Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Mi know sey, mi aaa nuff a yu a nuh fren pon ya. But mek mi tell you someting. When you people a guh a Jamaica nuh buss yu head fi charter no airline fi carry sinting fi nobody. Most Jamaicans down there dont have any conscience. Everybody want dis and dat like sey yu a bill gates. From dem hear America dem start tink bout money and expensive clothes and boot. Let dem know seh farrin a no bed a rose, and life hard up here. Down there all when yu a 100 year old yu mumma still lef dinner fi yu and sleep and live free.

Vex if yu want, but mi know sey nuff a yu mother-in-law wouldn't luv yu if yu did live a Jamaica, dem only want if know seh dem pickney a get a buss and dem a benefit, when dem si unnu dem start show teeth an want hug up an boast pon dem neighbor bout dem daughter in law from America. Mi have sister to and mi nuh want si nobody tek her fi a ride. Some a you pon here a get used, as soon as as di man get di unconditional greencard, dawg naym some a unnu suppa, ole time gal or baby madda from Jamaica tek over. Save unnu strength fi dem days and nuh badda fi trace mi. Remember mi nuh seh all a unnu. It can be 1 out a every 5.

All who a seh who trace mi off nuh have no sense, mi try fi show respect, but mi jus love to talk the truth, so who dont like it...who cares, cause dis bway nuff fraid a no man, no gal, nowhere, no time.

Blessings.

Wow !..u really di come a better this time. And i do agree with u on the whole bringing stuff down for people. And the whole use thing to greencard happens to some and it's sad that u really have to watch out for it especially if u didn't know him/her from Jamaica..And while u are to be honest..u don't have to come off so harsh...

Well, the reality is, the subject is harsh no matter how you look at it. I agree that warning is a good thing to at least read. If there are signs, heed them. I know some who have been taken and it is not a pretty thing. Shame on anyone who uses someone like that.

I do think, though, that sometimes Jamaicans take a beating on this subject. Of course we hear about the bad ones, caused the devestated spouse shouts warnings in anger from the rooftops. But, those who are happily married, just move on to their daily busy lives and leave the internet and web sites like this behind. There are many, many happily married couples involving Jamaicans and visa, as well. We just don't hear about it.

So, while I believe in heeding warnings and listen carefully to other's stories, I also believe in trusting my own instincts all the same.

Shawn, I am glad to see you on here today. You have started a conversation and have interesting things to say in an appropriate manner. Thank you for that.

Right..but to get a point across u don't have to stomp on everyone involved..that's all...It is a VERY TOUGH subject...and people should follow their gut feeling....[/color]

I know what you are saying. I think my problem with the whole subject is people tend to lump all Jamaicans into this using us to get a green card lump. And, we all know that isn't true. It's easy to get mad at one group of people....say Jamaican men.....or, hell, yesterday, Jamaican MIL's.....

Agree I don't like lumping either...it's anyone from anywhere

and say they are all users and up to no good and all that. What we really mean is "in our experience, I've seen (heard) (experienced) (fill in the blank)" this. It just isn't always so easy to get it across to others.

When I read Shawn's posts or anyone else's on any subject, I look at them as having seen it through their eyes. I feel their anger, shame, hurt feelings, whatever they are trying to express, and I try to think what would I do in that situation? Sometimes I even think do I see any of those warning signs? Have I ever?

I'm strong and opinionated and I think for myself. So what anyone says on here may not make a bit of difference to me.

I'm the same way as well...I stand up for what I believe is true..not jump on the band wagon

But, I do appreciated everyone's opinions and I do heed the warnings. I don't think it's a bad thing to express all experiences and opinions, good or bad, nor to contemplate what they would mean in your own lives.

The glasses are all rosey before the visa is approved, and you are running on these elation fumes for a long time. Reality is not always so pleasent. It does not hurt to be forewarned on what MAY happen.

My glass was NEVER EVER rosey, before or after the visa was granted...I make sure when I make decisions I am in the best state of mind. And, as U, i do appreciate the sharinf of experiences even when it it not relevant to me...

Oh, come on, Kimmy....are you telling me everything has always gone as you expected it to go before, during, and after the process?

I know I was thrown for a loop a few times and I am anticipating a few more snags here and there. Things no one warned me about.

And, yah, that is what I'm saying. Even if it isn't relevant to me, the information someone shares may be important to someone else. Who am I to bash it then?

What kind of snag are we talkin....with my hubby or with the embassy ?

[waynegeraldine 0]

Listen mi, mi not fighting against nobody, but people stop living in self denial. Mi know alot a people whey only in dis ting only fi ketch a farrin, some even buy married. Mi did have one cousin who guh down fi guh meet dis man whey she claim she fall in love with, but is a good ting ting him did chatty chatty, him tell one a him friend seh is only a buss imma a look. One try it wid one a mi auntie to. investigate di person throughly, right now mi have a girlfriend in dis same mess.....man get him card, mek trouble wid har and gone......she alone haffi a pay fi di house and bills now. If yu even have pickney together, dat nuh hold man or woman. When dem guh back a Jamaica dem start boast seh dem have pickney a farrin.

Sometime ask yu self, look how nuff woman deh bout and dem nuh ready fi seckle down, until dem find a farrin woman dem propose same day.

Some a di same madda in law collect di money from yu husband....sometime a nuh fi har, a fi pay di work man dem whey a build him house down dere and yu nuh know.(di same mumma in law whey did a boast pon yu, di same one whey did a gaawn like she would a dead fi yu) And if yu bad yu guh down dere guh mek trouble, yu would get lick to yu weak or gunshot.

All mi a seh check out yu man or yu woman THROUGHLY, we Jamaicans can pretend fi years.

