chance to unwind and type the suss in patois. I understand if you have a preference not to read posts heavy in patois, but you do not have to be rude about it as if your opinion and comfort is all that matters.

I am a very agreeable person, I don't purposely look to start anything with anybody. However, I will not allow another person on her to punk me because they think they can get away with it. I cannot speak for anyone else, but I don't mince words, and I will stand toe-to-toe if need be.

Understand what you are saying, Jomo's girl is the main person who posts complaints about in-laws/friends so to me it looked like words were being thrown.

standing toe to toe over words posted on the internet to me seems a bit excessive, but I hear you

[Marlita 0]

Not everyone. Written Patois gives me a headache. Can't bother with it.

I know thats right. I was too far behind to catch up so I left it alone.

I respect that as well. I truly do. (What I am about to say is not directed at you Shonnie, but I'm going to say my peace.)

However, being rude is not necessary. I responded the way I did because the rudeness upset me. It upset some other people here too. If you look at this thread, I didn't come here ONE time and ask ANYBODY to come and read it either.The success of my post doesn't require everyone to approve or like it. Jomo tries to be cute, and then keeps telling me that she was not trying to come off rude and if I took her comments that way she is sorry. I have never taken her comments any way until she kept telling me not to.

I started the post saying it was a purely fictional story and my first attempt at writing a story. She comes in shortly after talking about it was believable until I got to the nice customs agent. There was no patois in the story at that point. I shrugged the comment off, although I got several PMs about why she was being rude. Again, she and everyone else is entitled to their opinion. Mi nuh beg nuh friend.

There are enough people reading and posting in the thread that are not with JAMAICANS, and they are even mouthing the words to follow the story. If you don't like it, no problem. Feel free to stay away like you have thus far. The post will die a slow death and fizzle out in due time anyway.

What I don't get is some of the women claiming to be in love with their Jamaican husbands, but they hate his family, his friends, his mother, his country and everything that made him the man he is now. I have remained quiet about it...but some of oonu oomen nuh knoa yuhself! Yuh need fe tek wey yuhself and nuh place all de blame pon im when de marriage nuh work.

Jomo nuh de ONGLY RUDE GYAL PON DIS BC WEBSITE! Mi nuh stawt war...but mi nuh run frum ie eidda. De best ting fe mi fe do ie tuh low dis before mi sey someting fe ban mi.

I think I will start a PATOIS ONLY thread too. Feel free to stay out of that one too...yuhseemi?

Well, since Jawi wants to share so much with you all today, I'm in......

Perhaps those of you who view my comments as negative would be happier if he wasn't such a nice guy and we didn't have such a great relationship. I showed my husband what you said and he sucked teeth. He said some women are not happy and view a man like that if he isn't a playa, beating his wife, lying to her, and running around on her. I've had others saying that to me too. So, maybe they are right. I guess he can't be a real man until I am cowering in the corner as he runs out the door to find a baby mama.

He is a "man" in our relationship, just not "THE" Man. Such an antiquated sentiment. Neither of us controls the other nor the relationship and it works. If someone needs one or the other to control the relationship, then so be it. It's just not for us. We butt heads sometimes and we talk it through. Sometimes one of us wins, mostly we compromise.

If you knew his story, his family, and his friends, or seen what I have seen in his Jamaica, perhaps you would say the same things. I play off of what he thinks and feels and what I have personally experienced. Those who say they will support his family and friends know nothing about what they in for. Most of those people who say things don't even have their men here or he just got here and they are all in that honeymoon phase, so they have no clue how it is all going to play out. It's easy to say things when you haven't experienced them yet. As far as Jamaica goes, I love Jamaica. I think it is beautiful and I have fond memories of all over Jamaica. I miss many people there. I have been there 16 times, staying almost always in his yard or with other friends and family in their yard. It's not like I haven't seen things. I've seen beauty and peace and wonderfully fun times. I've also seen violence against men, against women, against defenseless children. I've see racism, sexism, and needless discrimination of Jamicans to other Jamaicans. I've seen sadness and I've seen poverty. I've seen people use other people out of desperation and I've seen it just for sport. I'm sorry if I don't see Jamaica as a paradise. I've seen too much to think that anymore.

