Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[BelwinMills 0]

Baby List:

Rhonda

Jax

Jonesie

Elizabeth

Lurissa

Sarah

Mindy

Shemanya

Squitto

Shauna

Anna

Dee

I am pretty sure the rest of your post got cut off Are you making an official announcement?!?

So what is the news you put yourself on the top and before you never wanted to be at the top so I am guessing you have a little bun in the oven. Congrats Rhonda. When did you find out? Do you know your due date?

Is this the right gossip??

All the best Rhonda!!!

[BelwinMills 0]

You ladies are very strong and I applaud you for your strength. It's just not something I could do. If I thought my SO, whether BF, fiance, or spouse and whether in JA or USA was cheating, I would not be as nice as you all are being.

Here Here to that! I thought it was just me that was thinking the 'let it slide' comments were a little bit weird! Why would I want to marry someone that was cheating on me from the BEGINNING of our relationship. Do I think I can't get any better? Do I not deserve any better? Do I allow it just cause he's in another country?

I don't understand this logic. I know that people cheat in relationships all the time, but I have never known of som many people who are turning a blind eye on it so easily. What is that all about? No wonder the men get to the US and see all these hot ladies and think its OK to "have friends", you were letting him do it to you before you were even married to one another. SO basically you married a scoundrel of a man, and you knew it, and then you get upset that he's still a scoundrel after you've paid all this money and dedicated all this time to get him here in the US with you.

Does anyone else not see a problem with this here! As a person looking in from the inside, I can see so many red flags in some of these relationships, it absolutely ridiculous.

I don't mean to offend anyone, but some of these comments were just sooo shocking to me. They just blew my mind! WOW!!

ok i never said he was doing this before we married....this happend 2 months into our marriage....and yes i have every reason to be upset....was he doing this to me in Jamaica...well i have no real way of knowing...does anyone???

i never said i was going to let it go..

I was the one who said I thought something was going on before we were married.....I had no proof. I just assumed. It wasn't like I could jump in my car and stalk him to see what he was doing when I was not there. So, I did what I had to do to get through the time we spent apart -- I assumed the worst, hoped for the best and got on with my life. Ya see, I am a VERY jealous person -- always have been, always will be. I accept that and so does he. The strength of our relationship (hopefully) will continue to get us through any tough times that we might encounter. That's really all you can hope for......

I am not turning a blind eye. I do not believe any of the girls who post here in this forum are. I think everyone just needs to understand that every person is different, every relationship is different and everyone has different experiences......we are all here to try to help each other -- not tell each other how stupid we think they are....we are suppose to be a support system. I'm not here to judge what someone else chooses to do in their relationship and I hope nobody is going to judge me.

It's getting a little too heated in here for me -- I'm gonna be taking a break from you guys for a while. I get too emotional when I see people bashing and attacking each other and I don't want it to have an adverse effect on my own relationship. Squitto got this whole thing started so we all had a place to go to support each other and that's exactly what this used to be one big happy family of support -- for some reason it has gotten really ugly lately.

There used to be a time where if you had a problem you could post it here and everyone would offer suggestions to try to help you out. It doesn't seem like that is happening here anymore. People are getting a bit too judgemental for me. I might not agree with the choices that you have made but I will be more than happy to offer suggestions -- not say how stupid I think you are. When things like that start happening it tends to make it ugly for everyone.

I wish you all the best of luck and hope all of you have long, happy <and PROBLEM FREE> marriages

Mindy I totally understand. I use to come on here for support but it is so depressing. I don't think reading all this bashing is good. That is why I said I am sad reading this forum a post back or 2 because I am a very happy person and love life. I don't like dealing with drama. You will be missed on here !! I know when my husband arrives here I will be taking a break from this forum on VJ because it could play with my mind.

The things I am grateful for is my husband, family, friends, a hot meal, a bath, and shelter over my head. Some people don't have these things in life. I look back at my life and say it was blessing and I have the best one for me

[BelwinMills 0]

Anways I just had to get because reading a lot of these post were making me sad in away.

I just saw this online and thought it was a great positive quiz. Take if you like.

The Question is Are you Satisfied with life? Some seem so happy here and some seem not so satisfied .

Score each one from number 1 through 7. 1 being the least satisfied and 7 being the most satisfied.

1. In most ways, my life is close to ideal.

2. The conditions of my life are excellent.

3. I am satisfied with my life.

4. So far I have gotten the important things I want

5. If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing.

If you scored 15 or under, you are dissatisfied with your life. If you scored 31 or higher, you are extremely satisfied with your life.