Ole people sey......Di man whey sh.T a road nuh memba it, but a di one whey step inna it.

The exact thing happened to my sister, I believe that this has caused me to have problems with my fiance in the past because I'm quick to see "signs" even where they do not exist...

On the other hand my cousin marry a woman here and she is doing everything the break up the marriage after ten years and he is trying tooth and nails to save it, because he loves his wife.

[waynegeraldine 0]

Listen mi, mi not fighting against nobody, but people stop living in self denial. Mi know alot a people whey only in dis ting only fi ketch a farrin, some even buy married. Mi did have one cousin who guh down fi guh meet dis man whey she claim she fall in love with, but is a good ting ting him did chatty chatty, him tell one a him friend seh is only a buss imma a look. One try it wid one a mi auntie to. investigate di person throughly, right now mi have a girlfriend in dis same mess.....man get him card, mek trouble wid har and gone......she alone haffi a pay fi di house and bills now. If yu even have pickney together, dat nuh hold man or woman. When dem guh back a Jamaica dem start boast seh dem have pickney a farrin.

Sometime ask yu self, look how nuff woman deh bout and dem nuh ready fi seckle down, until dem find a farrin woman dem propose same day.

Some a di same madda in law collect di money from yu husband....sometime a nuh fi har, a fi pay di work man dem whey a build him house down dere and yu nuh know.(di same mumma in law whey did a boast pon yu, di same one whey did a gaawn like she would a dead fi yu) And if yu bad yu guh down dere guh mek trouble, yu would get lick to yu weak or gunshot.

All mi a seh check out yu man or yu woman THROUGHLY, we Jamaicans can pretend fi years.

Ole people sey......Di man whey sh.T a road nuh memba it, but a di one whey step inna it.

The exact thing happened to my sister, I believe that this has caused me to have problems with my fiance in the past because I'm quick to see "signs" even where they do not exist...

On the other hand my cousin marry a woman here and she is doing everything the break up the marriage after ten years and he is trying tooth and nails to save it, because he loves his wife. He has never cheated on this woman and has not even considered going back to the baby mama he left in Jamaica, but this woman is obsessed with the fact that this baby mama is now in the states on a work program that she just make the man's life so miserable, he wants her, not the baby mama.

She hates his kid who lives with them and tries to do everything to get the kid sent back to Jamaica. I would have left her it it was me, but he say he loves his wife will not leave. There are different sides to many stories, there are also women here who Ill treat the men they take here and men do the same, two many dynamics and variables to lump everyone under one umbrella, a large percentage of marriages here and in Jamaica end in divorce, stuff happens.

The best actors can't pretend every day, you are stupid if can't figure out that someone is using you, some figure it out but they choose to stay nevertheless, whose fault is it when they get used?

[^KK^ 3]

Listen mi, mi not fighting against nobody, but people stop living in self denial. Mi know alot a people whey only in dis ting only fi ketch a farrin, some even buy married. Mi did have one cousin who guh down fi guh meet dis man whey she claim she fall in love with, but is a good ting ting him did chatty chatty, him tell one a him friend seh is only a buss imma a look. One try it wid one a mi auntie to. investigate di person throughly, right now mi have a girlfriend in dis same mess.....man get him card, mek trouble wid har and gone......she alone haffi a pay fi di house and bills now. If yu even have pickney together, dat nuh hold man or woman. When dem guh back a Jamaica dem start boast seh dem have pickney a farrin.

Sometime ask yu self, look how nuff woman deh bout and dem nuh ready fi seckle down, until dem find a farrin woman dem propose same day.

Some a di same madda in law collect di money from yu husband....sometime a nuh fi har, a fi pay di work man dem whey a build him house down dere and yu nuh know.(di same mumma in law whey did a boast pon yu, di same one whey did a gaawn like she would a dead fi yu) And if yu bad yu guh down dere guh mek trouble, yu would get lick to yu weak or gunshot.

All mi a seh check out yu man or yu woman THROUGHLY, we Jamaicans can pretend fi years.

Ole people sey......Di man whey sh.T a road nuh memba it, but a di one whey step inna it.

The exact thing happened to my sister, I believe that this has caused me to have problems with my fiance in the past because I'm quick to see "signs" even where they do not exist...

On the other hand my cousin marry a woman here and she is doing everything the break up the marriage after ten years and he is trying tooth and nails to save it, because he loves his wife. He has never cheated on this woman and has not even considered going back to the baby mama he left in Jamaica, but this woman is obsessed with the fact that this baby mama is now in the states on a work program that she just make the man's life so miserable, he wants her, not the baby mama.

She hates his kid who lives with them and tries to do everything to get the kid sent back to Jamaica. I would have left her it it was me, but he say he loves his wife will not leave. There are different sides to many stories, there are also women here who Ill treat the men they take here and men do the same, two many dynamics and variables to lump everyone under one umbrella, a large percentage of marriages here and in Jamaica end in divorce, stuff happens.

The best actors can't pretend every day, you are stupid if can't figure out that someone is using you, some figure it out but they choose to stay nevertheless, whose fault is it when they get used?

Preach Mr. Wayne

[*JG* 2]

Listen mi, mi not fighting against nobody, but people stop living in self denial. Mi know alot a people whey only in dis ting only fi ketch a farrin, some even buy married. Mi did have one cousin who guh down fi guh meet dis man whey she claim she fall in love with, but is a good ting ting him did chatty chatty, him tell one a him friend seh is only a buss imma a look. One try it wid one a mi auntie to. investigate di person throughly, right now mi have a girlfriend in dis same mess.....man get him card, mek trouble wid har and gone......she alone haffi a pay fi di house and bills now. If yu even have pickney together, dat nuh hold man or woman. When dem guh back a Jamaica dem start boast seh dem have pickney a farrin.

