Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[jawi876 2]

so my next thought was if i couldn't do that i came across a maternity card...it is not insurance but will give you a discounted price and can save you up to 60%....

Shauna -- this is my issue as well. Roy doesn't even have insurance yet -- I have it through the State and it is ONLY major medical -- and they charge me through my a#$ for this every month. I keep telling Roy that I CANNOT get pregant because we don't have the insurance to cover the expenses.

I've never heard of that card -- actually, never had to look Let me know how it works out.

well i asked mike to find out from his job...yup he can't get it yet....after talking to my sister...worst idea i had for the day....she siad don't get the maternity card....switch to a new insurance...pay out the nose for it blah blah blah....i'm worried for you don't know how you and mike are going to do this you live in a one bedroom apt. just going on and on about what they had to deal w/ when my nephew was born...it was a bunch of ####### i didn't need to hear or deal with....

what the man told me last night seemed to make a lot of sense to me...basically i will pretty much end up paying the same as if i had insurance..so we shall see....

Doesn't this technically count as a life changing event that would enable you to change your current coverage instead of waiting for open enrollment? You may wish to review all the options available to you from your employer and speak to a human resources rep about making the changes. Best of luck. Do it MONDAY!! Don't let too much time pass.

wish it was that easy...as i am my own human resource my employer doesn't offer me insurance so i had to get my own

Oh...I'm so sorry. I don't like the prospect of you being hit later with the bills right when you are dealing with the added cost of actually raising your baby. I think you should bite the bullet and pay for new insurance coverage now. How much would your premiums be to switch in comparison with setting up payment arrangements on your bills for pregnancy? I'm guessing that you will still pay co-pays for your pregnancy visits and check ups with your current coverage and the maternity card. The actual labor and delivery and hospital stay can easily come in over $20,000 with normal delivery and about 1 1/2 days in the hospital. If you have to have a c-section the cost was dramatically increase because of the extended stay (3 to 5 days) in the hospital. Then, if you decide to circumcise if it's a boy...\o/ What happens if an unforeseen emergency arises?

At least with the change in coverage, you will know up front what the "paying through the nose" costs will be. Sweets, I wish you the best. I can try to help you research some of the options since I am bored to death and on leave from work.

Congrats on your recent approval Finesse....

thank you so much...i was doing some research and basically aetna has a plan for 327.00...deductable of 500.00....but Pre & Postnatal Office Visit

$30 Copay for Initial Visit; No Charge thereafter

Labor & Delivery Hospital Stay

$2,000 Copay Plus 20% Coinsurance after deductible

so i may actually end up paying the same in the end....i sometimes hate our healthcare system....

Trust me, I know the feeling. I have been off work for going on 4 weeks because of pain in my neck and shoulder. The doctor couldn't find anything on an x-ray. He requested an MRI and my stupid health care provider stated that they would not approve payment on it until after I completed 6 to 8 weeks under doctor's treatment. So, I have to do physical therapy on an unknown condition just to find out what the condition is. CHA!!!!!

Have you considered looking into AFLAC for supplemental coverage to your current insurance?

My sweetie stated that he thought we would get married in Jamaica...but is okay with getting married in the States if that is what I want. I know most women think of it has their day...but I want it to be our day in every aspect. I just don't want to spend another minute longer away from him if I can help it. When I dream of our day, it's always in Jamaica though. Maybe, I will do the wedding to statisfy the immigration requirement, then arrange for an actual Jamaican wedding the following year on our 1st year anniversary. Then, I will still only have "1" wedding date...and it will make the budget easier to manage too without the costs of actually getting him here taking away from it. Then, afterwards we can begin budgeting in the $5000 AOS fees since they will find a way to increase it again by then. *rolleyes*

[nannygirl82 0]

Shauna - Does the "card" cover you if (God FORBID) something unforseen happens like insurance would?

it actually is not insurance....is is a plan that reduces the fee's...but mindy checking into everything i really think this card is my only option...because of my "condition" as the insurance people put it...i may not get coverage because it is a pre-existing condition....and plus the less of a deductible the higher the premium and really it might all come out the same....here is the link for it...http://www.maternityadvantage.com/home.asp

my insurance said that if I needed medical anything like a c-section that they would cover that or if i was considerd high risk...but no dr visits or hospital anything for maternity

[nannygirl82 0]

so my next thought was if i couldn't do that i came across a maternity card...it is not insurance but will give you a discounted price and can save you up to 60%....

