Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[*JG* 2]

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QUOTE(Tricia B @ Sep 4 2007, 02:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hey yardies:

I don't post much but decided to get my frustrations out with you guys, my hubby (in us on k-1) is extremely homesick and contemplating foregoing the whole process. he feels he's not cut out for this place (LA in particular usa in general), a part of me feels that this shall pass but at the same time i feel bad for him because i miss ja too and i didn't even grow up there and i feel there's not much i can do at this point to make him feel better until his AP comes through besides have him visit NYC where there's more things jamaican but he's not feelin that either he just wants to go home. advice?

This is the part where I feel we need more warnings on this board. This is not uncommon at all. And, honestly, he has to WANT to stick it out or not. He's not in Jamaica anymore. Things are totally different. And, you can only mask some of those feelings by scoping out Jamaica-related events and people. It will never be a completely Jamaican culture immersion. He HAS to get used to a different way of life if he wants to stay. If he runs back to Jamaica before AOS, he is risking everything the two of you have built thus far.

I do know all about these feelings. Andre had the same adjustment process as every other Jamaican before him. Times were extremely hard when he wasn't working (the first 7 months) and are still a work in progress (now 14 months later). Luckily, my husband never stated he wanted to chuck it all and go back. I would be devestated just hearing those words. Things do get better and will eventually work out if he sticks it out and wants it to work. If he's ready to chuck it all already and run back to Jamaica, he wasn't mentally prepared for the journey to begin with.

I wish only the best for you and luck in working it out.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Congrats KK..happy for u both

[^KK^ 3]

Congrats KK..happy for u both

Thanks....

[BelwinMills 0]

yardies:

I don't post much but decided to get my frustrations out with you guys, my hubby (in us on k-1) is extremely homesick and contemplating foregoing the whole process. he feels he's not cut out for this place (LA in particular usa in general), a part of me feels that this shall pass but at the same time i feel bad for him because i miss ja too and i didn't even grow up there and i feel there's not much i can do at this point to make him feel better until his AP comes through besides have him visit NYC where there's more things jamaican but he's not feelin that either he just wants to go home. advice?

This is the part where I feel we need more warnings on this board. This is not uncommon at all. And, honestly, he has to WANT to stick it out or not. He's not in Jamaica anymore. Things are totally different. And, you can only mask some of those feelings by scoping out Jamaica-related events and people. It will never be a completely Jamaican culture immersion. He HAS to get used to a different way of life if he wants to stay. If he runs back to Jamaica before AOS, he is risking everything the two of you have built thus far.

I do know all about these feelings. Andre had the same adjustment process as every other Jamaican before him. Times were extremely hard when he wasn't working (the first 7 months) and are still a work in progress (now 14 months later). Luckily, my husband never stated he wanted to chuck it all and go back. I would be devestated just hearing those words. Things do get better and will eventually work out if he sticks it out and wants it to work. If he's ready to chuck it all already and run back to Jamaica, he wasn't mentally prepared for the journey to begin with.

I wish only the best for you and luck in working it out.

IS there a hobby he loves to do? Maybe he could met like minds that way. Try GED classes to met people. I will say many guys experience this when they move up. After 3 months my husband is well adjusted and it seems like we have been living here forever but he was ready to met new people and open to the differences. My husband is going to kill me for posting this ahah. Anyways he loves shooting pool in the evenings and has met several guy friends this way and they hang out almost every night shooting pool. My husband going to school and having a hobby helps. He is also having his demo CD mailed here so he can get music gigs. I know somebodies husband it was art someone elses soccer. Does he have more than just you to hangout with? My hubby use to drive to my brothers apartments when he got sick of me and it helped for him to have manly time. This is just my two cents Good luck with everything and I hope it all works out. How long has he been here?

[BelwinMills 0]

O.K. your hubby has been here as long as mine has. Wishing you the best Maybe evening councling would work? Wish I could help more. Peace.

[BelwinMills 0]

Fiance just called Visa was APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!! He'll get it within two weeks...LOL...let's see how long it takes.

Oh, KK.....wondeful news. Congrats. Good luck to you both in the future.

Congrats and all the best with your guys journey ahead!!

[BelwinMills 0]

JAX.....you are preggo..... CONGRATZ!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I just noticed your baby ticker at the bottom of your post!!! Congrats Welcome to the club When did you find out?

I found out a week and 1/2 ago. Now I am searching for a good doctor on my insurance. No one at work can help me it sucks . They all went through there hubbies insurance cause it was way cheaper. Maybe my cousin has a doctor on my insurance plan *praying* that she can help me. I will have to start taking some folic acid and other vitamins so this morning sickness stops. I didn't even eat anything in the morning and when I woke up spew. Then to make it worse two of my students spewed on me today. My lovely day.

