Overstay for my wedding or leave and come back?

[NikLR 13,232]

~~moved to AOS process and procedures from progress reports~~

[Hypnos 6,578]

Investigate getting married in another state that doesn't have a waiting period for re-marriage after divorce. 

[Messan 0]

6 hours ago, caliliving said:

So u married a usc for 5yrs and never overstayed, where did you guys live? How did u get married? Did you live in the netherlands or in the us? 

I would say ur herr now, intent is fine u were legally allowed in the country and overstay is forgiven.

However, u gettinf married so soon after a 5yr divorce to a usc is a huge red flag!!!

Thank you for your answer. Married for 5 years but we barely were ever together as I returned back to the Netherlands very quickly. It wasn't the ideal marriage cause we quickly fell apart and went about our lives without each other. He had other relationship and I even had a child with a former lover. We understood that and stayed cordial. We didn't get a divorce sooner because it just didn't come as priority to us, seeing that we were continents apart. After all we were friends, so we didn't really stress about things. 

It would really be sad if they took that into consideration cause if the whole idea was to get papers or stay in this country, I could have done that with my former husband. And whatever relationship I may have had with him shouldn't affect my new relationship when they're taking a decisions about us.

Yes I was married, yes I was in good term with my husband tho we were at some point technically not together anymore, however I never attempted to stay in this country. I was just married, that's it!! Why should that be their business? I thought it could only be their business if I attempted to file things to join my husband? We got married in the US, Alabama, when I was on my VWP. So, I didn't even overstay. I could have just stay in the country after the marriage if I wanted, it was my right. However, I left. 

Just the thought that they could use this against me makes me so mad, I want a lawyer, it's not fair. 

[Messan 0]

1 hour ago, Hypnos said:

Investigate getting married in another state that doesn't have a waiting period for re-marriage after divorce. 

Great idea. Me and my boyfriend live in another state (Maryland) which doesn't have a waiting period. 

But now, after reading the comments above, I wonder if we should wait even longer before we get married (which is not good for my status).

Thank you dear.

 

[mallafri76 1,012]

9 hours ago, Messan said:

 

Indeed the political climate right now is just down straight scary. What option wouldn't you risk BTW? Overstaying or leaving and trying to come back?

I wouldn't risk the overstay. There are obviously more immigration changes coming and most of the other Republicans seem to fall in line and support Trump. I mean who would have thought that we would ever get basically a ban on muslims???? 

 

[NikLR 13,232]

You dont have a right to stay in the USA even married to a USC.  Sorry dear, that's not how it works and fairness doesnt even start to come into play.  If you were a USC and not seeking immigration benefits it wouldn't matter in the slightest, but the USCIS can certainly look at your decisions negatively.  

 

I get it, many people don't get divorced until they're ready to remarry.  Divorce can be expensive and time consuming so people ignore it.  But then people are filing taxes incorrectly and commiting adultery  (even though neither person actually cares, the law may). In a no fault state, obviously not an issue either though.  

 

Any overstay would be forgiven,  currently,  with an approved AOS.  Basically they go, oh well you're married to a USC so you overstayed, no big deal, we're going to ignore that. 

 

You'd likely never get an ESTA again though if you left before citizenship. 

 

You can choose to do whatever you want to, it's your life and the scrutiny would be on you and your new beau.  Your choice and best of luck in your journey. 

Edited January 29, 2017 by NikLR

[Fr8dog 312]

Do you even have all the required documents for the AOS with you?

Most Dutch counties are not really cooperative when you send someone else to pull the copy of the birth certificate. And you need that for the petition.

How about leases and work?

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

3 hours ago, Messan said:

Thank you for your answer. Married for 5 years but we barely were ever together as I returned back to the Netherlands very quickly. It wasn't the ideal marriage cause we quickly fell apart and went about our lives without each other. He had other relationship and I even had a child with a former lover. We understood that and stayed cordial. We didn't get a divorce sooner because it just didn't come as priority to us, seeing that we were continents apart.

 

I could have just stay in the country after the marriage if I wanted, it was my right. However, I left. 

Just the thought that they could use this against me makes me so mad, I want a lawyer, it's not fair. 

 

Where is your child?  I hope you aren't planning on making them illegal too?  How are you going to go back and visit them?  It has been a while since you've been back to the Netherlands to see them...  

 

It isn't your right to be here, I mean sometimes the US government overlooks overstays and you'll get away with it until your AOS is approved, if it is approved.

Of course they can use it against you and a lawyer isn't going to necessarily help with proving that your current relationship is valid.  If you can't even afford to fly home and wait, you can't afford a lawyer.

[caliliving 606]

1 hour ago, N-o-l-a said:

 

Where is your child?  I hope you aren't planning on making them illegal too?  How are you going to go back and visit them?  It has been a while since you've been back to the Netherlands to see them...  

 

It isn't your right to be here, I mean sometimes the US government overlooks overstays and you'll get away with it until your AOS is approved, if it is approved.

Of course they can use it against you and a lawyer isn't going to necessarily help with proving that your current relationship is valid.  If you can't even afford to fly home and wait, you can't afford a lawyer.

Overatay IS forgiven!!!! Intent was at the border...u got in, ur fine...iverstay is NOT brought up at the interview they just want to make sure its a genuine relationship!!!!

Stay and aos, have lots of proof..ur not from a high fraud country. 

