Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[*JG* 2]

so when u all go and visit do u bring gifts for the entire family?

I stuck to only Christmas time and the start of school. Otherwise, it is a BAD habit to get into. In this case, I am speaking from my experience.

For birthdays, we threw them a little party.

GOOD IDEA BIRTHDAY, CHRISTMAS TIME OR ELSE THEY WILL BE LOOKING FOR STUFF EVERY TIME I VISIT

Yes. And, it could follow you forever...even from an ocean apart.

[USA-Jamaica 0]

Ok all...so we Finally went to go see my MIL...2wks ago..and BWOY she is something else. She is reminiscing about yrs ago from he was 10yrs old...I just said hello and kept it moving. She starts whispering, not saying it was about me but this is how rude she is. Then as we were leaving she is questioning him about us moving, and telling him "when i call u to come over just come" basicly no excuses. I over heard her telling him "oh mi soon caan see as much when u move" as if we are moving to washington. This lady drives me nuts. She he on his a** everywhere he turns. i hate to see her treat him like a child...Seriously I am gonna blow up, b4 I do do u guys have any suggestions on how I should bring this about to both of them..this has to be done wit all three of us. He says she will take things to heart and that's why he allows her to just do whatever. I told him, she knows exactly what she's doing..I CAN'T STAND IT..i told him that next time he can go by himself ..cause I can't deal

I don't know what the best way to handle this is...I know everytime I take issue with the way my fiance's mom babies him or treats him it's like WW 10!! A Jamaican man's relationship with his mother is a sensitive subject. I tread very lightly and it usually takes me days to figure out how to say things without it being such a problem.

I agree with Belly's Girl Try to limit your interaction with her for a while. If you explode your hubby will be put in the middle and I am willing to bet the MIL will act like the victim of the big bad daughter in law. We know he loves your dearly but it will be so hard for him if he has to chose sides.

Jenice

[12/11/2006 0]

Shonnie 2 more days huh..arrival...how ur stomach feeling..like finally !

I plan on going next month my friend tell me to stay at a hotel its much better but nope i am staying with my boo.

mixed feelings about both.....although i LOVED the a/c and warm water and little to no bugs and a pool...i really wanted to see how he lived and see without the extras how we can deal with things...like the bugs....water company cutting off his water...getting in a taxi....makes it a real adventure....

Exactly! The taxi thing in JA is a real adventure by itself. 7 people in a car and the fast driving....its crazy. We rented a car several times but when we had to take a taxi.....WHAT! i would tell the driver "just let me sit comfortably in the front and I will give you a tip because mi nuh wan no extra someone sit pon toppa mi!"

Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl, I'm shampooing carpets, cars and everything else. I have been on a massive clean mission. I am so excited that he is coming and to be honest at this point, I just want him to get here safe and sound. It has been a stressful ride and we talk about it over and over every single DAY. We just both want to be near each other. I am so tied up with everything. All he keeps saying is ya no mi not to fussy fussy, but I know a JA man...have enough of them in my family and most are clean freaks. I know that he is one so I just want to EASY him in.............and then break out with the real stuff...lol lol..

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Ok all...so we Finally went to go see my MIL...2wks ago..and BWOY she is something else. She is reminiscing about yrs ago from he was 10yrs old...I just said hello and kept it moving. She starts whispering, not saying it was about me but this is how rude she is. Then as we were leaving she is questioning him about us moving, and telling him "when i call u to come over just come" basicly no excuses. I over heard her telling him "oh mi soon caan see as much when u move" as if we are moving to washington. This lady drives me nuts. She he on his a** everywhere he turns. i hate to see her treat him like a child...Seriously I am gonna blow up, b4 I do do u guys have any suggestions on how I should bring this about to both of them..this has to be done wit all three of us. He says she will take things to heart and that's why he allows her to just do whatever. I told him, she knows exactly what she's doing..I CAN'T STAND IT..i told him that next time he can go by himself ..cause I can't deal

I don't know what the best way to handle this is...I know everytime I take issue with the way my fiance's mom babies him or treats him it's like WW 10!! A Jamaican man's relationship with his mother is a sensitive subject. I tread very lightly and it usually takes me days to figure out how to say things without it being such a problem.

