Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[Yaads 0]

JaEnglish~ Could that boy get any cuter?!? I am always checking your siggy for a new pic

Edited October 26, 2007 by Yardiewife

[jamerican 2]

Jamie and others. From experience, we moved from Massachusettes to the Raleigh/Durham area and we are very glad we did. Yeah, you don't make as much money as up north, but we were able to buy a home in a nice neighborhood, the weather is great and we haven't had any difficulties with racial tension. Some of the people I work with will say things sometimes, not about me, but about blacks. I just ignore it. I'm not here to fight their battles. I just go about my business. I have my life. My husband is safe, I am safe, we go places, out and everyhting and we are safe. Life is good. Send me a message if you want to know more. We've been here for 8 months now and the area is booming. Lots of growth in development, job growth, everything. We are the opposite of the rest of the country.

???#######????

"Some of the people I work with will say things sometimes, not about me, but about blacks. I just ignore it. I'm not here to fight their battles. I just go about my business."

Please before I start in....clarify this for me.

[Marlita 0]

Does anyone know of or have any experience living in Nashville, TN? Just wondering if the stereotypes of "The South" are true...and what the racial atmosphere is like. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

"Stereotypes" ??

[Shemmy 4]

Hi everyone. I guess I made it through. I'm still very groggy, and still experiencing some pain.

I was so saddened by what happened to Nicky and Lily, and the resulting "discussions" here. Both women are hurting and coping with their "life changing" ordeal in their own way. Each person goes through the grieving process at their own speed and in no particular order. It doesn't make one person right or wrong. Nor does it make Lily smarter or Nicky crazy. Nicky is probably in between the stages of bargaining and denial. Lilly is closer to anger and acceptance. Each of them will probably make several trips through the grieving process before they truly move on, this is human and totally normal. I pray God's favor and mercy on you both during this transition.

If any advice needs to be given, it should be that there is no way to know a man well enough to marry or plan a future together in a month or two months. Even a year or two may not be enough time. If the relationship is all rays of sunlight and welcoming arms from his entire family and all his friends, I would be wary. There is no WAY possible two people with different cultural views, upbringing, etc will know each other well enough to make a decision of forever. Both people are putting their best foot forward in the early stages, and this is much easier to accomplish in LDRs. Phone calls very rarely touch on the bad things because the time is so precious and short. I have heard people saying that you should stay at his home, meet his mom and get to see him in his natural enviroment. I agree that those are important, but by no means do that mean he is being forthright in his interactions with you. You need to see how he handles traumatic events. How he reacts in anger and sorrow. You need to see how he manages whatever money he has. You should listen to his views on politics, on America on the world in general. In other words get to know him as a person, not the man you love.

I personally run a mile from a man in Jamaica pursuing me, he can be Beenie Man himself and I would loose all interest. I do NOT want to meet your mother three days after I meet you. I do not want to hear that you love me at the end of my week long vacation, and I just met you on that trip. I don't believe that he was alone and waiting for his soul mate until he met me. Why are you alone? Why are you not currently in a relationship? What did you notice in me that made me the one? I asked a man that was in heavy pursuit of me what made me special. He answered about my looks, that my vibes were nice, that I smelled sweet like a rose. When I told him thank you, but go deeper than the superficial aspects of me, he was at a lost for words. I asked him how he would feel if I told him that I had AIDS after I let him have sex with me. I asked him how he would feel if I told him that I stabbed my last boyfriend, or I like to pick pocket people. He was speechless. I said now tell me again what makes me so appealing? He chuckled uneasily and told me that I was deep. Trust me, you can be the most beautiful woman on the face of this Earth, but in those early stages you are only special because of the opportunity you represent. It doesn't have to be an opportunity of a greencard or financial gain. But, we all represent an opportunity in the beginning stages of any relationship even outside of an LDR.

I approached A after watching his interactions with people in Jamaica, and mainly tourists in Jamaica. A stayed to himself ALL the time, and he was aloof an totally disinterested in tourist women. Jonesie and I thought he was rude and mean at first. But, realized that he had the mentality of a Jamaican woman...he didn't beg a friend. In other words, he didn't pursue friendships loosely. He still does not have an interest in being friends with everyone. He is very particular about who he calls a friend. He did not know that I had interest in him at all until about a year in a half of us talking occasionally. When I started conversing with him, it was on a purely platonic level (at least he thought so ). It gave us time to get to know the other without the complications of lust and sex. We could be frank and honest with each other because we weren't auditioning for the leading role in the other's life. A and I are having difficulties right now because he is a loner, he is grieving for his daughter's heart condition, and trying to solve it on his own. He is still not comfortable leaning on someone else, including me, and he is pushing me away. I'm sure it's not on purpose, but it hurts nonetheless. He doesn't want me to take on his burdens, he is a man, and he has to take of this as a man (his words).