Sometime ask yu self, look how nuff woman deh bout and dem nuh ready fi seckle down, until dem find a farrin woman dem propose same day.

Some a di same madda in law collect di money from yu husband....sometime a nuh fi har, a fi pay di work man dem whey a build him house down dere and yu nuh know.(di same mumma in law whey did a boast pon yu, di same one whey did a gaawn like she would a dead fi yu) And if yu bad yu guh down dere guh mek trouble, yu would get lick to yu weak or gunshot.

All mi a seh check out yu man or yu woman THROUGHLY, we Jamaicans can pretend fi years.

Ole people sey......Di man whey sh.T a road nuh memba it, but a di one whey step inna it.

The exact thing happened to my sister, I believe that this has caused me to have problems with my fiance in the past because I'm quick to see "signs" even where they do not exist...

On the other hand my cousin marry a woman here and she is doing everything the break up the marriage after ten years and he is trying tooth and nails to save it, because he loves his wife. He has never cheated on this woman and has not even considered going back to the baby mama he left in Jamaica, but this woman is obsessed with the fact that this baby mama is now in the states on a work program that she just make the man's life so miserable, he wants her, not the baby mama.

She hates his kid who lives with them and tries to do everything to get the kid sent back to Jamaica. I would have left her it it was me, but he say he loves his wife will not leave. There are different sides to many stories, there are also women here who Ill treat the men they take here and men do the same, two many dynamics and variables to lump everyone under one umbrella, a large percentage of marriages here and in Jamaica end in divorce, stuff happens.

The best actors can't pretend every day, you are stupid if can't figure out that someone is using you, some figure it out but they choose to stay nevertheless, whose fault is it when they get used?

Absolutely.

I think there are always signs if someone was to pay attention.

If I think I see anything that could be a sign, even it is something convoluted in my head, I question my husband. Even if it is something as small as he drinks a beer before going to work. I question it if it bothers me. I don't sit back and imagine what is happening. I want an explanation. Same goes for him. It works well for us in keeping our communication open.

[nannygirl82 0]

OFF TOPIC!!! ( I still caan find deh likkle smiley wid the sign )

Has anyone heard the unedited version of Mavado's 'Squeeze Breast'? I only heard the 'radio' version, until this weekend!

Why did I grab his new CD this weekend and got the SHOCK OF MY LIFE! I had my boys in the car when I turned straight to 'Squeeze Breast'...OMG!! Mi nearly crash mi car I was trying fi turn it off...before the pickney cyatch on tuh what he was saying! Mi a press hevery damn button fi mek Mavado SHUT UP!!!!

Bwoy, 'im nuh leave NUTTIN tuh the imagination ATALL!!!! But, I do have to say it is a very good album...FOR ADULTS!!! I'll stick with the High School Musical 2-CD for the kiddies, in the future!

-Gill

mike loves that song....everytime i come home from work either movado or 50 cent

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Wow !..u really di come a better this time. And i do agree with u on the whole bringing stuff down for people. And the whole use thing to greencard happens to some and it's sad that u really have to watch out for it especially if u didn't know him/her from Jamaica..And while u are to be honest..u don't have to come off so harsh...

A lot of people nuh too wah hear di trut......Check yuh email, mi sen yuh a link!

I want a link too!

Lol..nooooooooo...was a link to my baby pics, she can't see the one in my sig lol!!

:lol:

[shawn99 0]

Listen mi, mi not fighting against nobody, but people stop living in self denial. Mi know alot a people whey only in dis ting only fi ketch a farrin, some even buy married. Mi did have one cousin who guh down fi guh meet dis man whey she claim she fall in love with, but is a good ting ting him did chatty chatty, him tell one a him friend seh is only a buss imma a look. One try it wid one a mi auntie to. investigate di person throughly, right now mi have a girlfriend in dis same mess.....man get him card, mek trouble wid har and gone......she alone haffi a pay fi di house and bills now. If yu even have pickney together, dat nuh hold man or woman. When dem guh back a Jamaica dem start boast seh dem have pickney a farrin.

Sometime ask yu self, look how nuff woman deh bout and dem nuh ready fi seckle down, until dem find a farrin woman dem propose same day.

Some a di same madda in law collect di money from yu husband....sometime a nuh fi har, a fi pay di work man dem whey a build him house down dere and yu nuh know.(di same mumma in law whey did a boast pon yu, di same one whey did a gaawn like she would a dead fi yu) And if yu bad yu guh down dere guh mek trouble, yu would get lick to yu weak or gunshot.

All mi a seh check out yu man or yu woman THROUGHLY, we Jamaicans can pretend fi years.

Ole people sey......Di man whey sh.T a road nuh memba it, but a di one whey step inna it.

The exact thing happened to my sister, I believe that this has caused me to have problems with my fiance in the past because I'm quick to see "signs" even where they do not exist...

On the other hand my cousin marry a woman here and she is doing everything the break up the marriage after ten years and he is trying tooth and nails to save it, because he loves his wife. He has never cheated on this woman and has not even considered going back to the baby mama he left in Jamaica, but this woman is obsessed with the fact that this baby mama is now in the states on a work program that she just make the man's life so miserable, he wants her, not the baby mama.

She hates his kid who lives with them and tries to do everything to get the kid sent back to Jamaica. I would have left her it it was me, but he say he loves his wife will not leave. There are different sides to many stories, there are also women here who Ill treat the men they take here and men do the same, two many dynamics and variables to lump everyone under one umbrella, a large percentage of marriages here and in Jamaica end in divorce, stuff happens.