I agree with Belly's Girl Try to limit your interaction with her for a while. If you explode your hubby will be put in the middle and I am willing to bet the MIL will act like the victim of the big bad daughter in law. We know he loves your dearly but it will be so hard for him if he has to chose sides.

Jenice

I know, that's why I told him he has to go by himself next time. But, why does it have to be the battle of the MIL and the DIL...why can't she respect us as a family, who does she think sh is pulling him to the side question him about us. I told him one thing "DON U EVER DISCUSS OUR AFFAIRS WITH UR MOTHER" my mother is the last person to question me about my marriage. If she does I limit my answers, cause u knwo what that is not ur problem now..u girls know what I'm saying

Shonnie 2 more days huh..arrival...how ur stomach feeling..like finally !

I plan on going next month my friend tell me to stay at a hotel its much better but nope i am staying with my boo.

mixed feelings about both.....although i LOVED the a/c and warm water and little to no bugs and a pool...i really wanted to see how he lived and see without the extras how we can deal with things...like the bugs....water company cutting off his water...getting in a taxi....makes it a real adventure....

Exactly! The taxi thing in JA is a real adventure by itself. 7 people in a car and the fast driving....its crazy. We rented a car several times but when we had to take a taxi.....WHAT! i would tell the driver "just let me sit comfortably in the front and I will give you a tip because mi nuh wan no extra someone sit pon toppa mi!"

Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl, I'm shampooing carpets, cars and everything else. I have been on a massive clean mission. I am so excited that he is coming and to be honest at this point, I just want him to get here safe and sound. It has been a stressful ride and we talk about it over and over every single DAY. We just both want to be near each other. I am so tied up with everything. All he keeps saying is ya no mi not to fussy fussy, but I know a JA man...have enough of them in my family and most are clean freaks. I know that he is one so I just want to EASY him in.............and then break out with the real stuff...lol lol..

I am rolling..heheheee...u know it

[*JG* 2]

Ok all...so we Finally went to go see my MIL...2wks ago..and BWOY she is something else. She is reminiscing about yrs ago from he was 10yrs old...I just said hello and kept it moving. She starts whispering, not saying it was about me but this is how rude she is. Then as we were leaving she is questioning him about us moving, and telling him "when i call u to come over just come" basicly no excuses. I over heard her telling him "oh mi soon caan see as much when u move" as if we are moving to washington. This lady drives me nuts. She he on his a** everywhere he turns. i hate to see her treat him like a child...Seriously I am gonna blow up, b4 I do do u guys have any suggestions on how I should bring this about to both of them..this has to be done wit all three of us. He says she will take things to heart and that's why he allows her to just do whatever. I told him, she knows exactly what she's doing..I CAN'T STAND IT..i told him that next time he can go by himself ..cause I can't deal

I don't know what the best way to handle this is...I know everytime I take issue with the way my fiance's mom babies him or treats him it's like WW 10!! A Jamaican man's relationship with his mother is a sensitive subject. I tread very lightly and it usually takes me days to figure out how to say things without it being such a problem.

Thank's girl...but why do I have to tread light and I am his freaking wife..as if that means nothing to her. Almost as if she expects him to do things w/o my knowledge..as if I'm just some freaking girl.i GUESS I'm just venting...He needs to get it 1st..if he allows her to continue, then she won't change....

I don't tread lightly. I say how I feel. My MIL may be playing games; but I do not. I will not lie or try to play him to get what I want. And, I do point it out when she is doing that.

What I have found works best for me is to tell him exactly what I am thinking when I make some comment. For instance, his mom calls and wants money for something. If we don't have it, I tell him flat out, we don't have it. If we have some earmarked for something else, I say "well, you can't get that (whatever) you were eyeing" or "well, we can't go to the movies" or "we won't be able to have that oil change now" or whatver. Whatever is the truth. I've even said I don't like that she now calls every 2 weeks or I don't like doing this cause now she will expect it and you know we can't always do this. We've caught her in lies to play us and I really go off then.

