Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[SupportOAFJF 0]

That is probably the understatement of all time. She will play him masterfully. Andre's mom uses his love and concern for his little brothers, sisters, and orphaned nieces and nephews to try and turn the screws all the time. There just comes a time when you have to say there is no money tree growing in the back yard, we are not wealthy like you think and we are struggling at this point, and if and when we can help you, we will. What you really want to do is scream into the phone that all this calling and asking is really making it worse and not helping their cause at all.Have you had issues with any of his friends yet? We've gotten calls to send anything from $20-$200 to help with food, a cell phone, buying a car, and plane tickets.

The only thing these people have accomplished is making our LD phone bill dissappear....not only do we not answer the phone, we don't make many LD calls anymore.

Amen!!!

When Andre first got here we would send money back to his grandma (the one that raised him) she never asked. NEVER. I don't mind helping her out and sending her funds, she is fantastic and she really could use that help as she is older and her husband passed away in 2005. His mom who he didn't have a lot of contact with and has just come back into the picture recently was ALWAYS calling asking for money for this and that. Used the guilt trips and telling us how they were going hungry...umm if that is the case then cut the cable, sell that nice new fridge and big screen tv, sell the stereo and the hundreds of cd's...I mean seriously if you were really in that big of a bind you wouldn't be buying up all that stuff. Call me when things are really bad...not when you just think that we have tons of money so we should be sharing. I just about lost it last year when she informed Andre that "his half of the cost of the house SHE was buying in JA for herself would be 2.8 million $JA, because you know you have to take care of and honor your mum" I don't think so :no:

Hahahaha...u r so right...they are ridiculous. At one point her kids had no contact for her..come on..and now u wanna talk about what u did, and another thing..she tells him stuff and tells him to promise not to tell ANY one..1st of all I'm not ANYONE..and 2nd u tell him something expect me to know..she thinks GOD did this for her benefits ...she's a joker

[Yaads 0]

We also had some issues with friends calling...but like you we just stopped answering if we didn't know the person. Unfortunately Andre and I weren't on the same page with all of this and he would give in to whomever called and fall for the guilt trips regularly. He has quite a lot of debt to show for it now...and ain't no one sending him money from JA

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Finesse and Jlvr where r yah...

We also had some issues with friends calling...but like you we just stopped answering if we didn't know the person. Unfortunately Andre and I weren't on the same page with all of this and he would give in to whomever called and fall for the guilt trips regularly. He has quite a lot of debt to show for it now...and ain't no one sending him money from JA

Thats what I say...I have a plan and there is nothing but GOD that can steer us from our goals...when u help everyone..who helps u and take care of u...

[morantbaygirl 0]

Finesse and Jlvr where r yah...

We also had some issues with friends calling...but like you we just stopped answering if we didn't know the person. Unfortunately Andre and I weren't on the same page with all of this and he would give in to whomever called and fall for the guilt trips regularly. He has quite a lot of debt to show for it now...and ain't no one sending him money from JA

Thats what I say...I have a plan and there is nothing but GOD that can steer us from our goals...when u help everyone..who helps u and take care of u...

OMG!!! Me and Verton just had this same conversation last night! I told him due to the cost of bringing him over here the MONEY TREE DIED!!! We pulled too many leaves off. I told him when we plant another one then he can help other people but until it grows and bare fruit I am broke . He told me yesterday when my family calls tell them I am out don't mention that I am at work .

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Finesse and Jlvr where r yah...

We also had some issues with friends calling...but like you we just stopped answering if we didn't know the person. Unfortunately Andre and I weren't on the same page with all of this and he would give in to whomever called and fall for the guilt trips regularly. He has quite a lot of debt to show for it now...and ain't no one sending him money from JA

Thats what I say...I have a plan and there is nothing but GOD that can steer us from our goals...when u help everyone..who helps u and take care of u...

OMG!!! Me and Verton just had this same conversation last night! I told him due to the cost of bringing him over here the MONEY TREE DIED!!! We pulled too many leaves off. I told him when we plant another one then he can help other people but until it grows and bare fruit I am broke . He told me yesterday when my family calls tell them I am out don't mention that I am at work .

Hahahaa..thats what u gotta do...bringing him here, raising our daughter, paying the bills...and ppl want freen ride... ..not here..we will help when WE can..this is not a dictatorship... ..it's democracy..hahhahaa..WE have to agree on Everything

[*JG* 2]

Finesse and Jlvr where r yah...

