Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[Nicky Salmon 0]

Next time he knows better. Do you think he will learn not to take you for granted or will there possiblibly be a repeat.

Sorry,

I am new to this and seemed to have posted this in the wrong place. It is customary to send invatations 6 weeks prior to the wedding. However from what i have seen time is different for the US and Jamaica. Jamaican time is more lax not definate.

If your husband is anything like Corey arguing is not going to get you anywhere. Men on average hate conflict. I know I am surrounded by them at work on a daily bases.

Yeah, but the bride is an american woman.... born and bred.....so not sure why the "lax" jamaican of a phone call would suffice over an actual wedding invitation? Who knows.... I don't care anymore. Trust me....I know that arguing will get nowhere, but when you have an adult conversation (or at least try to) and one of those "adults" acts like a child, it's truly frustrating!!!

He's now called 3 more times....so are you still not coming to get me? As I'm in my PJ's in bed !!!!

[Marlita 0]

I've met Craig's brother...last May when I went down for the interview and hung out with him for 48 hours.....but still.....invitation in writing ???!!!!! What trying to save flippin 41 cents ???!! TOTAL FLIPPIN BS !!!

True but why didn't Craig tell you?? I'm sure he didn't find out 2 weeks ago that he was the best man. I would be more angry with Craig than his family.

Oh trust me Shemanya I'm totally pissed off at Craig although he has absolutely "no idea" as to why!!! When I brought the whole wedding thing up or tried to discuss it, it was truly like talking to a 10 yr old!!! I don't know this and I'm not sure of that.... and I'm like whatever !!!!

Of course "I" look like the bad guy for not being there and not picking him up. "I" could really and truly care less!!

Asking his brother questions, where are you getting married?.....answer: in a church. What area? answer: here, near to our home....where is that ? Ardmore, where is that ? couldn't answer ... (he's been here over a year)...one worded answers. What time is the rehearsal dinner? no answer, Where is the rehearsal dinner? no answer....What time is the wedding? ...answer: in the afternoon ...I asked, exactly what time? didn't answer. I didn't have the extra funds available for a hotel stay and trust me, for the weekend in that area, nothing was less than $150/night!! I asked if there was a hotel that they set up for out of town guests, he's said, I don't know. That's when I said (nicely--cause I like his brother, he was nice to me) .............sorry I won't be able to make it. I could tell that I was not really "wanted" there, which was absolutely fine with me. It was a weekend ALL TO MYSELF (my son was still here) !!!!! Which ....was very very nice !!! and no arguing and bickering about STUPID ####### !!!!!!

I was just gonna say it was obvious that they didnt want you there and for a specific reason but it seems that you finally figured it out. Things are not always so complicated sometimes the answer is right in front of you. This may sound harsh but we gotta keep it real sometimes and quit dancing around a situation in order to conclude it and solve the problem. I think you know what the issue here is, and now its on to solving it.

[rhondapayter 0]

I'm Renee, 30, from Michigan. He's from Montego Bay. We met in May while I was vacationing. And have talked on the phone every day since. I went back to visit 10/3 - 10/7. He proposed 10/5 at this great restaurant that was a boat. We haven't filed yet, things are moving pretty quickly but we both know we need to make sure we really know each other. This whole situation seems so surreal but incredibly right at the same time. I am so thankful I found all of you. It helps talking to people who have experienced the same thing.

Woo hoo Michigan is in the house!! Congrats on the proposal! Even if you file your paperwork now, you'll have plenty of time while you're waiting for an approval to continue getting to know each other I knew the process would take months, so we filed as soon as we could - not being 100% sure yet - but by the time that approval came we were soooooo ready to be together. Whatever you do, do NOT waste your money on an immigration lawyer. Everything you need is right here on this site. If you can't find something, just ask. Good luck

[Nicky Salmon 0]

For me i know that Corey works hard, but does not make alot of money. So I try to help as much as i can. I tell myself it is not always going to be like this.

Hello All,

The answer to how not to miss your man so much is to work your but off. You are going to need the money anyways. Money for USCIS, Visa, travel and don't forget the wedding. But even with all of this you still miss them something terible. I miss mine everyday and count down the weeks until i see him again. When we started this journey we thought it would only be a couple months. Not so on seven months and counting.

Hello Nicky, saw your post and it prompted me to ask this question...not directly to you but in general to all cause I have seen posts and statements like your before.