The best actors can't pretend every day, you are stupid if can't figure out that someone is using you, some figure it out but they choose to stay nevertheless, whose fault is it when they get used?

Who is talking about LUMPING EVERYBODY, alot of you guys fail to understand a simple argument. This thing is really happening _ and thats a fact_ you cannot change a fact no matter what your opinion is. Opinion is what you think. It will not happen to everybody and we all know that. Geraldine that man is a idiot to stand up to that shi.t, I gues he wear the skirt, on the other hand. I PUT THIS QUESTION TO ANY LADY OR MAN ON HERE. ----- WOULDN'T YOU BE SORT OF WORRIED IF YOUR HUSBAND/WIFE BABY MOTHER/DADDY FIND HERSELF/HIMSELF IN THE U.S. NEAR TO YOUR HUSBAND/WIFE? Let me first answer though.....I WILL THE HELL ON THE LOOKOUT.

OLD FIRE STICK EASY FI KETCH....RIVER ALWAYS RE-RUN ITS COURSE

[*JG* 2]

Mi know sey, mi aaa nuff a yu a nuh fren pon ya. But mek mi tell you someting. When you people a guh a Jamaica nuh buss yu head fi charter no airline fi carry sinting fi nobody. Most Jamaicans down there dont have any conscience. Everybody want dis and dat like sey yu a bill gates. From dem hear America dem start tink bout money and expensive clothes and boot. Let dem know seh farrin a no bed a rose, and life hard up here. Down there all when yu a 100 year old yu mumma still lef dinner fi yu and sleep and live free.

Vex if yu want, but mi know sey nuff a yu mother-in-law wouldn't luv yu if yu did live a Jamaica, dem only want if know seh dem pickney a get a buss and dem a benefit, when dem si unnu dem start show teeth an want hug up an boast pon dem neighbor bout dem daughter in law from America. Mi have sister to and mi nuh want si nobody tek her fi a ride. Some a you pon here a get used, as soon as as di man get di unconditional greencard, dawg naym some a unnu suppa, ole time gal or baby madda from Jamaica tek over. Save unnu strength fi dem days and nuh badda fi trace mi. Remember mi nuh seh all a unnu. It can be 1 out a every 5.

All who a seh who trace mi off nuh have no sense, mi try fi show respect, but mi jus love to talk the truth, so who dont like it...who cares, cause dis bway nuff fraid a no man, no gal, nowhere, no time.

Blessings.

Wow !..u really di come a better this time. And i do agree with u on the whole bringing stuff down for people. And the whole use thing to greencard happens to some and it's sad that u really have to watch out for it especially if u didn't know him/her from Jamaica..And while u are to be honest..u don't have to come off so harsh...

Well, the reality is, the subject is harsh no matter how you look at it. I agree that warning is a good thing to at least read. If there are signs, heed them. I know some who have been taken and it is not a pretty thing. Shame on anyone who uses someone like that.

I do think, though, that sometimes Jamaicans take a beating on this subject. Of course we hear about the bad ones, caused the devestated spouse shouts warnings in anger from the rooftops. But, those who are happily married, just move on to their daily busy lives and leave the internet and web sites like this behind. There are many, many happily married couples involving Jamaicans and visa, as well. We just don't hear about it.

So, while I believe in heeding warnings and listen carefully to other's stories, I also believe in trusting my own instincts all the same.

Shawn, I am glad to see you on here today. You have started a conversation and have interesting things to say in an appropriate manner. Thank you for that.

Right..but to get a point across u don't have to stomp on everyone involved..that's all...It is a VERY TOUGH subject...and people should follow their gut feeling....[/color]

I know what you are saying. I think my problem with the whole subject is people tend to lump all Jamaicans into this using us to get a green card lump. And, we all know that isn't true. It's easy to get mad at one group of people....say Jamaican men.....or, hell, yesterday, Jamaican MIL's.....

Agree I don't like lumping either...it's anyone from anywhere

and say they are all users and up to no good and all that. What we really mean is "in our experience, I've seen (heard) (experienced) (fill in the blank)" this. It just isn't always so easy to get it across to others.

When I read Shawn's posts or anyone else's on any subject, I look at them as having seen it through their eyes. I feel their anger, shame, hurt feelings, whatever they are trying to express, and I try to think what would I do in that situation? Sometimes I even think do I see any of those warning signs? Have I ever?

I'm strong and opinionated and I think for myself. So what anyone says on here may not make a bit of difference to me.

I'm the same way as well...I stand up for what I believe is true..not jump on the band wagon

But, I do appreciated everyone's opinions and I do heed the warnings. I don't think it's a bad thing to express all experiences and opinions, good or bad, nor to contemplate what they would mean in your own lives.

The glasses are all rosey before the visa is approved, and you are running on these elation fumes for a long time. Reality is not always so pleasent. It does not hurt to be forewarned on what MAY happen.

My glass was NEVER EVER rosey, before or after the visa was granted...I make sure when I make decisions I am in the best state of mind. And, as U, i do appreciate the sharinf of experiences even when it it not relevant to me...

Oh, come on, Kimmy....are you telling me everything has always gone as you expected it to go before, during, and after the process?

I know I was thrown for a loop a few times and I am anticipating a few more snags here and there. Things no one warned me about.

And, yah, that is what I'm saying. Even if it isn't relevant to me, the information someone shares may be important to someone else. Who am I to bash it then?

What kind of snag are we talkin....with my hubby or with the embassy ?

Anything at all. Anything you consider a snag.