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

11 minutes ago, caliliving said:

Overatay IS forgiven!!!! Intent was at the border...u got in, ur fine...iverstay is NOT brought up at the interview they just want to make sure its a genuine relationship!!!!

Stay and aos, have lots of proof..ur not from a high fraud country. 

 

Sure, it is forgiven if AOS is approved and there is a hold from the date of filing the application.  Until such time, you are deportable and illegal.  

Edited January 29, 2017 by N-o-l-a

[Penguin_ie 5,997]

**** Three posts removed for bickering.  Post politely with constructive advice for the Op, or do  not post. *****

[Cocomessan 0]

Hello people, 

 

**I am the OP** for some unknown reason to me, I can't post any reply anymore. I'm a new member since yesterday and don't recall doing anything wrong other than starting this thread for advice.

 

I created another account to say thank you to everyone who took the time to answer me. Some (most) answers brought more confusions, some educated us more on the issue, some made us a bit confident, so thank you.

 

We are deciding to take the risk and I will stay and AOS. I also wish to stay on this site to receive more help and to update.

 

**I would like to take the opportunity to quickly answers some people:

-no I'm not planning on bringing my child here for now and dragging him thru all of this. He is with father and I get daily updates of his happy life.

-I don't have any paper whatsoever here with me (birth certificate etc). Will have to find a way to get them.

-the relationship between me and my man is real. I'm a girl, much into selfie, taking picture of every and anything. I have loving (even very intimate) pictures and videos of us together from the moment we met abroad until now in the US (we met abroad). We have been posting pics on FB from the get-go. From the moment I got in the US I have been living with only him. We recently got pregnant, but unfortunately the baby is not here no more; we do have prove of that. He is planning to put me on his health assurance. Those are what we can prove so far. What I can't prove is how much I care about him and don't want to spend anytime without him.

 

What I still worry about is INTENT, I feel like everything is against us because of how quick things are going. What they don't know and won't know is that from the first day we met things been going quickly. We met in August 2016 after being friends on FB sinds 2009.

[Cadence 20]

I asked you before and you didn't answer. It would help to know the exact timeline of your two relationships. So far we only have little snippets of information you tell about your relationships and they either don't make sense out of context or questionable. 

 

For example:

Met ex-husband in March 2000

Married ex-husband May 2000

Had child with a man December 2003

Met current fiance July 2004

Engaged July 2004

Started divorce proceedings with ex-husband August 2004

Divorce granted October 2005

 

Edited January 29, 2017 by Cadence

[Cocomessan 0]

6 minutes ago, Cadence said:

I asked you before and you didn't answer. It would help to know the exact timeline of your two relationships. So far we only have little snippets of information you tell about your relationships and they either don't make sense out of context or questionable. 

 

For example:

Met ex-husband in March 2000

Married ex-husband May 2000

Had child with a man December 2003

Met current fiance July 2004

Engaged July 2004

Started divorce proceedings with ex-husband August 2004

Divorce granted October 2005

 

Sorry for that! Here we go.

 

Met my former husband in September 2012

 

Married my former husband in December 2012

 

Had a child with a man in September 2014

 

Met my former fiance in August 2016

 

Started divorce proceeding End November 2016

 

Got proposed to January 18 2017

 

Divorce granted from January 24th 2017

 

Now we planning to marry ASAP and AOS before the 90 days is up. 

 

Please, what do you mean with "don't make sense, out of context or questionable"? That didn't sit well with me, frankly. I'm an unknown stranger on this website, I don't know why I would be lying? I asked for advise and provided the information I thought was enough to provide clear answers. If get the proper information for the wrong case, how is that gonna help me once I start my case? 

 

To keep it simple: I came to the US to visit my boyfriend (although legally married to someone else, something I have mentioned to the Immigration Officers at the border before entering the country). 

After a few weeks of actually living together and dealing with some personal issues, we don't want to be separated at all anymore. 

However; we are not yet married and my 90 days are almost up. We want to remain together, so what's the best thing to do?! 

 

 

That's the clear issue. Now me giving extra info to make my case as clear as possible cause we want to do everything legally and not risk being separated forever  (deportation) shouldn't make me guilty already. 

 

Still do appreciate everyone's advice.

 

 

[Cadence 20]

No one said you're lying. What I said was that you didn't initially give a full time line of events, so it would have been very easy to assume things many things about your relationships. 

 

The fact that you had a child with another man while still married to your ex-husband is concerning. I assume that after meeting your fiance in august 2016, you were officially dating him? All while still legally married to the USC? It matters very little that you both mutually agreed that seeing other people was OK because one could argue, "well why the heck didn't you divorce then?" The fact that you chose not to divorce doesn't excuse you from it, does that make sense? And then you started divorce proceedings after being with your fiance a relatively short time when before you were seemingly fine with not getting a divorce to the man you no longer loved (one could even argue, no longer loved enough to go have a child with a completely different man) for many years. 

 

See where I'm going with this? You can profess to how much you love your fiance and how real your relationship is - I have no reason to doubt it and it does not matter much to me whether or not I believe it. But you have to be able to see that someone else with a less noble intentions than you in your shoes could very well be faking a relationship/love and trick a USC into marrying them for immigration benefits. Does that make sense? USCIS is not going to assume you are a noble human being who would never abuse or mislead someone with marriage. The burden is on you to prove that you are not one of those people. 

Edited January 29, 2017 by Cadence