Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[*JG* 2]

DHL I have found is very good about knowing where the package is at all times....now the embassy...that is another issue..... Good luck!

Speaking of DHL..... With all of the varied experiences on this board...when sending a package which would you prefer? DHL, FedX or USPS? I know there are pro's and con's to each one... The last package I send went via DHL and the pro was that it was there in 2 days...but the duties accessed on it were more than the shipping costs. I was thinking this time of sending via USPS but I understand it is a ####### shoot as far as to when it will arrive and if. Am I correct? What is the odd thing is that prior DHL packages never had any duties accessed so I was totally caught off guard.

Well, let's see..........the last time I used UPS, they ended up delivering to the wrong place, took 7 days instead of the 2 they promised, pointed fingers at everyone in the company, were sometimes unaccessable, did not answer any compaint mail, e-mails or call I made, and, in the end, refunded me ALL the $$$ after a long, drawn-out battle. I wouldn't use them again if they were the last company on earth!!!!!!

[*JG* 2]

Ok I have a rant I need to get off my chest. I was getting ready to go grocery shopping this morning so I decided to go online and check my bank account first. As I went thru all of the transactions I saw the the calling card that is set up for Neil to call Jamaica had been recharged several times .... I have two different calling cards that have auto recharge on them. I have custody of my nephew he uses one of thwm to call his friends in Atlanta... That card has recharged several times also The total for the month is almost $400 I went to talk to him about it ( of course I was pissed). He told me he would talk less but that he had to talk to Jamaica And for me to give him a limit I told him to let his friends from home buy a mega phone and call him, he told me that they aren't easy to get. Although most of his friends have them I had to politely remind him that I am NOT RICH

He tells me to relax my nerves and that he won't call as much. But I have a easier fix for the problem....

I'm going to take the auto recharge off and only charge it once a month. As for my nephew... I ran and I do mean FAST to the cell phone store and brought him a Damn phone!!

This will be an ongoing problem for you for a while.....the calls back to JA. It took lots of little chats to get Andre to understand how expensive the calls really were. I asked that he call his mom only once a week, his good friends the same, and his not so close friends like once a month, if he must. In the last year, I have seen a steady decline in the number of calls. And, honestly, most of his friends only call when they want $$$$, which we have learned not to answer at all. Our LD bill is down to around $40 a month now (at 17 cents a minute).

Hang in there......just stress it over and over and over again. If you get an intemized listing of the calls with times and dollar amount, that seems to help the most.

[*JG* 2]

belwin another thing you may want to look into is checking with the local animal hospitals. there's one in my town that takes in puppies/kittens, gives them appropriate shots, neuters them, and then adopts them out cheaper than petsmart. they're also healthier than animals from the shelter. keeping the litter box in the basement is a great idea, that way you won't see litter scattered on the floor in the main living area.

my fiance hates dogs (he prefers cats) and he says that when he moves in the dog is moving out. my dog has been a house dog most of her life and she couldn't handle living outside. hopefully he'll come around when he sees that she's always clean and flea-free. she even sleeps in my room at night.

Marriage is about compromise. And, moving to the US from any foreign country makes that compromise even greater on both of you. He better get a little more used to compromise, Tia.

Andre wasn't too sure about the dog until he met her. She has slept under out bed from day one.

[*JG* 2]

One thing that I really don't hear many people talking about in this thread is the stigma associated with Jamaicans and them doing anything for their opportunity. This may be something that was previously discussed but I may have not joined at that time. I'm just really curious to know what people's thoughts are about this particularly topic. Honestly speaking, I'm pretty confident that my fiance is with me an only me and not only looking for the opportunity but there is always that negative thought of it not working out (due to my pessimistic thinking). Of course many of us wouldn't complete this process if we had an incline. The way that I look at it is: There are many marriages that do not work out even when they meet here from their own country! My main reason for asking is because many of my family members and friends are against my current relationship. Yes I'm grown but their opinions do matter to me. And get this, all of my family members and friendsare Jamaican. Their mindset is that they will not provided the opportunity for someone to come up off of them. Now me personally, I can't just assume that everyone is the same.

My experience prior to this relationship is that I did run into a Gigolo in Jamaica at margaritaville by the name of Tony (Aston Brooks) and it just amazed me how some people really choose to live their lives. It obviously didn't last too long because my gut feeling told me the truth about him but if I would have allowed to happen it would have. I was so hurt when it all came out but just the audacity of many people out here is mind boggling. I prayed to god that he would send me signs to take me away from Tony and he did. He sent many of them.