It's really just a case of not being able to have an opinion that differs from others on here again. It's an old scratched record that just keeps playing over and over again. Anything even slightly negative and you get bashed all to hell. The thing is, I don't live in some fantasy world where someone else takes care of everything and I just follow along nor where everything is so perfect. I'm a strong proud woman who has opinions. I'll be damned if I will apologize for that. I'll fight for what I believe in till the day I die.

I'm not the only person who feels this way either. Others who believe along these same lines have stopped expressing opinions cause all they do is get bashed. It's a ridiculous concept that deluded people who live in this fantasy world of love, peace, and harmony at ALL times run away anyone else who has an opinion. I hope that when their worlds fall apart, they can find those others to reach out to in the same situation. I have a wonderful support group of friends who KNOW what happens in these LDR's sometimes.....knows ALL of what can happen, not just the lovey dovey stuff....who have experienced some or all of what I am going through, and who give thought provoking insight and advice.

Jomo, I gotta say, I think your post sounds like you missed the point COMPLETELY! No one knows about your husband and mentioned him not being a man. Everyone knows how crazy Jamaica can be. And whether or not our husbands are here or not means absolutely nothing to the matter in which we handle our relationships. The main issue is entirely different. I care not to re-explain....but you may want to re read and stew on it all a bit.

What I don't get is some of the women claiming to be in love with their Jamaican husbands, but they hate his family, his friends, his mother, his country and everything that made him the man he is now. I have remained quiet about it...but some of oonu oomen nuh knoa yuhself! Yuh need fe tek wey yuhself and nuh place all de blame pon im when de marriage nuh work.

Nahsayers have been saying some tired version of this for almost 4 years now. 'Nuff said.

Maybe cause its true! A new wave of "newbies" don't come into the yardie thread and see the same ####### for no reason.

[Jengles 0]

Umm, not sure what happened here. A few "rude statements" were made. then everyone appoligized and then words started being thrown at "Jomo's girl" or mainly at her??? and then other people who wanted to say something about "Jomo's girl" posts in the past, felt it was fine to jump on the bandwagon. Did Jomo's girl say not to talk patios in the thread? I don't see that post, maybe I didn't go back far enough to read where she made that comment. Oh and of course can't forget bad gyal nuh back down from nuttin.

carry on ladies

yes she said it a couple of months ago to tone it down a little bit....which i agree with cause it hurts my head as well....and yes i have been reading the book as well and posting comments.....but it still is a little hard to understand......

didn't realize the comment was made

[*JG* 2]

Umm, not sure what happened here. A few "rude statements" were made. then everyone appoligized and then words started being thrown at "Jomo's girl" or mainly at her??? and then other people who wanted to say something about "Jomo's girl" posts in the past, felt it was fine to jump on the bandwagon. Did Jomo's girl say not to talk patios in the thread? I don't see that post, maybe I didn't go back far enough to read where she made that comment. Oh and of course can't forget bad gyal nuh back down from nuttin.

carry on ladies

It's okay, Jengles. But, thanks for the sentiment.

All I said was READING Patois gives me a headache. Anyone who inferred that I said DON'T talk Patois on any of these threads did that all on their own. And, those of you who implied I don't know my man's culture or where he comes from or even that there is some agreement that we dont' speak Patois in our home, also did that all on your own. Sweeping generalizations over and over again.

[*JG* 2]

Not everyone. Written Patois gives me a headache. Can't bother with it.

I know thats right. I was too far behind to catch up so I left it alone.

I respect that as well. I truly do. (What I am about to say is not directed at you Shonnie, but I'm going to say my peace.)

However, being rude is not necessary. I responded the way I did because the rudeness upset me. It upset some other people here too. If you look at this thread, I didn't come here ONE time and ask ANYBODY to come and read it either.The success of my post doesn't require everyone to approve or like it. Jomo tries to be cute, and then keeps telling me that she was not trying to come off rude and if I took her comments that way she is sorry. I have never taken her comments any way until she kept telling me not to.

I started the post saying it was a purely fictional story and my first attempt at writing a story. She comes in shortly after talking about it was believable until I got to the nice customs agent. There was no patois in the story at that point. I shrugged the comment off, although I got several PMs about why she was being rude. Again, she and everyone else is entitled to their opinion. Mi nuh beg nuh friend.

There are enough people reading and posting in the thread that are not with JAMAICANS, and they are even mouthing the words to follow the story. If you don't like it, no problem. Feel free to stay away like you have thus far. The post will die a slow death and fizzle out in due time anyway.

