Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[SupportOAFJF 0]

One thing that I really don't hear many people talking about in this thread is the stigma associated with Jamaicans and them doing anything for their opportunity. This may be something that was previously discussed but I may have not joined at that time. I'm just really curious to know what people's thoughts are about this particularly topic. Honestly speaking, I'm pretty confident that my fiance is with me an only me and not only looking for the opportunity but there is always that negative thought of it not working out (due to my pessimistic thinking). Of course many of us wouldn't complete this process if we had an incline. The way that I look at it is: There are many marriages that do not work out even when they meet here from their own country! My main reason for asking is because many of my family members and friends are against my current relationship. Yes I'm grown but their opinions do matter to me. And get this, all of my family members and friendsare Jamaican. Their mindset is that they will not provided the opportunity for someone to come up off of them. Now me personally, I can't just assume that everyone is the same.

My experience prior to this relationship is that I did run into a Gigolo in Jamaica at margaritaville by the name of Tony (Aston Brooks) and it just amazed me how some people really choose to live their lives. It obviously didn't last too long because my gut feeling told me the truth about him but if I would have allowed to happen it would have. I was so hurt when it all came out but just the audacity of many people out here is mind boggling. I prayed to god that he would send me signs to take me away from Tony and he did. He sent many of them.

I'm just asking that you all shed some of your thoughts by response. Besides this thread needs some excitement. Thanks

If you read back on pages from April (I think) and maybe pages 30-40-ish....from part 4 there was lots of talk about stuff. Yes, alot couldn't take the "mean" things a very few were saying and we lost ALOT of "veterans" (that have been on here for 2 or more years. I would say 99% of us on the VJ site are **with** Jamaicans and the relationship(s) we talk about are with **our** Jamaican man or woman and how we have dealt with our adversities and challenges within our "own" Jamaican/American relathionships. Some, took that as being "personal", but .....we are being honest about what we have personally been through within *our* own relathionship. "I" personally LOVE to have the "real deal" told to me. I **wish** there were folks that would have shared with me the honest truth about their relationships when I was in the midst of bringing Craig here. Shoot, I WISH there were those on here that would share their *real* stories (that aren't together) to be able to help some that just lurk around.

Craig and I have been through ALOT (as most) and more than I ever imagined and actually have ever been through with any other relationship. My parents and family members have no idea about Craig and our almost 3 yr relationship.....nor will I share with them because I'm not going to subject me, my son or Craig to all of their negativity, especially with all of the ####### that we've been through.....just not going to deal with it. My cousin who I've been close to since we were born, doesn't "agree" with our relationship, and it's very unfortunate that we just don't communicate any more....for over a yr now.

Like Rhonda, I'm white....but there's an age difference between me and Craig. Craig HAS changed ***ALOT*** being here (and not all for the better) and we've had many challenges within our marriage.

I am one to chat about my personal relationship......I'm not scurred to tell what we've been through, but I too know ALOT that I've met on here in the past 2 yrs that have not made it, or are still having "issues/problems", but won't share their stories. I do truly admire those relationships (on here) that have nothing but positive things happen to them.

All I say is...................things happen for a reason!!! Be real....share.....trust me, it helps !!! If someone asks for advice/opinions and it may be a little *to real*....we're just trying to help, shed light, whatever you want to call it.

Dwain has almost been here once. Everything has been wonderful. One little argument over his driving but he is doing really good right now and if he drives bad I just joke and tell people to get off the road a crazy Jamaican has moved in and he laughs.

He is right now at the college training to see if he can make the soccer team. He got a call today and said he needed to show up for training he was great it is my lucky day. He isn't in the best of shape he should be dragging when he comes into tonight. On Wednesday he gets to play with the guys and he is so happy. We have my mom's car until the end of September which really helps with independence. We are considering buying him a mini van cause we found out that he needs a Upright String bass for college. They don't except electric gutiar audiences at NIU. Right now he says he is enjoying his time off playing video games all day and chatting on the internet . He is also studying out of some GED books for his math and reading placement test at college next week. Really all in all is going smoothly and he wishes he would of moved here earlier. We don't need to prove anything to anybody. It doesn't fell much different with him here as it felt when I was in Jamaica.

Dwain was excited today when he got his welcome letter to the USA but he asked where are my cards. The sheet said they should be here by July 18th. I think he wants a part time job.

I really don't recall how everyones first month went with their SO. Did it go this smooth for everyone else? Six more days of work until summer break whoopie.

Marlon texted me to let me know that he finally received his police certificate from the UK as well as Packet 3. It says the Visa fee is $335.00 US?!?!?!

why so much? What happened to the 100US dollar fee?

That's why I am trying to get some clarification from the people who recently went through it!

Also, the packet asks for an I-864 but I had emailed the embassy and the reply was I only need the I-134?

