Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[*JG* 2]

...i asked him about it and he said they were friends....when i said ok lets call...he admitted they were girls he met..

Oh my Gosh!!! I'm sorry this is happening to you. It is my worst fear too Did he say WHY he felt compelled to talk to other women??? What are you gonna do next?

Good luck with everything

First off....i want to thank EVERYONE for their kind words to me....it has reallt helped me a lot!!! it is so great to know that even though a lot of you live far away...i still have a great support team!!!

I did ask mike why....and he offered me a couple of things...none of which made me feel any better...

first he said watching the music videos and the celebs...like ummm beyonce', paris hilton ect....put thoughts into his head...also he said when he was walking past the girls and they were looking at him...for whatever reason he had to talk to them....because he wanted a "friend" and when i explained to him what i heard a friend was in Jamaica..(through in Jamie's disclamier) he agreed w/ me....so maybe it was out of anger towards me because i work a lot....or he wanted dutty wine....i don't know...just that he told all of them the same song and dance about how he was w/ his aunt and he was single...

and he did say last night...the JA girl...said well i know we can't be together(b/f,g/f) but at least we could be "friends"....

i don't know what i am going to do...a friend said wait a month to get your head on and figure it ot...which i think is a good idea...because he has been SSSSOO nice...calling me everytime he goes somewhere so...i need to see how long the mr. good guy thing last and if he goes back to the old way...

Looking at other girls and feeling the need to talk to them is a total cop out. Same with flirting with the girl in JA. He's either commited or not.

[*JG* 2]

You would ***think*** that if he WANTED to be here in the good ole opportunity USofA he'd be a complete a** kisser !!!!

He knows that he could be sent back at ANY time

I really don't think him kissing your butt is the solution to your problems!!! Is he supposed to be eternally grateful to you for bringing him here? You guys were/are supposed to be in LOVE. Isn't the whole reason he's here is so you two can be together? If you expect him to feel "indebted" to you for giving him this "wonderful opportunity" that could explain why your relationship isn't working. Also, constantly holding it over his head that he he can be deported at any time that you get the notion to do so.

I'm not saying any of this to be mean. I went through some of the same things with Tony when he first came here. Many, many times I felt he should feel grateful to me for everything I've done for him, but it doesn't work that way It has to be a 2 way street. He has to feel needed and appreciated too or it won't work. Not like you did him some giant favor by bringing him here. He had to leave his family, friends, home, job - everything he knew and loved - to come here. He made a big sacrifice too. I remind myself of this often

Well, if you ONLY knew half of our story!!! I NEVER EVER throw in his face or hold it over his head that he can be deported EVER!!! Yes, he DOES need to kiss MY a** and I think you know what I mean!!! I bend over backwards, work 2 full-time jobs, transporting everyone everywhere, doing laundry, making all the meals, cleaning, constantly making HIM feel comfortable, constantly making HIM feel needed AND appreciated ALL OF THE TIME, making sure that HE is "taken care of", making sure that "HE" is happy.....etc etc......okay, so where is MY appreciation?, making ME feel comfortable?, etc etc etc ............the CONSTANT "promises" I had waaaaay before he got here and the way things are here and the CONSTANT battle between my love (and attention) for my son and then the love for Craig......ONLY those that have children (not by our husband) truly KNOW what I'm talking about!!! You're constantly being pulled in EVERY direction and where is "my" time?????

Craig wasn't working when he came here, his closest friends and cousins are here in the states (New York and Philly), his family was ONLY his mother and she ONLY calls when she needs money. I KNOW that he made a sacrifice, but "I" have sacrificed ALOT !!!!

Trust me, those that know my very very well ...and the great friends that I've made on this site just know, that "I" have put up ALOT of #######. Yes, I would absoLUTELY LOVE for this relationship to work out. I do love Craig, but not like it was since the 1st month of him being here. "I" do NOT deserve to be treated the way I am. I do have thick skin and do not let most of his BS get to me. Sometimes I take out the frustration on my son, which is NOT good. I'm ONLY HUMAN !!! Craig's bags have been packed for over a month, he says ALLLLLL of the time he's leaving. He wants ME to pay for him to leave and at one point I was going to. He will NOT go and stay with his family and friends................NO CLUE WHY??? He's EXTREEEMELY jealous of my friendships (mostly because they are men), he's EXTREEEMELY insecure with my relationship with my son !!

When my son wasn't here over spring break, we had a WONDERFUL time together, getting back to the way it was the 1st month that he got here.....an hour before my son came home he TOTALLY TOTALLY CHANGED **BACK** to jerk-off Craig !!!!

