Looking to get a divorce or annulment from k1 wife. How can I protect myself.

[Russ&Caro 1,549]

35 minutes ago, rcripps said:

Well, that certainly puts a new spin on things. Start the divorce proceedings for your state. Document everything. Have a witness on hand for any face to face situations. She has to have proof of abuse, file police reports, hospital and everything. Nobody can adjust for her. If she still wants a plane ticket then buy her one and make sure she gets on the plane and it takes off with her on it with no way for her to get off in this country.  You didn't file AOS and you didn't sign an I-184. You're not financially liable.

 

This would be pretty hard to do. They don't let people who don't have a ticket into the gate area at US airports and unless the departure airport is really small, you have no way to see if she gets on the plane. And, of course, if it's a small airport, chances are it doesn't have direct international flights.

 

The only conceivable way to do this is to buy yourself a cheapo ticket to somewhere that you don't intend to use to allow you into the gate area. Seems like a lot of hassle.

[Chardon Ne' 71]

2 hours ago, Transborderwife said:

Annulments are overrated, especially in immigration matters 

Why do you say that. Im really curious. 

[Rc123rc 528]

14 minutes ago, Russ&Caro said:

 

This would be pretty hard to do. They don't let people who don't have a ticket into the gate area at US airports and unless the departure airport is really small, you have no way to see if she gets on the plane. And, of course, if it's a small airport, chances are it doesn't have direct international flights.

 

The only conceivable way to do this is to buy yourself a cheapo ticket to somewhere that you don't intend to use to allow you into the gate area. Seems like a lot of hassle.

Yes, it is a problem I am aware of. No one allowed without a ticket. There is a risk she will go back after clearing security and then "disappear." Not OP problem but if she remains in country then other problems might pop up. 

[Rc123rc 528]

53 minutes ago, thegreatwm said:

She has no evidence because I never abused her. I gave her everything she wanted up until she left. There are no police reports, bruises, anything of that nature. There is nothing. After how everything went down today, I doubt I will see her again. We just had a small minor argument and she said she will go. Now she's gone and I feel like I'm going into shock. Couldn't she go somewhere and have someone rough her up purposely and then say I did it? Since she isn't here now, is there anything I can do to protect myself to prove that she's not here. Meaning, what can I do to prove that we aren't living together and I'm not looking to harm her? I will gladly buy her a ticket to go home and even though I offered, she didn't take it. It's crazy how this day unfolded but luckily I didn't file any of that paperwork. That would be even a bigger headache.

That's good there has been nothing to accuse you with. You are right though. She can have someone rough her up if she wanted to go down that route but a lot of times that backfires on them. Not sure if it legal to change the locks, especially if she is on the lease nut it's a thought, close the joint accounts, stop paying for a cell phone if you are. Heck, post a video camera outside your home and meet her outside if you need to. There a lot of fine lines in this situations. The idea is though, don't give her any future chances to accuse you of anything. Maybe she does just want to go home and this is her way of doing it. If so, let her go. I would say counseling but if she's done a 180 then not much you can work on.

[thegreatwm 6]

7 minutes ago, rcripps said:

That's good there has been nothing to accuse you with. You are right though. She can have someone rough her up if she wanted to go down that route but a lot of times that backfires on them. Not sure if it legal to change the locks, especially if she is on the lease nut it's a thought, close the joint accounts, stop paying for a cell phone if you are. Heck, post a video camera outside your home and meet her outside if you need to. There a lot of fine lines in this situations. The idea is though, don't give her any future chances to accuse you of anything. Maybe she does just want to go home and this is her way of doing it. If so, let her go. I would say counseling but if she's done a 180 then not much you can work on.

 

Thanks for the advice. I admit that this really stings right now but I'm hoping that I feel better soon. She left the key on the table but I will still change the locks just in case. She still has her cell phone but I called to have international calls blocked. I'll keep it on until the end of this cycle and then I'll have it disconnected. I've been reading the forum for the past couple hours and I am now almost 100% sure that she will try to still get AOS through VAWA. Would there be any benefit for me to call the ICE hotline and report fraud? Her visa expired but we got married within 90 days so I'm not sure how that works. Also, I think I can qualify for an annulment based on fraud. We didn't have sex and since she came, all of the household decisions have been to her benefit. Had I known these things before, I would have never married her. Therefore, I feel like I was manipulated and this is fraud. I have not contacted her on her phone since she left and I have no intentions of doing so either.

