Scandinavians Part 2

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

24 minutes ago, Paul & Mallory said:

Hi!  Yes, that's probably the one thing I worry myself about the most is the transition for him. I want him to be happy here. He's lived in the states before, but it was a long time ago and on the west coast (Seattle). South Carolina is different for him. He's been here several times and says he loves it and feels at home, but I imagine it's only normal for there to be some homesickness once he's actually moved here. I would feel the same if the roles were reversed; Sweden is a huge culture shock for someone like me. I've never left the east coast before meeting him and the biggest city I'd ever been to was New York City. We are right outside of Charlotte, NC, which is where we spend a lot of time doing things. But still. He's made comments about all the space and land people have around here; that's not something you see much over there!

 

Obviously, his social circle here right now is my social circle. I'm fortunate enough to have friends who have welcomed and accepted him unconditionally, but I do hope he is able to facilitate his own social circle once he's here. Socializing is a big part of positive integration.

 

Ah, you probably needn't worry.

In general it has been my experience observing a lot of people on VJ and off that men tend to have any easy time transitioning to life in a new country, particularly European men.  

 

My Danish husband, a.k.a. man who hadn't been on a plane before 6 years ago or moved anywhere outside a ten mile radius, has adapted extraordinarily well.  No homesickness and he'd even now never move back.  This from a man who didn't even have an interest in visiting other countries, especially the US.  He's had no problem making connections because people are just kind of attracted to him being a foreigner.  Actually, we moved to a new place since coming to America almost 5 years ago (we've been in Minnesota for about 3.5 years) and he has done way better than me at building a circle of friends.     

 

I actually found Denmark to be difficult to live in and I've traveled a lot and moved around America a lot.  At the time, some of my family didn't live that far off in England.  My family in general are sort of worldwide wanderers.  So, it isn't necessarily that.  

 

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

14 minutes ago, Suss&Camm said:

I too lived in the states a while as younger, in Hawaii though - quite different as well!!! And my husband had never been out of Texas either

I'm originally from the country side in Sweden, so I'm a bit used to the farms and land and all of that...but I must say I would be happier in a bigger city. We make sacrifices for the ones we love

My husband doesn't have a big social circle, does have a big family though.. whereas I come from a very small one. Seems like your husband will have a good start

Omg.. it gets so hot!!! This was my first summer and I felt like I was going to die... was then told this was a cool summer compared to others (!!!!!)

 We've talked about it too... I guess the closeness to his family is why we haven't..but he's open to whatever makes me happy 

I'm a medicinal chemist... if I were able to choose I'd want to live in North Carolina..near the research triangle there.

Ah, I've never seen the country side of Sweden. I'd like to! I bet it's beautiful! The city part is pretty magical to me too, though.  One of my favorite things about our relationship is how much it's opened me up culturally and just in general. I don't think I'd have ever traveled to Sweden on my own if I'd never met Paul. His parents are also originally from the Philippines, so I've gotten a lot of different cultural experiences by being with him and his family. It was part of what mesmerized me about him; he speaks multiple languages and has been to and lived in so many places. It makes me want to learn more, travel more, see more.

 

He has a pretty big family; their family gatherings are extraordinary. Lots of food!  Which is something I can relate to as a southerner, lol. As a chef, he will fit in just fine with regards to that. Being someone who's traveled and moved a lot in his life, I'm hoping the socializing part won't be as difficult for him as some. Someone like me, for example; I think I'd have a tougher time with that part if I were the one moving there, versus him coming here.

 

LOL the part about the heat made me laugh! Paul's very first visit here was right smack in the middle of Carolina summer and it was a HUGE shock to his system, haha. It was quite humid that summer, more than usual, and I think his, like, second day here we walked outside and he just looks at me and says "Is this real? Is it like this every day?" I had to break his heart and say yes. It will be like this until around September or October. I thought he might leave me right then and there, lmao.

 

I get the family part - I'm super close to my family, which is one of the reasons Paul was quick to volunteer to relocate instead of me. He says he knew when he first met me that I'd probably never leave my family, at least that far. I'm not saying that I wouldn't; we've definitely had to have the conversation of what happens should this process fall through for whatever reason. If he couldn't make it over here, I would not be opposed to moving to Sweden. But leaving my family would be hard. It's the thing I hate most about all of this - one of us has to leave a lot behind, and I hate his family is so far away.

 

I'm a bit biased to the North Carolina option I was born in Durham and my dad still lives in Raleigh; it's my second home. The Triangle is a pretty amazing place; I'd actually pick it over the Charlotte area any day. My dad is actually a pharmaceutical engineer and works with medical chemists! There's a lot of options for that field in the area.