Whatever we considered in this whole process....from gathering paperwork and filing, to now daily life.....there have been snags. Some his fault. Some mine. Some the embassy. Some the great Lords of paperwork in their little cubicles somewhere in the U.S. or in some office in JA. What I anticipated was not what I got most times. And, while sometimes I was forewarned from reading others posts, not always. There were times I wish someone had discussed things I encountered and floundered through, continue to do, and will continue through.

Even today, while we try to keep some not so pleasant topics off this board so as not to offend the general public, there are some of discussions of problems that crop up via private communications. I know now that I am not alone in some of these issues. Issues that, while they do not threaten our marriages nor plans to spend the rest of our lives with our husbands, do cause frustrations.

So, if everything was and always is smooth sailing for you, then I'm happy for you. I'm learning to cope through the help of others as I have all along. And, I hope they will all continue to guide me.

[nannygirl82 0]

Mi know sey, mi aaa nuff a yu a nuh fren pon ya. But mek mi tell you someting. When you people a guh a Jamaica nuh buss yu head fi charter no airline fi carry sinting fi nobody. Most Jamaicans down there dont have any conscience. Everybody want dis and dat like sey yu a bill gates. From dem hear America dem start tink bout money and expensive clothes and boot. Let dem know seh farrin a no bed a rose, and life hard up here. Down there all when yu a 100 year old yu mumma still lef dinner fi yu and sleep and live free.

Vex if yu want, but mi know sey nuff a yu mother-in-law wouldn't luv yu if yu did live a Jamaica, dem only want if know seh dem pickney a get a buss and dem a benefit, when dem si unnu dem start show teeth an want hug up an boast pon dem neighbor bout dem daughter in law from America. Mi have sister to and mi nuh want si nobody tek her fi a ride. Some a you pon here a get used, as soon as as di man get di unconditional greencard, dawg naym some a unnu suppa, ole time gal or baby madda from Jamaica tek over. Save unnu strength fi dem days and nuh badda fi trace mi. Remember mi nuh seh all a unnu. It can be 1 out a every 5.

All who a seh who trace mi off nuh have no sense, mi try fi show respect, but mi jus love to talk the truth, so who dont like it...who cares, cause dis bway nuff fraid a no man, no gal, nowhere, no time.

Blessings.

Wow !..u really di come a better this time. And i do agree with u on the whole bringing stuff down for people. And the whole use thing to greencard happens to some and it's sad that u really have to watch out for it especially if u didn't know him/her from Jamaica..And while u are to be honest..u don't have to come off so harsh...

Well, the reality is, the subject is harsh no matter how you look at it. I agree that warning is a good thing to at least read. If there are signs, heed them. I know some who have been taken and it is not a pretty thing. Shame on anyone who uses someone like that.

I do think, though, that sometimes Jamaicans take a beating on this subject. Of course we hear about the bad ones, caused the devestated spouse shouts warnings in anger from the rooftops. But, those who are happily married, just move on to their daily busy lives and leave the internet and web sites like this behind. There are many, many happily married couples involving Jamaicans and visa, as well. We just don't hear about it.

So, while I believe in heeding warnings and listen carefully to other's stories, I also believe in trusting my own instincts all the same.

Shawn, I am glad to see you on here today. You have started a conversation and have interesting things to say in an appropriate manner. Thank you for that.

Right..but to get a point across u don't have to stomp on everyone involved..that's all...It is a VERY TOUGH subject...and people should follow their gut feeling....

I know what you are saying. I think my problem with the whole subject is people tend to lump all Jamaicans into this using us to get a green card lump. And, we all know that isn't true. It's easy to get mad at one group of people....say Jamaican men.....or, hell, yesterday, Jamaican MIL's.....and say they are all users and up to no good and all that. What we really mean is "in our experience, I've seen (heard) (experienced) (fill in the blank)" this. It just isn't always so easy to get it across to others.

When I read Shawn's posts or anyone else's on any subject, I look at them as having seen it through their eyes. I feel their anger, shame, hurt feelings, whatever they are trying to express, and I try to think what would I do in that situation? Sometimes I even think do I see any of those warning signs? Have I ever?

I'm strong and opinionated and I think for myself. So what anyone says on here may not make a bit of difference to me. But, I do appreciated everyone's opinions and I do heed the warnings. I don't think it's a bad thing to express all experiences and opinions, good or bad, nor to contemplate what they would mean in your own lives.

The glasses are all rosey before the visa is approved, and you are running on these elation fumes for a long time. Reality is not always so pleasent. It does not hurt to be forewarned on what MAY happen.

this is so true.....you are so excited to have them with you that you forget to stop and think about a lot of things....

[nannygirl82 0]

Mi know sey, mi aaa nuff a yu a nuh fren pon ya. But mek mi tell you someting. When you people a guh a Jamaica nuh buss yu head fi charter no airline fi carry sinting fi nobody. Most Jamaicans down there dont have any conscience. Everybody want dis and dat like sey yu a bill gates. From dem hear America dem start tink bout money and expensive clothes and boot. Let dem know seh farrin a no bed a rose, and life hard up here. Down there all when yu a 100 year old yu mumma still lef dinner fi yu and sleep and live free.

Vex if yu want, but mi know sey nuff a yu mother-in-law wouldn't luv yu if yu did live a Jamaica, dem only want if know seh dem pickney a get a buss and dem a benefit, when dem si unnu dem start show teeth an want hug up an boast pon dem neighbor bout dem daughter in law from America. Mi have sister to and mi nuh want si nobody tek her fi a ride. Some a you pon here a get used, as soon as as di man get di unconditional greencard, dawg naym some a unnu suppa, ole time gal or baby madda from Jamaica tek over. Save unnu strength fi dem days and nuh badda fi trace mi. Remember mi nuh seh all a unnu. It can be 1 out a every 5.