My question to all is why are we working so hard to pay for EVERYTHING!! Visas, travel, even our own wedding. I mean....are these men contributing ANYTHING to the process? Shouldn't he be working his butt off to pay for his plane ticket or at least the cost of his passport and visa. Whats that all about? I understand the pay scale is different in Jamaica, but the need is still the same as here in the US.....so if he wants to come here, and be with you, he should be paying for it. Him not paying for at least 40% of this process is a problem to me. And if he can't afford it then he cant come til he can! I mean this is residency into the most sought after country in all the WORLD....this is a big move and "accomplishment" to say the least....if someone really wants it...they will make a way to get it paid for......

Just something to ponder.

[Marlita 0]

Hi everyone! How do you guys deal with having your man so far away? I'm missing mine so much. (And I've only been away from him for 6 days, lol.) Just looking for ideas that maybe I haven't tried yet.

Welcome to the Yardie thread My hubby is out-of-town for work right now so I feel your pain! Here are my suggestions: talk on the phone often - I know it's expensive, but it helps! Keep some pics of the two of you together nearby so you can look at them often. I don't know if he has internet access, but you could send e-mails or pm's. Steal a t-shirt or some other clothing from him and wear it to bed so you can smell his scent And you can always come on here and get support.

I like the T-shirt thing. I stole some worn boxers, and still havent washed them.....yeh its a bit gross...but they still smell like my love!!

For me i know that Corey works hard, but does not make alot of money. So I try to help as much as i can. I tell myself it is not always going to be like this.

Hello All,

The answer to how not to miss your man so much is to work your but off. You are going to need the money anyways. Money for USCIS, Visa, travel and don't forget the wedding. But even with all of this you still miss them something terible. I miss mine everyday and count down the weeks until i see him again. When we started this journey we thought it would only be a couple months. Not so on seven months and counting.

Hello Nicky, saw your post and it prompted me to ask this question...not directly to you but in general to all cause I have seen posts and statements like your before.

My question to all is why are we working so hard to pay for EVERYTHING!! Visas, travel, even our own wedding. I mean....are these men contributing ANYTHING to the process? Shouldn't he be working his butt off to pay for his plane ticket or at least the cost of his passport and visa. Whats that all about? I understand the pay scale is different in Jamaica, but the need is still the same as here in the US.....so if he wants to come here, and be with you, he should be paying for it. Him not paying for at least 40% of this process is a problem to me. And if he can't afford it then he cant come til he can! I mean this is residency into the most sought after country in all the WORLD....this is a big move and "accomplishment" to say the least....if someone really wants it...they will make a way to get it paid for......

Just something to ponder.

Girl we all tell ourselves that.

[rhondapayter 0]

Anyway, question that I have is..... should we have been sent a wedding invitation? I mean 150 people were coming to the wedding!! Craig had no clue what his brothers wife's name is.

That is absolutely crazy!! Of course you should have gotten an invitation! We only had about 30 people at our wedding and we still sent out invitations to everyone! That's just rude of them. Not to mention, a little more notice would have been nice.

[rhondapayter 0]

My question to all is why are we working so hard to pay for EVERYTHING!! Visas, travel, even our own wedding. I mean....are these men contributing ANYTHING to the process? Shouldn't he be working his butt off to pay for his plane ticket or at least the cost of his passport and visa. Whats that all about? I understand the pay scale is different in Jamaica, but the need is still the same as here in the US.....so if he wants to come here, and be with you, he should be paying for it. Him not paying for at least 40% of this process is a problem to me. And if he can't afford it then he cant come til he can! I mean this is residency into the most sought after country in all the WORLD....this is a big move and "accomplishment" to say the least....if someone really wants it...they will make a way to get it paid for......

Just something to ponder.

I think it depends on the situation. I know in MY situation, I made about 10 times more money than Tony did at the time. It wouldn't have been fair to split it 50/50. He chipped in with whatever he could along the way. I was fine with that. If we had to wait for him to pay for 100% of things, we may still not be married! It just wasn't feasible. The things we do for love......

[rhondapayter 0]

Plus Craig is the GROOMS brother and we all know that the groom can be left out of the loop or not as detailed as the bride when it comes to a wedding. So the groom was probably supposed to give the bride all address from his side of the family for the invites and he just left you guys off. You see...there could be hundreds of reasons.

Yep, that's very true. Most guys just aren't into planning details like women are. Tony often makes plans for us and doesn't mention it til the last minute and then he doesn't even know all the details. I usually have to call his friends wife/girlfriend so that WE can discuss details!

[rhondapayter 0]

For me i know that Corey works hard, but does not make alot of money. So I try to help as much as i can. I tell myself it is not always going to be like this.

