Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[Forever Young 1]

**OFF TOPIC** (but gosh what isn't?)

VENTING and question for you guys ....

Craig's brother got married (in the *real* ceremony to an american woman) this weekend in Philly. I didn't know anything about it until about 2 weeks ago. We never received an actual invitation. Craig was his brothers best man. His brother, over the phone last week Wed asked me if I was coming. I asked him....when, where, what time, I would need to find a sitter for my son (didn't sound like my sound was invited...at least his brother didn't say...bring him) just a bunch of questions....and he could not (or chose not) to answer any of them......sorry, but I wasn't going to be able to make it...

SO, I get a call from Craig's father today....TELLING me that Craig was going to stay late and when "I" would need to pick him up at the bus station. I said, sorry sir, but that is not an option ...Craig and I discussed that the 8:20pm bus would be the latest for me to go DOWNTOWN Baltimore to get him. Then he asked me if "I" knew his name and then said that they were at a "family" function ....and I said, okaaay??? His father is "controlling" and has NEVER been in Craig's life. Craig is the product of an affair that his father had. He's been living in Philly for a year and **now** just calls me (and he's never once called Craig since he's been here)???? Anyway, "daddy" asks if Craig could come home tomorrow and I said, it doesn't matter to me when he comes home as long as he has a ride from the bus station since I'll be working and then I need to pick up my son from soccer practice. So then he asks if I could speak to his Auntie...........not wanting to............I said, sure. So she gets on the phone and says (rudely) WHY AREN'T YOU AT THE WEDDING ??!! I wanted to go off, but nicely I said, I didn't know anything about it until 2 weeks ago, my son has obligations on the weekend, we don't have anyone that could watch our cats..... she could have CARED less what I said.... I was pretty ticked....

Anyway, question that I have is..... should we have been sent a wedding invitation? I mean 150 people were coming to the wedding!! Craig had no clue what his brothers wife's name is.

I'm sorry, as Whitney would say..."HELL TO THE YEAH", you should have had an invitation!!! What deh hell they tek dis thing for ??? Especially having never met you!

Trust me it's so not you...it's THEM!! I would have told Craig's father, Auntie, brother, Sister, Granny, or dawg...the same thing! I am in no way travelling into Baltimore, put myself and my child at risk, that time of night to pick up anyone! Since they feel so strongly about him staying then, send him home with cab fare! Plus, why didn't Craig call himself...why are you playing 'Operator' with family members?

I don't mean to insult you, I know I don't know you and I am SO not trying to get into your business...but in the future let hubby know don't send no boddi fi duh his dutty work! He wants to ask you something...then HE should ask! You married a MAN, not a child!

And his Father and Auntie are dyam outta order! Dyam facety bunch!

my 2 cents...blessed- Gill

[luvtravlin 0]

**OFF TOPIC** (but gosh what isn't?)

VENTING and question for you guys ....

Craig's brother got married (in the *real* ceremony to an american woman) this weekend in Philly. I didn't know anything about it until about 2 weeks ago. We never received an actual invitation. Craig was his brothers best man. His brother, over the phone last week Wed asked me if I was coming. I asked him....when, where, what time, I would need to find a sitter for my son (didn't sound like my sound was invited...at least his brother didn't say...bring him) just a bunch of questions....and he could not (or chose not) to answer any of them......sorry, but I wasn't going to be able to make it...

SO, I get a call from Craig's father today....TELLING me that Craig was going to stay late and when "I" would need to pick him up at the bus station. I said, sorry sir, but that is not an option ...Craig and I discussed that the 8:20pm bus would be the latest for me to go DOWNTOWN Baltimore to get him. Then he asked me if "I" knew his name and then said that they were at a "family" function ....and I said, okaaay??? His father is "controlling" and has NEVER been in Craig's life. Craig is the product of an affair that his father had. He's been living in Philly for a year and **now** just calls me (and he's never once called Craig since he's been here)???? Anyway, "daddy" asks if Craig could come home tomorrow and I said, it doesn't matter to me when he comes home as long as he has a ride from the bus station since I'll be working and then I need to pick up my son from soccer practice. So then he asks if I could speak to his Auntie...........not wanting to............I said, sure. So she gets on the phone and says (rudely) WHY AREN'T YOU AT THE WEDDING ??!! I wanted to go off, but nicely I said, I didn't know anything about it until 2 weeks ago, my son has obligations on the weekend, we don't have anyone that could watch our cats..... she could have CARED less what I said.... I was pretty ticked....

