Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[*JG* 2]

Mindy - now what is the hold up??? You and Roy better get busy

Bite your tongue!!

I am taking triple doses of the pill, I have an IUD, a Diaphram and I take a bath in spermacide -- AND -- I make Roy wear triple condoms :energetic: :lol:

[*JG* 2]

and he'll kiss his teeth

Oh, I HATE when Tony does that It irks me so much.

I have picked up this stupid habit and do it so much more then Andre does.

[JA Tam 7]

and he'll kiss his teeth

Oh, I HATE when Tony does that It irks me so much.

I have picked up this stupid habit and do it so much more then Andre does.

My father hated that and so it was something that was never done in my household. My father also wanted the Kings/Queens English in our house, so hardly any patois was spoken. Now, I take advantage of it when I can, now that I am older.

[Jonesie 1]

Hmmmm Jonesie, how do I respond to this.....

Well, I do look at this from Craig's side, we talk about it often. There are some family members of Craig's family that don't know he's married and those that do, His father for one is VERY racist against whites --doesn't like them, as well as his 2 aunts oh dear....and some cousins that all live in Philly an hour from us and don't "want" to meet me. I've said to Craig, if I ever met them....that's okay, if not I will never lose sleep over it, it doesn't bother me at all.

I just asked Craig about this, again....and he said at first it did bother him, but now he sees my parents and I are not close and knows we've never been and he sees how they truly are and he doesn't want to get to know them. He sees them close to my son and he said it would crush him to put Austin through all of that ####### if they found out. He said, we don't need that negativity in our life. I agree completely............sucks, but that's how it is !

My parents didn't even know I was pregnant with my son until 4 months after he was born because we hadn't spoken to each other in 2 yrs. My sister told my mother and my mother kept it from my father. We do not tell each other we love each other (I don't feel that way towards them at all) and I couldn't even tell you the last time either said it to me. When either of us go away, we don't say we'll miss each other.....ever. The relationship that my parents have with my brother and sister, completely different. They also tell my son that they love him every phone conversation and in person because I told my parents looooong ago, do NOT treat him like you have treated me !!!

My son has had my parents tell him last summer not to bring "those kinds of people over to their house" to go swimming. I am teaching MY son that color does not make the person....and I laugh, ALL of my sons friends are black and one is black/japanese and yes, I choose to live a "double life" because "I" do not want my son to be subjected --every time he would go to their house to have my parents say rude and ignorant things to him about Craig and trust me.........that WOULD happen. The say the "n" word not even knowing Craig!!!

As an interracial couple, trust me........we get looks, stares, roll of eyes from TONS of black people (mostly women) here..........sad, truly sad !!!

Too bad your son has to be exposed to his grandparents hatred and ignorance. Even in this day and age, there are those set in their ways. You can't change how they think (as they say, can't teach an old dog new tricks) but because your parents are not his parents, you have a choice as to what he is exposed to. With Craig's family, if they don't agree with it that's fine, but they aren't as involved in your lives as with your parents.

You're right - color does not make the person but not everyone is raised to see it that way. When we are cut we all bleed red blood. Does your son ever tell you how his grandparents comments affect him?

I'm sure you get the looks from some black women. Hell, I get looks from black women and I'm black. I also get them from other races - both hubby and I are black. As soon as they hear him talk and they notice the accent the looks get even more intense. I just brush that off my shoulders and keep steppin because they don't pay our bills or mean anything to us.

[Jonesie 1]

Whats sad about it is that people are still living their lives as if they were in the 60's. Those beliefs about blacks are continuously being displayed whether in the household, school, etc... Trust me your son would encounter it some way or another. I am black and could care less about what color the other person is. Its ashame because these beliefs are in our work world and personal life and it stagnates us all one way or another. Don't even get me started on this one!!! Kelly, there is really nothing that you can do about your parent's beliefs. Just know that your son will still be exposed to their beliefs and sadly enough its going to have an impact on the way views other races. It may be a good view or a bad view. All you can do is to continue teaching him otherwise and possibly tell your parents not to discuss certain things around him such as racial differences. If so he will not be allowed to come over anymore. If it was me I would explain to them the necessary reasons and if they can't agree then so be it. Its 2007...........please people get over it!!! (for anyone who is racist) Neither race is going anywhere so we might as well learn how to get along with each other or you will just create unecessary stress and worries that will get you nowhere in life.

I agree

Even though this country has come so far in the past 50+ years, we still have a long way to go. I just pray that our future (the children) don't continue to breed the hate of their fathers and forefathers.

[Jonesie 1]

Ok who's next to add to the baby list?

Currently Preggo:

Jonesie - Dec. 15

Rhonda - Dec. 16

Jax -

Nannygirl -

Next in line:

Mindy

MINDY DON'T DRINK VTHE VJ BABY WATER!!!!!