 

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

22 minutes ago, N-o-l-a said:

Ah, you probably needn't worry.

In general it has been my experience observing a lot of people on VJ and off that men tend to have any easy time transitioning to life in a new country, particularly European men.  

 

My Danish husband, a.k.a. man who hadn't been on a plane before 6 years ago or moved anywhere outside a ten mile radius, has adapted extraordinarily well.  No homesickness and he'd even now never move back.  This from a man who didn't even have an interest in visiting other countries, especially the US.  He's had no problem making connections because people are just kind of attracted to him being a foreigner.  Actually, we moved to a new place since coming to America almost 5 years ago (we've been in Minnesota for about 3.5 years) and he has done way better than me at building a circle of friends.     

 

I actually found Denmark to be difficult to live in and I've traveled a lot and moved around America a lot.  At the time, some of my family didn't live that far off in England.  My family in general are sort of worldwide wanderers.  So, it isn't necessarily that.  

 

I would probably agree with that; his familiarity with traveling and relocating in the past, I feel, makes him more receptive to it than I would be, for example. From the get to, he's seemed most comfortable with the changes to come than I have. I'm hoping that remains the case

 

I'm interested to see, after he's lived here for some time, if he would pick living here over Sweden, or anywhere else, just out of curiosity. He's mentioned hoping to get dual citizenship someday and has talked about the idea of retiring to Sweden way, way down the road. I feel anything is possible, especially when it comes to the future. Sweden is a beautiful, wonderful place.

 

I'm not too familiar with Denmark; not sure my fiancé is, either. Is it much different than nearby countries?

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

12 minutes ago, Paul & Mallory said:

Ah, I've never seen the country side of Sweden. I'd like to! I bet it's beautiful! The city part is pretty magical to me too, though.  One of my favorite things about our relationship is how much it's opened me up culturally and just in general. I don't think I'd have ever traveled to Sweden on my own if I'd never met Paul. His parents are also originally from the Philippines, so I've gotten a lot of different cultural experiences by being with him and his family. It was part of what mesmerized me about him; he speaks multiple languages and has been to and lived in so many places. It makes me want to learn more, travel more, see more.

 

Oh you are missing out.  Rural Sweden is really beautiful.   I think it is up there for me with the mountains of Colorado and New Hampshire (as an American comparison).  Even better that he's Filipino in origin, they are literally one of the top most successful immigrant groups to the United States.  My older daughter is part Filipino as well.

 

4 minutes ago, Paul & Mallory said:

I would probably agree with that; his familiarity with traveling and relocating in the past, I feel, makes him more receptive to it than I would be, for example. From the get to, he's seemed most comfortable with the changes to come than I have. I'm hoping that remains the case

 

I'm interested to see, after he's lived here for some time, if he would pick living here over Sweden, or anywhere else, just out of curiosity. He's mentioned hoping to get dual citizenship someday and has talked about the idea of retiring to Sweden way, way down the road. I feel anything is possible, especially when it comes to the future. Sweden is a beautiful, wonderful place.

 

I'm not too familiar with Denmark; not sure my fiancé is, either. Is it much different than nearby countries?

 

Hahaha I'd still move countries or across America again, but I get the itch every few years to up and move...so I have to kind of ignore that.  I don't particularly like familiarity or living with a lot of family nearby.  My husband like familiarity, so I sense I'm stuck in northern Minnesota for the foreseeable future.

 

Denmark is more like England in terms of geography and climate.  It kind of mostly sits at a cloudy 30-70°F, not too many trees, and generally flat with slightly rolling hills.  Culturally similar to Sweden/Norway, but also different in some ways.  Which ways is probably debatable and depends on experience.  

 

 

[hannahr 30]

On 12/10/2017 at 6:16 PM, Shanne said:

the DS-160 has some questions that potential are time consuming to find the answers too. But it only askes for information about the"beneficiary". 
-list ever country you have visited in the last 5 years
- list every time you have (ever) entered the USA, and the number of days you stayed
- list every secondary of higher educational institution I have attended, and when you have attended it. 
- they also want your work history, but I think it only wants the last 5 years. 

 3 and 4
The US embassy in Sweden's webpage states that you may not book your embassy interview before receiving packet 3(embassy checklist).
But you can make your account with the embassy before receiving packet 3, enter all the personal info(like e-mail) and pay the appointment fee. I did this, and therefore I as the "beneficiary" also received a copy of packet 3 directly to my e-mail. 
 

