Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[Yaads 0]

You guys are working on things I dunno, I just had a feeling...

Yeah I don't want to give up on my marriage. I love him a lot. He just isn't making good choices. I honestly think that living apart has helped save our marriage. Most people think that is crazy but I know that if we were still living together trying to figure this all out one of us would have killed the other by now We have a long road ahead but at least we are on a road at this point.

[brownnskinn 0]

I hope you work it all out, Jme.

Mi too.

[brownnskinn 0]

You guys are working on things I dunno, I just had a feeling...

Yeah I don't want to give up on my marriage. I love him a lot. He just isn't making good choices. I honestly think that living apart has helped save our marriage. Most people think that is crazy but I know that if we were still living together trying to figure this all out one of us would have killed the other by now We have a long road ahead but at least we are on a road at this point.

With the divorce rate so high...there has got to be better way. I think it's wonderful. I was telling you about what a struggle it is marriage, my marriage that is, but when times are good, and when are able to overcome the struggles, it make marriage, just that much more wonderful, I think it's the struggle that build the marriage.

[Jengles 0]

I have a cousin who is a heavy user, he can't even remember people who grew up with him....

[Jengles 0]

You guys are working on things I dunno, I just had a feeling...

Yeah I don't want to give up on my marriage. I love him a lot. He just isn't making good choices. I honestly think that living apart has helped save our marriage. Most people think that is crazy but I know that if we were still living together trying to figure this all out one of us would have killed the other by now We have a long road ahead but at least we are on a road at this point.

With the divorce rate so high...there has got to be better way. I think it's wonderful. I was telling you about what a struggle it is marriage, my marriage that is, but when times are good, and when are able to overcome the struggles, it make marriage, just that much more wonderful, I think it's the struggle that build the marriage.

agreed, lord knows I'm going to have work on keeping my mouth shut sometimes, after hubby comes lol

and I'm glad you are working on your marriage nowadays the in thing is to just walk away

[brownnskinn 0]

You guys are working on things I dunno, I just had a feeling...

Yeah I don't want to give up on my marriage. I love him a lot. He just isn't making good choices. I honestly think that living apart has helped save our marriage. Most people think that is crazy but I know that if we were still living together trying to figure this all out one of us would have killed the other by now We have a long road ahead but at least we are on a road at this point.

With the divorce rate so high...there has got to be better way. I think it's wonderful. I was telling you about what a struggle it is marriage, my marriage that is, but when times are good, and when are able to overcome the struggles, it make marriage, just that much more wonderful, I think it's the struggle that build the marriage.

...and I've been told by those who have relationships I admire, that if you can get through the strugggles..the pain, you can have something truly special. I wish you both the best.

and I'm glad you are working on your marriage nowadays the in thing is to just walk away

Esp. when you're PMSing

[Yaads 0]

Esp. when you're PMSing

OMG that is the WORST time...don't they know to check the calendar

[brownnskinn 0]

Esp. when you're PMSing

OMG that is the WORST time...don't they know to check the calendar

......and birthday cake, I ate three slices after an argument. The next day I aksed him to bring me personal items to work, he was like sure laughing, saying, I thought it was at the end of the month, who knew he was keeping track I don't even keep track.

Edited June 20, 2007 by Denden

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

You guys are working on things I dunno, I just had a feeling...

Yeah I don't want to give up on my marriage. I love him a lot. He just isn't making good choices. I honestly think that living apart has helped save our marriage. Most people think that is crazy but I know that if we were still living together trying to figure this all out one of us would have killed the other by now We have a long road ahead but at least we are on a road at this point.

With the divorce rate so high...there has got to be better way. I think it's wonderful. I was telling you about what a struggle it is marriage, my marriage that is, but when times are good, and when are able to overcome the struggles, it make marriage, just that much more wonderful, I think it's the struggle that build the marriage.

True. True.

I listen to Christian radio a lot and this one particular seminar talked about how when a crisis hits your marriage, you have to basically don your battle gear and get in soldier mode - the speaker said that is when you need to "rally for your marriage."

If anyone is interested, its a 3-part series called "The Wise Family Protects Their Marriage". I downloaded it to my IPOD and listened over and over and over. Part 2 was very, very good. Click here to listen http://www.oneplace.com/Ministries/Walk_in_the_Word/archives.asp?bcd=6/7/2007

[Jonesie 1]

Congrats to the approval Jlvr - and Finesse you will get approved I recommend Priceline, because you can "bid" on your own price (esp. if money is tight right now). Congrats to Missjones too.

School is a touchy subject for me - right now I am not motivated, I get up at 4am to be at work by 6am, then go home and try to do homework, eat something, have some "me" time, and still pregnant with a long way to go. I never thought things would be this hard and I am praying I get a D in this class. Jamie it is a struggle but it is not impossible . I didn't want student loans either but I consider them a blessing because without them I wouldn't be where I am right now. Look into scholarships.