[JA Tam 7]

Whats sad about it is that people are still living their lives as if they were in the 60's. Those beliefs about blacks are continuously being displayed whether in the household, school, etc... Trust me your son would encounter it some way or another. I am black and could care less about what color the other person is. Its ashame because these beliefs are in our work world and personal life and it stagnates us all one way or another. Don't even get me started on this one!!! Kelly, there is really nothing that you can do about your parent's beliefs. Just know that your son will still be exposed to their beliefs and sadly enough its going to have an impact on the way views other races. It may be a good view or a bad view. All you can do is to continue teaching him otherwise and possibly tell your parents not to discuss certain things around him such as racial differences. If so he will not be allowed to come over anymore. If it was me I would explain to them the necessary reasons and if they can't agree then so be it. Its 2007...........please people get over it!!! (for anyone who is racist) Neither race is going anywhere so we might as well learn how to get along with each other or you will just create unecessary stress and worries that will get you nowhere in life.

I agree

Even though this country has come so far in the past 50+ years, we still have a long way to go. I just pray that our future (the children) don't continue to breed the hate of their fathers and forefathers.

Well-said

[Jonesie 1]

Right now I don't even have the energy to shop. I feel like a stick in the mud. I don't think my husband and my cells are mixing properly.

Girl I understand that feeling TRUST ME. This pregnancy has been full of pains and complications. Thank the Lord my lil man is a trooper - he's doing fine, I'm the one that's suffering cannot wait until he is born so that I can get some r-e-l-i-e-f

[jawi876 2]

I have been thinking about wedding ideas. I got married the first time at my mom's house because I just cannot manage a courthouse setting. Our plan was to do it small and intimate...then do a bigger one in Jamaica. Well of course life happened...I got married...and now we are divorcing. So, I never got to wear "the dress"...

Now, I don't want to plan around the prospect of two different ceremonies. I want to wear the dress and have a romantic and intimate ceremony with those people that really love us. I really wanted to get married in Jamaica, but I don't want to extend our time apart. We are both ready to start the rest of our lives together and we are not able to do so until my divorce is final. So, I have starting thinking about Key West Florida, Miami Florida and the USVI to have the beach wedding of my "reality". LOL

My question is...will he be able to travel to the USVI on his 90 day K1 visa being that it is still a US Territory...or would Customs give us a hard time and tell us that it is still international travel?

I also want my sis and my best friend (Jonesie) to be a part of my wedding, but I think about my sweetie not having his family or best friend at a US ceremony...and I feel really bad. I know that Jonesie's hubby can stand in for him...but that still doesn't make up for him not having the option of his brother and best friend there. How do we plan this so that we only have to plan a wedding once? I'm beginning to think that the only way to make this work is to get married in Jamaica and file the K3 instead of K1. *sigh* BTW...What is the average approval time for a K3 visa?

How many of you have actually done the second ceremony after the courthouse ceremony to comply with Bablyon's red tape?

We were planning that two ceremony thing; but so far, it hasn't worked out.

Andre and I married here in our living room with a rent-a-preacher surrounded by family and friends. It was initimate and beautiful and we had a great party in our yard after. We had intended to go back to JA in December of last year to renew our vows. Well, life took over, the bills piled up, and we still haven't made it back. At this point, we are struggling just to go back and visit. Not sure if the renew of vows thing will happen anytime soon or not. Probably looking at a 5 year or 10 year renewal now.

It was a good thought in theory; but didn't work out in reality.

Neither of us is really upset about it though. The important thing was the formality of the marriage certificate. The rest is just a show.

Money was not the reason my planned Jamaica wedding was put off...just other things like having a baby, trying to adjust and regular life situations. I think those of us that considered doing two different weddings, ended up facing reality and realized that it just didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

If you are really honest about it, the entire process is just a show. The most important thing is your union with GOD as a couple...not any piece of paper from man. Without GOD in your union constantly....that piece of paper will not keep your relationship together regardless.

We don't want a huge elaborate affair...but I do want us to have the wedding of our dreams. My dream will be satisfied if I can wear the white gown and stand in a sandbox...as long as GOD is ordaining our union...and I am saying forever and always to my best friend.

We have both done divorce, and we don't want to do it again...ever. We have talked extensively about our passion to make this work no matter what obstacles may come. He has even forced me to finally admit to myself that I am a runner. He wants me to start fighting instead.

[jawi876 2]

and he'll kiss his teeth

Oh, I HATE when Tony does that It irks me so much.

I have picked up this stupid habit and do it so much more then Andre does.

*rolling* LOL LOL

I have picked up too...but the funny thing is that I can ONLY do it when I'm irritated about something. I can't do it just to do it. When I'm irritated it comes out loud and long....kikikikiki.