I've gone so far as to tell him if she called that night, after we had a disappointing day, that I would take his cell phone outside and mash it up. (He took the battery out of the phone one night that I said that! )

Anyhow, my point is that I have found honesty is the best policy. If you don't tell him exactly what you are thinking, he can use that as an excuse against you later on. If you tell him, he can never claim he did not know.

Ok all...so we Finally went to go see my MIL...2wks ago..and BWOY she is something else. She is reminiscing about yrs ago from he was 10yrs old...I just said hello and kept it moving. She starts whispering, not saying it was about me but this is how rude she is. Then as we were leaving she is questioning him about us moving, and telling him "when i call u to come over just come" basicly no excuses. I over heard her telling him "oh mi soon caan see as much when u move" as if we are moving to washington. This lady drives me nuts. She he on his a** everywhere he turns. i hate to see her treat him like a child...Seriously I am gonna blow up, b4 I do do u guys have any suggestions on how I should bring this about to both of them..this has to be done wit all three of us. He says she will take things to heart and that's why he allows her to just do whatever. I told him, she knows exactly what she's doing..I CAN'T STAND IT..i told him that next time he can go by himself ..cause I can't deal

I don't know what the best way to handle this is...I know everytime I take issue with the way my fiance's mom babies him or treats him it's like WW 10!! A Jamaican man's relationship with his mother is a sensitive subject. I tread very lightly and it usually takes me days to figure out how to say things without it being such a problem.

I agree with Belly's Girl Try to limit your interaction with her for a while. If you explode your hubby will be put in the middle and I am willing to bet the MIL will act like the victim of the big bad daughter in law. We know he loves your dearly but it will be so hard for him if he has to chose sides.

Jenice

While that might work for some, it is not for me. People will play you if you let them.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

I know Jomo.. I feel the same way. But his thing is that she will go into deep thought and stress herself. Like it ticked me off when she said "just come" as if he has no baggage or obligations. I am just gonna tell them both straight...

[12/11/2006 0]

Ok all...so we Finally went to go see my MIL...2wks ago..and BWOY she is something else. She is reminiscing about yrs ago from he was 10yrs old...I just said hello and kept it moving. She starts whispering, not saying it was about me but this is how rude she is. Then as we were leaving she is questioning him about us moving, and telling him "when i call u to come over just come" basicly no excuses. I over heard her telling him "oh mi soon caan see as much when u move" as if we are moving to washington. This lady drives me nuts. She he on his a** everywhere he turns. i hate to see her treat him like a child...Seriously I am gonna blow up, b4 I do do u guys have any suggestions on how I should bring this about to both of them..this has to be done wit all three of us. He says she will take things to heart and that's why he allows her to just do whatever. I told him, she knows exactly what she's doing..I CAN'T STAND IT..i told him that next time he can go by himself ..cause I can't deal

I don't know what the best way to handle this is...I know everytime I take issue with the way my fiance's mom babies him or treats him it's like WW 10!! A Jamaican man's relationship with his mother is a sensitive subject. I tread very lightly and it usually takes me days to figure out how to say things without it being such a problem.

I agree with Belly's Girl Try to limit your interaction with her for a while. If you explode your hubby will be put in the middle and I am willing to bet the MIL will act like the victim of the big bad daughter in law. We know he loves your dearly but it will be so hard for him if he has to chose sides.

Jenice

Yeah you might want to try and limit your interaction with her but its going to get to a point where you just can't take it anymore and you are going to have to put her in place. I know she is the MIL but wife comes first and she knows it and thats why she is trying so hard to define her position. She is still going to call the house and still question things about you which you will hear about. So even when you try to limit your interaction she will not disappear and neither will you. But the whispering is a no no!!! I know my mouth and I would have to say something to her because that is just rude. I'm not encouraging you to but respect is respect. Don't make him feel like he is in the middle but I know one thing, he is never going to check her the way she deserves to be checked. Thats just men. Most of them think that we just blow things out of proportion. So, tek time with her for now.