I know we have a CR1 but we only paid 550 JA at the window. It said 335 for us on the sheet to so I was preparied to pay the fee but we did not need the cash. I don't think the K-1's have to pay all 335 dollars either.

Why would u think you have to pay another $335 when you already paid it at least I thought..Cause when they request the $335 plus the affidavit fee $70..to tell u the truth I didn't think there was anything else to pat for...can u explain what that $550 JA was ? I just think these forms are out dated thats what I think..and the can't update this for ppl information...

It says 335 on the packet 4 sheet. The 550 JA is for the delivery fee of the visa.

Ahhh..oh ok...got it

[Dwarf_Ogress 0]

As far as I understand it there should only be a $100.00US fee for the Visa as well as the $550JA for the courier? Let's hope so anyways!

Where's Sonshyne & JG on this one?!?! Or anyone else who recently did a K1?

[rhondapayter 0]

Here's another, this was actually published by the Observer in Jamaica a few months back

Very good! You really do have a special knack for writing.

[rhondapayter 0]

Rhonda-girl....what in the world are you going to do with a baby that has diarrhea? I would change a hundred litter boxes than go through the changing of diapers!

Oh Tooooony!! It's your turn to change the diaper!

I will make the sacrifice for a baby. I'm just not a cat person - I LOVE dogs!

[rhondapayter 0]

My fiance and I are currently awaiting an interview date. The embassy did email me saying that our appointment wouldn't be until sometime in August 2007. It is kind of far away but then its great because now I may have the opportunity to go with him to the interview.

Hey Shonnie,

I would definately go to the interview with him if at all possible. YOU are the best proof he can show the embassy that the relationship is legit. I have never seen them blue-slip a couple who attends the interview together (unless they're missing some vital paperwork that is required).

Good luck to you

[rhondapayter 0]

I don't know what the future may hold just know I can't see myself w/out my baby.

Exactly!!

[rhondapayter 0]

Marlon texted me to let me know that he finally received his police certificate from the UK as well as Packet 3. It says the Visa fee is $335.00 US?!?!?!

The K-1 Visa is only $100. That price (I think) is for the K-3 or CR1.

[DonnaJay 0]

If megaphone lets us down...then I'll give noblecom a try.

I signed up with nobecom calling card service. I could not find on the site where to go to see my calling history, which I would like to have for the interview. I emailed nobelcom. This is part of their reply:

"Unfortunately, we do not currently offer call records, either printed or online.

Due to the privacy laws governing unlisted telephone numbers, customer

service is not able to release complete phone numbers from the detailed

records of a prepaid phone card account.

We can, however, provide limited information. If you have specific

questions regarding one call, you may call the customer service number

listed with your order. On a limited basis, a representative can tell you

the date, time, duration of call, originating area code and destination

area code only.

For additional call detail information, or multiple phone calls per

record, you may send us a notarized letter or go to your local law

enforcement office to apply for a subpoena. Law enforcement officers or your

legal counsel can contact us for instructions on where to submit the

subpoena."

This is a lot to go through just for calling records that other companys give access to with their accounts. I will not be recharging my card with nobelcom after I use the last few minutes that are left.

[BelwinMills 0]

Marlon texted me to let me know that he finally received his police certificate from the UK as well as Packet 3. It says the Visa fee is $335.00 US?!?!?!

The K-1 Visa is only $100. That price (I think) is for the K-3 or CR1.

The CR1 visa all you pay for the day of your interview is 550JA's or 7 US.

[*JG* 2]

Marlon texted me to let me know that he finally received his police certificate from the UK as well as Packet 3. It says the Visa fee is $335.00 US?!?!?!

That's what you pay here when you file AOS. That, plus $70 for biometrics. Ignore that....I freaked out about it too.

For the interview you need to pay the paymaster $100 before it, and pay for the courier fee, which was $40 when Andre went through last year.

[12/11/2006 0]

As far as I understand it there should only be a $100.00US fee for the Visa as well as the $550JA for the courier? Let's hope so anyways!

Where's Sonshyne & JG on this one?!?! Or anyone else who recently did a K1?

My fiance and I are basically in the exact step that you are in the K-1 process. We received packet 3 and the paper list that the cost of the visa is $100.00US so I'm not sure if they went up on their prices or not but I hope not.

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Howdy all,

I have been reading all the threads encouraging people to post their thoughts on certain topics and some wondering why some people don't come by more often to share their pain.

I am not sure where to begin. There are so many people who frequent this thread and have no frame of reference for some of the experiences mentioned - negative family and friends, scheming JA men, gigolos, users, etc. While, on the other hand, some aspects are familiar to us.

I only know ONE Jamaican man enough to comment on...and that is my husband. Prior to meeting him, I had no dealings with any Jamaican...or West Indian men for that matter. I am Guyanese born but spent many years in the midwest and some in Germany - did not run into any Yardies there....I was mostly chased around Munich by Turks So I try hard to not come on public boards and chat about JA men...when I have nothing but speculation to offer. So I hope my silence is not mistaken for fear, cowardice or pretense.