I'm just asking that you all shed some of your thoughts by response. Besides this thread needs some excitement. Thanks

It's not a touchy topic for me as long as people don't stereotype all Jamaicans becasue of what they have heard of a minority of them. I have heard horror stories of the Jamaican man taking advantage of the vacationing foreigner and using a relationship for their financial advantage. I have known a few who have fallen for it. Some of Andre's friends are borderline users.

However, I know many who have successful, long-term relationships as well. My own relationship is flourishing. I have never doubted nor regretted all that went into it thus far. I adore my husband.

Like I said, I do not mind discussing the pros nor cons of this type of relationship as long as no one gets on the soapbox and says no Jamaican man can be trusted because of something some may have done. That does get my goat!!!!

[MyDestinyAwaits 0]

my fiance hates dogs (he prefers cats) and he says that when he moves in the dog is moving out.

Oh NO! What are you going to do if he can't/won't adjust to the dog being inside? I told Tony way before he came here that the dog is my baby and he's not going anywhere! He was there first anyhow! Tony's ok with it now - the only thing he doesn't like is all the dog hair.

well he knew from the first week we started talking that my dog is a house dog. i know for a fact that she can't handle living outside. she's 9 and the life expectantcy for her breed is 10-12 years. so i've decided that i just won't get another dog once she's gone. i think my fiance hates dogs so much because he's had negative experiences with them chasing him and jamaican dogs are dirty. once he sees how sweet and smart my dog is he should come around.

[luvtravlin 0]

the kittens are much bigger and VERY rambunctious. this is the stage that i hate! they are wild, yet comedic- climbing curtains, attacking your feet in the middle of the night, and knocking things over.

also, a general rule with litterboxes is to have one for each cat plus one additional.

I could never have a cat I can't stand the thought of the poop sitting there INSIDE my house stinky and gross I'd much rather have a dog who does his business OUTSIDE. Then Tony shovels it up once a week when he cuts the lawn

Do your cats tear up your furniture or do you get them de-clawed? I know they like to scratch everything.

Rhonda-girl....what in the world are you going to do with a baby that has diarrhea? I would change a hundred litter boxes than go through the changing of diapers! My litterboxes / apartments doesn't smell. I've had comments from people that say, I didn't even know you had any cats. Every couple of days I scoop out the poop and throw it in the toilet (just like you would scoop up dog poop). I use different products to make the litter smell "fresh". I've used allll kinds of litter brand products, but the best I've found that works for my boys is Fresh Step. It's a little more expensive, but it works better than what I've used in the past.

When I moved back from Arizona in 94 (and moved in with my parents briefly), my mother "made" me get my big cat declawed, sucked because he never used his claws to scratch furniture. The little sometimes tries to, put I've sprayed the areas and/or put a blanket over that part of the couch and that works from him scratching. I also bought this thing that's on the ground with a ball in it, that has a scratching thing in the middle and it's the 1st thing he touches when he gets up in the morning....to scratch.

Jax, depending on the kitten (than cat food) you buy ---wet and/or dry....or both will determine how much it will cost you monthly and how many shots they'll need (in the beginning) and where you get them from if they have been spayed or neutered. My big cat has only eaten dry food and the little one has dry plus canned (only Friskies shredded---he's WAY picky!!). The big cat gets to lick the (almost) empty can of food.

[luvtravlin 0]

One thing that I really don't hear many people talking about in this thread is the stigma associated with Jamaicans and them doing anything for their opportunity. This may be something that was previously discussed but I may have not joined at that time. I'm just really curious to know what people's thoughts are about this particularly topic. Honestly speaking, I'm pretty confident that my fiance is with me an only me and not only looking for the opportunity but there is always that negative thought of it not working out (due to my pessimistic thinking). Of course many of us wouldn't complete this process if we had an incline. The way that I look at it is: There are many marriages that do not work out even when they meet here from their own country! My main reason for asking is because many of my family members and friends are against my current relationship. Yes I'm grown but their opinions do matter to me. And get this, all of my family members and friendsare Jamaican. Their mindset is that they will not provided the opportunity for someone to come up off of them. Now me personally, I can't just assume that everyone is the same.