[SweetSugahDumplin 0]

Ok all...so we Finally went to go see my MIL...2wks ago..and BWOY she is something else. She is reminiscing about yrs ago from he was 10yrs old...I just said hello and kept it moving. She starts whispering, not saying it was about me but this is how rude she is. Then as we were leaving she is questioning him about us moving, and telling him "when i call u to come over just come" basicly no excuses. I over heard her telling him "oh mi soon caan see as much when u move" as if we are moving to washington. This lady drives me nuts. She he on his a** everywhere he turns. i hate to see her treat him like a child...Seriously I am gonna blow up, b4 I do do u guys have any suggestions on how I should bring this about to both of them..this has to be done wit all three of us. He says she will take things to heart and that's why he allows her to just do whatever. I told him, she knows exactly what she's doing..I CAN'T STAND IT..i told him that next time he can go by himself ..cause I can't deal

I don't know what the best way to handle this is...I know everytime I take issue with the way my fiance's mom babies him or treats him it's like WW 10!! A Jamaican man's relationship with his mother is a sensitive subject. I tread very lightly and it usually takes me days to figure out how to say things without it being such a problem.

Thank's girl...but why do I have to tread light and I am his freaking wife..as if that means nothing to her. Almost as if she expects him to do things w/o my knowledge..as if I'm just some freaking girl.i GUESS I'm just venting...He needs to get it 1st..if he allows her to continue, then she won't change....

My fiance mom do not talk!! she says hello with a little smile thats IT. She once ask if i ever had pig feet before! cuz i was tearin hers up that she cooked lol i added vingegar they all laughed at me this lady is quiet as a church mouse

[*JG* 2]

Ok all...so we Finally went to go see my MIL...2wks ago..and BWOY she is something else. She is reminiscing about yrs ago from he was 10yrs old...I just said hello and kept it moving. She starts whispering, not saying it was about me but this is how rude she is. Then as we were leaving she is questioning him about us moving, and telling him "when i call u to come over just come" basicly no excuses. I over heard her telling him "oh mi soon caan see as much when u move" as if we are moving to washington. This lady drives me nuts. She he on his a** everywhere he turns. i hate to see her treat him like a child...Seriously I am gonna blow up, b4 I do do u guys have any suggestions on how I should bring this about to both of them..this has to be done wit all three of us. He says she will take things to heart and that's why he allows her to just do whatever. I told him, she knows exactly what she's doing..I CAN'T STAND IT..i told him that next time he can go by himself ..cause I can't deal

I don't know what the best way to handle this is...I know everytime I take issue with the way my fiance's mom babies him or treats him it's like WW 10!! A Jamaican man's relationship with his mother is a sensitive subject. I tread very lightly and it usually takes me days to figure out how to say things without it being such a problem.

Thank's girl...but why do I have to tread light and I am his freaking wife..as if that means nothing to her. Almost as if she expects him to do things w/o my knowledge..as if I'm just some freaking girl.i GUESS I'm just venting...He needs to get it 1st..if he allows her to continue, then she won't change....

My fiance mom do not talk!! she says hello with a little smile thats IT. She once ask if i ever had pig feet before! cuz i was tearin hers up that she cooked lol i added vingegar they all laughed at me this lady is quiet as a church mouse

Wanna trade??????

MIL's I mean. I'll be keeping her son!

[*JG* 2]

I know Jomo.. I feel the same way. But his thing is that she will go into deep thought and stress herself. Like it ticked me off when she said "just come" as if he has no baggage or obligations. I am just gonna tell them both straight...

That's it exactly. You have to set them both straight. Let them know what you are thinking and feeling.

You made me smile at the deep thought and stress herself comment. Yah, I went through that with my MIL in Jamaica. It also included knives, a near hanging of a child, a burning mattress, and eventual hospital visit. He hasn't fallen for that since.