We also had some issues with friends calling...but like you we just stopped answering if we didn't know the person. Unfortunately Andre and I weren't on the same page with all of this and he would give in to whomever called and fall for the guilt trips regularly. He has quite a lot of debt to show for it now...and ain't no one sending him money from JA

Thats what I say...I have a plan and there is nothing but GOD that can steer us from our goals...when u help everyone..who helps u and take care of u...

OMG!!! Me and Verton just had this same conversation last night! I told him due to the cost of bringing him over here the MONEY TREE DIED!!! We pulled too many leaves off. I told him when we plant another one then he can help other people but until it grows and bare fruit I am broke . He told me yesterday when my family calls tell them I am out don't mention that I am at work .

Hahahaa..thats what u gotta do...bringing him here, raising our daughter, paying the bills...and ppl want freen ride... ..not here..we will help when WE can..this is not a dictatorship... ..it's democracy..hahhahaa..WE have to agree on Everything

Luckily, we do agree on this issue. I can only imagine if we did not. Not to say that we don't help. We try and have sent a little money here and there. But, not near as often as they would like, which is monthly I believe.

You guys will love this.....Andre's sister took her kids to JA and left them with my MIL till she can get her act together in NY and find a job(so she says). Alicia left $200 with my MIL to help. This is like 2 days after she called us claiming they were all starving, right.....What did they buy with that $200? Think they went and bought some food and managed to send the kids to school? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.........they went and bought a new TV. Whatever, is now what I say to her requests. Whatever.

I know of one person who said her guy plans on regularly sending money to his mom and sisters cause he is the main breadwinner now. I just shake my head and pray for her and her man.....we all know the expenses don't just end cause he gets here with you. We all know jobs are not as forthcoming as we would like. We all know the paperwork is still slow and frustrating. We all know we have to sometimes dig out of the visa journey hole we dug ourselves. And, we all know the expenses seem to keep on coming even if you don't want them too.

I wish there was some kind of class WE could teach on this. Our experiences alone are priceless to newbies.

[Yaads 0]

Exactly! We sent money the first Christmas Andre got here. A good amount of money might I add. We sent a lump sum to go towards groceries/bills and then money to be divided between all the brothers. Well needless to say they divided the money between themselves and then spent the grocery/bill money taking holiday all the way across the island. Not even one day after they took their holiday did we get the next phone call informing Andre that he needed to send x amount of dollars or the light would be shut off. I very nicely informed them to buy some candles.

The thing is...she always calls with a crisis - the lights are being shut off, no food, so and so needs meds, they need to visit the doc etc and "there is no way we can do it without your help" yet when we let them know there will be no help they miraculously come up with the money EVERY TIME. Especially if it is something frivoulous. "I need a new camera phone" we don't send the money yet they have the new phone the next time we call...interesting where the priorites lay.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Finesse and Jlvr where r yah...

We also had some issues with friends calling...but like you we just stopped answering if we didn't know the person. Unfortunately Andre and I weren't on the same page with all of this and he would give in to whomever called and fall for the guilt trips regularly. He has quite a lot of debt to show for it now...and ain't no one sending him money from JA

Thats what I say...I have a plan and there is nothing but GOD that can steer us from our goals...when u help everyone..who helps u and take care of u...

OMG!!! Me and Verton just had this same conversation last night! I told him due to the cost of bringing him over here the MONEY TREE DIED!!! We pulled too many leaves off. I told him when we plant another one then he can help other people but until it grows and bare fruit I am broke . He told me yesterday when my family calls tell them I am out don't mention that I am at work .

Hahahaa..thats what u gotta do...bringing him here, raising our daughter, paying the bills...and ppl want freen ride... ..not here..we will help when WE can..this is not a dictatorship... ..it's democracy..hahhahaa..WE have to agree on Everything

Luckily, we do agree on this issue. I can only imagine if we did not. Not to say that we don't help. We try and have sent a little money here and there. But, not near as often as they would like, which is monthly I believe.

You guys will love this.....Andre's sister took her kids to JA and left them with my MIL till she can get her act together in NY and find a job(so she says). Alicia left $200 with my MIL to help. This is like 2 days after she called us claiming they were all starving, right.....What did they buy with that $200? Think they went and bought some food and managed to send the kids to school? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.........they went and bought a new TV. Whatever, is now what I say to her requests. Whatever.