5 

I received a full copy of the medical paperwork at the embassy interview including the DS-3025. 
 

 6.1 
List of stocks and bonds

The embassy wants "recent" dates on the the letter of intent to marry and your I-134(and relay anything your fiance brings to the interview)So if you send them to your fiance to early he/she might be asked about getting a new copy at the embassy interview. 
 

 6.2 
you also need the DS-160 confirmation

Old passport too? When I renewed my passport last year at Politiet, they took my old passport so I do not have that. Would that be an issue? "list every time you have (ever) entered the USA, and the number of days you stayed", is there a way to look that up? I've been back and forth since 2007 for high school, college and now to visit my fiancé. I don't think I have any old boarding passes or anything in my email back from 2007 and 2008. 

Edited January 5, 2018 by hannahr

[Shanne 54]

6 hours ago, hannahr said:

Old passport too? When I renewed my passport last year at Politiet, they took my old passport so I do not have that. Would that be an issue? "list every time you have (ever) entered the USA, and the number of days you stayed", is there a way to look that up? I've been back and forth since 2007 for high school, college and now to visit my fiancé. I don't think I have any old boarding passes or anything in my email back from 2007 and 2008. 

You don't need to bring old passports, it is just a good idea to do so if you have them. I have never heard of anyone being asked for old passports though, so don't worry about that. 

Yes the DS-160 wants to know every time you have ever enter the USA, and the number of days you have stayed. You can look up your travel history from the last five years through the I-94 record, so that should help some. For the rest just do your best. 

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

On 1/5/2018 at 12:00 PM, N-o-l-a said:

Oh you are missing out.  Rural Sweden is really beautiful.   I think it is up there for me with the mountains of Colorado and New Hampshire (as an American comparison).  Even better that he's Filipino in origin, they are literally one of the top most successful immigrant groups to the United States.  My older daughter is part Filipino as well.

 

 

Hahaha I'd still move countries or across America again, but I get the itch every few years to up and move...so I have to kind of ignore that.  I don't particularly like familiarity or living with a lot of family nearby.  My husband like familiarity, so I sense I'm stuck in northern Minnesota for the foreseeable future.

 

Denmark is more like England in terms of geography and climate.  It kind of mostly sits at a cloudy 30-70°F, not too many trees, and generally flat with slightly rolling hills.  Culturally similar to Sweden/Norway, but also different in some ways.  Which ways is probably debatable and depends on experience.  

 

 

I wouldn't mind visiting Denmark someday. Well, all of Europe and surrounding, actually haha. I'd love to be able to just take an indefinite amount of time someday and just travel, nonstop. One of our dreams.

 

Colorado is beautiful! One of those places that really looks as breathtaking in person as it does in photographs. I'm going to Sweden in a couple of months and I can't wait. There's so much I want to see and experience. It'll be the last trip over there before he's moved over here for good, and then we won't be going back until he's able to return, of course, and we save up some more money. I'm going to try to go for a little over two weeks, to give us as much time as possible. I've never been to Stockholm, and if it works out as miraculously as we've been hoping it will, and I'm there for his interview, I'll be going with him. Take a train and make an adventure out of it.

 

Ha, we're a bit opposite from you guys -- I'm the one who prefers familiarity, and he's the one always itching for fresh scenery.

 

[Suss&Camm 2,213]

7 hours ago, Paul & Mallory said:

 I've never been to Stockholm, and if it works out as miraculously as we've been hoping it will, and I'm there for his interview, I'll be going with him. Take a train and make an adventure out of it.

We were lucky enough to get just that when he was over in Sweden on his last trip. We drove up to Stockholm and stayed at Villa Källhagen 5-10 min walking distance from the US embassy. It wasn't the cheapest option but it was still ok and well worth knowing for sure I wouldn't get stuck in traffic anywhere on the day of the interview. We were there in the summer and it's also walking distance to Skansen, Gröna Lund, and a bunch of museums and other stuff.. so we made it a real vacation trip 

Edited January 7, 2018 by Suss&Camm

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

On ‎1‎/‎7‎/‎2018 at 3:18 AM, Suss&Camm said:

We were lucky enough to get just that when he was over in Sweden on his last trip. We drove up to Stockholm and stayed at Villa Källhagen 5-10 min walking distance from the US embassy. It wasn't the cheapest option but it was still ok and well worth knowing for sure I wouldn't get stuck in traffic anywhere on the day of the interview. We were there in the summer and it's also walking distance to Skansen, Gröna Lund, and a bunch of museums and other stuff.. so we made it a real vacation trip 