If you scored somewhere in the middle, happiness expert Dr. Robert Holden has some advice on how to live a more satisfying life. Dr. Holden says the key to being happy is overcoming "destination addiction," which he defines as "living in the not-now."

"It's always about tomorrow, so you're chasing 'more,' 'next' and 'there,'" he says. "You promise yourself that when you get there, you'll be happy. And I promise you, you won't, because you'll always set another destination to go for."

Instead, Dr. Holden says if you are unhappy with your life or looking to improve your score, there are two things you can do. "We have to learn to let go of our past, we have to give up all hopes for a perfect past. Let the past go, it's gone." After that, he says, "Take a vow of kindness. Be kinder to yourself and to others.

"It's never too late to be happy," he says.

I scored a 32

I liked this. I scored a 31.

I had a time not so long off, when I was feeling completely unsatisfied, and if most things in my life were pointless. One thing that helped me was my journey to seeking God, the book of Ecclesiates, and my trips to jamaica. Now I feel as though there is nothing happening in my life without reason.

I feel the same. 7 years ago my life was not the same and now I look at the positives. I stay away from negative people in my life and always count my blessings. I understand a bout seeking something and it makes you feel blessed.

[nyseness 0]

You ladies are very strong and I applaud you for your strength. It's just not something I could do. If I thought my SO, whether BF, fiance, or spouse and whether in JA or USA was cheating, I would not be as nice as you all are being.

Here Here to that! I thought it was just me that was thinking the 'let it slide' comments were a little bit weird! Why would I want to marry someone that was cheating on me from the BEGINNING of our relationship. Do I think I can't get any better? Do I not deserve any better? Do I allow it just cause he's in another country?

I don't understand this logic. I know that people cheat in relationships all the time, but I have never known of som many people who are turning a blind eye on it so easily. What is that all about? No wonder the men get to the US and see all these hot ladies and think its OK to "have friends", you were letting him do it to you before you were even married to one another. SO basically you married a scoundrel of a man, and you knew it, and then you get upset that he's still a scoundrel after you've paid all this money and dedicated all this time to get him here in the US with you.

Does anyone else not see a problem with this here! As a person looking in from the inside, I can see so many red flags in some of these relationships, it absolutely ridiculous.

I don't mean to offend anyone, but some of these comments were just sooo shocking to me. They just blew my mind! WOW!!

ok i never said he was doing this before we married....this happend 2 months into our marriage....and yes i have every reason to be upset....was he doing this to me in Jamaica...well i have no real way of knowing...does anyone???

i never said i was going to let it go..

I was the one who said I thought something was going on before we were married.....I had no proof. I just assumed. It wasn't like I could jump in my car and stalk him to see what he was doing when I was not there. So, I did what I had to do to get through the time we spent apart -- I assumed the worst, hoped for the best and got on with my life. Ya see, I am a VERY jealous person -- always have been, always will be. I accept that and so does he. The strength of our relationship (hopefully) will continue to get us through any tough times that we might encounter. That's really all you can hope for......

I am not turning a blind eye. I do not believe any of the girls who post here in this forum are. I think everyone just needs to understand that every person is different, every relationship is different and everyone has different experiences......we are all here to try to help each other -- not tell each other how stupid we think they are....we are suppose to be a support system. I'm not here to judge what someone else chooses to do in their relationship and I hope nobody is going to judge me.

It's getting a little too heated in here for me -- I'm gonna be taking a break from you guys for a while. I get too emotional when I see people bashing and attacking each other and I don't want it to have an adverse effect on my own relationship. Squitto got this whole thing started so we all had a place to go to support each other and that's exactly what this used to be one big happy family of support -- for some reason it has gotten really ugly lately.

There used to be a time where if you had a problem you could post it here and everyone would offer suggestions to try to help you out. It doesn't seem like that is happening here anymore. People are getting a bit too judgemental for me. I might not agree with the choices that you have made but I will be more than happy to offer suggestions -- not say how stupid I think you are. When things like that start happening it tends to make it ugly for everyone.

I wish you all the best of luck and hope all of you have long, happy <and PROBLEM FREE> marriages

Mindy I totally understand. I use to come on here for support but it is so depressing. I don't think reading all this bashing is good. That is why I said I am sad reading this forum a post back or 2 because I am a very happy person and love life. I don't like dealing with drama. You will be missed on here !! I know when my husband arrives here I will be taking a break from this forum on VJ because it could play with my mind.