Anyway, question that I have is..... should we have been sent a wedding invitation? I mean 150 people were coming to the wedding!! Craig had no clue what his brothers wife's name is.

My question is why wasn't craig calling you to discuss this??? You shouldn't have to go through family to discuss your and craig's plans.

Right. And why didn't Craig tell you about the wedding before two weeks ago? Have you talked to Craig since you talked to his father?

Exactly !!!!! Not exactly sure what he was (or wasn't) thinking. Yep, I've spoken to him several times. He "missed" the early bus and now he's on the late bus.....withOUT a ride home.......NOT my problem. He's called several times, saying he doesn't have money, blah blah blah blah....whatever....he knows I'm pissed about this entire weekend (and lack of phone calls---ie letting me know he got there safe )!!!! I told him about 30 min ago ...why didn't HE have the balls to stand up to "his family" and tell them....my WIFE is picking me up at such and such and that he HAS to be at the bus station at 5pm!!! Meanwhile, he says....we were at a "family" dinner and I'm like...............AND ???!!!!

**OFF TOPIC** (but gosh what isn't?)

VENTING and question for you guys ....

Craig's brother got married (in the *real* ceremony to an american woman) this weekend in Philly. I didn't know anything about it until about 2 weeks ago. We never received an actual invitation. Craig was his brothers best man. His brother, over the phone last week Wed asked me if I was coming. I asked him....when, where, what time, I would need to find a sitter for my son (didn't sound like my sound was invited...at least his brother didn't say...bring him) just a bunch of questions....and he could not (or chose not) to answer any of them......sorry, but I wasn't going to be able to make it...

SO, I get a call from Craig's father today....TELLING me that Craig was going to stay late and when "I" would need to pick him up at the bus station. I said, sorry sir, but that is not an option ...Craig and I discussed that the 8:20pm bus would be the latest for me to go DOWNTOWN Baltimore to get him. Then he asked me if "I" knew his name and then said that they were at a "family" function ....and I said, okaaay??? His father is "controlling" and has NEVER been in Craig's life. Craig is the product of an affair that his father had. He's been living in Philly for a year and **now** just calls me (and he's never once called Craig since he's been here)???? Anyway, "daddy" asks if Craig could come home tomorrow and I said, it doesn't matter to me when he comes home as long as he has a ride from the bus station since I'll be working and then I need to pick up my son from soccer practice. So then he asks if I could speak to his Auntie...........not wanting to............I said, sure. So she gets on the phone and says (rudely) WHY AREN'T YOU AT THE WEDDING ??!! I wanted to go off, but nicely I said, I didn't know anything about it until 2 weeks ago, my son has obligations on the weekend, we don't have anyone that could watch our cats..... she could have CARED less what I said.... I was pretty ticked....

Anyway, question that I have is..... should we have been sent a wedding invitation? I mean 150 people were coming to the wedding!! Craig had no clue what his brothers wife's name is.

I'm sorry, as Whitney would say..."HELL TO THE YEAH", you should have had an invitation!!! What deh hell they tek dis thing for ??? Especially having never met you!

Trust me it's so not you...it's THEM!! I would have told Craig's father, Auntie, brother, Sister, Granny, or dawg...the same thing! I am in no way travelling into Baltimore, put myself and my child at risk, that time of night to pick up anyone! Since they feel so strongly about him staying then, send him home with cab fare! Plus, why didn't Craig call himself...why are you playing 'Operator' with family members?

I don't mean to insult you, I know I don't know you and I am SO not trying to get into your business...but in the future let hubby know don't send no boddi fi duh his dutty work! He wants to ask you something...then HE should ask! You married a MAN, not a child!

And his Father and Auntie are dyam outta order! Dyam facety bunch!

my 2 cents...blessed- Gill

No insults taken here at all. I truly appreciate your honesty !!! "I" know I'm not crazy and "I" completely think it's soooo out of line what his family did !!! I can ONLY imagine the conversation they had when I got off the phone with Auntie !!!!

[luvtravlin 0]

**OFF TOPIC** (but gosh what isn't?)

VENTING and question for you guys ....

Craig's brother got married (in the *real* ceremony to an american woman) this weekend in Philly. I didn't know anything about it until about 2 weeks ago. We never received an actual invitation. Craig was his brothers best man. His brother, over the phone last week Wed asked me if I was coming. I asked him....when, where, what time, I would need to find a sitter for my son (didn't sound like my sound was invited...at least his brother didn't say...bring him) just a bunch of questions....and he could not (or chose not) to answer any of them......sorry, but I wasn't going to be able to make it...