Ganga may be natural but how some types are processed definitely is not. It can kill off sperm count, so I have no doubt that psychologically it can mess with one's head.

Congrats Doodle on the new home!!

Hey Eliznhenry

Edited June 20, 2007 by Jonesie

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

So we all know that ganja is very common in JA. Not everyone does it but a lot do. I have been really reading up on this subject and there is all sorts of information out there. Do you think there is long term psychological effects of smoking ganja? I am not talking casual/recreational use. I mean for someone who smoked daily for years especially as a teenager (13+). Everyone knows that as a teenager your brain is still developing and growing and with heavy ganja use there has got to be some damage...at least IMO. What do you all think? Do you see signs from your SO/family/friends that were heavy ganja users? Again I know that for people that are still using there is effects but I am specifically asking about someone who did ganja for years but is now clean and doesn't smoke...do you think there is lasting damage from all the years of smoking?

Well I hope that made sense...any insight as always is greatly appreciated. I am hoping we can have a very good informative discussion. Feel free to tell your opinon...no judgements here

That's a hard question to answer.

But in my personal opinion, I feel if you already have a predisposition to mental health problems, it can accerbate them.

Ie, if you have a family history of schizophrenia, depression etc, I think you would be more likely to experience these conditions if you smoke ganja.

My mother and father were both HEAVY users, my mother now hasn't smoked in 5 years( after smoking for AT LEAST 27 years!) can't see the slightest residual effect in her.

Again, I think it depends on usage.

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

I have friends who are so smart but yet they smoke, so IMO i think it depends on that individuals agenda.

My mother's has a MENSA range IQ of 150, she was a HEAVY user for almost 30 years!

[luvtravlin 0]

Ok so since we are always looking for topics I have a good one. It might be a little controversial but I am really interested to know...no matter what the opinion may be.

So we all know that ganja is very common in JA. Not everyone does it but a lot do. I have been really reading up on this subject and there is all sorts of information out there. Do you think there is long term psychological effects of smoking ganja? I am not talking casual/recreational use. I mean for someone who smoked daily for years especially as a teenager (13+). Everyone knows that as a teenager your brain is still developing and growing and with heavy ganja use there has got to be some damage...at least IMO. What do you all think? Do you see signs from your SO/family/friends that were heavy ganja users? Again I know that for people that are still using there is effects but I am specifically asking about someone who did ganja for years but is now clean and doesn't smoke...do you think there is lasting damage from all the years of smoking?

Well I hope that made sense...any insight as always is greatly appreciated. I am hoping we can have a very good informative discussion. Feel free to tell your opinon...no judgements here

Hey Jamie,

I absolutely and truly KNOW that there is some type of effect. I've done ALOT of research on this entire subject. Craig has smoked since he was 15 up through last year (before coming here) ALOT and I mean sometimes all day. When I would visit, rarely because my son was with me, but he would leave and come back. Craig has NO short term memory and his long term memory is very questionable. Yes, at first (and still some things) are the cultural issue, but he can't remember conversations we had a hour ago. It is THE most frustrating thing ever. I've been extreeeeemely patient..........as you know, but it was put such a toll on our marriage.

We're STILL working on things, we haven't filed for AOS yet because of us "working on things".

The reason that I haven't gotten pregnant............I know for sure is that there are NO jimmies left in the tank because of the ganga use and he continually blamed on me until I showed him the research on-line that proves it !!

I'm happy for you working it out. This is tough, no doubt about it. I would LOVE to live separately so he knows how to be responsible on his own, pay bills, etc etc. That is our LAST battle is finances, he still does NOT GET IT !!!

There is an age difference between us and yes maturity is another issue. We're having (gonna try at least) to have a romantic dinner tonight since my son is at my parents.

Kelly

[BelwinMills 0]

Newbie here, been a lurker for a year but now have started the process. Just want to say hello and hopefully I did so in the correct place....and that it actually will show up!

Welcome!!!

[BelwinMills 0]

belwin how many years teaching experience do you have? i gotta give you props cause you really have your head on your shoulders girl. i would've never thought about getting stocks (outside of an IRA) and then being able to use it to pay off college loans. how many years have you been doing that? i've always thought about using my income tax refund to do just that, but every year when that time comes around there's always some other issue pressing at me.

I have been teaching 6 years. All I do is put my tax refund of about 1500 dollars each year into the shwab account. Once you have about 1000 dollars you can invest it is pretty easy. I paid my tax man 50 dollars to get me started. Just find someone who deals with peoples fiances and they can help. I also have a girlfriend in the Chicago Stock exchange. I only with draw money if the item is going to pay off in the future and not decress in value like my house and our education.