[jawi876 2]

Right now I don't even have the energy to shop. I feel like a stick in the mud. I don't think my husband and my cells are mixing properly.

Girl I understand that feeling TRUST ME. This pregnancy has been full of pains and complications. Thank the Lord my lil man is a trooper - he's doing fine, I'm the one that's suffering cannot wait until he is born so that I can get some r-e-l-i-e-f

I readily concur...there is something about that Jamaican blood and cells mixing....I have always thought that. My son wore me out! There were many days when I just thought I would just jump off the sidewalk and end it all. The only thing that I could hold down for the ENTIRE pregnancy was oxtails & rice n peas...an Jamaican veggie tables...LOL. If I tried to eat something I wanted...it would come right back out. The docs were amazed because I didn't gain 1 lb during the entire pregnancy...but he was 8lbs and 2 oz....and 20 inches long. Oh and he would not let me sleep...I was up at all times of the day and night.

He is a real sweetheart...but he is a charmer...and he is stubborn to baxside. \o/ /o\ /o\ Faaadaa tek de case....LOL and he still LOVES oxtails and is very particular about he will and won't eat.

Edited September 10, 2007 by jawi876

[JA Tam 7]

*rolling* LOL LOL

I have picked up too...but the funny thing is that I can ONLY do it when I'm irritated about something. I can't do it just to do it. When I'm irritated it comes out loud and long....kikikikiki.

[12/11/2006 0]

I have been thinking about wedding ideas. I got married the first time at my mom's house because I just cannot manage a courthouse setting. Our plan was to do it small and intimate...then do a bigger one in Jamaica. Well of course life happened...I got married...and now we are divorcing. So, I never got to wear "the dress"...

Now, I don't want to plan around the prospect of two different ceremonies. I want to wear the dress and have a romantic and intimate ceremony with those people that really love us. I really wanted to get married in Jamaica, but I don't want to extend our time apart. We are both ready to start the rest of our lives together and we are not able to do so until my divorce is final. So, I have starting thinking about Key West Florida, Miami Florida and the USVI to have the beach wedding of my "reality". LOL

My question is...will he be able to travel to the USVI on his 90 day K1 visa being that it is still a US Territory...or would Customs give us a hard time and tell us that it is still international travel?

I also want my sis and my best friend (Jonesie) to be a part of my wedding, but I think about my sweetie not having his family or best friend at a US ceremony...and I feel really bad. I know that Jonesie's hubby can stand in for him...but that still doesn't make up for him not having the option of his brother and best friend there. How do we plan this so that we only have to plan a wedding once? I'm beginning to think that the only way to make this work is to get married in Jamaica and file the K3 instead of K1. *sigh* BTW...What is the average approval time for a K3 visa?

How many of you have actually done the second ceremony after the courthouse ceremony to comply with Bablyon's red tape?

We were planning that two ceremony thing; but so far, it hasn't worked out.

Andre and I married here in our living room with a rent-a-preacher surrounded by family and friends. It was initimate and beautiful and we had a great party in our yard after. We had intended to go back to JA in December of last year to renew our vows. Well, life took over, the bills piled up, and we still haven't made it back. At this point, we are struggling just to go back and visit. Not sure if the renew of vows thing will happen anytime soon or not. Probably looking at a 5 year or 10 year renewal now.

It was a good thought in theory; but didn't work out in reality.

Neither of us is really upset about it though. The important thing was the formality of the marriage certificate. The rest is just a show.

Money was not the reason my planned Jamaica wedding was put off...just other things like having a baby, trying to adjust and regular life situations. I think those of us that considered doing two different weddings, ended up facing reality and realized that it just didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

If you are really honest about it, the entire process is just a show. The most important thing is your union with GOD as a couple...not any piece of paper from man. Without GOD in your union constantly....that piece of paper will not keep your relationship together regardless.

We don't want a huge elaborate affair...but I do want us to have the wedding of our dreams. My dream will be satisfied if I can wear the white gown and stand in a sandbox...as long as GOD is ordaining our union...and I am saying forever and always to my best friend.

We have both done divorce, and we don't want to do it again...ever. We have talked extensively about our passion to make this work no matter what obstacles may come. He has even forced me to finally admit to myself that I am a runner. He wants me to start fighting instead.

I agree about union with god but I also believe that if you want the second marriage to happen it will. If you both put your mind to it, it will happen. That is our plan to have something small here and have something later in JA. I know that what both want it really bad and its going to happen.

[luvtravlin 0]

Hmmmm Jonesie, how do I respond to this.....

Well, I do look at this from Craig's side, we talk about it often. There are some family members of Craig's family that don't know he's married and those that do, His father for one is VERY racist against whites --doesn't like them, as well as his 2 aunts oh dear....and some cousins that all live in Philly an hour from us and don't "want" to meet me. I've said to Craig, if I ever met them....that's okay, if not I will never lose sleep over it, it doesn't bother me at all.