One "opportunist" I talked to on a regular basis told me that he will take women to his home and he introduces the woman he rents a room from as his mother or aunt depending on the situation. He told me that he regularly tells the women that he has no desire to come to the States, that he loves Jamaica. He also said that he knows that women are afraid of being used, so he doesn't ask for money or gifts. He said if he can talk enough good game, the gifts and money usually come with little to no persuasion on his part. Trust me, most of the things we consider as red flags, they know that we consider them red flags, and they know how to circumvent them.

Be careful ladies. Love with your entire heart, but keep your eyes and ears open and your mind sharp. Don't be afraid to stop the process just because you have invested time and money. Don't be afraid to make him explain himself until you are satisfied with his answers. Don't be afraid to trust and love. Time will reveal all things. Trust me time is definitely your friend in these relationships.

I will continue my fictional story soon to all my waiting "fans". LOVE YOU ALL!

Jawi girl, you are "deep" You are a true writer. Please, Please pursue this thing. You have me siting here with tears coming out of my eyes. I had all those questions and heard all those words, but love won out and I have not regrets.

Love you too, tons.

I agree I read it three times. Hope you feel better soon Jawi876.

[Yaads 0]

Does anyone know of or have any experience living in Nashville, TN? Just wondering if the stereotypes of "The South" are true...and what the racial atmosphere is like. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

"Stereotypes" ??

Yeah the sterotypes of people that live in the south...I am sure you have heard of them. The racial problems and stereotypes of how one race treats the other...the whole redneck/hick/country loving stereotype. Get what I mean?

[Marlita 0]

Hi everyone. I guess I made it through. I'm still very groggy, and still experiencing some pain.

I was so saddened by what happened to Nicky and Lily, and the resulting "discussions" here. Both women are hurting and coping with their "life changing" ordeal in their own way. Each person goes through the grieving process at their own speed and in no particular order. It doesn't make one person right or wrong. Nor does it make Lily smarter or Nicky crazy. Nicky is probably in between the stages of bargaining and denial. Lilly is closer to anger and acceptance. Each of them will probably make several trips through the grieving process before they truly move on, this is human and totally normal. I pray God's favor and mercy on you both during this transition.

If any advice needs to be given, it should be that there is no way to know a man well enough to marry or plan a future together in a month or two months. Even a year or two may not be enough time. If the relationship is all rays of sunlight and welcoming arms from his entire family and all his friends, I would be wary. There is no WAY possible two people with different cultural views, upbringing, etc will know each other well enough to make a decision of forever. Both people are putting their best foot forward in the early stages, and this is much easier to accomplish in LDRs. Phone calls very rarely touch on the bad things because the time is so precious and short. I have heard people saying that you should stay at his home, meet his mom and get to see him in his natural enviroment. I agree that those are important, but by no means do that mean he is being forthright in his interactions with you. You need to see how he handles traumatic events. How he reacts in anger and sorrow. You need to see how he manages whatever money he has. You should listen to his views on politics, on America on the world in general. In other words get to know him as a person, not the man you love.

I personally run a mile from a man in Jamaica pursuing me, he can be Beenie Man himself and I would loose all interest. I do NOT want to meet your mother three days after I meet you. I do not want to hear that you love me at the end of my week long vacation, and I just met you on that trip. I don't believe that he was alone and waiting for his soul mate until he met me. Why are you alone? Why are you not currently in a relationship? What did you notice in me that made me the one? I asked a man that was in heavy pursuit of me what made me special. He answered about my looks, that my vibes were nice, that I smelled sweet like a rose. When I told him thank you, but go deeper than the superficial aspects of me, he was at a lost for words. I asked him how he would feel if I told him that I had AIDS after I let him have sex with me. I asked him how he would feel if I told him that I stabbed my last boyfriend, or I like to pick pocket people. He was speechless. I said now tell me again what makes me so appealing? He chuckled uneasily and told me that I was deep. Trust me, you can be the most beautiful woman on the face of this Earth, but in those early stages you are only special because of the opportunity you represent. It doesn't have to be an opportunity of a greencard or financial gain. But, we all represent an opportunity in the beginning stages of any relationship even outside of an LDR.

I approached A after watching his interactions with people in Jamaica, and mainly tourists in Jamaica. A stayed to himself ALL the time, and he was aloof an totally disinterested in tourist women. Jonesie and I thought he was rude and mean at first. But, realized that he had the mentality of a Jamaican woman...he didn't beg a friend. In other words, he didn't pursue friendships loosely. He still does not have an interest in being friends with everyone. He is very particular about who he calls a friend. He did not know that I had interest in him at all until about a year in a half of us talking occasionally. When I started conversing with him, it was on a purely platonic level (at least he thought so ). It gave us time to get to know the other without the complications of lust and sex. We could be frank and honest with each other because we weren't auditioning for the leading role in the other's life. A and I are having difficulties right now because he is a loner, he is grieving for his daughter's heart condition, and trying to solve it on his own. He is still not comfortable leaning on someone else, including me, and he is pushing me away. I'm sure it's not on purpose, but it hurts nonetheless. He doesn't want me to take on his burdens, he is a man, and he has to take of this as a man (his words).