At this point, if he leaves.....say-la-ve.....if he stays he KNOWS he has to change alot of the ways he "acts" (which he NEVER EVER acted that way for the yr 1/2 that I knew him before he came here).

I know that Craig loves me. I'm his 1st **real** relationship and on top of that with a child. He KNEW my son and spent ALOT of time with him before he came here. HE throws in MY face ALLLLL of the time, well, if your son needed shoes you'd go and buy them for him, if your son needed this and that, you would go and buy them for him. He canNOT see that my son is a CHILD (even though he's 13), he's still a child who solely depends on ONLY me. His father is not and has never been in the picture. I really don't **think** that "I" shound need to defend myself EVERYtime in regards to my son??!!!

This flippin relationship is unlike any I've ever been in. I've never had to be torn between 2 people I love the most!!! As Shauna said, it's another day...........but..........getting through each day, touch and it's NOT supposed to be THIS TOUGH !!!

Oh.....and for the person that said "I'm whining"........okay, maybe right now I am.......yes, I did have some red flags. Asked God to show me this and/or that.....and yeah, I DO kick my butt for NOT "listening" to those signs, but things do happen for a reason and we sometimes will never know what exactly those reasons are....

Oh, dear. This could've been me in a previous relationship I was in. Because of this, I get all of this completely. Been there, done some of that. I am so sorry.

We've talked before. Please, if you ever need to talk anymore....just hollar.

You would ***think*** that if he WANTED to be here in the good ole opportunity USofA he'd be a complete a** kisser !!!!

He knows that he could be sent back at ANY time

I really don't think him kissing your butt is the solution to your problems!!! Is he supposed to be eternally grateful to you for bringing him here? You guys were/are supposed to be in LOVE. Isn't the whole reason he's here is so you two can be together? If you expect him to feel "indebted" to you for giving him this "wonderful opportunity" that could explain why your relationship isn't working. Also, constantly holding it over his head that he he can be deported at any time that you get the notion to do so.

I'm not saying any of this to be mean. I went through some of the same things with Tony when he first came here. Many, many times I felt he should feel grateful to me for everything I've done for him, but it doesn't work that way It has to be a 2 way street. He has to feel needed and appreciated too or it won't work. Not like you did him some giant favor by bringing him here. He had to leave his family, friends, home, job - everything he knew and loved - to come here. He made a big sacrifice too. I remind myself of this often

Well, if you ONLY knew half of our story!!! I NEVER EVER throw in his face or hold it over his head that he can be deported EVER!!! Yes, he DOES need to kiss MY a** and I think you know what I mean!!! I bend over backwards, work 2 full-time jobs, transporting everyone everywhere, doing laundry, making all the meals, cleaning, constantly making HIM feel comfortable, constantly making HIM feel needed AND appreciated ALL OF THE TIME, making sure that HE is "taken care of", making sure that "HE" is happy.....etc etc......okay, so where is MY appreciation?, making ME feel comfortable?, etc etc etc ............the CONSTANT "promises" I had waaaaay before he got here and the way things are here and the CONSTANT battle between my love (and attention) for my son and then the love for Craig......ONLY those that have children (not by our husband) truly KNOW what I'm talking about!!! You're constantly being pulled in EVERY direction and where is "my" time?????

Craig wasn't working when he came here, his closest friends and cousins are here in the states (New York and Philly), his family was ONLY his mother and she ONLY calls when she needs money. I KNOW that he made a sacrifice, but "I" have sacrificed ALOT !!!!

Trust me, those that know my very very well ...and the great friends that I've made on this site just know, that "I" have put up ALOT of #######. Yes, I would absoLUTELY LOVE for this relationship to work out. I do love Craig, but not like it was since the 1st month of him being here. "I" do NOT deserve to be treated the way I am. I do have thick skin and do not let most of his BS get to me. Sometimes I take out the frustration on my son, which is NOT good. I'm ONLY HUMAN !!! Craig's bags have been packed for over a month, he says ALLLLLL of the time he's leaving. He wants ME to pay for him to leave and at one point I was going to. He will NOT go and stay with his family and friends................NO CLUE WHY??? He's EXTREEEMELY jealous of my friendships (mostly because they are men), he's EXTREEEMELY insecure with my relationship with my son !!

When my son wasn't here over spring break, we had a WONDERFUL time together, getting back to the way it was the 1st month that he got here.....an hour before my son came home he TOTALLY TOTALLY CHANGED **BACK** to jerk-off Craig !!!!