I understand completely. Just know that even though it does get better, depending on your situation, YOU might always be the primary bread winner in your relationship. I know this is something that I still struggle with occasionally - even though I knew what I was getting into when I got married. He works his butt off, but with little education, the money is just not gonna be the same. So just know what your expectations are for the future so you're both on the same page

[luvtravlin 0]

I've met Craig's brother...last May when I went down for the interview and hung out with him for 48 hours.....but still.....invitation in writing ???!!!!! What trying to save flippin 41 cents ???!! TOTAL FLIPPIN BS !!!

True but why didn't Craig tell you?? I'm sure he didn't find out 2 weeks ago that he was the best man. I would be more angry with Craig than his family.

Oh trust me Shemanya I'm totally pissed off at Craig although he has absolutely "no idea" as to why!!! When I brought the whole wedding thing up or tried to discuss it, it was truly like talking to a 10 yr old!!! I don't know this and I'm not sure of that.... and I'm like whatever !!!!

Of course "I" look like the bad guy for not being there and not picking him up. "I" could really and truly care less!!

Asking his brother questions, where are you getting married?.....answer: in a church. What area? answer: here, near to our home....where is that ? Ardmore, where is that ? couldn't answer ... (he's been here over a year)...one worded answers. What time is the rehearsal dinner? no answer, Where is the rehearsal dinner? no answer....What time is the wedding? ...answer: in the afternoon ...I asked, exactly what time? didn't answer. I didn't have the extra funds available for a hotel stay and trust me, for the weekend in that area, nothing was less than $150/night!! I asked if there was a hotel that they set up for out of town guests, he's said, I don't know. That's when I said (nicely--cause I like his brother, he was nice to me) .............sorry I won't be able to make it. I could tell that I was not really "wanted" there, which was absolutely fine with me. It was a weekend ALL TO MYSELF (my son was still here) !!!!! Which ....was very very nice !!! and no arguing and bickering about STUPID ####### !!!!!!

I was just gonna say it was obvious that they didnt want you there and for a specific reason but it seems that you finally figured it out. Things are not always so complicated sometimes the answer is right in front of you. This may sound harsh but we gotta keep it real sometimes and quit dancing around a situation in order to conclude it and solve the problem. I think you know what the issue here is, and now its on to solving it.

I guess I should have been a Bee-atch to "auntie" and said, the real reason??? Ask your nephew, it was so obvious that I was not wanted there ...... but seriously, I truly had NO desire in going. YES YES YES, I'm pissed at Craig....but what else is new. Solution to this entire problem........is that "I" have NO IDEA why he even bothered to flippin come back!!!! I told him ...please stay there !!!

From anyone that knows me and my relationship with Craig, it has been downhill since the 3rd week of him getting here. We'll have some good moments, but most of it isn't good. "I" do NOT want to continue with my relationship and I would reeeeeeally like for him to get his you know what together and get out, he knows that and we've talked about it till the cows come home....................but...................he will NOT leave and as said in the past, since we are "married" I canNOT kick him out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I want to proceed with divorce, in Maryland, you have to be "legally" separated for a year.......but.........again, he won't flippin leave, says (and threatens that he will), but never does!!! He says he loves me "to death" and wants to work it out, but he doesn't do SQUAT for me to even go there. For instance, last night in one of our conversations, he asked why I'm so upset with him, I told him (again) --he laughs, thinks it's ridiculous and I said....ya know you just need to kiss my a&& a little when you get home (I was joking, but being for real) and he said, you know THAT will never happen!!!!

Craig has been the type (since he got here), that if we have any argument or disagreement......he will NOT apologize "first" or come to me to TRY to solve the issue. "I" have to be the one to smooth things out, start the conversation first.........and ya know after 15 months of him being here, I'm now exhausted with trying anymore.

He's immature and irresponsible (still doesn't pitch in for bills, food, etc) and LISTENS (still) to others --ie cousin, brother, guy/gal off the street of how his life SHOULD be, etc etc.

I am one of those on here that TELL my story, for real and don't BS the truth as to what happens in these types of relationships. Do NOT jump all over me about this doesn't happen in ALL relationships.......I know that, but ......in most that I have met on the yardie thread, it does. I'm am totally envious of those that are on here that have men that know what their priorities and responsibilities are, unfortunately mine has totally lost sight of that !!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY MONDAY

[Forever Young 1]

Anyway, question that I have is..... should we have been sent a wedding invitation? I mean 150 people were coming to the wedding!! Craig had no clue what his brothers wife's name is.