My experience prior to this relationship is that I did run into a Gigolo in Jamaica at margaritaville by the name of Tony (Aston Brooks) and it just amazed me how some people really choose to live their lives. It obviously didn't last too long because my gut feeling told me the truth about him but if I would have allowed to happen it would have. I was so hurt when it all came out but just the audacity of many people out here is mind boggling. I prayed to god that he would send me signs to take me away from Tony and he did. He sent many of them.

I'm just asking that you all shed some of your thoughts by response. Besides this thread needs some excitement. Thanks

If you read back on pages from April (I think) and maybe pages 30-40-ish....from part 4 there was lots of talk about stuff. Yes, alot couldn't take the "mean" things a very few were saying and we lost ALOT of "veterans" (that have been on here for 2 or more years. I would say 99% of us on the VJ site are **with** Jamaicans and the relationship(s) we talk about are with **our** Jamaican man or woman and how we have dealt with our adversities and challenges within our "own" Jamaican/American relathionships. Some, took that as being "personal", but .....we are being honest about what we have personally been through within *our* own relathionship. "I" personally LOVE to have the "real deal" told to me. I **wish** there were folks that would have shared with me the honest truth about their relationships when I was in the midst of bringing Craig here. Shoot, I WISH there were those on here that would share their *real* stories (that aren't together) to be able to help some that just lurk around.

Craig and I have been through ALOT (as most) and more than I ever imagined and actually have ever been through with any other relationship. My parents and family members have no idea about Craig and our almost 3 yr relationship.....nor will I share with them because I'm not going to subject me, my son or Craig to all of their negativity, especially with all of the ####### that we've been through.....just not going to deal with it. My cousin who I've been close to since we were born, doesn't "agree" with our relationship, and it's very unfortunate that we just don't communicate any more....for over a yr now.

Like Rhonda, I'm white....but there's an age difference between me and Craig. Craig HAS changed ***ALOT*** being here (and not all for the better) and we've had many challenges within our marriage.

I am one to chat about my personal relationship......I'm not scurred to tell what we've been through, but I too know ALOT that I've met on here in the past 2 yrs that have not made it, or are still having "issues/problems", but won't share their stories. I do truly admire those relationships (on here) that have nothing but positive things happen to them.

All I say is...................things happen for a reason!!! Be real....share.....trust me, it helps !!! If someone asks for advice/opinions and it may be a little *to real*....we're just trying to help, shed light, whatever you want to call it.

[12/11/2006 0]

Yes they are all from there. I still have a lot of family there whom I visit when I go there. Many of my aunts (grand) came and brought their families when they immigrated here and that started the generation here. I had one Aunt that sent for one and they just kept the cycle going. Once again thanks for sharing your thoughts I do truly appreciated. Who better to hear their thoughts and get ideas other than you all because you may have gone through it or is still going through and I was just asking for some advice. Thanks again

No problem Hey, what's your name? I don't want to call you 12/11/06 By the way, that's our wedding anniversary!! Where are you guys at in the process?

Lol I know right. 12/11/2006 was created when I didn't know what the heck I was doing while signing up on VJ. My real name is Shonnie. My fiance and I are currently awaiting an interview date. The embassy did email me saying that our appointment wouldn't be until sometime in August 2007. It is kind of far away but then its great because now I may have the opportunity to go with him to the interview. I just came back from Jamaica in May 07 for my birthday and I didn't really want to take another trip there until he came here and we settled in but all of this blue paper ####### at the embassy is kinda scaring us so we are just going to go together. They are so full of ####### down there its crazy. We are hoping that if we go together we will get through but I don't think that he is coming right away after. I'm in the process of trying to purchase a home and that could take forever.

[12/11/2006 0]

I personally believe that we should discuss anything and everything - especially the negative things. This is reality - not everything is going to be perfect when your significant other comes here and if you think it is you are only fooling yourself.

I agree with Rhonda...this is reality. I've heard soooooooo many horror stories from my Jamaican and American friends before I met Damien. I was hesitant to start a relationship with him but I knew in my heart that we had to be together. I went into this relationship acknowledging the good and the bad. I've met 4 other couples during this visa journey and none of them are still together. In these cases the woman were "used". No one wants to hear negative things but it does happen.

My family supported us from the beginning so we didn't have any issues with them. I thought some of my friends supported us but now I'm finding out otherwise. Damien has done well since he's been here....he is a wonderful stepfather to my daughter, a hard worker, financially stable and loves me to pieces...people are "hating" on that. I think they expected him to get here to do the total opposite. He proved them wrong. People will always find something negative to say.