Shauna -- this is my issue as well. Roy doesn't even have insurance yet -- I have it through the State and it is ONLY major medical -- and they charge me through my a#$ for this every month. I keep telling Roy that I CANNOT get pregant because we don't have the insurance to cover the expenses.

I've never heard of that card -- actually, never had to look Let me know how it works out.

well i asked mike to find out from his job...yup he can't get it yet....after talking to my sister...worst idea i had for the day....she siad don't get the maternity card....switch to a new insurance...pay out the nose for it blah blah blah....i'm worried for you don't know how you and mike are going to do this you live in a one bedroom apt. just going on and on about what they had to deal w/ when my nephew was born...it was a bunch of ####### i didn't need to hear or deal with....

what the man told me last night seemed to make a lot of sense to me...basically i will pretty much end up paying the same as if i had insurance..so we shall see....

Doesn't this technically count as a life changing event that would enable you to change your current coverage instead of waiting for open enrollment? You may wish to review all the options available to you from your employer and speak to a human resources rep about making the changes. Best of luck. Do it MONDAY!! Don't let too much time pass.

wish it was that easy...as i am my own human resource my employer doesn't offer me insurance so i had to get my own

Oh...I'm so sorry. I don't like the prospect of you being hit later with the bills right when you are dealing with the added cost of actually raising your baby. I think you should bite the bullet and pay for new insurance coverage now. How much would your premiums be to switch in comparison with setting up payment arrangements on your bills for pregnancy? I'm guessing that you will still pay co-pays for your pregnancy visits and check ups with your current coverage and the maternity card. The actual labor and delivery and hospital stay can easily come in over $20,000 with normal delivery and about 1 1/2 days in the hospital. If you have to have a c-section the cost was dramatically increase because of the extended stay (3 to 5 days) in the hospital. Then, if you decide to circumcise if it's a boy...\o/ What happens if an unforeseen emergency arises?

At least with the change in coverage, you will know up front what the "paying through the nose" costs will be. Sweets, I wish you the best. I can try to help you research some of the options since I am bored to death and on leave from work.

Congrats on your recent approval Finesse....

thank you so much...i was doing some research and basically aetna has a plan for 327.00...deductable of 500.00....but Pre & Postnatal Office Visit

$30 Copay for Initial Visit; No Charge thereafter

Labor & Delivery Hospital Stay

$2,000 Copay Plus 20% Coinsurance after deductible

so i may actually end up paying the same in the end....i sometimes hate our healthcare system....

Trust me, I know the feeling. I have been off work for going on 4 weeks because of pain in my neck and shoulder. The doctor couldn't find anything on an x-ray. He requested an MRI and my stupid health care provider stated that they would not approve payment on it until after I completed 6 to 8 weeks under doctor's treatment. So, I have to do physical therapy on an unknown condition just to find out what the condition is. CHA!!!!!

Have you considered looking into AFLAC for supplemental coverage to your current insurance?

My sweetie stated that he thought we would get married in Jamaica...but is okay with getting married in the States if that is what I want. I know most women think of it has their day...but I want it to be our day in every aspect. I just don't want to spend another minute longer away from him if I can help it. When I dream of our day, it's always in Jamaica though. Maybe, I will do the wedding to statisfy the immigration requirement, then arrange for an actual Jamaican wedding the following year on our 1st year anniversary. Then, I will still only have "1" wedding date...and it will make the budget easier to manage too without the costs of actually getting him here taking away from it. Then, afterwards we can begin budgeting in the $5000 AOS fees since they will find a way to increase it again by then. *rolleyes*

i just sent aflac for more info...i never thought about looking into them...

[jawi876 2]

Good. I hope they can help reasonably.

I also noticed that I typed AOS in my last post...I meant remove of conditions. LOL

[Minfay 0]

my insurance said that if I needed medical anything like a c-section that they would cover that or if i was considerd high risk...but no dr visits or hospital anything for maternity

Great!! That makes me feel better......so, now that that's taken care of -- have you started picking out names yet?