One "opportunist" I talked to on a regular basis told me that he will take women to his home and he introduces the woman he rents a room from as his mother or aunt depending on the situation. He told me that he regularly tells the women that he has no desire to come to the States, that he loves Jamaica. He also said that he knows that women are afraid of being used, so he doesn't ask for money or gifts. He said if he can talk enough good game, the gifts and money usually come with little to no persuasion on his part. Trust me, most of the things we consider as red flags, they know that we consider them red flags, and they know how to circumvent them.

Be careful ladies. Love with your entire heart, but keep your eyes and ears open and your mind sharp. Don't be afraid to stop the process just because you have invested time and money. Don't be afraid to make him explain himself until you are satisfied with his answers. Don't be afraid to trust and love. Time will reveal all things. Trust me time is definitely your friend in these relationships.

I will continue my fictional story soon to all my waiting "fans". LOVE YOU ALL!

Whew! This was a very good post!!! You made lots of great points. Especially about not wanting to meet parents in 1-3days! And the asking of what makes yourself so special. I mean the game ran in Jamaica is quite ridiculous to me but thats just my view of it. I HATE men that chase me down. Thats way too much aggression for me. And yes waiting to get to know the man is always a good idea. Waiting for the sex...gotta say its a good idea. Those who know me...know that I didnt "rooks" my man until after marriage. Man what a way to weed out the riff raff.lol!! It don't matter where ya from. You tell a man your Christian and abstinent and you find out the real him right away!!

Does anyone know of or have any experience living in Nashville, TN? Just wondering if the stereotypes of "The South" are true...and what the racial atmosphere is like. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

"Stereotypes" ??

Yeah the sterotypes of people that live in the south...I am sure you have heard of them. The racial problems and stereotypes of how one race treats the other...the whole redneck/hick/country loving stereotype. Get what I mean?

Oh ok now I understand what you're saying. I think i read it wrong at first.

[jawi876 2]

Awww shucks Claire...

hope you`re feeling better!

awwww....look at auntie Jawi's likkle man! Im a rude bwoy already...mean mugging fe de pictra. LOL I will be so glad when I'm feeling better too. Thanks!

[brownnskinn 0]

Does anyone know of or have any experience living in Nashville, TN? Just wondering if the stereotypes of "The South" are true...and what the racial atmosphere is like. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Like Kelly, I only visited (also spent some time in Memphis). I liked it, and did not experience any outright racial issues, but could not see myself living there. But that's just me.

I like North Carolina, though, and would move to the Charlotte area or Raliegh if I could.

Congrats!! First me, then Jonesie, then Jax, then Nanny, and now YOU Who's next? I nominate Mindy

RHONDA -- I'm gonna come up there and kick your A#@

Bring it on!!!

I got you covered Mindy, I nominate myself - I AM NEXT! - since nothing else seems to be working. I will rub the RhondaJonesieJaxNanny mojo on my belly!

Mooma Squitto preggers too - add her to that mojo list

**Baby dust**

Lawdamercy! But she did a pop BC pills like skittles." Ah wah kina madness ah gwan??? What unuh put in a unuh wata???

Mi ask the same ting! Dem all preggers!!!

[JA Tam 7]

What a day on the board. I wouldn't worry about cory prospering even if he does get married she will be looking at him out the corner of her eye and

mr jengles has been diagnosed with diabetes and he's taking it really hard, we've had a stressful couple of weeks, with him wanting to go back to ja as not to be a burden on me. he's liking diabetes to hiv, i told him that here diabetes is managable. it didn't help that his doctor was not helpful, i asked the man what was a high reading as to cause mr jengles to go to the hospital and the doctor wanted to know "why I asked that question" can you even imagine? plus as you guys know, he wants to work he is taking the inactivity hard. He'll be working a few days next week, so he's looking forward to that.

mr jengles feels a bit better now, we spent the day in the hospital yesterday and everyone he met was a immigrant, who told him, he needed to slow down and get himself established and stop stressing so he could get his sugar under control, the phone calls from ja don't help. I finally said to him, why are they calling you, you don't have a job and they are stressing you. and they are calling in the day when i'm not home. dat mi nuh like.

Jengles, I am so sorry to hear of his diagnosis. I hope that he will recognize that he will be better able to manage it here than home in JA.