SO, I get a call from Craig's father today....TELLING me that Craig was going to stay late and when "I" would need to pick him up at the bus station. I said, sorry sir, but that is not an option ...Craig and I discussed that the 8:20pm bus would be the latest for me to go DOWNTOWN Baltimore to get him. Then he asked me if "I" knew his name and then said that they were at a "family" function ....and I said, okaaay??? His father is "controlling" and has NEVER been in Craig's life. Craig is the product of an affair that his father had. He's been living in Philly for a year and **now** just calls me (and he's never once called Craig since he's been here)???? Anyway, "daddy" asks if Craig could come home tomorrow and I said, it doesn't matter to me when he comes home as long as he has a ride from the bus station since I'll be working and then I need to pick up my son from soccer practice. So then he asks if I could speak to his Auntie...........not wanting to............I said, sure. So she gets on the phone and says (rudely) WHY AREN'T YOU AT THE WEDDING ??!! I wanted to go off, but nicely I said, I didn't know anything about it until 2 weeks ago, my son has obligations on the weekend, we don't have anyone that could watch our cats..... she could have CARED less what I said.... I was pretty ticked....

Anyway, question that I have is..... should we have been sent a wedding invitation? I mean 150 people were coming to the wedding!! Craig had no clue what his brothers wife's name is.

I'm sorry, as Whitney would say..."HELL TO THE YEAH", you should have had an invitation!!! What deh hell they tek dis thing for ??? Especially having never met you!

Trust me it's so not you...it's THEM!! I would have told Craig's father, Auntie, brother, Sister, Granny, or dawg...the same thing! I am in no way travelling into Baltimore, put myself and my child at risk, that time of night to pick up anyone! Since they feel so strongly about him staying then, send him home with cab fare! Plus, why didn't Craig call himself...why are you playing 'Operator' with family members?

I don't mean to insult you, I know I don't know you and I am SO not trying to get into your business...but in the future let hubby know don't send no boddi fi duh his dutty work! He wants to ask you something...then HE should ask! You married a MAN, not a child!

And his Father and Auntie are dyam outta order! Dyam facety bunch!

my 2 cents...blessed- Gill

I've met Craig's brother...last May when I went down for the interview and hung out with him for 48 hours.....but still.....invitation in writing ???!!!!! What trying to save flippin 41 cents ???!! TOTAL FLIPPIN BS !!!

[Shemmy 4]

I've met Craig's brother...last May when I went down for the interview and hung out with him for 48 hours.....but still.....invitation in writing ???!!!!! What trying to save flippin 41 cents ???!! TOTAL FLIPPIN BS !!!

True but why didn't Craig tell you?? I'm sure he didn't find out 2 weeks ago that he was the best man. I would be more angry with Craig than his family.

[luvtravlin 0]

I've met Craig's brother...last May when I went down for the interview and hung out with him for 48 hours.....but still.....invitation in writing ???!!!!! What trying to save flippin 41 cents ???!! TOTAL FLIPPIN BS !!!

True but why didn't Craig tell you?? I'm sure he didn't find out 2 weeks ago that he was the best man. I would be more angry with Craig than his family.

Oh trust me Shemanya I'm totally pissed off at Craig although he has absolutely "no idea" as to why!!! When I brought the whole wedding thing up or tried to discuss it, it was truly like talking to a 10 yr old!!! I don't know this and I'm not sure of that.... and I'm like whatever !!!!

Of course "I" look like the bad guy for not being there and not picking him up. "I" could really and truly care less!!

Asking his brother questions, where are you getting married?.....answer: in a church. What area? answer: here, near to our home....where is that ? Ardmore, where is that ? couldn't answer ... (he's been here over a year)...one worded answers. What time is the rehearsal dinner? no answer, Where is the rehearsal dinner? no answer....What time is the wedding? ...answer: in the afternoon ...I asked, exactly what time? didn't answer. I didn't have the extra funds available for a hotel stay and trust me, for the weekend in that area, nothing was less than $150/night!! I asked if there was a hotel that they set up for out of town guests, he's said, I don't know. That's when I said (nicely--cause I like his brother, he was nice to me) .............sorry I won't be able to make it. I could tell that I was not really "wanted" there, which was absolutely fine with me. It was a weekend ALL TO MYSELF (my son was still here) !!!!! Which ....was very very nice !!! and no arguing and bickering about STUPID ####### !!!!!!