At this point, if he leaves.....say-la-ve.....if he stays he KNOWS he has to change alot of the ways he "acts" (which he NEVER EVER acted that way for the yr 1/2 that I knew him before he came here).

I know that Craig loves me. I'm his 1st **real** relationship and on top of that with a child. He KNEW my son and spent ALOT of time with him before he came here. HE throws in MY face ALLLLL of the time, well, if your son needed shoes you'd go and buy them for him, if your son needed this and that, you would go and buy them for him. He canNOT see that my son is a CHILD (even though he's 13), he's still a child who solely depends on ONLY me. His father is not and has never been in the picture. I really don't **think** that "I" shound need to defend myself EVERYtime in regards to my son??!!!

This flippin relationship is unlike any I've ever been in. I've never had to be torn between 2 people I love the most!!! As Shauna said, it's another day...........but..........getting through each day, touch and it's NOT supposed to be THIS TOUGH !!!

Oh.....and for the person that said "I'm whining"........okay, maybe right now I am.......yes, I did have some red flags. Asked God to show me this and/or that.....and yeah, I DO kick my butt for NOT "listening" to those signs, but things do happen for a reason and we sometimes will never know what exactly those reasons are....

Do you mind if I ask, why are you allowing HIM to make the decision of whether he stays or goes? It's your life. If you are unhappy and feel that he is not doing what he needs to do in order to stay, why not just change the locks or something?

Tread lightly there. I have a friend in Canada who is going through this very thing. Her soon-to-be ex is making her life hell.

[Jamaicagyaldat 1]

...i asked him about it and he said they were friends....when i said ok lets call...he admitted they were girls he met..

Oh my Gosh!!! I'm sorry this is happening to you. It is my worst fear too Did he say WHY he felt compelled to talk to other women??? What are you gonna do next?

Good luck with everything

First off....i want to thank EVERYONE for their kind words to me....it has reallt helped me a lot!!! it is so great to know that even though a lot of you live far away...i still have a great support team!!!

I did ask mike why....and he offered me a couple of things...none of which made me feel any better...

first he said watching the music videos and the celebs...like ummm beyonce', paris hilton ect....put thoughts into his head...also he said when he was walking past the girls and they were looking at him...for whatever reason he had to talk to them....because he wanted a "friend" and when i explained to him what i heard a friend was in Jamaica..(through in Jamie's disclamier) he agreed w/ me....so maybe it was out of anger towards me because i work a lot....or he wanted dutty wine....i don't know...just that he told all of them the same song and dance about how he was w/ his aunt and he was single...

and he did say last night...the JA girl...said well i know we can't be together(b/f,g/f) but at least we could be "friends"....

i don't know what i am going to do...a friend said wait a month to get your head on and figure it ot...which i think is a good idea...because he has been SSSSOO nice...calling me everytime he goes somewhere so...i need to see how long the mr. good guy thing last and if he goes back to the old way...

Looking at other girls and feeling the need to talk to them is a total cop out. Same with flirting with the girl in JA. He's either commited or not.

Alright you tell that bumborasclat man that he is a bioy in a man's body. You tell him that if he needs a FRIEND he should have stayed in Ja where most of the girls are down with dat. He can straighten up and fly right or dont fly at all. AND mostly fight for your marriage, but if he chooses to be ignorant tell him you can't accept someone IGNORANT AND DAAAAAAARK......GROW UP OR MOVE ON...

[*JG* 2]

Kelly, If you were my sister, I would tell you where to go with this nonsense. I am the last person who could judge someone, but as an outsider looking in...Yes it is your life. but it is time to be descisive here. Honestly. I hear resentment when you speak about Craig. He dosen't owe you a damn thing!! and If I truely wanted him gone I wouldn't giva a rats flying you know what about what my neighbors think. The truth is You love this man and you want to make this work. The big question is does he love you? Do you feel good, and deep down he makes you feel good, if the answer is no, YOU should be the one makeing the choice. A Man, a mature man, who is sure of himself would never ever compete for your attention with your son. You say this is not affecting your son but why would he make that statement" You don't make Craig......." your son isn't crazy and neither is Craig. He has a lot of growing up to do in my opinion. I worry about your sanity. I truely hope you can have peace in your life. He will never leave b/c he knows you are not going to make him.