[nannygirl82 0]

my insurance said that if I needed medical anything like a c-section that they would cover that or if i was considerd high risk...but no dr visits or hospital anything for maternity

Great!! That makes me feel better......so, now that that's taken care of -- have you started picking out names yet?

uumm mike wants if it is a boy named after him...but umm welll his name is michael junior francis....there is NO WAY i am having a son named michael junior francis junior...no way....plus i can only deal w/ one michael don't need another one....i was actually thinking of thomas michael francis....thomas was my grandma's maiden name...so i think thomas would be a great first name...and for a girl something that goes with ann as a middle name ann is my mom's middle name and mike's moms first name....i'm not sure what a good not common first name would be for a girl....

[luvtravlin 0]

I just tried responses to everyone...and it didn't post :confused:

I don't think I will re-type it...LOL. Luvtravlin...I'm so sorry to hear about your parents' views. Do you mind if I ask you a question or two? I'm not trying to offend, I am just not familiar with the situation you are in...and if the question is to personal I understand. Is your marriage your first interracial relationship? If not, did your parents react violently (not physically per se) when you told them about the relationship? Is that why you decided not to tell them about your marriage? Does your husband if think your decision not to inform them of your marriage is in a way you being ashamed of him or that he doesn't measure up? How does he feel knowing that your parents will never accept him? If you are not close to your parents, why don't you tell them and done (meaning you take the stance of "I will not deny my husband...but mom and dad your limited and warped views will not mean a hill of beans to me and my family.") How did you keep it from them for 3+ years? I can understand the dating aspect because he was in Jamaica. I'm confused about him being here and they come every now and then to get your son. Does he leave the house or stay in the bedroom?

No offense, ever... to answer the questions ...

I've never been married. Child out of wedlock, father not in the picture (his choice). This is not my 1st interracial relationship and my parents don't know about my previous ones and one I was with him for over a year. Another one, my parents knew him, met him (professional soccer player), he came to my sons bday party.....not ONCE did my parents question whether or not we were "a couple". My last relationship 6 yrs ago, my parents didn't know that I was with that guy for almost 4 yrs.....they didn't care. He was puerto rican/american. Craig did not, at 1st, understand why. We had maaaaaaaany talks about the entire situation before he came here and that he would most likely NOT meet them for quite awhile. Our relationship has been very rocky (other issues) and I've told him that "we" need to be secure in our marriage in order to meet my ignorant/racist parents. I won't say anything to them because of how they will treat my son (their only grandson) and I know them, they will say all kinds of ignorant stuff N this and N that in front of my son. My son said he would just ignore it, but I told him....it WILL affect him. When my parents have come to the house, Craig wasn't here or my son meets them outside. My son TOTALLY knows how they are because they treat ALL of his african american friends the exact same way!!!!

I am not close to them.....never ever have been. It's a very very fake relationship. I can't change my parents views, although I've tried to "open their eyes", they will die being ignorant !!! One of my best friends (guy) is black.....they never even acknowledge him when they are in the same room!!

Trust me...........it is hard to have parents like the ones "I" have, I envy other relationships that have understanding and compassionate parents...........mine, unfortunately are NOT like that !!!!

[luvtravlin 0]

To add, I have on many occassions asked Craig to come to soccer, or wherever and he would/could meet them and he's told me every single time.....he's just not ready. I said, well when you're ready..........be ready for them to be rude !!!! He's met 2 of my cousins (that are cool with everything), but my sister and brother don't even know either.....just because, we are NOT close !!!

It's dysfuntional to the extreme............but..............what family isn't ??!!

[Shemmy 4]

I hope everyone is doing well. Our family is doing well, That God, he truely answers prayers. Big up to all of you out there dealing and perservering through this process, which is already pain in the ASSS and having to deal with everyday life which means fi mi work, school, more work, finding time fi mi pickney, mi hubby extended family and most importanty fi misef!!! Mi goodness !!!!I find misef totally beat at the end of the day, wishing there was more one more hour left in the day. I wonder sometime times how we deal with it all.

