Just received conditional green card and I think my husband is cheating on me

[AngPat 0]

I am writing this for a friend. She just received her conditional green card after being married four about 7 months. She genuinely fell in love with her husband and now has reason to believe that he has in the past and currently is cheating on her.  Now that she has suspected that something is going one, he is accusing her of only getting married to get her Greencar, etc. He has been picking fights with her and just contradicting everything. It is absolutely not the case. She's college educated, kind and beautiful inside out. She is more educated than him and he is not verbally abusing her.   In any case he is threatening with annulment or divorce? What recourse does she have? Can she get a job with a conditional permit? Can her employer sponsor her.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I would like to do as much as I can to help her get through this.  I should mention that she has stated that if she is going to be treated the way she is, she would rather go back to her home country but of course would like to continue her life in the US to help her mother back in her home country.  She is no way wants to stay with this man if he is going to treat her with the disrespect that he has shown in the short 6 months that they have been married. 

 

TIA!

[Ontarkie 14,265]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from Off Topic - As similar topics are discussed here.~~

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

She has a GC therefore she's allowed to work. As long as she has evidence of bona fide marriage (financial co-mingling and co-habitation for the duration of the marriage) she can divorce and file for ROC on her own with a divorce waiver (checkbox on the form).

[geowrian 22,337]

Yes, she can continue to work. She needs to file for ROC if she does get a divorce. As for annulment, I'm not 100% sure, but wouldn't annulment show it was not a bona fide marriage since - by definition - it's marriage based on fraud? If so, then you might be in trouble and need to get a lawyer. That said, if he is cheating on her, then I can't see how he could be granted an annulment w/o her pushing for it. Well, unless he can prove the marriage was just to get a GC, but no such evidence has been presented backing that here (just that he thinks that's why she's accusing him).

 

That said...I'll just note that USCIS will likely assume, based on timing ("just received"), that she did get married just for the GC, or that she withheld the cheating accusation until she got her GC. She will need to be extra sure to have documentation showing a bona fide marriage.

 

I'll just add 2 more points from a personal standpoint. First, suspicion of cheating without actual proof of it means she doesn't trust him (possibly with good reason, but idk the details). I once dated a woman for 8 years before I started to hear things implying she was cheating on me. It's a hard call to make whether to find out or not...I chose to do it and it confirmed what I suspected. if I was wrong, well...the relationship was already over because I know had lost trust in her just by taking that step. Many people would act differently and that's not wrong either. With regard to immigration, I would suspect that they will view the accusation with scrutiny, and he may claim she's just saying that to keep the GC. Without proof either way, what should they believe? Secondly, cheating doesn't necessarily mean the end of a relationship. Marriage counseling may be an alternate route if they otherwise are in a good marriage. Just my $0.02.

Edited January 5, 2017 by geowrian

[Jawaree 718]

She can work, why is she not, saying she needs somrone

else to sponsor her will comes off fishy , & she must be sure

of cheating before accusingif the marriage is over  maybe 

her best bet is to go back home since she is far more educated

than he is,and pick up whre she left off. I hope things work

out for her

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

17 hours ago, geowrian said:

Yes, she can continue to work. She needs to file for ROC if she does get a divorce. As for annulment, I'm not 100% sure, but wouldn't annulment show it was not a bona fide marriage since - by definition - it's marriage based on fraud? If so, then you might be in trouble and need to get a lawyer. That said, if he is cheating on her, then I can't see how he could be granted an annulment w/o her pushing for it. Well, unless he can prove the marriage was just to get a GC, but no such evidence has been presented backing that here (just that he thinks that's why she's accusing him).

 

That said...I'll just note that USCIS will likely assume, based on timing ("just received"), that she did get married just for the GC, or that she withheld the cheating accusation until she got her GC. She will need to be extra sure to have documentation showing a bona fide marriage.