I know of one person who said her guy plans on regularly sending money to his mom and sisters cause he is the main breadwinner now. I just shake my head and pray for her and her man.....we all know the expenses don't just end cause he gets here with you. We all know jobs are not as forthcoming as we would like. We all know the paperwork is still slow and frustrating. We all know we have to sometimes dig out of the visa journey hole we dug ourselves. And, we all know the expenses seem to keep on coming even if you don't want them too.

I wish there was some kind of class WE could teach on this. Our experiences alone are priceless to newbies.

You r so correct. When the bills start piling up ur friend will realise I HOPE..The thing is life continues are our SO's get in the country. Ur MIL is a real trip...a new TV..come on..

[jlvr 1]

This waiting is killing me. I left my office, ran an errand, came back, no message on my phone.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Exactly! We sent money the first Christmas Andre got here. A good amount of money might I add. We sent a lump sum to go towards groceries/bills and then money to be divided between all the brothers. Well needless to say they divided the money between themselves and then spent the grocery/bill money taking holiday all the way across the island. Not even one day after they took their holiday did we get the next phone call informing Andre that he needed to send x amount of dollars or the light would be shut off. I very nicely informed them to buy some candles.

The thing is...she always calls with a crisis - the lights are being shut off, no food, so and so needs meds, they need to visit the doc etc and "there is no way we can do it without your help" yet when we let them know there will be no help they miraculously come up with the money EVERY TIME. Especially if it is something frivoulous. "I need a new camera phone" we don't send the money yet they have the new phone the next time we call...interesting where the priorites lay.

U have me crackin up...I was JA this yr and I brought my bluetooth, here goes my cousin..lef dat wid me nuh, and u can buy another when u go back up... I'm like dude r u serious right now "buy another" it's that easy huh..as if..get the hell outta here

This waiting is killing me. I left my office, ran an errand, came back, no message on my phone.

I know girl..memba he has to get home....plus they're 1hr behind... I'm just trying to make u less anxious

Edited June 19, 2007 by kimmykashi

[Yaads 0]

The thing that gets me the most is that I don't mind helping when there is genuine need. If my family were in a tough spot I would help them in a heartbeat. If his family were in a similar bind I would do the same. It is just too much like crying wolf. When there really is an emergency or genuine need I am not even going to be listening because EVERY time is supposedly an emergency or need.

[*JG* 2]

The thing that gets me the most is that I don't mind helping when there is genuine need. If my family were in a tough spot I would help them in a heartbeat. If his family were in a similar bind I would do the same. It is just too much like crying wolf. When there really is an emergency or genuine need I am not even going to be listening because EVERY time is supposedly an emergency or need.

And the thought that pops up in my head..........You have no money yet you are managing to buy phone cards and call us several times a day!!! Crying wolf.....that is the perfect words for it.

[Shemmy 4]

OMG!!! Me and Verton just had this same conversation last night! I told him due to the cost of bringing him over here the MONEY TREE DIED!!! We pulled too many leaves off. I told him when we plant another one then he can help other people but until it grows and bare fruit I am broke . He told me yesterday when my family calls tell them I am out don't mention that I am at work .

You should have heard the excuses I had to come up with to Damien's family when he was working two jobs. His family probably thought I had him tied up somewhere..he was never home. Most importantly, he didn't want his family to know he was working two jobs.

[jlvr 1]

This waiting is killing me. I left my office, ran an errand, came back, no message on my phone.

I know girl..memba he has to get home....plus they're 1hr behind... I'm just trying to make u less anxious

I know, but from 8 this morning? Why is it taking so long? I don't know whether it's a good thing or not that it's taking so long. And maybe he doesn't want to call me with bad news.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

OMG!!! Me and Verton just had this same conversation last night! I told him due to the cost of bringing him over here the MONEY TREE DIED!!! We pulled too many leaves off. I told him when we plant another one then he can help other people but until it grows and bare fruit I am broke . He told me yesterday when my family calls tell them I am out don't mention that I am at work .

You should have heard the excuses I had to come up with to Damien's family when he was working two jobs. His family probably thought I had him tied up somewhere..he was never home. Most importantly, he didn't want his family to know he was working two jobs.

2 JOBS..yeah don't tell them that...