That's what we want to do! Take the train and stay somewhere in walking distance and hang around a couple of days, so we aren't just there for the interview. Plus I know I wouldn't want to go by myself. And even if I can't go inside with him, knowing I'm there when he's done and comes back out would be great. So far, we still haven't received notice from NVC so not sure if it'll work out. I'm using carryover vacation time at work from last year, so that I can make my visit last longer than a week, and we have to use carryover time by mid-March.  So I am limited with how long I wait till I book a flight and go. And I'd rather go for as long as possible than not. We've still got our fingers crossed that we hear from NVC this month and things start rolling.

[Suss&Camm 2,213]

19 minutes ago, Paul & Mallory said:

That's what we want to do! Take the train and stay somewhere in walking distance and hang around a couple of days, so we aren't just there for the interview. Plus I know I wouldn't want to go by myself. And even if I can't go inside with him, knowing I'm there when he's done and comes back out would be great. So far, we still haven't received notice from NVC so not sure if it'll work out. I'm using carryover vacation time at work from last year, so that I can make my visit last longer than a week, and we have to use carryover time by mid-March.  So I am limited with how long I wait till I book a flight and go. And I'd rather go for as long as possible than not. We've still got our fingers crossed that we hear from NVC this month and things start rolling.

You can try calling the NVC for the case number. That's what we did.. I the used that number to track DHL when my package left the US. At that point we went ahead and booked the medical and interview, if I remember correctly.

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

12 minutes ago, Suss&Camm said:

You can try calling the NVC for the case number. That's what we did.. I the used that number to track DHL when my package left the US. At that point we went ahead and booked the medical and interview, if I remember correctly.

Yes, I've heard that once we have the case number we can go ahead and starting planning stuff like that. I told my fiancé I'm giving them till the end of the month, then I'm making some noise. Our NOA2 was on December 1st, so it's been almost a month and a half. Seems the average number of days has been 45 lately.

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

We finally got a response from NVC! I called last night and was told they received our info the day before (1/17) and would be sending it to the embassy in Stockholm now. He gave me our case number and an invoice number, and said the beneficiary will receive a packet from the embassy once they receive our info providing details for the interview.

 

My understanding is, now that we have the case number at least, Paul could go ahead and pursue his medical requirements, correct?

 

The even better news - it's becoming more and more possible that my trip will overlap with the interview and I may get to go with him to Stockholm after all

 

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

Paul's interview is February 22! That was fast  I managed to swing it and am flying out February 19 so that I can go to Stockholm with him. I can't believe it!

 

Random question, I'm not sure if anyone here can answer - I hadn't had a chance to mail all the paperwork to him that he's going to take with him to the interview. I can still ship it over, but since I'm going over and will arrive before the interview, I'm thinking about just packing it and taking it with me (emailing him copies so we can reprint there together as a backup). Anybody ever taken their paperwork with them to the beneficiary's country? I can't think of any problem with it, but figured I'd ask around.

[Emmsan 51]

13 hours ago, Paul & Mallory said:

Paul's interview is February 22! That was fast  I managed to swing it and am flying out February 19 so that I can go to Stockholm with him. I can't believe it!

 

Random question, I'm not sure if anyone here can answer - I hadn't had a chance to mail all the paperwork to him that he's going to take with him to the interview. I can still ship it over, but since I'm going over and will arrive before the interview, I'm thinking about just packing it and taking it with me (emailing him copies so we can reprint there together as a backup). Anybody ever taken their paperwork with them to the beneficiary's country? I can't think of any problem with it, but figured I'd ask around.

You'll have no problem bringing your paperwork to Sweden... It's paper. Pack it in your carry on to make sure it doesn't get lost. 

[Unidentified 2,930]

14 hours ago, Paul & Mallory said:

Paul's interview is February 22! That was fast  I managed to swing it and am flying out February 19 so that I can go to Stockholm with him. I can't believe it!

 

Random question, I'm not sure if anyone here can answer - I hadn't had a chance to mail all the paperwork to him that he's going to take with him to the interview. I can still ship it over, but since I'm going over and will arrive before the interview, I'm thinking about just packing it and taking it with me (emailing him copies so we can reprint there together as a backup). Anybody ever taken their paperwork with them to the beneficiary's country? I can't think of any problem with it, but figured I'd ask around.

You'll be fine. Customs in Sweden is not like the US where they might care about papers.