The things I am grateful for is my husband, family, friends, a hot meal, a bath, and shelter over my head. Some people don't have these things in life. I look back at my life and say it was blessing and I have the best one for me

I also agree. Like Minfay I have been a part of this thread since day one and it used to be a place for support. I remember when I was going through my K1 ordeal this thread was the only place that made me feel ok about a bad situation. It was horrible but I was able to let is pass w/all the support of everyone. However, over the last few days this place has changed but not for the better. I haven't felt any different toward my husband and I won't for that matter. Honestly, it has made me love him even more. I am greatful for having such a wonderful man in my life!!! Yes I don't know if it will work but then again who does? All I know is that I have been through a lot and he is worth every moment I have spent in this ridiculous immigration process and no matter what anyone say or might have said....we will make it because God is on our side. Our relationship have overcome sooooo many obstacles over the last few years and our love is stronger because of it.

I'm sorry for everyone who has been having problems in their relationship and hope God provides you the strength and courage to make things right. Communication is the key...I know it may seem hard but sit down and talk to your man about EVERYTHING. If that doesn't work try couple counseling. No matter what happens remember no one is perfect. I take marriage very seriously....is very sacred to me. I made a commitment not only to myself but also to my husband and to God himself that no matter what we will be there for each other. Life is to short to focus on the negativity. Let's all be positive and hope for the best.

Anna

Edited April 14, 2007 by nyseness

[MyDestinyAwaits 0]

Baby List:

Rhonda

Jax

Jonesie

Elizabeth

Lurissa

Sarah

Mindy

Shemanya

Squitto

Shauna

Anna

Dee

I am pretty sure the rest of your post got cut off Are you making an official announcement?!?

So what is the news you put yourself on the top and before you never wanted to be at the top so I am guessing you have a little bun in the oven. Congrats Rhonda. When did you find out? Do you know your due date?

Is this the right gossip??

All the best Rhonda!!!

well well well ms. rhonda....and you WOULD disappear after posting this and leave the rest of us speculating wouldn't you? well if all of our assumptions are correct...then i'm soooo happy for you! some good news is just what we need to lighten things up around here.

[Jonesie 1]

Baby List:

Rhonda

Jax

Jonesie

Elizabeth

Lurissa

Sarah

Mindy

Shemanya

Squitto

Shauna

Anna

Dee

I am pretty sure the rest of your post got cut off Are you making an official announcement?!?

How you gonna leave us hanging Rhonda?? If you are preggie, congrats

Have a good evening everyone

So what is the news you put yourself on the top and before you never wanted to be at the top so I am guessing you have a little bun in the oven. Congrats Rhonda. When did you find out? Do you know your due date?

Is this the right gossip??

All the best Rhonda!!!

[EBONY_SEAN 1]

texas girl u gotta keep us posted as much as u can. sean will prolly come in june and then u and i will be in the same boat at least the men will be. he is already quiet and im havin some problems finding the vibe for him again so i know its going to be tough.

nannygirl- my prayers gp out to you to make the best decision. maybe you should take him on a vacation to see his family then leave him there one way ticket.

Okay TEXASBOUND!!! Finally came up for air!

How are things going?

HELLO FAMILY!!! Wow, it took a minute to catch up on whats been going on here.

1st Nannygirl----Hugs to you, Please pray & communicate.

Sonshyne....no visa yet!!!! I know how you feel truly.

Ricardo....congrats.

OK, me. Well, sweetie made it last week. Got the Employment stamp---mission accomplished. He will start work in 2 weeks w. many options. He got sick the first few days because he was up north in the freakin snow. Of course his family up there (need I mind you extended family who didnt do shi***to get him here in the 1st place) didnt know what to do to take care of him etc. The weather was a true shock to his system. He did enjoy meeting them though. Im sure theres more to it that Im not being told. Anyway, his so called cousin screwed him out of his flight a couple of times ---didnt get him to the airport etc. You know I was pissed off. Nonetheless, he is here now. His first day he was sleeping a lot, not talking much or eating. This is what I call depression!!! I know thanks to many of you that this transition will take time. So Ive been helping him through it. We have gone out to a Caribbean dinner, malls, riding around just etc. he has finally met my family (who love him), he has been totally awesome & accepted by my 4 year old--He even started to teach him how to ride his bike yesterday. I need to just get him acclimated to the surroundings a few times. He loves the weather ---he can wear his shorts again. One day at a time. I hate leaving him to go to work, but he is understanding. I am willing to go home everyday for lunch until he gets his job to keep him on his toes & going. I do feel for him. I just have to remind myself that yes, he did leave everything he knew. It did feel like he resented me. I understand though & in time we will be back up. Im trying to get him comfortable & to be happy being here & remind him that he can still be independent. This a.m. I got a "I love you too" which put a huge smile on my face. Tonight we are going to a NBA game & Im anxious to take him to Home Depot & the Market. We went to a Caribbean grocery store which was worthless---no Betty Milk, no blue mountain coffee, no Horlicks--what a mess. All in all, I am still so happy he is here. I keep reminding myself that its not me & he is not on vacation like I was before. One day at a time, one step at a time. I do feel that if he didn't have an opportunity to work quickly it would be devastating. I couldn't imagine having him wait up to 6 months to work. That would be too damaging. My next step is to have him driving.