Thanks everyone for the congrats. I really didn't think it would happen so quickly. Rhonda how is everything going in your kneck of the woods?

[BelwinMills 0]

One More thing for CHI town peps. Maxi Priest is playing Saturday at the Carribean Festival. The cost to get in is 10 bucks let me know if you want more information. Just found this out of course my friends who play for Maxi Priest tell me at the last minute when we already have plans .

[waynegeraldine 0]

B)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Tricia B @ Sep 4 2007, 03:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->hey yardies:

I don't post much but decided to get my frustrations out with you guys, my hubby (in us on k-1) is extremely homesick and contemplating foregoing the whole process. he feels he's not cut out for this place (LA in particular usa in general), a part of me feels that this shall pass but at the same time i feel bad for him because i miss ja too and i didn't even grow up there and i feel there's not much i can do at this point to make him feel better until his AP comes through besides have him visit NYC where there's more things jamaican but he's not feelin that either he just wants to go home. advice?

I think you should both take a trip and spend a couple weeks there, I bet he will want to come back here. He might be a bit nostalgic, nostalgia only remembers the fun things.

Edited September 4, 2007 by waynegeraldine

[BelwinMills 0]

I think you should both take a trip and spend a couple weeks there, I bet he will want to come back here. He might be a bit nostalgic, nostalgia only remembers the fun things.

Does he have his green card yet to go back? Does he have any family in the states to visit?

[Dwarf_Ogress 0]

Fiance just called Visa was APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!! He'll get it within two weeks...LOL...let's see how long it takes.

OMG KK, that is great! Congrats!

[waynegeraldine 0]

I don't post much but decided to get my frustrations out with you guys, my hubby (in us on k-1) is extremely homesick and contemplating foregoing the whole process. he feels he's not cut out for this place (LA in particular usa in general), a part of me feels that this shall pass but at the same time i feel bad for him because i miss ja too and i didn't even grow up there and i feel there's not much i can do at this point to make him feel better until his AP comes through besides have him visit NYC where there's more things jamaican but he's not feelin that either he just wants to go home. advice?

This is the part where I feel we need more warnings on this board. This is not uncommon at all. And, honestly, he has to WANT to stick it out or not. He's not in Jamaica anymore. Things are totally different. And, you can only mask some of those feelings by scoping out Jamaica-related events and people. It will never be a completely Jamaican culture immersion. He HAS to get used to a different way of life if he wants to stay. If he runs back to Jamaica before AOS, he is risking everything the two of you have built thus far.

I do know all about these feelings. Andre had the same adjustment process as every other Jamaican before him. Times were extremely hard when he wasn't working (the first 7 months) and are still a work in progress (now 14 months later). Luckily, my husband never stated he wanted to chuck it all and go back. I would be devestated just hearing those words. Things do get better and will eventually work out if he sticks it out and wants it to work. If he's ready to chuck it all already and run back to Jamaica, he wasn't mentally prepared for the journey to begin with.

I wish only the best for you and luck in working it out.

Awesome post! You are so right.

[jamerican 2]

B)-->

QUOTE(Tricia B @ Sep 4 2007, 12:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hey yardies:

I don't post much but decided to get my frustrations out with you guys, my hubby (in us on k-1) is extremely homesick and contemplating foregoing the whole process. he feels he's not cut out for this place (LA in particular usa in general), a part of me feels that this shall pass but at the same time i feel bad for him because i miss ja too and i didn't even grow up there and i feel there's not much i can do at this point to make him feel better until his AP comes through besides have him visit NYC where there's more things jamaican but he's not feelin that either he just wants to go home. advice?

Has he made any connections with other Jamaicans there in LA? Does he go to the Reggae clubs/restaurants that are there? I know when visiting the LA area I was happy to see there are quite a few of both in the area unlike where I am at in Oregon. I don't know if visiting NY would be the cure as I have a couple of Jamaican friends here who started out in the NJ-NY area and found it a bit overwhelming even though they are from Kingston. There are quite a few events in the Southern CA area - check out this link for more info.. http://www.reggaemovement.com/rm1/calendar/weekly/cali.htm Good luck and if you need some contacts there let me know.

[Dwarf_Ogress 0]

Here's a question for the Yardie vets:

Have any of your fiance's been out of status before filing for AOS? If yes, for how long and were there ANY problems?

[Sonshyne 2]

Fiance just called Visa was APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!! He'll get it within two weeks...LOL...let's see how long it takes.

Congrats KK