[Nicky Salmon 0]

Hello All,

The answer to how not to miss your man so much is to work your but off. You are going to need the money anyways. Money for USCIS, Visa, travel and don't forget the wedding. But even with all of this you still miss them something terible. I miss mine everyday and count down the weeks until i see him again. When we started this journey we thought it would only be a couple months. Not so on seven months and counting.

[jamerican 2]

KEVIN IS ALIVE AND NOT IN JAIL EITHER...........But once I see him......HE WILL BE!!! I have to go now but will be back on later with the details. Not completely sure how I am going to handle the situation...but just know he has been found!!!!

[Nicky Salmon 0]

Sorry,

I am new to this and seemed to have posted this in the wrong place. It is customary to send invatations 6 weeks prior to the wedding. However from what i have seen time is different for the US and Jamaica. Jamaican time is more lax not definate.

If your husband is anything like Corey arguing is not going to get you anywhere. Men on average hate conflict. I know I am surrounded by them at work on a daily bases.

[Shemmy 4]

KEVIN IS ALIVE AND NOT IN JAIL EITHER...........But once I see him......HE WILL BE!!! I have to go now but will be back on later with the details. Not completely sure how I am going to handle the situation...but just know he has been found!!!!

Thank God. Poor Kevin

[luvtravlin 0]

Sorry,

I am new to this and seemed to have posted this in the wrong place. It is customary to send invatations 6 weeks prior to the wedding. However from what i have seen time is different for the US and Jamaica. Jamaican time is more lax not definate.

If your husband is anything like Corey arguing is not going to get you anywhere. Men on average hate conflict. I know I am surrounded by them at work on a daily bases.

Yeah, but the bride is an american woman.... born and bred.....so not sure why the "lax" jamaican of a phone call would suffice over an actual wedding invitation? Who knows.... I don't care anymore. Trust me....I know that arguing will get nowhere, but when you have an adult conversation (or at least try to) and one of those "adults" acts like a child, it's truly frustrating!!!

He's now called 3 more times....so are you still not coming to get me? As I'm in my PJ's in bed !!!!

[Marlita 0]

Hello All,

The answer to how not to miss your man so much is to work your but off. You are going to need the money anyways. Money for USCIS, Visa, travel and don't forget the wedding. But even with all of this you still miss them something terible. I miss mine everyday and count down the weeks until i see him again. When we started this journey we thought it would only be a couple months. Not so on seven months and counting.

Hello Nicky, saw your post and it prompted me to ask this question...not directly to you but in general to all cause I have seen posts and statements like your before.

My question to all is why are we working so hard to pay for EVERYTHING!! Visas, travel, even our own wedding. I mean....are these men contributing ANYTHING to the process? Shouldn't he be working his butt off to pay for his plane ticket or at least the cost of his passport and visa. Whats that all about? I understand the pay scale is different in Jamaica, but the need is still the same as here in the US.....so if he wants to come here, and be with you, he should be paying for it. Him not paying for at least 40% of this process is a problem to me. And if he can't afford it then he cant come til he can! I mean this is residency into the most sought after country in all the WORLD....this is a big move and "accomplishment" to say the least....if someone really wants it...they will make a way to get it paid for......

Just something to ponder.

[rhondapayter 0]

Speaking of Tyler Perry.....did anyone else think Janet Jackson's head looked funny on her body in the previews? Like it was too big or something.

LOL...juss how har head stay. You are used to seeing a head full of weave...and it was slicked back in a ponytail without on the previews.

[Nicky Salmon 0]

Hi everybody! thanks for your well wishes and encouragement it means alot to me im just gettin myself together today im gonna go in town have a good day the rain has cleared it was sunny today and yesterday. The day i get here Chris decides to say that hes not ready to get married. Im like when did u plan on sayin this.

IM prayin that everyone get their interview dates soon!!! have a blessed day everyone

Are you ok? Are you still going to the interview.

[Marlita 0]

**OFF TOPIC** (but gosh what isn't?)

VENTING and question for you guys ....