I will say this, that I personally know of ONLY ONE person who got her heart broken by marrying someone and bringing him here, but I know many. many more who got their hearts stomped on right here stateside.

The other thing is some people are simply not disclosers - your laundry is yours and it's for your backyard only...that is a very big part of Caribbean culture. I also respect my husband and my inlaws and recognize that this is a public board, the contents of which can be easily "googled". Both my husband and my sister find this board "common" and would encourage me to find something else to do with my spare minutes. But in the original Yardie thread I found and amazing support system and diversion from the fear and worry of being separated from Henry, so I kept coming back...because everyone here was walking in my shoes...waiting for their man or woman to arrive.

Finally, for me, I can't come by here anymore as often as in the past...I am so darn busy building a life with this man. Every relationship has its ups and downs; some run more smoothly than others. As our faces differ, so do the dynamics of our relationship. The good in my marriage far, far outweighs the bad and I give God thanks for that. I could come on here every day and talk about my desire for a child, my evil sister in law and my hormones, and my husband's long hours as he tries to build a life for us, but why do that? I have a sister I can call. I have a pastor who will meet me anywhere to sit and counsel with me. And I also have the ONE person who would never betray my confidence and that is the Lord. So I choose prayer. I choose journaling. I choose a close and trusted sibling....that doesn't mean I am hiding anything. It's a choice. If you want to know what to do when you are ready to file for work authorization or preparing for your interview, I am here. But if you want my opinion on failing marriages anti Jamaican prejudice or the makeup of the yardie man....sorry I don't want to. My choice.

BUT.....I give kudos to the people who do stop by to share and share freely the good, the bad, and the ugly. I give kudos to the people who believe in keeping it real - whatever that is. But to suggest that if one has nothing negative to say then one is hiding some great disaster or falsely painting a rosy picture is unfair.

Some people are just private. Some people are just not interested in certain topics. I personally like to keep my trap shut unless I can speak with certainty. Some people come here to share "technical" immigration advice only. Some folks along the way may develop great friendships on VJ and move into that more private circle and away from this particular thread. I know I did.

So be well all. I hope you get the advice and support you need from those you are able to give it. Much love and respect,

[Yaads 0]

I love ya Elizabeth

[Yaads 0]

Here is what I have to say…cause you all know I always got something to say

To each their own. If you want to post personal stuff go right on ahead…I know hearing the good AND bad stories has helped me tremendously. If you don’t want to share…fine your choice, I will respect your decision.

Some of us don’t have the fortune of having an outlet that we can "vent” to…I don’t have any close friends or family that I feel free to share stuff with. I have tried talking to my mom a bit but learned real quick that it doesn’t work that well and that to keep the peace it is better if an “outsider” hear it all and not my family. Even though I have 9 sibs they are all younger and my sis who is 20 is not mentally developed enough to be a support system. I find that the few people I keep in contact with via email and our yardie thread is my MAIN place to let off steam, vent my disappointments, frustrations, hurt feelings, ask questions about culture, men and marriage etc. I also use prayer and journaling for the more deep aspects of my life but I also feel safe to do it here because I know that 90% of you all know EXACTLY what I am going through and feeling and there is NO ONE else in my life that even comes close. Do I put it ALL out there for people to see…no I keep that for email/calls but I do share A LOT because I know from experience that people benefit from it and can provide insight that no one else can. I am comfortable doing that…others aren’t. Again to each their own.

I understand the concern about “airing laundry”…Andre knows that I post here and he has read a lot of the posts that I write about us. I don’t keep it secret. I don’t have anything to hide. He knows that you guys are my support...my friends and he is comfortable with it. I guess the point I am trying to make is simple…feel free to post whatever you are comfortable with. If you only want to post about technical stuff…feel free. If you want to tell us all how absolutely wonderful life is…feel free. If you want to lay it all out and cry on our shoulders because things are tough…feel free. Feel free to write whatever you want. Also please realize that while you may not “air your laundry” because you aren’t comfortable or what not…others don’t necessarily feel the same way. What you may see as too personal the person may not see it that way at all. We are all different and need to tolerate the differences in a mature respectful way. To each their own. If you don’t agree/like what someone has to say…ignore it. If you don’t get any use out of it move on to the next post. If you want to comment on it…be nice and always remember that not everyone feels/thinks/believes the same way you do.

To each their own.

[^KK^ 3]

As far as I understand it there should only be a $100.00US fee for the Visa as well as the $550JA for the courier? Let's hope so anyways!

Where's Sonshyne & JG on this one?!?! Or anyone else who recently did a K1?

My fiance and I are basically in the exact step that you are in the K-1 process. We received packet 3 and the paper list that the cost of the visa is $100.00US so I'm not sure if they went up on their prices or not but I hope not.

Please let me know when your interview is scheduled.