All who a seh who trace mi off nuh have no sense, mi try fi show respect, but mi jus love to talk the truth, so who dont like it...who cares, cause dis bway nuff fraid a no man, no gal, nowhere, no time.

Blessings.

Wow !..u really di come a better this time. And i do agree with u on the whole bringing stuff down for people. And the whole use thing to greencard happens to some and it's sad that u really have to watch out for it especially if u didn't know him/her from Jamaica..And while u are to be honest..u don't have to come off so harsh...

Well, the reality is, the subject is harsh no matter how you look at it. I agree that warning is a good thing to at least read. If there are signs, heed them. I know some who have been taken and it is not a pretty thing. Shame on anyone who uses someone like that.

I do think, though, that sometimes Jamaicans take a beating on this subject. Of course we hear about the bad ones, caused the devestated spouse shouts warnings in anger from the rooftops. But, those who are happily married, just move on to their daily busy lives and leave the internet and web sites like this behind. There are many, many happily married couples involving Jamaicans and visa, as well. We just don't hear about it.

So, while I believe in heeding warnings and listen carefully to other's stories, I also believe in trusting my own instincts all the same.

Shawn, I am glad to see you on here today. You have started a conversation and have interesting things to say in an appropriate manner. Thank you for that.

Right..but to get a point across u don't have to stomp on everyone involved..that's all...It is a VERY TOUGH subject...and people should follow their gut feeling....[/color]

I know what you are saying. I think my problem with the whole subject is people tend to lump all Jamaicans into this using us to get a green card lump. And, we all know that isn't true. It's easy to get mad at one group of people....say Jamaican men.....or, hell, yesterday, Jamaican MIL's.....

Agree I don't like lumping either...it's anyone from anywhere

and say they are all users and up to no good and all that. What we really mean is "in our experience, I've seen (heard) (experienced) (fill in the blank)" this. It just isn't always so easy to get it across to others.

When I read Shawn's posts or anyone else's on any subject, I look at them as having seen it through their eyes. I feel their anger, shame, hurt feelings, whatever they are trying to express, and I try to think what would I do in that situation? Sometimes I even think do I see any of those warning signs? Have I ever?

I'm strong and opinionated and I think for myself. So what anyone says on here may not make a bit of difference to me.

I'm the same way as well...I stand up for what I believe is true..not jump on the band wagon

But, I do appreciated everyone's opinions and I do heed the warnings. I don't think it's a bad thing to express all experiences and opinions, good or bad, nor to contemplate what they would mean in your own lives.

The glasses are all rosey before the visa is approved, and you are running on these elation fumes for a long time. Reality is not always so pleasent. It does not hurt to be forewarned on what MAY happen.

My glass was NEVER EVER rosey, before or after the visa was granted...I make sure when I make decisions I am in the best state of mind. And, as U, i do appreciate the sharinf of experiences even when it it not relevant to me...

Oh, come on, Kimmy....are you telling me everything has always gone as you expected it to go before, during, and after the process?

I know I was thrown for a loop a few times and I am anticipating a few more snags here and there. Things no one warned me about.

And, yah, that is what I'm saying. Even if it isn't relevant to me, the information someone shares may be important to someone else. Who am I to bash it then?

What kind of snag are we talkin....with my hubby or with the embassy ?

Anything at all. Anything you consider a snag.

Whatever we considered in this whole process....from gathering paperwork and filing, to now daily life.....there have been snags. Some his fault. Some mine. Some the embassy. Some the great Lords of paperwork in their little cubicles somewhere in the U.S. or in some office in JA. What I anticipated was not what I got most times. And, while sometimes I was forewarned from reading others posts, not always. There were times I wish someone had discussed things I encountered and floundered through, continue to do, and will continue through.

Even today, while we try to keep some not so pleasant topics off this board so as not to offend the general public, there are some of discussions of problems that crop up via private communications. I know now that I am not alone in some of these issues. Issues that, while they do not threaten our marriages nor plans to spend the rest of our lives with our husbands, do cause frustrations.

So, if everything was and always is smooth sailing for you, then I'm happy for you. I'm learning to cope through the help of others as I have all along. And, I hope they will all continue to guide me.

[*JG* 2]

Listen mi, mi not fighting against nobody, but people stop living in self denial. Mi know alot a people whey only in dis ting only fi ketch a farrin, some even buy married. Mi did have one cousin who guh down fi guh meet dis man whey she claim she fall in love with, but is a good ting ting him did chatty chatty, him tell one a him friend seh is only a buss imma a look. One try it wid one a mi auntie to. investigate di person throughly, right now mi have a girlfriend in dis same mess.....man get him card, mek trouble wid har and gone......she alone haffi a pay fi di house and bills now. If yu even have pickney together, dat nuh hold man or woman. When dem guh back a Jamaica dem start boast seh dem have pickney a farrin.

Sometime ask yu self, look how nuff woman deh bout and dem nuh ready fi seckle down, until dem find a farrin woman dem propose same day.

Some a di same madda in law collect di money from yu husband....sometime a nuh fi har, a fi pay di work man dem whey a build him house down dere and yu nuh know.(di same mumma in law whey did a boast pon yu, di same one whey did a gaawn like she would a dead fi yu) And if yu bad yu guh down dere guh mek trouble, yu would get lick to yu weak or gunshot.

All mi a seh check out yu man or yu woman THROUGHLY, we Jamaicans can pretend fi years.

Ole people sey......Di man whey sh.T a road nuh memba it, but a di one whey step inna it.

The exact thing happened to my sister, I believe that this has caused me to have problems with my fiance in the past because I'm quick to see "signs" even where they do not exist...