I just asked Craig about this, again....and he said at first it did bother him, but now he sees my parents and I are not close and knows we've never been and he sees how they truly are and he doesn't want to get to know them. He sees them close to my son and he said it would crush him to put Austin through all of that ####### if they found out. He said, we don't need that negativity in our life. I agree completely............sucks, but that's how it is !

My parents didn't even know I was pregnant with my son until 4 months after he was born because we hadn't spoken to each other in 2 yrs. My sister told my mother and my mother kept it from my father. We do not tell each other we love each other (I don't feel that way towards them at all) and I couldn't even tell you the last time either said it to me. When either of us go away, we don't say we'll miss each other.....ever. The relationship that my parents have with my brother and sister, completely different. They also tell my son that they love him every phone conversation and in person because I told my parents looooong ago, do NOT treat him like you have treated me !!!

My son has had my parents tell him last summer not to bring "those kinds of people over to their house" to go swimming. I am teaching MY son that color does not make the person....and I laugh, ALL of my sons friends are black and one is black/japanese and yes, I choose to live a "double life" because "I" do not want my son to be subjected --every time he would go to their house to have my parents say rude and ignorant things to him about Craig and trust me.........that WOULD happen. The say the "n" word not even knowing Craig!!!

As an interracial couple, trust me........we get looks, stares, roll of eyes from TONS of black people (mostly women) here..........sad, truly sad !!!

Too bad your son has to be exposed to his grandparents hatred and ignorance. Even in this day and age, there are those set in their ways. You can't change how they think (as they say, can't teach an old dog new tricks) but because your parents are not his parents, you have a choice as to what he is exposed to. With Craig's family, if they don't agree with it that's fine, but they aren't as involved in your lives as with your parents.

You're right - color does not make the person but not everyone is raised to see it that way. When we are cut we all bleed red blood. Does your son ever tell you how his grandparents comments affect him?

I'm sure you get the looks from some black women. Hell, I get looks from black women and I'm black. I also get them from other races - both hubby and I are black. As soon as they hear him talk and they notice the accent the looks get even more intense. I just brush that off my shoulders and keep steppin because they don't pay our bills or mean anything to us.

Yes, it is really to bad that my parents are the way they are and "I" know I can never change them. Gave that up a loooong time ago. My son says it never ever bothers him, he just ignores it. He knows that it is their ignorance. I tell him all the time, if they ask "if Mommy has someone special in my life"....tell them about Craig, but in reality...they never ever will and haven't up to this point. My parents aren't really "involved" in my life, never have been. The only time I really see them is sometimes at my sons soccer games (once a wk) and then we don't even sit near each other. I drop him off at their house and sometimes I go in and mingle. I do their travel, they are my "clients". That's about it.

My son, during the summer, mows their lawn once a week, makes $20 a pop, saves his money and buys stuff (that I won't buy...expensive shoes, games, etc) and that's when my dad will take him. My dad and my son are close to a degree.....doesn't ever take him places, ever. I think they went to the movies 3-4 yrs ago??

But....hey everyone..........I am USED to how they treat me and trust me "I" HATE IT with a passion. It does make me angry because "I" have had to struggle my entire life and my brother n sister, have been given everything to them and have not had to struggle. I don't let it get to me and I don't express those feelings in front of my son. I do tell him that we will never have that type of relationship and that if he ever need to talk to me or turn to me for anything, I will always be there for him. I will love him no matter what. I am a strong person and my sons sees that I am a good and caring person, NOT fake and materialistic like my sister and brother!! I do my best *not* to expose my son to the ignorance (from my family) as MUCH as possible. My son feels loved, truly loved --a love that "I" never had from my parents....and a different kind of love from Craig (that's still a work in progress) that he's never had from a man in my life. I have tons of guys friends, so he's had lots of *positive* male role models around.

No worries.....I'm (we) are all good !!

Kelly

[jawi876 2]

*rolling* LOL LOL

I have picked up too...but the funny thing is that I can ONLY do it when I'm irritated about something. I can't do it just to do it. When I'm irritated it comes out loud and long....kikikikiki.

My fiance would laugh at my earnest attempts to do it on a whim...but the first couple of times it came out from irritation...im look pon mi and whispa unda im voyce..."B......C...... wan lang dutty kiss teet dat...whaa mek????" We would immediately fall out in fits of laughter because it took both of us by surprise. Now he knows that soon after there will be a small amount of patois immediately following if I am really irked. He tells me that he knows to sit up and pay attention if I start talking in patois...LOL. too funny.

I have also noticed that my diction is getting a little too lax because of my patois as a 2nd language training.