Edited January 13, 2017 by thegreatwm

[jjbandero 39]

Sorry about what you're going through. The advice below regarding the camera is great, some states do not allow you to change locks to lock out a spouse, but putting a camera by the door should be fine. We have a camera that is motion activated, it streams a video of whoever approaches the door and records clips. If she is roughed up while you're at work, you not only have witnesses stating that you're at work, you will have a video of her returning to your house after she already got injuries.

4 minutes ago, rcripps said:

That's good there has been nothing to accuse you with. You are right though. She can have someone rough her up if she wanted to go down that route but a lot of times that backfires on them. Not sure if it legal to change the locks, especially if she is on the lease nut it's a thought, close the joint accounts, stop paying for a cell phone if you are. Heck, post a video camera outside your home and meet her outside if you need to. There a lot of fine lines in this situations. The idea is though, don't give her any future chances to accuse you of anything. Maybe she does just want to go home and this is her way of doing it. If so, let her go. I would say counseling but if she's done a 180 then not much you can work on.

 

[thegreatwm 6]

By the way, I appreciate all the advice guys. I am going through some crazy emotions right now so this is a bit of an outlet. Thanks for all the help.

[Rc123rc 528]

ICE could care less. They have bigger fish to fry. Fraud is really really hard to prove and this sounds like a situation where fraud could never be proved. It's a failed marriage as far as immigration and most people are concerned. Even if she tries to adjust with a VAWA it has a low chance. USCIS is on to the VAWA scams and scrutinizes carefully. Same thing with annulments. States are tightening up what qualifies as an annulment.  It's being abused too much. Again, think about what you need to do to protect yourself, don't focus on trying to get her out of the country or screaming fraud. It's a waste of emotional effort. Sorry you are going through this. Get some counseling if you think it would do some good.

[andy78 178]

Change the locks right away.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

19 minutes ago, andy78 said:

Change the locks right away.

State depending that may not be legal

[thegreatwm 6]

Her name is not on my house so I assume that I could change the locks.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Just now, thegreatwm said:

Her name is not on my house so I assume that I could change the locks.

 

Just now, thegreatwm said:

Her name is not on my house so I assume that I could change the locks.

Check to be sure.  For example in the state of Florida, if one has been a tenant for a certain amount of time (30 days in some cases) one must formally and legally evict them even if they're not on a title or lease.

[Boiler 45,584]

Nothing illegal about changing locks, may be an issue about not allowing her entry.

 

Since when have they cracked down on VAWA? Must have missed it.

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

This might sound a bit much, but I would install some hidden cameras around the house with a DVR recording 24/7.  Hell, it's your future, freedom, criminal record, reputation, etc. at stake.

 

IMO, it's a another case of misaligned expectations.  She thought that she was coming to paradise with money trees, etc.  The reality of America didn't match her expectations.

She didn't scam you for immigration purposes.  She just realized that it's not what she expected.  If she wanted a divorce so she could stay here or she was pushing you to do her AOS right away, then you'd be suspicious.  But when they WANT to go home, it's not fraud.

 

 

 

 

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

2 hours ago, thegreatwm said:

No I think she intends to stay or else she wouldn't have tried so hard to come. She said all the right things before just so she could be here and from the first week she arrived, everything changed. We've been living like glorified roommates. I don't think it's fair that she can manipulate the system to try to stay here but I feel that this is what will happen.

So let her stay.  If she wants to be another illegal, why should you care?  You didn't sign a sponsorship form, so she can't get anything from you.  Avoid being with her as much as possible.  If you feel she is capable of false accusations, look at my previous suggestion about cameras.  Yu don't need her permission.  They are SECURITY cameras. 

 

About it being legal to record... Are we saying that some burglar may object in court of being recorded.  And if it happens to catch her false accusing you, that's just one of those lucky breaks.

Edited January 13, 2017 by Eric-Pris