 

I'll just add 2 more points from a personal standpoint. First, suspicion of cheating without actual proof of it means she doesn't trust him (possibly with good reason, but idk the details). I once dated a woman for 8 years before I started to hear things implying she was cheating on me. It's a hard call to make whether to find out or not...I chose to do it and it confirmed what I suspected. if I was wrong, well...the relationship was already over because I know had lost trust in her just by taking that step. Many people would act differently and that's not wrong either. With regard to immigration, I would suspect that they will view the accusation with scrutiny, and he may claim she's just saying that to keep the GC. Without proof either way, what should they believe? Secondly, cheating doesn't necessarily mean the end of a relationship. Marriage counseling may be an alternate route if they otherwise are in a good marriage. Just my $0.02.

 

I agree with this post but would like to point out that even with an  annulment she can file ROC herself with the divorce waiver but she must have

proof of having entered a good faith marriage and show co mingled evidence.
Rather than suspecting and accusing him, in my opinion she needs to find out the truth and go from there.

 

[sparkles_ 456]

Well, as pointed out, she can file ROC on her own with whatever documentation she has. And getting an annulment usually requires some hard proof of scamming, not just someone's gut feeling or connecting dots they think they see. Also she won't look good doing ROC alone based on saying she had a hunch he was cheating.

 

I think that there are three sides to this story (his, hers, the actual truth) and you only know one of them so far. Best you can do for whoever is asking you this is tell them seek legal advice because the timeline and her suddenly thinking he is a cheat is suspect.

Edited January 6, 2017 by sparkles_

[David & Diana R 1,005]

20 hours ago, AngPat said:

I am writing this for a friend. She just received her conditional green card after being married four about 7 months. She genuinely fell in love with her husband and now has reason to believe that he has in the past and currently is cheating on her.  Now that she has suspected that something is going one, he is accusing her of only getting married to get her Greencar, etc. He has been picking fights with her and just contradicting everything. It is absolutely not the case. She's college educated, kind and beautiful inside out. She is more educated than him and he is not verbally abusing her.   In any case he is threatening with annulment or divorce? What recourse does she have? Can she get a job with a conditional permit? Can her employer sponsor her.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I would like to do as much as I can to help her get through this.  I should mention that she has stated that if she is going to be treated the way she is, she would rather go back to her home country but of course would like to continue her life in the US to help her mother back in her home country.  She is no way wants to stay with this man if he is going to treat her with the disrespect that he has shown in the short 6 months that they have been married. 

 

TIA!

She has already answered her own question.  Go home.

[dawning 212]

1 hour ago, David & Zoila said:

She has already answered her own question.  Go home.

I don't understand why you would go there... If she entered into the marriage in good faith, only to find out that her husband has been cheating on her, why shouldn't she have a choice whether to return home or build a life here?  Is it ok for him to import a wife planning to divorce and deport her if she doesn't tolerate infidelity?

 

I think maybe what she is saying is that she would rather be single in her home country than treated disrespectfully in a relationship in the US, but she is trying to figure out if those are really the only choices.  I would imagine that whether she can ROC on her own depends on the quality of her evidence of bona fide marriage more than anything else.  I wouldn't think it would matter if she can prove his infidelity, given that he is threatening to divorce her for raising the question.

 

If it were me, I would want to know more about what was really going on with the husband, maybe try some kind of counseling or mediation before definitively deciding to divorce, whether leaving or staying in the US.  But I don't think wanting to know her options relating to her immigration status as she tries to make that decision is unreasonable or suspicious, rather it's a smart move of protecting herself against potential manipulation or deception.

[geowrian 22,337]

1 hour ago, David & Zoila said:

She has already answered her own question.  Go home.

It's not fair to only take one small part of what was said and ignore everything around it.

 

22 hours ago, AngPat said:

I should mention that she has stated that if she is going to be treated the way she is, she would rather go back to her home country but of course would like to continue her life in the US to help her mother back in her home country.  She is no way wants to stay with this man if he is going to treat her with the disrespect that he has shown in the short 6 months that they have been married. 

 

TIA!

These highlighted portions are just as important. She's saying that she would rather be single back home than to be married and treated so poorly. So...divorce is a valid option. Then she can be single and in the US, as she stated she would like.

Edited January 6, 2017 by geowrian