Craig's brother got married (in the *real* ceremony to an american woman) this weekend in Philly. I didn't know anything about it until about 2 weeks ago. We never received an actual invitation. Craig was his brothers best man. His brother, over the phone last week Wed asked me if I was coming. I asked him....when, where, what time, I would need to find a sitter for my son (didn't sound like my sound was invited...at least his brother didn't say...bring him) just a bunch of questions....and he could not (or chose not) to answer any of them......sorry, but I wasn't going to be able to make it...

SO, I get a call from Craig's father today....TELLING me that Craig was going to stay late and when "I" would need to pick him up at the bus station. I said, sorry sir, but that is not an option ...Craig and I discussed that the 8:20pm bus would be the latest for me to go DOWNTOWN Baltimore to get him. Then he asked me if "I" knew his name and then said that they were at a "family" function ....and I said, okaaay??? His father is "controlling" and has NEVER been in Craig's life. Craig is the product of an affair that his father had. He's been living in Philly for a year and **now** just calls me (and he's never once called Craig since he's been here)???? Anyway, "daddy" asks if Craig could come home tomorrow and I said, it doesn't matter to me when he comes home as long as he has a ride from the bus station since I'll be working and then I need to pick up my son from soccer practice. So then he asks if I could speak to his Auntie...........not wanting to............I said, sure. So she gets on the phone and says (rudely) WHY AREN'T YOU AT THE WEDDING ??!! I wanted to go off, but nicely I said, I didn't know anything about it until 2 weeks ago, my son has obligations on the weekend, we don't have anyone that could watch our cats..... she could have CARED less what I said.... I was pretty ticked....

Anyway, question that I have is..... should we have been sent a wedding invitation? I mean 150 people were coming to the wedding!! Craig had no clue what his brothers wife's name is.

I'm sorry, as Whitney would say..."HELL TO THE YEAH", you should have had an invitation!!! What deh hell they tek dis thing for ??? Especially having never met you!

Trust me it's so not you...it's THEM!! I would have told Craig's father, Auntie, brother, Sister, Granny, or dawg...the same thing! I am in no way travelling into Baltimore, put myself and my child at risk, that time of night to pick up anyone! Since they feel so strongly about him staying then, send him home with cab fare! Plus, why didn't Craig call himself...why are you playing 'Operator' with family members?

I don't mean to insult you, I know I don't know you and I am SO not trying to get into your business...but in the future let hubby know don't send no boddi fi duh his dutty work! He wants to ask you something...then HE should ask! You married a MAN, not a child!

And his Father and Auntie are dyam outta order! Dyam facety bunch!

my 2 cents...blessed- Gill

I've met Craig's brother...last May when I went down for the interview and hung out with him for 48 hours.....but still.....invitation in writing ???!!!!! What trying to save flippin 41 cents ???!! TOTAL FLIPPIN BS !!!

To defend all who have just had a wedding...not all of us do the "traditional etiqutte" thing and send out crazy amounts of invitations. And $.41 is a lot of money when its 150 invites, plus the additional stamp you have to put on the return card.....sooo....I'm not an etiquette person, I'm more practical and realistic, so paper invitations to everyone isnt very practical in the year 2007 to many brides. And tradition also shows that MOST people dont have the curtosey to respnd to your invitation anyway so it becomes a waste of money, and a tree. Many people are opting for a more "greener" approach to these things now. Not saying thats what happened here, but an invitation really means nothing to many brides.

Also if you don't know the bride or the groom(48 hrs doesnt count).....you really shouldnt expect a formal invitation from them....Craig probably got word of the wedding and chose not to or forgot to tell you so I would be on him about that not the bride and groom. Plus Craig is the GROOMS brother and we all know that the groom can be left out of the loop or not as detailed as the bride when it comes to a wedding. So the groom was probably supposed to give the bride all address from his side of the family for the invites and he just left you guys off. You see...there could be hundreds of reasons.

As far as why Craig didnt call vs his father well.....I think you know the answer to that one. It just seems like theres alot more to this story and I think you may know what that is.

[rhondapayter 0]

Hi everyone! How do you guys deal with having your man so far away? I'm missing mine so much. (And I've only been away from him for 6 days, lol.) Just looking for ideas that maybe I haven't tried yet.

Welcome to the Yardie thread My hubby is out-of-town for work right now so I feel your pain! Here are my suggestions: talk on the phone often - I know it's expensive, but it helps! Keep some pics of the two of you together nearby so you can look at them often. I don't know if he has internet access, but you could send e-mails or pm's. Steal a t-shirt or some other clothing from him and wear it to bed so you can smell his scent And you can always come on here and get support.