[Marlita 0]

You ladies are very strong and I applaud you for your strength. It's just not something I could do. If I thought my SO, whether BF, fiance, or spouse and whether in JA or USA was cheating, I would not be as nice as you all are being.

Here Here to that! I thought it was just me that was thinking the 'let it slide' comments were a little bit weird! Why would I want to marry someone that was cheating on me from the BEGINNING of our relationship. Do I think I can't get any better? Do I not deserve any better? Do I allow it just cause he's in another country?

I don't understand this logic. I know that people cheat in relationships all the time, but I have never known of som many people who are turning a blind eye on it so easily. What is that all about? No wonder the men get to the US and see all these hot ladies and think its OK to "have friends", you were letting him do it to you before you were even married to one another. SO basically you married a scoundrel of a man, and you knew it, and then you get upset that he's still a scoundrel after you've paid all this money and dedicated all this time to get him here in the US with you.

Does anyone else not see a problem with this here! As a person looking in from the inside, I can see so many red flags in some of these relationships, it absolutely ridiculous.

I don't mean to offend anyone, but some of these comments were just sooo shocking to me. They just blew my mind! WOW!!

ok i never said he was doing this before we married....this happend 2 months into our marriage....and yes i have every reason to be upset....was he doing this to me in Jamaica...well i have no real way of knowing...does anyone???

i never said i was going to let it go..

I was the one who said I thought something was going on before we were married.....I had no proof. I just assumed. It wasn't like I could jump in my car and stalk him to see what he was doing when I was not there. So, I did what I had to do to get through the time we spent apart -- I assumed the worst, hoped for the best and got on with my life. Ya see, I am a VERY jealous person -- always have been, always will be. I accept that and so does he. The strength of our relationship (hopefully) will continue to get us through any tough times that we might encounter. That's really all you can hope for......

I am not turning a blind eye. I do not believe any of the girls who post here in this forum are. I think everyone just needs to understand that every person is different, every relationship is different and everyone has different experiences......we are all here to try to help each other -- not tell each other how stupid we think they are....we are suppose to be a support system. I'm not here to judge what someone else chooses to do in their relationship and I hope nobody is going to judge me.

It's getting a little too heated in here for me -- I'm gonna be taking a break from you guys for a while. I get too emotional when I see people bashing and attacking each other and I don't want it to have an adverse effect on my own relationship. Squitto got this whole thing started so we all had a place to go to support each other and that's exactly what this used to be one big happy family of support -- for some reason it has gotten really ugly lately.

There used to be a time where if you had a problem you could post it here and everyone would offer suggestions to try to help you out. It doesn't seem like that is happening here anymore. People are getting a bit too judgemental for me. I might not agree with the choices that you have made but I will be more than happy to offer suggestions -- not say how stupid I think you are. When things like that start happening it tends to make it ugly for everyone.

I wish you all the best of luck and hope all of you have long, happy <and PROBLEM FREE> marriages

Mindy I totally understand. I use to come on here for support but it is so depressing. I don't think reading all this bashing is good. That is why I said I am sad reading this forum a post back or 2 because I am a very happy person and love life. I don't like dealing with drama. You will be missed on here !! I know when my husband arrives here I will be taking a break from this forum on VJ because it could play with my mind.

The things I am grateful for is my husband, family, friends, a hot meal, a bath, and shelter over my head. Some people don't have these things in life. I look back at my life and say it was blessing and I have the best one for me

I also agree. Like Minfay I have been a part of this thread since day one and it used to be a place for support. I remember when I was going through my K1 ordeal this thread was the only place that made me feel ok about a bad situation. It was horrible but I was able to let is pass w/all the support of everyone. However, over the last few days this place has changed but not for the better. I haven't felt any different toward my husband and I won't for that matter. Honestly, it has made me love him even more. I am greatful for having such a wonderful man in my life!!! Yes I don't know if it will work but then again who does? All I know is that I have been through a lot and he is worth every moment I have spent in this ridiculous immigration process and no matter what anyone say or might have said....we will make it because God is on our side. Our relationship have overcome sooooo many obstacles over the last few years and our love is stronger because of it.