Congrats on the recent approval and additions to families. I wish everyone the best!

We are excited about our trip to JA tuesday. D's family is planning party for him so he's very excited, and scared all at the same time. Scared mostly about what everyone expects from him when he arrives for his first trip home. He learned that the home he lived in burned down the other day Not sure what this is all about. But he was very up set about it, We were actually planning to stay there for a couple of day, I'm just glad it didn't happen while we were there.

I've asked before but I'm a bit concerned about video games and a CD player we purchases for his daughter, should I just say that the items are mine if they ask? Keep walking? what? My bags have always been seached on prior visits, I have never had to pay, but this time I have soo much more stuff?

Mindy ...I started playing tennis and lost 5 pounds without even trying

Dee - have a safe trip

[nannygirl82 0]

I just tried responses to everyone...and it didn't post :confused:

I don't think I will re-type it...LOL. Luvtravlin...I'm so sorry to hear about your parents' views. Do you mind if I ask you a question or two? I'm not trying to offend, I am just not familiar with the situation you are in...and if the question is to personal I understand. Is your marriage your first interracial relationship? If not, did your parents react violently (not physically per se) when you told them about the relationship? Is that why you decided not to tell them about your marriage? Does your husband if think your decision not to inform them of your marriage is in a way you being ashamed of him or that he doesn't measure up? How does he feel knowing that your parents will never accept him? If you are not close to your parents, why don't you tell them and done (meaning you take the stance of "I will not deny my husband...but mom and dad your limited and warped views will not mean a hill of beans to me and my family.") How did you keep it from them for 3+ years? I can understand the dating aspect because he was in Jamaica. I'm confused about him being here and they come every now and then to get your son. Does he leave the house or stay in the bedroom?

No offense, ever... to answer the questions ...

I've never been married. Child out of wedlock, father not in the picture (his choice). This is not my 1st interracial relationship and my parents don't know about my previous ones and one I was with him for over a year. Another one, my parents knew him, met him (professional soccer player), he came to my sons bday party.....not ONCE did my parents question whether or not we were "a couple". My last relationship 6 yrs ago, my parents didn't know that I was with that guy for almost 4 yrs.....they didn't care. He was puerto rican/american. Craig did not, at 1st, understand why. We had maaaaaaaany talks about the entire situation before he came here and that he would most likely NOT meet them for quite awhile. Our relationship has been very rocky (other issues) and I've told him that "we" need to be secure in our marriage in order to meet my ignorant/racist parents. I won't say anything to them because of how they will treat my son (their only grandson) and I know them, they will say all kinds of ignorant stuff N this and N that in front of my son. My son said he would just ignore it, but I told him....it WILL affect him. When my parents have come to the house, Craig wasn't here or my son meets them outside. My son TOTALLY knows how they are because they treat ALL of his african american friends the exact same way!!!!

I am not close to them.....never ever have been. It's a very very fake relationship. I can't change my parents views, although I've tried to "open their eyes", they will die being ignorant !!! One of my best friends (guy) is black.....they never even acknowledge him when they are in the same room!!

Trust me...........it is hard to have parents like the ones "I" have, I envy other relationships that have understanding and compassionate parents...........mine, unfortunately are NOT like that !!!!

this is why i didn't tell my parents...they said it wasn't because of his color...but deep down i knew that had something to do with it....i ended up having to tell them he was coming because it was eating me up inside....and at first they were upset and they have kinda come around...but they still have there issues...

[Shemmy 4]

Ditto, we went small as well, very romantic, short and sweet, we were planning to go the court house, the minister doing the weddings at the court house just happen to mention his chapel, afterward I learned It was just what I wanted. Beautiful !! All for less than 500-600$ for dress, chapel, tux, pics everyting. I could not have asked for anything more.

I LOVE your wedding pictures...they are so beautiful. I wish we had a wedding chapel around here.

[brownnskinn 0]

How about peeing in the yard, Kel? Did Craig try that?

Roy did that.....ONCE!!! :energetic:

My hubby is still doing it and has now taught my boys how to do it

My ex taught our son to do this as a toddler. As a matter of fact, I had the hardest time teaching him that was NOT how or where he was to "go potty"....LOL He was quick to run outside to pull his pull up down, and would clap after he was finished.