That is absolutely crazy!! Of course you should have gotten an invitation! We only had about 30 people at our wedding and we still sent out invitations to everyone! That's just rude of them. Not to mention, a little more notice would have been nice.

Marlita,

I have to agree with Rhonda on this one! Even if it was an e-vite via the internet something. However, I do think you hit the nail on the head that they didn't want poor luvtravlin' there to begin wid. Which would make me REALLY pissed wid Craig, cause trust me, I know Ken. If I am not invited, then he is not going ...period!

I remember when I was down in JA. in June, there were some kind of African Pride rally going on in country and one of Ken's friend said "Nuh bodda fi bring deh Browning, we want 'REAL' black people deh!" Well, who told him to seh that? Ken went off!! Him tell 'im friend all kindda claat and then said 'Bwoy, mi neva realize how fool you is! This is what keeps us down. You look at my Empress and doan find she 'dark' enough fi be black. My Lioness know more about our history and culture den your dounce ### does!" He has never spoken to that Brethen again. No matter how much he apologizes to Ken. He is not trying to hear it!

That ish would piss me off to high heaven. I'm sorry Luvtravlin, but Craig needs to come correct with that ish!

Blessings,

Gill

[JA Tam 7]

My case was completed at NVC 10/11/07!!!!! Any ideas on how long it takes for them to schedule the interview at this point?

Congratulations CaribQueen. You are on your way. It seems like you are going the CR1/IR1 route - you should be getting an interview date for December (keeping fingers crossed). They are currently scheduling November interviews, so by mid- November start calling the NVC to see if they have scheduled your interview. You're on your way

[luvtravlin 0]

Anyway, question that I have is..... should we have been sent a wedding invitation? I mean 150 people were coming to the wedding!! Craig had no clue what his brothers wife's name is.

That is absolutely crazy!! Of course you should have gotten an invitation! We only had about 30 people at our wedding and we still sent out invitations to everyone! That's just rude of them. Not to mention, a little more notice would have been nice.

Marlita,

I have to agree with Rhonda on this one! Even if it was an e-vite via the internet something. However, I do think you hit the nail on the head that they didn't want poor luvtravlin' there to begin wid. Which would make me REALLY pissed wid Craig, cause trust me, I know Ken. If I am not invited, then he is not going ...period!

I remember when I was down in JA. in June, there were some kind of African Pride rally going on in country and one of Ken's friend said "Nuh bodda fi bring deh Browning, we want 'REAL' black people deh!" Well, who told him to seh that? Ken went off!! Him tell 'im friend all kindda claat and then said 'Bwoy, mi neva realize how fool you is! This is what keeps us down. You look at my Empress and doan find she 'dark' enough fi be black. My Lioness know more about our history and culture den your dounce ### does!" He has never spoken to that Brethen again. No matter how much he apologizes to Ken. He is not trying to hear it!

That ish would piss me off to high heaven. I'm sorry Luvtravlin, but Craig needs to come correct with that ish!

Blessings,

Gill

OH TRUST ME, I'm noooooo dummy. I SO get that I was not wanted there, but reeeeeally "I" had absolutely NO DESIRE to go there in the 1st place and I was totally excited to have 3 days without HIM being here !!!!!!

This also goes back to the black/white thing. Most of that side of his family don't "like" white people. Craig asked if we had extra pictures around so that he could take pictures with him to show everyone our wedding pics and loads of other pictures we've taken...trips, the cats, my son playing soccer....so I made up a little photo album before he left, but just went through his bags, ummmm where's the photo album??? So who has it ??? very bizarre !!!!

I also gave "C" a disposable camera to take pics of himself (cause I've never seen him "dressed up")..........and pictures of the wedding, his father, etc etc........dumba&& never bothered to open it up !!! What a total jerk-off !!!!

[JA Tam 7]

My case was completed at NVC 10/11/07!!!!! Any ideas on how long it takes for them to schedule the interview at this point?

not really sure on anytime frame...but it goes from nvc to kingston then they enter it into the system that sometimes can take a liikle bit....then he has to make a appt. and drop of the ds230 then after that is when they schedule a interview

congratz another step closer

Well with the new process, the NVC wants all the paperwork up front. I had to send both DS230 part 1 & 2 to them along with all original documents and police certificate. They set the interview and forward the information to the embassy.

For the CR-1 folks, the NVC is still scheduling November interviews. On Tuesday, October 16th, call 202-663-1225 to see if you have been scheduled an interview. If one has not been arranged, try to call back on Thursday, October 18th. Since your case was just completed on Thursday, you may be looking at a December interview. Keep your fingers crossed. I along with the other VJ members will do the same.