At the end of the day...I love being home with my husband and daughter...they make me so happy and proud.

I know thats right! Thats great. My fiance says the same things about having to prove everyone wrong because he is also well aware of the stereotypes and its something that we talk about all of the time. I try to tell him that he doesn't have to do anything more than be himself and at the end of the day the truth will surface. To me its all in how a person was raised and what their true values are in life. He is coming from two generations of marriage and suprisingly, I am coming from "none" not grandmom, nor mother,and or sister. So i guess the paranoia really comes from me (LMAO). Its something I'm working on though! lol But no seriously, I"m just glad my fiance and I are able to discuss these issues/topics and respect and love each other even more at the end of the day. Communication is key with us. Nothing is ignored!

[SupportOAFJF 0]

I agree with Rhonda, I discuss anything . I heard most of the same things too, mostly from friends b/c my family new him already. but, I'm sure they had the thoughts in the back of their minds. Most thought we married b/c I was pregnant I had already bought my dress and went for a visit and got pregnant in the mist...does that matter ? no, all I cared was that we are finally going to be together I never explained to ANYONE my love for my husband b/c no other opinions mattered and I was tired of hearing all the negatives from everyone. I have also seen and heard many horror stories about other people. You just have to do whats best for you and thats what matters. Then you won't kick urself 5 yrs from now saying "If I knew"..just go for it...

Lovely poem Aliengirl

[SupportOAFJF 0]

I personally believe that we should discuss anything and everything - especially the negative things. This is reality - not everything is going to be perfect when your significant other comes here and if you think it is you are only fooling yourself.

I agree with Rhonda...this is reality. I've heard soooooooo many horror stories from my Jamaican and American friends before I met Damien. I was hesitant to start a relationship with him but I knew in my heart that we had to be together. I went into this relationship acknowledging the good and the bad. I've met 4 other couples during this visa journey and none of them are still together. In these cases the woman were "used". No one wants to hear negative things but it does happen.

My family supported us from the beginning so we didn't have any issues with them. I thought some of my friends supported us but now I'm finding out otherwise. Damien has done well since he's been here....he is a wonderful stepfather to my daughter, a hard worker, financially stable and loves me to pieces...people are "hating" on that. I think they expected him to get here to do the total opposite. He proved them wrong. People will always find something negative to say.

At the end of the day...I love being home with my husband and daughter...they make me so happy and proud.

I know thats right! Thats great. My fiance says the same things about having to prove everyone wrong because he is also well aware of the stereotypes and its something that we talk about all of the time. I try to tell him that he doesn't have to do anything more than be himself and at the end of the day the truth will surface. To me its all in how a person was raised and what their true values are in life. He is coming from two generations of marriage and suprisingly, I am coming from "none" not grandmom, nor mother,and or sister. So i guess the paranoia really comes from me (LMAO). Its something I'm working on though! lol But no seriously, I"m just glad my fiance and I are able to discuss these issues/topics and respect and love each other even more at the end of the day. Communication is key with us. Nothing is ignored!

That's for sure. My hsuband always says "when we're together everyone will see", We have great communication nothing is ever too much or too little to discuss. But, trust me my relationship is not perfect cause we get into it sometimes, so i will never try to paint this perfect picture, nothing or no one is perfect. So, until u realise that and face reality I think alot of people will find "better" in their life and relationship.

[12/11/2006 0]

I personally believe that we should discuss anything and everything - especially the negative things. This is reality - not everything is going to be perfect when your significant other comes here and if you think it is you are only fooling yourself.

I agree with Rhonda...this is reality. I've heard soooooooo many horror stories from my Jamaican and American friends before I met Damien. I was hesitant to start a relationship with him but I knew in my heart that we had to be together. I went into this relationship acknowledging the good and the bad. I've met 4 other couples during this visa journey and none of them are still together. In these cases the woman were "used". No one wants to hear negative things but it does happen.

My family supported us from the beginning so we didn't have any issues with them. I thought some of my friends supported us but now I'm finding out otherwise. Damien has done well since he's been here....he is a wonderful stepfather to my daughter, a hard worker, financially stable and loves me to pieces...people are "hating" on that. I think they expected him to get here to do the total opposite. He proved them wrong. People will always find something negative to say.

At the end of the day...I love being home with my husband and daughter...they make me so happy and proud.