[SweetSugahDumplin 0]

Ok all...so we Finally went to go see my MIL...2wks ago..and BWOY she is something else. She is reminiscing about yrs ago from he was 10yrs old...I just said hello and kept it moving. She starts whispering, not saying it was about me but this is how rude she is. Then as we were leaving she is questioning him about us moving, and telling him "when i call u to come over just come" basicly no excuses. I over heard her telling him "oh mi soon caan see as much when u move" as if we are moving to washington. This lady drives me nuts. She he on his a** everywhere he turns. i hate to see her treat him like a child...Seriously I am gonna blow up, b4 I do do u guys have any suggestions on how I should bring this about to both of them..this has to be done wit all three of us. He says she will take things to heart and that's why he allows her to just do whatever. I told him, she knows exactly what she's doing..I CAN'T STAND IT..i told him that next time he can go by himself ..cause I can't deal

I don't know what the best way to handle this is...I know everytime I take issue with the way my fiance's mom babies him or treats him it's like WW 10!! A Jamaican man's relationship with his mother is a sensitive subject. I tread very lightly and it usually takes me days to figure out how to say things without it being such a problem.

Thank's girl...but why do I have to tread light and I am his freaking wife..as if that means nothing to her. Almost as if she expects him to do things w/o my knowledge..as if I'm just some freaking girl.i GUESS I'm just venting...He needs to get it 1st..if he allows her to continue, then she won't change....

My fiance mom do not talk!! she says hello with a little smile thats IT. She once ask if i ever had pig feet before! cuz i was tearin hers up that she cooked lol i added vingegar they all laughed at me this lady is quiet as a church mouse

Wanna trade??????

MIL's I mean. I'll be keeping her son!

im wondering how things will be once he gets here and what will happen with his family....hes very much depended on for everything hes the go to man and what will be when he leaves uh oh....also MILs should have a certain level of respect for the wife and realize son is grown A man with a family Wife comes first after u get married not Mom.

[Marlita 0]

I plan on going next month my friend tell me to stay at a hotel its much better but nope i am staying with my boo.

mixed feelings about both.....although i LOVED the a/c and warm water and little to no bugs and a pool...i really wanted to see how he lived and see without the extras how we can deal with things...like the bugs....water company cutting off his water...getting in a taxi....makes it a real adventure....

Exactly! The taxi thing in JA is a real adventure by itself. 7 people in a car and the fast driving....its crazy. We rented a car several times but when we had to take a taxi.....WHAT! i would tell the driver "just let me sit comfortably in the front and I will give you a tip because mi nuh wan no extra someone sit pon toppa mi!"

I remember these days. When I stayed in JA I took the route Taxis EVERYWHERE. It was a priveledge to ride in somebodys personal car. An the route shuttle vans....OMG! They pak about 20+ people in what only holds 16. I realize Jamaicans have no problem with sharing their personal space. One time I'm in the back of a car and the drivah starts yelling about put di baby inn yuh lap, but it wasnt even MY baby!! What inthe world?! You be riding around with other peoples children in ya lap, and dont nobody care.

[12/11/2006 0]

Ok all...so we Finally went to go see my MIL...2wks ago..and BWOY she is something else. She is reminiscing about yrs ago from he was 10yrs old...I just said hello and kept it moving. She starts whispering, not saying it was about me but this is how rude she is. Then as we were leaving she is questioning him about us moving, and telling him "when i call u to come over just come" basicly no excuses. I over heard her telling him "oh mi soon caan see as much when u move" as if we are moving to washington. This lady drives me nuts. She he on his a** everywhere he turns. i hate to see her treat him like a child...Seriously I am gonna blow up, b4 I do do u guys have any suggestions on how I should bring this about to both of them..this has to be done wit all three of us. He says she will take things to heart and that's why he allows her to just do whatever. I told him, she knows exactly what she's doing..I CAN'T STAND IT..i told him that next time he can go by himself ..cause I can't deal

I don't know what the best way to handle this is...I know everytime I take issue with the way my fiance's mom babies him or treats him it's like WW 10!! A Jamaican man's relationship with his mother is a sensitive subject. I tread very lightly and it usually takes me days to figure out how to say things without it being such a problem.