Welcome Jawi876.

Ditto

Thanks to both of you.

about us...not him and his boys.

The same boys that he devoted himself to, all tried to push up on me at different stages. One even had the nerve to knock on my door, and ask if he and his son could start going to church with me and my boys as a family. HUH??? Mi cuss wan string of dutty badwud...kiss teet...and tell im nuh come ah mi yaad wid eediat man business. Mi nuh SKETTEL mi bwoy! CHA.

ROTFLMAO

Yuh seeit? I told him that I would take anyone that wanted to go to church...but we would not be going as a family unit EVER.

I hope everyone is doing well. Our family is doing well, That God, he truely answers prayers. Big up to all of you out there dealing and perservering through this process, which is already pain in the ASSS and having to deal with everyday life which means fi mi work, school, more work, finding time fi mi pickney, mi hubby extended family and most importanty fi misef!!! Mi goodness !!!!I find misef totally beat at the end of the day, wishing there was more one more hour left in the day. I wonder sometime times how we deal with it all.

Congrats on the recent approval and additions to families. I wish everyone the best!

We are excited about our trip to JA tuesday. D's family is planning party for him so he's very excited, and scared all at the same time. Scared mostly about what everyone expects from him when he arrives for his first trip home. He learned that the home he lived in burned down the other day Not sure what this is all about. But he was very up set about it, We were actually planning to stay there for a couple of day, I'm just glad it didn't happen while we were there.

I've asked before but I'm a bit concerned about video games and a CD player we purchases for his daughter, should I just say that the items are mine if they ask? Keep walking? what? My bags have always been seached on prior visits, I have never had to pay, but this time I have soo much more stuff?

Mindy ...I started playing tennis and lost 5 pounds without even trying

Make sure those items are not still packaged. If you have a removable liner in your luggage...you may be able to pack the smaller items under it....then put your clothes on top. But you didn't hear that from me. This message will self destruct in 5...4...3...

ok ladies i am stressing out about this...not sure what to do...what the right answer is....i called my insurance to see what is all included as i will need to start seeing a dr. pretty soon and they said maternity is NOT covered...it is a al' a cart option that i didn't pick when i signed up for it...well duh of course i didn't wasn't planning on getting preggo....so they said i could add it but it wouldn't cover this current pregnacy...so what do i do....i have been told to look into state funded programs...but will that effect mike and his AOS...i started filling out a application online but stopped when it started asking questions abot mike and who sponsered him blah blah blah....

so my next thought was if i couldn't do that i came across a maternity card...it is not insurance but will give you a discounted price and can save you up to 60%....

or should i maybe cancel my half of the insurance and get another plan that will cover me? i am just not sure what to do i need to bounce these thoughts off of you ladies......

Doesn't this technically count as a life changing event that would enable you to change your current coverage instead of waiting for open enrollment? You may wish to review all the options available to you from your employer and speak to a human resources rep about making the changes. Best of luck. Do it MONDAY!! Don't let too much time pass.

Do you have any children? I would try a state funded program, like medicade, you might qualify, it usually covers everything, will back pay up to three months..at least here in Mo. If you make too much you might end up having to pay a co pay just like regular insurance but not usually very much

[JA Tam 7]

Luvtravlin -- I can't begin to imagine how hard this is on you. Even though you've become used to it, I am sure it's not easy on you and your family (hubby & son). I worry about the racism that my hubby may face when he gets here, but to know that this may come from your in-laws, that's tough. I totally agree with you working on your relationship before subjecting Craig to this.

I wish you all the best.

[jawi876 2]

(((((((((((Luvtravlin))))))))))))

man that is hard. Thanks for the frankness, and not being offended at my cluelessness. I understand a lot better now, and I would probably make the same decision if in your shoes.

[Shemmy 4]

my insurance said that if I needed medical anything like a c-section that they would cover that or if i was considerd high risk...but no dr visits or hospital anything for maternity

Great!! That makes me feel better......so, now that that's taken care of -- have you started picking out names yet?

That's great.

Mindy - now what is the hold up??? You and Roy better get busy