I don't agree. We all know the trials and tribulations of this truly difficult and long process. It isn't only the Jamaican who gives up everything they know. I have had to rearrange my life more times then I like to count during this process. As I expected Jomo to do everything he could along the way to make it go smoothly, I still expect the same. I expect his love and attention. I expect him to adjust. I expect him to work hard. And, I expect him to respect me and work out our differences in an adult manner. I would be babying him if I didn't. He is a man, not a child. I don't baby him.

...i asked him about it and he said they were friends....when i said ok lets call...he admitted they were girls he met..

Oh my Gosh!!! I'm sorry this is happening to you. It is my worst fear too Did he say WHY he felt compelled to talk to other women??? What are you gonna do next?

Good luck with everything

First off....i want to thank EVERYONE for their kind words to me....it has reallt helped me a lot!!! it is so great to know that even though a lot of you live far away...i still have a great support team!!!

I did ask mike why....and he offered me a couple of things...none of which made me feel any better...

first he said watching the music videos and the celebs...like ummm beyonce', paris hilton ect....put thoughts into his head...also he said when he was walking past the girls and they were looking at him...for whatever reason he had to talk to them....because he wanted a "friend" and when i explained to him what i heard a friend was in Jamaica..(through in Jamie's disclamier) he agreed w/ me....so maybe it was out of anger towards me because i work a lot....or he wanted dutty wine....i don't know...just that he told all of them the same song and dance about how he was w/ his aunt and he was single...

and he did say last night...the JA girl...said well i know we can't be together(b/f,g/f) but at least we could be "friends"....

i don't know what i am going to do...a friend said wait a month to get your head on and figure it ot...which i think is a good idea...because he has been SSSSOO nice...calling me everytime he goes somewhere so...i need to see how long the mr. good guy thing last and if he goes back to the old way...

Looking at other girls and feeling the need to talk to them is a total cop out. Same with flirting with the girl in JA. He's either commited or not.

Alright you tell that bumborasclat man that he is a bioy in a man's body. You tell him that if he needs a FRIEND he should have stayed in Ja where most of the girls are down with dat. He can straighten up and fly right or dont fly at all. AND mostly fight for your marriage, but if he chooses to be ignorant tell him you can't accept someone IGNORANT AND DAAAAAAARK......GROW UP OR MOVE ON...

Amen!!!!!!!!!!

[Yaads 0]

I don't agree. We all know the trials and tribulations of this truly difficult and long process. It isn't only the Jamaican who gives up everything they know. I have had to rearrange my life more times then I like to count during this process. As I expected Jomo to do everything he could along the way to make it go smoothly, I still expect the same. I expect his love and attention. I expect him to adjust. I expect him to work hard. And, I expect him to respect me and work out our differences in an adult manner. I would be babying him if I didn't. He is a man, not a child. I don't baby him.

I have to agree whole heartedly with this

While I do have grace, patience and compassion for all the adjustment and changes that are going to be happening I still expect him to behave as a man and not a child. I expect him to handle things maturely and to act as the head of our household. Life isn’t easy not matter what situations are thrown your way but it is still your choice how you react and respond. I signed up to be the wife not the mommy.

[Minfay 0]

I don't agree. We all know the trials and tribulations of this truly difficult and long process. It isn't only the Jamaican who gives up everything they know. I have had to rearrange my life more times then I like to count during this process. As I expected Jomo to do everything he could along the way to make it go smoothly, I still expect the same. I expect his love and attention. I expect him to adjust. I expect him to work hard. And, I expect him to respect me and work out our differences in an adult manner. I would be babying him if I didn't. He is a man, not a child. I don't baby him.

I have to agree whole heartedly with this

While I do have grace, patience and compassion for all the adjustment and changes that are going to be happening I still expect him to behave as a man and not a child. I expect him to handle things maturely and to act as the head of our household. Life isn’t easy not matter what situations are thrown your way but it is still your choice how you react and respond. I signed up to be the wife not the mommy.

AMEN SISTAS!!

[brownnskinn 0]

Kelly, If you were my sister, I would tell you where to go with this nonsense. I am the last person who could judge someone, but as an outsider looking in...Yes it is your life. but it is time to be descisive here. Honestly. I hear resentment when you speak about Craig. He dosen't owe you a damn thing!! and If I truely wanted him gone I wouldn't giva a rats flying you know what about what my neighbors think. The truth is You love this man and you want to make this work. The big question is does he love you? Do you feel good, and deep down he makes you feel good, if the answer is no, YOU should be the one makeing the choice. A Man, a mature man, who is sure of himself would never ever compete for your attention with your son. You say this is not affecting your son but why would he make that statement" You don't make Craig......." your son isn't crazy and neither is Craig. He has a lot of growing up to do in my opinion. I worry about your sanity. I truely hope you can have peace in your life. He will never leave b/c he knows you are not going to make him.