What I don't get is some of the women claiming to be in love with their Jamaican husbands, but they hate his family, his friends, his mother, his country and everything that made him the man he is now. I have remained quiet about it...but some of oonu oomen nuh knoa yuhself! Yuh need fe tek wey yuhself and nuh place all de blame pon im when de marriage nuh work.

Jomo nuh de ONGLY RUDE GYAL PON DIS BC WEBSITE! Mi nuh stawt war...but mi nuh run frum ie eidda. De best ting fe mi fe do ie tuh low dis before mi sey someting fe ban mi.

I think I will start a PATOIS ONLY thread too. Feel free to stay out of that one too...yuhseemi?

Well, since Jawi wants to share so much with you all today, I'm in......

Perhaps those of you who view my comments as negative would be happier if he wasn't such a nice guy and we didn't have such a great relationship. I showed my husband what you said and he sucked teeth. He said some women are not happy and view a man like that if he isn't a playa, beating his wife, lying to her, and running around on her. I've had others saying that to me too. So, maybe they are right. I guess he can't be a real man until I am cowering in the corner as he runs out the door to find a baby mama.

He is a "man" in our relationship, just not "THE" Man. Such an antiquated sentiment. Neither of us controls the other nor the relationship and it works. If someone needs one or the other to control the relationship, then so be it. It's just not for us. We butt heads sometimes and we talk it through. Sometimes one of us wins, mostly we compromise.

If you knew his story, his family, and his friends, or seen what I have seen in his Jamaica, perhaps you would say the same things. I play off of what he thinks and feels and what I have personally experienced. Those who say they will support his family and friends know nothing about what they in for. Most of those people who say things don't even have their men here or he just got here and they are all in that honeymoon phase, so they have no clue how it is all going to play out. It's easy to say things when you haven't experienced them yet. As far as Jamaica goes, I love Jamaica. I think it is beautiful and I have fond memories of all over Jamaica. I miss many people there. I have been there 16 times, staying almost always in his yard or with other friends and family in their yard. It's not like I haven't seen things. I've seen beauty and peace and wonderfully fun times. I've also seen violence against men, against women, against defenseless children. I've see racism, sexism, and needless discrimination of Jamicans to other Jamaicans. I've seen sadness and I've seen poverty. I've seen people use other people out of desperation and I've seen it just for sport. I'm sorry if I don't see Jamaica as a paradise. I've seen too much to think that anymore.

It's really just a case of not being able to have an opinion that differs from others on here again. It's an old scratched record that just keeps playing over and over again. Anything even slightly negative and you get bashed all to hell. The thing is, I don't live in some fantasy world where someone else takes care of everything and I just follow along nor where everything is so perfect. I'm a strong proud woman who has opinions. I'll be damned if I will apologize for that. I'll fight for what I believe in till the day I die.

I'm not the only person who feels this way either. Others who believe along these same lines have stopped expressing opinions cause all they do is get bashed. It's a ridiculous concept that deluded people who live in this fantasy world of love, peace, and harmony at ALL times run away anyone else who has an opinion. I hope that when their worlds fall apart, they can find those others to reach out to in the same situation. I have a wonderful support group of friends who KNOW what happens in these LDR's sometimes.....knows ALL of what can happen, not just the lovey dovey stuff....who have experienced some or all of what I am going through, and who give thought provoking insight and advice.

Jomo, I gotta say, I think your post sounds like you missed the point COMPLETELY! No one knows about your husband and mentioned him not being a man. Everyone knows how crazy Jamaica can be. And whether or not our husbands are here or not means absolutely nothing to the matter in which we handle our relationships. The main issue is entirely different. I care not to re-explain....but you may want to re read and stew on it all a bit.

What I don't get is some of the women claiming to be in love with their Jamaican husbands, but they hate his family, his friends, his mother, his country and everything that made him the man he is now. I have remained quiet about it...but some of oonu oomen nuh knoa yuhself! Yuh need fe tek wey yuhself and nuh place all de blame pon im when de marriage nuh work.

Nahsayers have been saying some tired version of this for almost 4 years now. 'Nuff said.

Maybe cause its true! A new wave of "newbies" don't come into the yardie thread and see the same ####### for no reason.

Marlita not everything I am commenting on in this post was originally posted in public. Believe me when I say, I am not missing the point. And, I STEWED over it enough last night.

Edited November 8, 2007 by Jomo's girl