On the other hand my cousin marry a woman here and she is doing everything the break up the marriage after ten years and he is trying tooth and nails to save it, because he loves his wife. He has never cheated on this woman and has not even considered going back to the baby mama he left in Jamaica, but this woman is obsessed with the fact that this baby mama is now in the states on a work program that she just make the man's life so miserable, he wants her, not the baby mama.

She hates his kid who lives with them and tries to do everything to get the kid sent back to Jamaica. I would have left her it it was me, but he say he loves his wife will not leave. There are different sides to many stories, there are also women here who Ill treat the men they take here and men do the same, two many dynamics and variables to lump everyone under one umbrella, a large percentage of marriages here and in Jamaica end in divorce, stuff happens.

The best actors can't pretend every day, you are stupid if can't figure out that someone is using you, some figure it out but they choose to stay nevertheless, whose fault is it when they get used?

Who is talking about LUMPING EVERYBODY, alot of you guys fail to understand a simple argument. This thing is really happening _ and thats a fact_ you cannot change a fact no matter what your opinion is. Opinion is what you think. It will not happen to everybody and we all know that. Geraldine that man is a idiot to stand up to that shi.t, I gues he wear the skirt, on the other hand. I PUT THIS QUESTION TO ANY LADY OR MAN ON HERE. ----- WOULDN'T YOU BE SORT OF WORRIED IF YOUR HUSBAND/WIFE BABY MOTHER/DADDY FIND HERSELF/HIMSELF IN THE U.S. NEAR TO YOUR HUSBAND/WIFE? Let me first answer though.....I WILL THE HELL ON THE LOOKOUT.

OLD FIRE STICK EASY FI KETCH....RIVER ALWAYS RE-RUN ITS COURSE

I think I may not have read this right. Can you rephrase your question a little?

[luvtravlin 0]

Mi know sey, mi aaa nuff a yu a nuh fren pon ya. But mek mi tell you someting. When you people a guh a Jamaica nuh buss yu head fi charter no airline fi carry sinting fi nobody. Most Jamaicans down there dont have any conscience. Everybody want dis and dat like sey yu a bill gates. From dem hear America dem start tink bout money and expensive clothes and boot. Let dem know seh farrin a no bed a rose, and life hard up here. Down there all when yu a 100 year old yu mumma still lef dinner fi yu and sleep and live free.

Vex if yu want, but mi know sey nuff a yu mother-in-law wouldn't luv yu if yu did live a Jamaica, dem only want if know seh dem pickney a get a buss and dem a benefit, when dem si unnu dem start show teeth an want hug up an boast pon dem neighbor bout dem daughter in law from America. Mi have sister to and mi nuh want si nobody tek her fi a ride. Some a you pon here a get used, as soon as as di man get di unconditional greencard, dawg naym some a unnu suppa, ole time gal or baby madda from Jamaica tek over. Save unnu strength fi dem days and nuh badda fi trace mi. Remember mi nuh seh all a unnu. It can be 1 out a every 5.

All who a seh who trace mi off nuh have no sense, mi try fi show respect, but mi jus love to talk the truth, so who dont like it...who cares, cause dis bway nuff fraid a no man, no gal, nowhere, no time.

Blessings.

Wow !..u really di come a better this time. And i do agree with u on the whole bringing stuff down for people. And the whole use thing to greencard happens to some and it's sad that u really have to watch out for it especially if u didn't know him/her from Jamaica..And while u are to be honest..u don't have to come off so harsh...

Well, the reality is, the subject is harsh no matter how you look at it. I agree that warning is a good thing to at least read. If there are signs, heed them. I know some who have been taken and it is not a pretty thing. Shame on anyone who uses someone like that.

I do think, though, that sometimes Jamaicans take a beating on this subject. Of course we hear about the bad ones, caused the devestated spouse shouts warnings in anger from the rooftops. But, those who are happily married, just move on to their daily busy lives and leave the internet and web sites like this behind. There are many, many happily married couples involving Jamaicans and visa, as well. We just don't hear about it.

So, while I believe in heeding warnings and listen carefully to other's stories, I also believe in trusting my own instincts all the same.

Shawn, I am glad to see you on here today. You have started a conversation and have interesting things to say in an appropriate manner. Thank you for that.

Right..but to get a point across u don't have to stomp on everyone involved..that's all...It is a VERY TOUGH subject...and people should follow their gut feeling....[/color]

I know what you are saying. I think my problem with the whole subject is people tend to lump all Jamaicans into this using us to get a green card lump. And, we all know that isn't true. It's easy to get mad at one group of people....say Jamaican men.....or, hell, yesterday, Jamaican MIL's.....

Agree I don't like lumping either...it's anyone from anywhere

and say they are all users and up to no good and all that. What we really mean is "in our experience, I've seen (heard) (experienced) (fill in the blank)" this. It just isn't always so easy to get it across to others.

When I read Shawn's posts or anyone else's on any subject, I look at them as having seen it through their eyes. I feel their anger, shame, hurt feelings, whatever they are trying to express, and I try to think what would I do in that situation? Sometimes I even think do I see any of those warning signs? Have I ever?

I'm strong and opinionated and I think for myself. So what anyone says on here may not make a bit of difference to me.

I'm the same way as well...I stand up for what I believe is true..not jump on the band wagon

But, I do appreciated everyone's opinions and I do heed the warnings. I don't think it's a bad thing to express all experiences and opinions, good or bad, nor to contemplate what they would mean in your own lives.

The glasses are all rosey before the visa is approved, and you are running on these elation fumes for a long time. Reality is not always so pleasent. It does not hurt to be forewarned on what MAY happen.

