Looking to get a divorce or annulment from k1 wife. How can I protect myself.

[thegreatwm 6]

I'll try to cut to the chase and make this as short as possible. I married a woman from Africa in good faith. I visited her several times, proposed, and started the k1 process. I truly thought this marriage was real and I met her a couple years ago. She's been here for a few months and since she got here, she's done a complete 180 with me. We used to talk about our plans for the future before she came here and we were in agreement about several things such as kids, house, etc. Anyway, she's done a 180 on almost everything and I feel like I've been duped. We had a discussion today and she is not going to change her thinking. I was also in the process of filing her adjustment of status along with the work authorization but she told me not to do it and that she would rather return to her home country. I'm all for that and she can leave today if she wants. The problem is I'm afraid that she might try to claim that I abused her or that I've done something to her and I could get kicked from my house, lose my job, etc......So what can I do to protect myself? Should I carry around a voice recorder at all times? Can I legally make her leave if we are still married? Lastly, it is easy to get an annulment or would I need to divorce her? I believe I was scammed for immigration purposes and to me, that should be grounds for an annulment. We've only been married for 3 months if that matters. Please help with any advice and thanks!

[Ben&Zian 4,398]

Some of it can depend on where you live. Each state has their own laws regarding annulments and you need to search that.

 

As to protecting yourself, if she were really to want to try to blame you for abuse or anything, she could and I don't know what you could do.

 

If she wants to return home, then definately allow her to and the sooner the better to avoid any more issues between you two.

 

Sorry for how this all has worked out for you.

[Dutchster 1,107]

Since you signed nothing yet regarding to the I-864, you won't be responsible for her so that's a good thing. Avoid any situations where she could call the police on you and lie. If she wants to go back to her own country, find out how annulment/divorce works in your state and send her back. I'm sorry you have to go through this. 

[aaron2020 11,651]

You have a legal obligation to care for your wife.  The only legal way for you to make her leave is with a court order.

 

Annulment is not easy.  You would have to meet the requirements.  It's easier to divorce.

 

Be careful with any recording.  Your state may require her consent to record any private conversations.  Check out the laws in your state.

 

Document the living ####### out of everything.  Have a third party be present if possible.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Annulments are overrated, especially in immigration matters 

[kareelina 42]

As long as she doesn't want you to apply for AOS for her and she would rather go back home , that means she hates being there , and I don't think she intends to cause you harm , all what she wants is to go back to her home country , I think she doesn't feel safe with you there , help her go back home and don't worry about your house , it obvious that you didn't even try to talk to her about what bothers her or made her change that way . 

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Why do you suspect fraud when all she wants is to go home ?

 

Divorce, buy her a ticket home and move on.

[Boiler 45,584]

She does not need to be here to divorce, buy her a ticket on the next flight out.

[thegreatwm 6]

35 minutes ago, Ebunoluwa said:

Why do you suspect fraud when all she wants is to go home ?

 

Divorce, buy her a ticket home and move on.

I suspect fraud because after she came here, all our plans changed. She's just been trying to string me along by withholding sex, putting off our plans, refusing the change her name after we discussed it etc etc.....Anyway, I don't think she plans to return to her home country. She's already packed her bags and left out. I just came back to the house and she isn't here. As far as I know, she doesn't know anyone in our city so I'm guessing she knows someone and will stay with them? I don't know. She was hoping that I would beg her to stay but I'm not that type of guy, not anymore. Sorry if I'm all over the place but I'm just kind of emotional right now. I knew this was a bad idea in the first place and I should have trusted my instinct. I feel she will try to find a way to stay here legally.

[thegreatwm 6]

1 hour ago, kareelina said:

As long as she doesn't want you to apply for AOS for her and she would rather go back home , that means she hates being there , and I don't think she intends to cause you harm , all what she wants is to go back to her home country , I think she doesn't feel safe with you there , help her go back home and don't worry about your house , it obvious that you didn't even try to talk to her about what bothers her or made her change that way . 

No I think she intends to stay or else she wouldn't have tried so hard to come. She said all the right things before just so she could be here and from the first week she arrived, everything changed. We've been living like glorified roommates. I don't think it's fair that she can manipulate the system to try to stay here but I feel that this is what will happen.

[Boiler 45,584]

Sounds like a VAWA case, VJ has a forum for those.

[Rc123rc 528]

10 minutes ago, thegreatwm said:

I suspect fraud because after she came here, all our plans changed. She's just been trying to string me along by withholding sex, putting off our plans, refusing the change her name after we discussed it etc etc.....Anyway, I don't think she plans to return to her home country. She's already packed her bags and left out. I just came back to the house and she isn't here. As far as I know, she doesn't know anyone in our city so I'm guessing she knows someone and will stay with them? I don't know. She was hoping that I would beg her to stay but I'm not that type of guy, not anymore. Sorry if I'm all over the place but I'm just kind of emotional right now. I knew this was a bad idea in the first place and I should have trusted my instinct. I feel she will try to find a way to stay here legally.

Well, that certainly puts a new spin on things. Start the divorce proceedings for your state. Document everything. Have a witness on hand for any face to face situations. She has to have proof of abuse, file police reports, hospital and everything. Nobody can adjust for her. If she still wants a plane ticket then buy her one and make sure she gets on the plane and it takes off with her on it with no way for her to get off in this country.  You didn't file AOS and you didn't sign an I-184. You're not financially liable.

Edited January 13, 2017 by rcripps

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Well if she stays here she will be illegal. As others have said never be alone with her and file for divorce and let USCIS know.

[thegreatwm 6]

10 minutes ago, rcripps said:

Well, that certainly puts a new spin on things. Start the divorce proceedings for your state. Document everything. Have a witness on hand for any face to face situations. She has to have proof of abuse, file police reports, hospital and everything. Nobody can adjust for her. If she still wants a plane ticket then buy her one and make sure she gets on the plane and it takes off with her on it with no way for her to get off in this country.  You didn't file AOS and you didn't sign an I-184. You're not financially liable.

She has no evidence because I never abused her. I gave her everything she wanted up until she left. There are no police reports, bruises, anything of that nature. There is nothing. After how everything went down today, I doubt I will see her again. We just had a small minor argument and she said she will go. Now she's gone and I feel like I'm going into shock. Couldn't she go somewhere and have someone rough her up purposely and then say I did it? Since she isn't here now, is there anything I can do to protect myself to prove that she's not here. Meaning, what can I do to prove that we aren't living together and I'm not looking to harm her? I will gladly buy her a ticket to go home and even though I offered, she didn't take it. It's crazy how this day unfolded but luckily I didn't file any of that paperwork. That would be even a bigger headache.

[thegreatwm 6]

1 minute ago, Ebunoluwa said:

Well if she stays here she will be illegal. As others have said never be alone with her and file for divorce and let USCIS know.

 

I've saw that advice here so that's what I will do. I still want to try to go for the annulment but if I can't, I will divorce. Can't believe this is happening.