I know thats right! Thats great. My fiance says the same things about having to prove everyone wrong because he is also well aware of the stereotypes and its something that we talk about all of the time. I try to tell him that he doesn't have to do anything more than be himself and at the end of the day the truth will surface. To me its all in how a person was raised and what their true values are in life. He is coming from two generations of marriage and suprisingly, I am coming from "none" not grandmom, nor mother,and or sister. So i guess the paranoia really comes from me (LMAO). Its something I'm working on though! lol But no seriously, I"m just glad my fiance and I are able to discuss these issues/topics and respect and love each other even more at the end of the day. Communication is key with us. Nothing is ignored!

That's for sure. My hsuband always says "when we're together everyone will see", We have great communication nothing is ever too much or too little to discuss. But, trust me my relationship is not perfect cause we get into it sometimes, so i will never try to paint this perfect picture, nothing or no one is perfect. So, until u realise that and face reality I think alot of people will find "better" in their life and relationship.

Dat a tru, dat a tru. lol thanks everyone Its been a pleasure!

[nyseness 0]

For all Chicago Yardies.

Dwain and I are going to see Buju Banton on July 4th. He was screaming he knows the keyboard play. He screamed bumbclot and took off my ears LOL.

I am also thinking of going myself. Still haven't decided.

[waynegeraldine 0]

I personally believe that we should discuss anything and everything - especially the negative things. This is reality - not everything is going to be perfect when your significant other comes here and if you think it is you are only fooling yourself.

I agree with Rhonda...this is reality. I've heard soooooooo many horror stories from my Jamaican and American friends before I met Damien. I was hesitant to start a relationship with him but I knew in my heart that we had to be together. I went into this relationship acknowledging the good and the bad. I've met 4 other couples during this visa journey and none of them are still together. In these cases the woman were "used". No one wants to hear negative things but it does happen.

My family supported us from the beginning so we didn't have any issues with them. I thought some of my friends supported us but now I'm finding out otherwise. Damien has done well since he's been here....he is a wonderful stepfather to my daughter, a hard worker, financially stable and loves me to pieces...people are "hating" on that. I think they expected him to get here to do the total opposite. He proved them wrong. People will always find something negative to say.

At the end of the day...I love being home with my husband and daughter...they make me so happy and proud.

I know thats right! Thats great. My fiance says the same things about having to prove everyone wrong because he is also well aware of the stereotypes and its something that we talk about all of the time. I try to tell him that he doesn't have to do anything more than be himself and at the end of the day the truth will surface. To me its all in how a person was raised and what their true values are in life. He is coming from two generations of marriage and suprisingly, I am coming from "none" not grandmom, nor mother,and or sister. So i guess the paranoia really comes from me (LMAO). Its something I'm working on though! lol But no seriously, I"m just glad my fiance and I are able to discuss these issues/topics and respect and love each other even more at the end of the day. Communication is key with us. Nothing is ignored!

That's for sure. My hsuband always says "when we're together everyone will see", We have great communication nothing is ever too much or too little to discuss. But, trust me my relationship is not perfect cause we get into it sometimes, so i will never try to paint this perfect picture, nothing or no one is perfect. So, until u realise that and face reality I think alot of people will find "better" in their life and relationship.

Dat a tru, dat a tru. lol thanks everyone Its been a pleasure!

In my opinion family members should either give support or genuinely wish you well or leave you the hell alone and mind their own business, what they do not realize is that by giving their support they might actually improve your chances of success.

Yes, it's a chance you are taking but hey, walking out the door in the morning is taking a chance also. You gotta live, and it's funny they will tell you who you should go find as if you can just walk into the street and snatch that "person" up. Life only works that way when you the one looking in.

What's wrong with someone gaining a husband or wife AND a chance for a better life or better opportunities.

The horror stories are the only ones you usually hear about and I believe strongly that if you being used you should know. Not even an professional actor carry on an act every minute of every day. My sister has a strong suspicion she was being used by her lying, cheating excuse for a husband , she just ignored it, she struggled with him for 5 years to get him a Green Card because he had a conviction, he left 2 months after getting the green card.

IMHO keeping you family members out of your business is doing yourself a big favor, it's hard enough to maintain a long distance relationship, you don't need people on the sidelines adding doubts and negativities.