As JG mentioned Andre's sickle cell, my cousin actually had a very bad attack last week and had to be in the hospital. He was just released this morning. hopefully he will be fine for the remainder of his visit here in Florida - he's going home at the end of the month.

Sickle cell is a very sore point for me, my cousin died from complications from the sickle cell, she just gave up.

Andre's one sister died from it too. She got poor medical care in Jamaica, mostly from her own stupidity.

My aunt tries to stay on top of how he manages his sickle cell disease. She tries to make sure that he gets the type of food suggested by the doctor when he was younger. I pray that he doesn't give up and I know that she will do everything in her power to ensure that he is okay.

I am so sorry to hear of both your experiences.

[Sonshyne 2]

But -- he never apologized for any of it . . .

Currently, I'm respecting the healing process. I've stopped trying to find a logical rational reason "why" he did what he did . . . and I'm just trying to put it all in perspective.

Lilly he probably never will apologize for his actions... I am glad that you are not looking for a rational reason and that your now working on the healing process, because you will never get a rational answer as to why, as long as you(we women) continue to look for the why??? You will never fully recover from this devistation. Work on YOUR well being And remember that this too shall pass, the hurt will fade in time and your emotions will regain strength

Edited October 26, 2007 by Sonshyne

[phatmadame81 0]

**********FRIDAY CHUCKLE**********

WE MADE IT!!! Sorry, I'm late today...I'm on JA. time!

Hope everyone has a GREAT WEEKEND!!!

Bless ,

Gill

****************************************************************

Dinner Bill

There were three men living together in London, a Trinidadian a Barbadian and a Jamaican who were all starving because they didn't have money to buy food. However, upon coming close to a posh restaurant they came up with a plan.

The Trinidadian went in first. After being seated he ordered a three-course meal with white wine. When he had finished the meal the waiter came by with the cheque.

"But I paid you" the Trinidadian shouted.

The waiter was very confused as he could not remember being paid, but as he did not want to cause any trouble...he let the Trinidadian leave.

Five minutes later the Barbadian walked into the restaurant and ordered a five-course meal with red wine. When he was finished eating, the waiter came by to collect the money for food.

"But I paid you" The Barbadian shouted.

This time the manager came and had to calm down the Barbadian, and as he did not want anything to upset the other customers he let the Barbadian go.

Ten minutes later the Jamaican walked in, sat down, lit a cigarette, and ordered the most expensive meal on the menu plus two Red Stripe beers. After he had finished, the waiter came to collect the money for the meal and before asking for it, the waiter said, "Sir... I have been having a sort of problem all day and I can't understand it. Other people like you came in earlier and ate and they said that they paid me but I don't remember getting any money from them, so........

"Before he could finish, the Jamaican chimed in loudly, "Hear mi nuh boss, that ah fi yu problem dat? jus gimme mi change!"

yeah Gill.........

LMAO........

[brownnskinn 0]

Jawi girl, you are "deep" You are a true writer. Please, Please pursue this thing. You have me siting here with tears coming out of my eyes. I had all those questions and heard all those words, but love won out and I have not regrets.

Love you too, tons.

Amen to that, she has true talent!

I have heard them as well, and I too have no regrets!!!!

I would just like to add. That...and not to encourage anone to stay in a bad marriage or close thier eyes to the facts exposing a cheating man or anything like that ...BUT just speaking from my experience!To those who are experiencing troubles.... I can say that GOD can and truely take your mess and turn it into a miricle! I must say that I have had my heart ripped out and stomped on the pain was so unbearable. Obstacles are just what they are obstacles, they are meant to be overcomed! I speak from experience when I say that the pain was worth the joy you feel when you were able to overcome and realize the man above has your back. That faith can move mountains. My faith is still moving mountians. I could go on and on....but my message is to never give up hope

Edited October 26, 2007 by brownnskinn

[brownnskinn 0]

**********FRIDAY CHUCKLE**********

don't remember getting any money from them, so........

"Before he could finish, the Jamaican chimed in loudly, "Hear mi nuh boss, that ah fi yu problem dat? jus gimme mi change!"

CHUCKLING

[rhondapayter 0]

Learned that my boyfriend is also Nicky "Salmon's" current fiance'. She last saw him in March. I met him in April and have been back to see him 3 times. He and I have been planning our future together . . . and I'm thankful that I was smart enough to make him wait a year before I filed for a Visa, or I'd be in the same position Nicky is.

Oh boy. This is what happened the last time we posted pics on here! Someone needs to teach these guys a lesson

[rhondapayter 0]

In my opinion, Lilly wants to show the world what he is.

If something similar happened to me, this would be the TIP of the iceberg.

I don't blame her, apart from mentioning where Nicky lives if that's something that Nicky hasn't put out there.

Can't see why Lilly SHOULDN'T post it if it's true.

I agree completely!! Let the world see what a scumbag he is.