I'm sorry for everyone who has been having problems in their relationship and hope God provides you the strength and courage to make things right. Communication is the key...I know it may seem hard but sit down and talk to your man about EVERYTHING. If that doesn't work try couple counseling. No matter what happens remember no one is perfect. I take marriage very seriously....is very sacred to me. I made a commitment not only to myself but also to my husband and to God himself that no matter what we will be there for each other. Life is to short to focus on the negativity. Let's all be positive and hope for the best.

Anna

Let me be the first to apologize if I came across judgemental. I went back and re-read my statement and it DID seem judgemental. I wasn't speaking to anyone in particular, more just making comments from my own thoughts about what all had been reading. But I see how that could have fueled some negative energy, and I truly feel bad for that. Not my intention. Since I am relatively new to this forum, I guess I was just shocked as to some of the things that were being said, and I just expressed my opinion on them. For the most part since I have joined VJ "these" sort of topics have been in the limelight so I was just responding to that.

So if I have upset anyone, please accept my sincere apologies.

[Jamaica to CT 0]

Jonesie please check your PM.

[Jonesie 1]

Guess who's #1 on the list...(well at least I think, if Rhonda hasn't beat me to it)

ME!!!!

Took two tests and both are positive, and still no cycle. Made doc appt for next month. I might buy another brand just to be sure but I've been told that there are usually false negatives instead of false positives

We are so excited

[nannygirl82 0]

Guess who's #1 on the list...(well at least I think, if Rhonda hasn't beat me to it)

ME!!!!

Took two tests and both are positive, and still no cycle. Made doc appt for next month. I might buy another brand just to be sure but I've been told that there are usually false negatives instead of false positives

We are so excited

THAT IS SO GREAT!!!!!!!!!! possibly 2 likkle babies on the way!!!!!

[Sonshyne 2]

Guess who's #1 on the list...(well at least I think, if Rhonda hasn't beat me to it)

ME!!!!

Took two tests and both are positive, and still no cycle. Made doc appt for next month. I might buy another brand just to be sure but I've been told that there are usually false negatives instead of false positives

We are so excited

Tha congrats to you and your hubby

[Jonesie 1]

Guess who's #1 on the list...(well at least I think, if Rhonda hasn't beat me to it)

ME!!!!

Took two tests and both are positive, and still no cycle. Made doc appt for next month. I might buy another brand just to be sure but I've been told that there are usually false negatives instead of false positives

We are so excited

THAT IS SO GREAT!!!!!!!!!! possibly 2 likkle babies on the way!!!!!

Thanks

I am just so amazed that we're experiencing this. We're both first time parents. Waiting for his mom and dad to get in from church so we can call JA and share the news. My fam is excited as well. This is so surreal

Guess who's #1 on the list...(well at least I think, if Rhonda hasn't beat me to it)

ME!!!!

Took two tests and both are positive, and still no cycle. Made doc appt for next month. I might buy another brand just to be sure but I've been told that there are usually false negatives instead of false positives

We are so excited

Tha congrats to you and your hubby

Thanks and congrats again to you and hubby for finally getting the visa!

You're in Cali too right?

[Sonshyne 2]

Guess who's #1 on the list...(well at least I think, if Rhonda hasn't beat me to it)

ME!!!!

Took two tests and both are positive, and still no cycle. Made doc appt for next month. I might buy another brand just to be sure but I've been told that there are usually false negatives instead of false positives

We are so excited

THAT IS SO GREAT!!!!!!!!!! possibly 2 likkle babies on the way!!!!!

Thanks

I am just so amazed that we're experiencing this. We're both first time parents. Waiting for his mom and dad to get in from church so we can call JA and share the news. My fam is excited as well. This is so surreal

Guess who's #1 on the list...(well at least I think, if Rhonda hasn't beat me to it)

ME!!!!

Took two tests and both are positive, and still no cycle. Made doc appt for next month. I might buy another brand just to be sure but I've been told that there are usually false negatives instead of false positives

We are so excited

Tha congrats to you and your hubby

Thanks and congrats again to you and hubby for finally getting the visa!

You're in Cali too right?

Thanks Yes I'm in Sacramento.

[Sonshyne 2]

After 24 days of waiting .... We finally got our Visa

Edited April 15, 2007 by Sonshyne