My glass was NEVER EVER rosey, before or after the visa was granted...I make sure when I make decisions I am in the best state of mind. And, as U, i do appreciate the sharinf of experiences even when it it not relevant to me...

Oh, come on, Kimmy....are you telling me everything has always gone as you expected it to go before, during, and after the process?

I know I was thrown for a loop a few times and I am anticipating a few more snags here and there. Things no one warned me about.

And, yah, that is what I'm saying. Even if it isn't relevant to me, the information someone shares may be important to someone else. Who am I to bash it then?

What kind of snag are we talkin....with my hubby or with the embassy ?

Anything at all. Anything you consider a snag.

Whatever we considered in this whole process....from gathering paperwork and filing, to now daily life.....there have been snags. Some his fault. Some mine. Some the embassy. Some the great Lords of paperwork in their little cubicles somewhere in the U.S. or in some office in JA. What I anticipated was not what I got most times. And, while sometimes I was forewarned from reading others posts, not always. There were times I wish someone had discussed things I encountered and floundered through, continue to do, and will continue through.

Even today, while we try to keep some not so pleasant topics off this board so as not to offend the general public, there are some of discussions of problems that crop up via private communications. I know now that I am not alone in some of these issues. Issues that, while they do not threaten our marriages nor plans to spend the rest of our lives with our husbands, do cause frustrations.

So, if everything was and always is smooth sailing for you, then I'm happy for you. I'm learning to cope through the help of others as I have all along. And, I hope they will all continue to guide me.

Today's topic/conversation has been GREAT !!! Thank you Shawn !!!

I have a friend who has been separated for about a yr. She was with her JA man for 10 yrs before they got married, once they were married and a week before they were going to their interview for his GC.....WOW did you know what hit the fan. She found out LOADS of stuff in their marriage. "I" knew stuff, before she found out.....it was very crazy of a situation. If you met and hung out with him, you would never ever know he was THAT much of a scumbag criminal !!!!

[nannygirl82 0]

Listen mi, mi not fighting against nobody, but people stop living in self denial. Mi know alot a people whey only in dis ting only fi ketch a farrin, some even buy married. Mi did have one cousin who guh down fi guh meet dis man whey she claim she fall in love with, but is a good ting ting him did chatty chatty, him tell one a him friend seh is only a buss imma a look. One try it wid one a mi auntie to. investigate di person throughly, right now mi have a girlfriend in dis same mess.....man get him card, mek trouble wid har and gone......she alone haffi a pay fi di house and bills now. If yu even have pickney together, dat nuh hold man or woman. When dem guh back a Jamaica dem start boast seh dem have pickney a farrin.

Sometime ask yu self, look how nuff woman deh bout and dem nuh ready fi seckle down, until dem find a farrin woman dem propose same day.

Some a di same madda in law collect di money from yu husband....sometime a nuh fi har, a fi pay di work man dem whey a build him house down dere and yu nuh know.(di same mumma in law whey did a boast pon yu, di same one whey did a gaawn like she would a dead fi yu) And if yu bad yu guh down dere guh mek trouble, yu would get lick to yu weak or gunshot.

All mi a seh check out yu man or yu woman THROUGHLY, we Jamaicans can pretend fi years.

Ole people sey......Di man whey sh.T a road nuh memba it, but a di one whey step inna it.

The exact thing happened to my sister, I believe that this has caused me to have problems with my fiance in the past because I'm quick to see "signs" even where they do not exist...

On the other hand my cousin marry a woman here and she is doing everything the break up the marriage after ten years and he is trying tooth and nails to save it, because he loves his wife. He has never cheated on this woman and has not even considered going back to the baby mama he left in Jamaica, but this woman is obsessed with the fact that this baby mama is now in the states on a work program that she just make the man's life so miserable, he wants her, not the baby mama.

She hates his kid who lives with them and tries to do everything to get the kid sent back to Jamaica. I would have left her it it was me, but he say he loves his wife will not leave. There are different sides to many stories, there are also women here who Ill treat the men they take here and men do the same, two many dynamics and variables to lump everyone under one umbrella, a large percentage of marriages here and in Jamaica end in divorce, stuff happens.

The best actors can't pretend every day, you are stupid if can't figure out that someone is using you, some figure it out but they choose to stay nevertheless, whose fault is it when they get used?

Who is talking about LUMPING EVERYBODY, alot of you guys fail to understand a simple argument. This thing is really happening _ and thats a fact_ you cannot change a fact no matter what your opinion is. Opinion is what you think. It will not happen to everybody and we all know that. Geraldine that man is a idiot to stand up to that shi.t, I gues he wear the skirt, on the other hand. I PUT THIS QUESTION TO ANY LADY OR MAN ON HERE. ----- WOULDN'T YOU BE SORT OF WORRIED IF YOUR HUSBAND/WIFE BABY MOTHER/DADDY FIND HERSELF/HIMSELF IN THE U.S. NEAR TO YOUR HUSBAND/WIFE? Let me first answer though.....I WILL THE HELL ON THE LOOKOUT.

OLD FIRE STICK EASY FI KETCH....RIVER ALWAYS RE-RUN ITS COURSE

i think i would be worried and concerned....i get cautious when either a guy or gal happen to appear in the states...and maybe it is beause i have a hard time trusting people i don't know...but i think ok what is it that HE wants or how well does mike really know her....

[*JG* 2]

OK....Nanny....was Shawn saying a friend or relative, maybe even an ex, of your SO just appears in the states? Is that the warning? I'm still a little fuzzy on what is being said.

Crazy story, Kelly. I am saddened by it really. Since you knew, did you tell your friend anything or not? If not, why not?