I don't agree. We all know the trials and tribulations of this truly difficult and long process. It isn't only the Jamaican who gives up everything they know. I have had to rearrange my life more times then I like to count during this process. As I expected Jomo to do everything he could along the way to make it go smoothly, I still expect the same. I expect his love and attention. I expect him to adjust. I expect him to work hard. And, I expect him to respect me and work out our differences in an adult manner. I would be babying him if I didn't. He is a man, not a child. I don't baby him.

We all expect these things. It's natural But I don't feel that they are "owed" to me. You give I give. We work toward mutuial understanding. We want our husbands to want to give them to us. I don't want a man to feel like he has to do anything. It a two way street. If the feelings are not mirrored then something is wrong.

I don't agree. We all know the trials and tribulations of this truly difficult and long process. It isn't only the Jamaican who gives up everything they know. I have had to rearrange my life more times then I like to count during this process. As I expected Jomo to do everything he could along the way to make it go smoothly, I still expect the same. I expect his love and attention. I expect him to adjust. I expect him to work hard. And, I expect him to respect me and work out our differences in an adult manner. I would be babying him if I didn't. He is a man, not a child. I don't baby him.

I have to agree whole heartedly with this

While I do have grace, patience and compassion for all the adjustment and changes that are going to be happening I still expect him to behave as a man and not a child. I expect him to handle things maturely and to act as the head of our household. Life isn’t easy not matter what situations are thrown your way but it is still your choice how you react and respond. I signed up to be the wife not the mommy.

[nyseness 0]

I personally think all men cheat....maybe not during the entire relationship but at some point. I don't know one man that never cheated in his life!! I'm just so sorry it happen to you Shauna. I too know how you feel it happened to me more then once. ((((hugs))))

Wow I know a few men who have never on their girlfriends spouse. My mom and dad are great proof been married happily for 36 years. Most of my best friends in High School all their parents have been together for over 30 years.

There is a happily ever after out there if both people are dedicated to the goods and the bads.

Shauna wishing you all the best through this difficult time.

Yea I know several couples that have been happily married for 30+ yrs but that doesn't mean they never made a mistake. Heck my parents have been married for 35 yrs and they're the strongest couple I have seen in many years so I know it's possible. It happens no one is perfect...it's just how you deal w/the situation.

[marias 0]

I don't agree. We all know the trials and tribulations of this truly difficult and long process. It isn't only the Jamaican who gives up everything they know. I have had to rearrange my life more times then I like to count during this process. As I expected Jomo to do everything he could along the way to make it go smoothly, I still expect the same. I expect his love and attention. I expect him to adjust. I expect him to work hard. And, I expect him to respect me and work out our differences in an adult manner. I would be babying him if I didn't. He is a man, not a child. I don't baby him.

I have to agree whole heartedly with this

While I do have grace, patience and compassion for all the adjustment and changes that are going to be happening I still expect him to behave as a man and not a child. I expect him to handle things maturely and to act as the head of our household. Life isn’t easy not matter what situations are thrown your way but it is still your choice how you react and respond. I signed up to be the wife not the mommy.

AMEN SISTAS!!

Hello everyone, its been along time since i have posted anything on VJ. There maybe be some people who remember me. My husband was denied last year for marijuana and wont be eligible until 2008. My message is to nannygirl really. Because i know you are going through a difficult time right now and it seems to be the worst time of your life. But during the time that you were not with your husband he was doing his own thing. The thing you have to look at is how well did you know him before you married him. The other thing is when you wanted to marry a jamaican man did you realize how they are. Of course you probably want the whole one on one deal. But men are always looking for new fish to fry. Not all men of course but some of them. So now you have to settle yourself in for the ride. I wouldnt say throw it all away because of one incident. Just know that this is just the beginning and what he was doing in jamaica he is still doing. I dont want to sound insensitive to your issue not by far. Im only saying that you are going to fly with it or be miserable with out your man. So keep your head up and just do what you have to do.

[Shemmy 4]

Hey Maria, how are you??? Good to see you.

[*JG* 2]

I don't like the "you know how they are" comment. My husband is not like that. Never has been. There are many, many good Jamaican men out there. If he's a dog, he's a dog....call it like it is. If he wants to have "friends" he needs to move along. Otherwise, he is in a committed relationship and he needs to shape up.

