Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[JA Tam 7]

Whoooiiii mi belly...Never get tired of that one.

**********Wednesday Chuckle**********

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

Enjoy ,

Gill ...(Let me know if translation is needed)

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Aliens In Jamaica

There was this couple sitting on the porch in Westmoreland, Jamaica watching the sun go down. All of a sudden this shooting light went across the sunset.

Wife: "A wha dat?"

Husband: "A mus' one space ship."

Wife: "Spaceship???? You damn Eeediat!!"

A little while later the couple went back into the house. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and the husband opened it. There was an alien couple on the doorstep.

Alien Male: "Good evening, we come in peace. May we rest in your dwelling while our space ship is fixed?" The husband's eyes almost popped out of his head because the female alien had a WICKED body.

Husband: "Come een, come een. Of course you can come an' res' yuhself." So the husband and wife fed and watered their guests and showed them to their room for the night.

Male Alien: "Where we come from it is our tradition to swop partners when we have guests." Well, the husband was up to it, because the female alien was seriously turning him on with her looks.

Husband: "Well, dats alright with me."

Wife: "Oh, I don't know, because I don't really believe in dat kind of t'ing."

Husband: "Come on honey, is only a lickle bit of fun, an nobody nuh gwine know."

Wife: "Well, OK then."

The male alien takes the wife into his room, and, knowing that she wasn't 100% comfortable with the idea, he was very gentle and gave her plenty foreplay. When they got into the swing of things the male alien asked, "would you like a bit more length?"

Wife: "Likkle more length,? hee! hee!, a wha yuh mean? How you gwine do dat?"

So the alien twists his right ear, and presto!, his willy gets longer. Well the wife was having a whale of a time when the Alien asked, "would you like a bit more width?"

Wife: "Width! Well, OK then."

So the alien twists his left ear, and presto!, his willy gets fatter.

The following morning the wife wakes up with the biggest smile you can imagine on her face and walks into the living room to find her husband looking vex sitting on the sofa.

Wife: "Hello darling, did you have a good night last night?"

Husband: "Stuups ..... No! All night long di damn woman just deh deh a twis up, twis up mi rass ears dem".

[JA Tam 7]

I hope everyone had a great day today.

Edited October 18, 2007 by JA Tam

[JA Tam 7]

MY HUSBAND FINALLY GOT A DATE (NOVEMBER 13TH @ 1 PM). I LOVE YOU GUYS. BIG UP TO FATHER GOD, FAMILY, VJ MEMBERS & SENATOR JOHNNY ISAKSON! I HAVE ALREADY SCHEDULED KEVIN'S MEDICAL. THIS IS SO SURREAL. WE ARE CELEBRATING OUR FIRST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY ON SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20TH. I AM OFF TO JAMAICA ON FRIDAY. I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOHOOO...Thank you Jesus. Mrs. Scott, I am so happy for you. You are finally out of the Immigration blackhole . God Bless you both And Happy Anniversary on Saturday

[Forever Young 1]

I know Tam-Tam...that's one of my favorite tuh!

How are things? Deh house stop rock yet?

, Gill

Whoooiiii mi belly...Never get tired of that one.[quote name='Deyoungting' post='1263025' date='Oct 17 2007,

[JA Tam 7]

Hi everybody sorry for having u worry and lookin for me! busy busy two days im back and at work at that. Flight arrive 2 hours late for Newark and i had to get to work i got here late I had intended on posting and calling last night but i found myself in the bushes eaten by all kind of bug and mosquito in the country got approve easy only like 2 real questions im abt to type all that up. We were like the most organized and dressed for business

happy for u mrs scott i bet ur jumping up and down finally finally if i was ever happy for someone its you !!!! congrats

Congrats JALOVE...So happy for you both

[Nicky Salmon 0]

Girl I am so scared I hate interviews. I just bought Corey a nice outfit but I don't know what I will wear. I hope our interview goes smothly. Please pray for us.

No Worries Nick,

You will be fine!!

Remember Who Jah Bless, NO MAN can curse and you are blessed...seen?

,

Gill

Thank Gill,

Needed that. Sometimes i forget

[JA Tam 7]

I know Tam-Tam...that's one of my favorite tuh!

How are things? Deh house stop rock yet?

, Gill

Shoot...we have too much time to mek up fah fi it fi stop rock Everybody better "lean with it, rock with it" cause a pure niceness. It's awesome having him here, that's for sure. The man nuh give mi nuh chance fi come pon yah inna di day time, cho, but mi love him.

[Forever Young 1]

Girl I am so scared I hate interviews. I just bought Corey a nice outfit but I don't know what I will wear. I hope our interview goes smothly. Please pray for us.

No Worries Nick,

You will be fine!!

Remember Who Jah Bless, NO MAN can curse and you are blessed...seen?

,

Gill

Thank Gill,

Needed that. Sometimes i forget

No problem...we all forget that from time to time. That's what the devil wants! He WILL see you through, EVERYTIME...no doubt!