Thank's girl...but why do I have to tread light and I am his freaking wife..as if that means nothing to her. Almost as if she expects him to do things w/o my knowledge..as if I'm just some freaking girl.i GUESS I'm just venting...He needs to get it 1st..if he allows her to continue, then she won't change....

My fiance mom do not talk!! she says hello with a little smile thats IT. She once ask if i ever had pig feet before! cuz i was tearin hers up that she cooked lol i added vingegar they all laughed at me this lady is quiet as a church mouse

Wanna trade??????

MIL's I mean. I'll be keeping her son!

im wondering how things will be once he gets here and what will happen with his family....hes very much depended on for everything hes the go to man and what will be when he leaves uh oh....also MILs should have a certain level of respect for the wife and realize son is grown A man with a family Wife comes first after u get married not Mom.

Those are the same worries that I have. He is at home trying to get everything set up before he leaves because he won't be back for awhile. His father told him to stay a here awhile and get himself together but I know that he is going to miss his family very much. This is why I have been saving to get the paperwork completed so that he will be able to travel soon. He is definitely the go to man at home so this transition will difficult.

[12/11/2006 0]

I plan on going next month my friend tell me to stay at a hotel its much better but nope i am staying with my boo.

mixed feelings about both.....although i LOVED the a/c and warm water and little to no bugs and a pool...i really wanted to see how he lived and see without the extras how we can deal with things...like the bugs....water company cutting off his water...getting in a taxi....makes it a real adventure....

Exactly! The taxi thing in JA is a real adventure by itself. 7 people in a car and the fast driving....its crazy. We rented a car several times but when we had to take a taxi.....WHAT! i would tell the driver "just let me sit comfortably in the front and I will give you a tip because mi nuh wan no extra someone sit pon toppa mi!"

I remember these days. When I stayed in JA I took the route Taxis EVERYWHERE. It was a priveledge to ride in somebodys personal car. An the route shuttle vans....OMG! They pak about 20+ people in what only holds 16. I realize Jamaicans have no problem with sharing their personal space. One time I'm in the back of a car and the drivah starts yelling about put di baby inn yuh lap, but it wasnt even MY baby!! What inthe world?! You be riding around with other peoples children in ya lap, and dont nobody care.

LMAO.......right! A little girl in front between me and the driver..one leg on the driver side and one on mine side..........But WAIT...she has on her school dress!!!

[SweetSugahDumplin 0]

I plan on going next month my friend tell me to stay at a hotel its much better but nope i am staying with my boo.

mixed feelings about both.....although i LOVED the a/c and warm water and little to no bugs and a pool...i really wanted to see how he lived and see without the extras how we can deal with things...like the bugs....water company cutting off his water...getting in a taxi....makes it a real adventure....

Exactly! The taxi thing in JA is a real adventure by itself. 7 people in a car and the fast driving....its crazy. We rented a car several times but when we had to take a taxi.....WHAT! i would tell the driver "just let me sit comfortably in the front and I will give you a tip because mi nuh wan no extra someone sit pon toppa mi!"

I remember these days. When I stayed in JA I took the route Taxis EVERYWHERE. It was a priveledge to ride in somebodys personal car. An the route shuttle vans....OMG! They pak about 20+ people in what only holds 16. I realize Jamaicans have no problem with sharing their personal space. One time I'm in the back of a car and the drivah starts yelling about put di baby inn yuh lap, but it wasnt even MY baby!! What inthe world?! You be riding around with other peoples children in ya lap, and dont nobody care.

LMAO.......right! A little girl in front between me and the driver..one leg on the driver side and one on mine side..........But WAIT...she has on her school dress!!!

hehe seems we were all on same van lol they they will add a piece of board to connect seats and make a new seat ride was only 80 dollars that was lookin good to me! we were on there with our groceries a drunk old man makin the van laugh with his jokes and singing, school kids etc then theres a man to collect money and close and open the door