Also wanted to comment on the deportation comment that came about because of Luv's post. If we were talking about an American man and an American woman and she said she was going to toss him out to the curb, there would not be this discussion. Same thing. If he needs to go, he needs to go. If that means he stays in the US or hightails it back to Jamaica, that is up to him. She is threateing to boot him out the door cause living together is looking like it is not a viable option anymore.

I don't think you are whining, Kelly. I think you are just telling it like it is.

[nyseness 0]

quote]

3 Months???? Just out of curiosity, how was it almost a problem? Was he able to do something to clear it up?

Well, to be honest and only a few knew the real truth about this, but heck....why not tell everyone now....to try to help others....Craig WAS going to denied. I'll really never ever know the *exact* truth because of the many maaaaany lies I've been told by him. When I went down for my interview "I" personally just KNEW that he was going to be denied because I just knew he could never stop. He "stopped" about 2 weeks prior. When we went for the interview his medical wasn't at the Embassy yet.....so before we left Kingston we went over to the medical place to find out what was going on. Craig "said" he spoke to the Lab supervisor...she said his file had already gone to the Embassy....Embassy said they didn't have it....so she asked for his number and said she'll research and call him as soon as possible. We were hanging out at Sandals Whitehouse getting TOTALLY drunk and he received a phone call from her telling her that his test came back positive and for a "price" she could "make it go away"!!!! I was SOOOO PISSED OFF it was not even funny. "I" was NOT going to pay....so Craig had to come up with $330 US dollars. I ended up giving him $100 but after I got back to the states and had to reeeeally think 'bout it. STUPID ME !!!!!!!!!

Wow...I'm sure he was glad he took care of it. He was lucky b/c I know another person that tried the same thing but was denied.

quote]

3 Months???? Just out of curiosity, how was it almost a problem? Was he able to do something to clear it up?

Well, to be honest and only a few knew the real truth about this, but heck....why not tell everyone now....to try to help others....Craig WAS going to denied. I'll really never ever know the *exact* truth because of the many maaaaany lies I've been told by him. When I went down for my interview "I" personally just KNEW that he was going to be denied because I just knew he could never stop. He "stopped" about 2 weeks prior. When we went for the interview his medical wasn't at the Embassy yet.....so before we left Kingston we went over to the medical place to find out what was going on. Craig "said" he spoke to the Lab supervisor...she said his file had already gone to the Embassy....Embassy said they didn't have it....so she asked for his number and said she'll research and call him as soon as possible. We were hanging out at Sandals Whitehouse getting TOTALLY drunk and he received a phone call from her telling her that his test came back positive and for a "price" she could "make it go away"!!!! I was SOOOO PISSED OFF it was not even funny. "I" was NOT going to pay....so Craig had to come up with $330 US dollars. I ended up giving him $100 but after I got back to the states and had to reeeeally think 'bout it. STUPID ME !!!!!!!!!

Wow...I'm sure he was glad he took care of it. He was lucky b/c I know another person that tried the same thing but was denied.

[marias 0]

Hey Maria, how are you??? Good to see you.

hi how u been? im in florida. so hows my hometown?

[Shemmy 4]

Wow...I'm sure he was glad he took care of it. He was lucky b/c I know another person that tried the same thing but was denied.

I know 3 other people who paid "hush money"...one of them were still denied.

I spoke to a consular officer who used to work in Kingston and she told me it is the consular officer's decision how long it will be before they can come back....she used to tell people to come back in six months while others were told 10 years

[marias 0]

I don't like the "you know how they are" comment. My husband is not like that. Never has been. There are many, many good Jamaican men out there. If he's a dog, he's a dog....call it like it is. If he wants to have "friends" he needs to move along. Otherwise, he is in a committed relationship and he needs to shape up.

Also wanted to comment on the deportation comment that came about because of Luv's post. If we were talking about an American man and an American woman and she said she was going to toss him out to the curb, there would not be this discussion. Same thing. If he needs to go, he needs to go. If that means he stays in the US or hightails it back to Jamaica, that is up to him. She is threateing to boot him out the door cause living together is looking like it is not a viable option anymore.

I don't think you are whining, Kelly. I think you are just telling it like it is.

i dont know if your comment was directed toward me. but really i dont see that her relationship has to be over because he has friends. i dont think he has to be a dog either because he wants to have friends. maybe they need to have a better understanding about having outside relationships. he is a committed relationship... What does that mean? Does that mean she owns the rights to him and he cant have friends.