FYI - If you call the Department of State, they will not have it in their system until it is entered at the Embassy; that could be a few weeks, when the paperwork is finally in Jamaica. The most that the Department of State will be able to tell you is that the paperwork was sent electronically to the Embassy in Kingston. NVC will give you your date, but I realized that it takes a little time for it to catch up in other systems.

[nannygirl82 0]

I've met Craig's brother...last May when I went down for the interview and hung out with him for 48 hours.....but still.....invitation in writing ???!!!!! What trying to save flippin 41 cents ???!! TOTAL FLIPPIN BS !!!

True but why didn't Craig tell you?? I'm sure he didn't find out 2 weeks ago that he was the best man. I would be more angry with Craig than his family.

Oh trust me Shemanya I'm totally pissed off at Craig although he has absolutely "no idea" as to why!!! When I brought the whole wedding thing up or tried to discuss it, it was truly like talking to a 10 yr old!!! I don't know this and I'm not sure of that.... and I'm like whatever !!!!

Of course "I" look like the bad guy for not being there and not picking him up. "I" could really and truly care less!!

Asking his brother questions, where are you getting married?.....answer: in a church. What area? answer: here, near to our home....where is that ? Ardmore, where is that ? couldn't answer ... (he's been here over a year)...one worded answers. What time is the rehearsal dinner? no answer, Where is the rehearsal dinner? no answer....What time is the wedding? ...answer: in the afternoon ...I asked, exactly what time? didn't answer. I didn't have the extra funds available for a hotel stay and trust me, for the weekend in that area, nothing was less than $150/night!! I asked if there was a hotel that they set up for out of town guests, he's said, I don't know. That's when I said (nicely--cause I like his brother, he was nice to me) .............sorry I won't be able to make it. I could tell that I was not really "wanted" there, which was absolutely fine with me. It was a weekend ALL TO MYSELF (my son was still here) !!!!! Which ....was very very nice !!! and no arguing and bickering about STUPID ####### !!!!!!

I was just gonna say it was obvious that they didnt want you there and for a specific reason but it seems that you finally figured it out. Things are not always so complicated sometimes the answer is right in front of you. This may sound harsh but we gotta keep it real sometimes and quit dancing around a situation in order to conclude it and solve the problem. I think you know what the issue here is, and now its on to solving it.

I guess I should have been a Bee-atch to "auntie" and said, the real reason??? Ask your nephew, it was so obvious that I was not wanted there ...... but seriously, I truly had NO desire in going. YES YES YES, I'm pissed at Craig....but what else is new. Solution to this entire problem........is that "I" have NO IDEA why he even bothered to flippin come back!!!! I told him ...please stay there !!!

From anyone that knows me and my relationship with Craig, it has been downhill since the 3rd week of him getting here. We'll have some good moments, but most of it isn't good. "I" do NOT want to continue with my relationship and I would reeeeeeally like for him to get his you know what together and get out, he knows that and we've talked about it till the cows come home....................but...................he will NOT leave and as said in the past, since we are "married" I canNOT kick him out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I want to proceed with divorce, in Maryland, you have to be "legally" separated for a year.......but.........again, he won't flippin leave, says (and threatens that he will), but never does!!! He says he loves me "to death" and wants to work it out, but he doesn't do SQUAT for me to even go there. For instance, last night in one of our conversations, he asked why I'm so upset with him, I told him (again) --he laughs, thinks it's ridiculous and I said....ya know you just need to kiss my a&& a little when you get home (I was joking, but being for real) and he said, you know THAT will never happen!!!!

Craig has been the type (since he got here), that if we have any argument or disagreement......he will NOT apologize "first" or come to me to TRY to solve the issue. "I" have to be the one to smooth things out, start the conversation first.........and ya know after 15 months of him being here, I'm now exhausted with trying anymore.

He's immature and irresponsible (still doesn't pitch in for bills, food, etc) and LISTENS (still) to others --ie cousin, brother, guy/gal off the street of how his life SHOULD be, etc etc.

I am one of those on here that TELL my story, for real and don't BS the truth as to what happens in these types of relationships. Do NOT jump all over me about this doesn't happen in ALL relationships.......I know that, but ......in most that I have met on the yardie thread, it does. I'm am totally envious of those that are on here that have men that know what their priorities and responsibilities are, unfortunately mine has totally lost sight of that !!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY MONDAY

yup.....

well kelly i think craig new that you weren't wanted....he should have been man enough to stand up to them and say if she isn't wanted then i am not coming....