Edited June 25, 2007 by waynegeraldine

[nyseness 0]

One thing that I really don't hear many people talking about in this thread is the stigma associated with Jamaicans and them doing anything for their opportunity. This may be something that was previously discussed but I may have not joined at that time. I'm just really curious to know what people's thoughts are about this particularly topic. Honestly speaking, I'm pretty confident that my fiance is with me an only me and not only looking for the opportunity but there is always that negative thought of it not working out (due to my pessimistic thinking). Of course many of us wouldn't complete this process if we had an incline. The way that I look at it is: There are many marriages that do not work out even when they meet here from their own country! My main reason for asking is because many of my family members and friends are against my current relationship. Yes I'm grown but their opinions do matter to me. And get this, all of my family members and friendsare Jamaican. Their mindset is that they will not provided the opportunity for someone to come up off of them. Now me personally, I can't just assume that everyone is the same.

My experience prior to this relationship is that I did run into a Gigolo in Jamaica at margaritaville by the name of Tony (Aston Brooks) and it just amazed me how some people really choose to live their lives. It obviously didn't last too long because my gut feeling told me the truth about him but if I would have allowed to happen it would have. I was so hurt when it all came out but just the audacity of many people out here is mind boggling. I prayed to god that he would send me signs to take me away from Tony and he did. He sent many of them.

I'm just asking that you all shed some of your thoughts by response. Besides this thread needs some excitement. Thanks

I am not into to discussing this I know many people have gotten upset in the past over topics like this in the yardies thread and left. My family was like yours in the first place. Then after our relationship had gone strong over 8 years gave in. My mom and dad paid for our wedding in Jamaica and that was the first time they meet my hubby. They love him very much and think he is great. No he never used me its been true love. My proffesor use to say those mean things to me all the time until 2 years ago when she realized it was true love. If this thread does turns like in the past I will leave. So no this thread doesn't need that kind of excitement.

belwin another thing you may want to look into is checking with the local animal hospitals. there's one in my town that takes in puppies/kittens, gives them appropriate shots, neuters them, and then adopts them out cheaper than petsmart. they're also healthier than animals from the shelter. keeping the litter box in the basement is a great idea, that way you won't see litter scattered on the floor in the main living area.

my fiance hates dogs (he prefers cats) and he says that when he moves in the dog is moving out. my dog has been a house dog most of her life and she couldn't handle living outside. hopefully he'll come around when he sees that she's always clean and flea-free. she even sleeps in my room at night.

Thanks for the advice!! We were trying to see if we can even afford a kitten with money so tight. We hope his welcome letter arrives next week and cards.

I do thank you for your response and its ashame that we as adults cannot discuss "reality" in a mature state of mind with one another without getting nasty and upset. I did bring this to light because the man I have chosen to marry is someone that I do plan to spend the rest of my life with and I am not going to act totally oblivious to the issues that many face. I have seen it happen to many people (not just Jamaicans) and I do consider it to be a significant topic due to my prior experiences. I apologize if I have pissed anyone off but as I did state in my initial topic " I had not joined at that time" so I cannot vouch for anything that happened before in this thread. I'm glad that you were able to stand the mean things but I still hear them everyday and its upseting! My personal feeling is that the thought is relevant and unlike many others, I did choose to speak on it and its unfortunate that the topic is so "touchy" for many that it is ignored

Good luck on your journey!

I think the topic went sour because of some of comments that were said. It turned into a battle yardies vs yankees.

I understand how you feel. My family and all my friends are also JA'n but I got the most negatively from family. My mom was hard on me at first b/c of that very same reason. She liked Javon and everything he stood for BUT knowing things could happen just wasn't worth it to her. It was hard for me b/c my mom blessing means a lot to me know. I will do whatever I choose b/c I'm grown but deep down it still bothered me. When I first started the process I made a BIG mistake by telling some ppl what was going on in my life b/c I figured they would understand, but instead it was a mess esp when our I-129f was denied. But since then we got married and only a few ppl know b/c of that very same reason. I'm a very private person so for me to express something to you really means a lot b/c it's not something I do.

Recently my mom has been asking my sister if I was married b/c she claims "she eard tory"... She heard nutin b/c I told NO ONE!!!! I think she just worries about me b/c I keep to myself. She can't figure me out.

As for being a pessimist (being a Virgo and all) it's very easy to believe. I used to drive myself crazy thinking he was using me so I made him wait for that reason. But honestly after a while you just have to follow your heart. I don't know what the future may hold just know I can't see myself w/out my baby.