Blessed always, Gill

[MSNELLY 0]

We go to the Embassy at about 6:30 there were about 15 people outside. We waited for the Embassy car park to open, then about 6:45 there were like 30 people outside, it was not too bad we walked up on the side on the right for those with 7am interviews that line went fast then 715 then 730.We were in right on time. Gaurd asked to see our paper. He asked who i was and then let us both in. Security checked through our bags,then we walked through the courtyard to the next door. A man was there behind a desk with another security agent giving a speech about what papers are needed to be signed, and to sign your police report then gave us a pink long slip and took the interview letter. We then went thru another securtity thing and entered in to section A. and sat down until our name was called and we seemed like we were playin musical chairs as someone got up the next person moved over people were sitting there handwriting the forms that came in packet 3! some went up to the agent at section A and kept getting sent back to fill out things correctly.They called my fiance up he opens his folder and they say you seem to be very organized. She filled out a pink form checking off what we needed and in order so we went over to the side and put those papers in order and returned to the window. She asked me for job letter, tax returns and i handed her all the fincancial stuff she waved and said no more lol our file was the biggest one! its in a pink folder. She then said go to section B we went there sat down others were getting fingerprinted. Some were asked if they ever committed any crime or traveled anywhere out of the country. We got there the man asked who i was, i told him then he fingerprinted my fiance and sent us off to section C. As i was sitting in section B i was hearin WHO i wanted us to get to for the interview lady number 21 or 23 they sounded nice, helpful and cheery. So i say lets sent on the front row so i can hear. So all it all there were alot of families there with lots of children. About 3 got sent to get DNA test as they added the fathers name late. One guy was there with his daughter, she looked to be about 8-10 she says why did u take so long to do this what were u out of the country! were you DEAD! she was loud too everyone laugh. One lady got approve in like 2 min they didnt ask her nothing really. One guy was trying to adopt someone he raised but he had no proof of any kind to support his case he was gettin smart with the consular officer but she remain calm and said sir im really trying to help you here so calm down. She was very helpful with him. Did not witness any denials. One couple was up there over 30 minutes i dont know what happened with that. They called my fiances name and he jumped! lol they said his entire name over the loud speaker. So we go to the very last counter, 24. She says hello she asks who i am. We are both there smiling away at her looking pleasant. I say his fiance she says oh GREAT! so then she asks him if he has any form of sickness or illness, he says no. She asks has he ever committed any crime, he says no. She asks when did you meet and i answer Dec 30 we both kinda answered. She said how many times have u been here i say TEN... she says wow and smiles...She oh all this information in such short of time. Just this past Dec, she asks again...She had a hard time flipping over our heavy folder Then says when will u get married so he says Dec 30th the day we met so she says awwwwww. She says to him you dont have 7 wives in another country do you. He laughs and says oh nooo. She pulls out the little pink small paper and says congratulations and then tells him where to go to airpak. I think thats all.

CONGRATS JALOVE

[Forever Young 1]

I know Tam-Tam...that's one of my favorite tuh!

How are things? Deh house stop rock yet?

, Gill

Shoot...we have too much time to mek up fah fi it fi stop rock Everybody better "lean with it, rock with it" cause a pure niceness. It's awesome having him here, that's for sure. The man nuh give mi nuh chance fi come pon yah inna di day time, cho, but mi love him.

...dyam right! Mi caan blame him ATALL! I can only imagine what that must feel like! I am so happy for you Tam...it's truly a beautiful thing when true love is reunited!

Enjoy deh rocking for all of us dat caan...yet

, Gill

[classychic77 0]

I know Tam-Tam...that's one of my favorite tuh!

How are things? Deh house stop rock yet?

, Gill

Shoot...we have too much time to mek up fah fi it fi stop rock Everybody better "lean with it, rock with it" cause a pure niceness. It's awesome having him here, that's for sure. The man nuh give mi nuh chance fi come pon yah inna di day time, cho, but mi love him.

...dyam right! Mi caan blame him ATALL! I can only imagine what that must feel like! I am so happy for you Tam...it's truly a beautiful thing when true love is reunited!

Enjoy deh rocking for all of us dat caan...yet

, Gill

I'm so glad I found this forum, I've been reading page after page and I just keep laughing and smiling. Its so nice to hear the good stories and jokes!

[JA Tam 7]

I know Tam-Tam...that's one of my favorite tuh!

How are things? Deh house stop rock yet?

, Gill

Shoot...we have too much time to mek up fah fi it fi stop rock Everybody better "lean with it, rock with it" cause a pure niceness. It's awesome having him here, that's for sure. The man nuh give mi nuh chance fi come pon yah inna di day time, cho, but mi love him.

...dyam right! Mi caan blame him ATALL! I can only imagine what that must feel like! I am so happy for you Tam...it's truly a beautiful thing when true love is reunited!

Enjoy deh rocking for all of us dat caan...yet

, Gill

Fi yuh time soon come!!! He is still settling in, but I will keep you posted on the job & school front...

I'm so glad I found this forum, I've been reading page after page and I just keep laughing and smiling. Its so nice to hear the good stories and jokes!

Hey Classychic, pretty soon we will be reading your stories and jokes

[MSNELLY 0]

MY GUY IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF, ITS SO HARD TO GET HIM TO UNDERSTAND WHEN I SAY I AM TIRED I JUST WANT TO REST ,AND ITS LIKE HE ALWAYS TRYING TO COMPARE HOW THINGS ARE DONE IN JAMAICA TO HOW WE DO THINGS IN THE USA DO ANYONE ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEMS.

[JA Tam 7]

MY GUY IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF, ITS SO HARD TO GET HIM TO UNDERSTAND WHEN I SAY I AM TIRED I JUST WANT TO REST ,AND ITS LIKE HE ALWAYS TRYING TO COMPARE HOW THINGS ARE DONE IN JAMAICA TO HOW WE DO THINGS IN THE USA DO ANYONE ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEMS.

Oh Ms Nelly, I had that problem with hubby. Even though he is considering Miramar, Kingston 21, he will experience that things do run differently here than in Jamaica. Honestly, he is going to have to experience it for himself before he understands where you are coming from.

[Nicky Salmon 0]

I'm so glad I found this forum, I've been reading page after page and I just keep laughing and smiling. Its so nice to hear the good stories and jokes!

Me too. It helps pass the time. Everyone is great and very helpful.