Does anyone else hate it here?

[bcking 3,157]

6 minutes ago, Piggus said:

As an Oregonian, you'd have to pay me big $$$ to live in southern California. A lot of Californians like to think their state is superior to every other state when in reality one of their biggest problems is their smug and, at least in SoCal, materialistic attitude. Here in the northwest, if you see a car on the highway with California plates, good luck getting that person to let you pass. Just one example of how the "me first" attitude manifests itself.

This is obviously a huge and somewhat cheeky generalization and I don't mean to offend other Californians here (my own sister is one now!) But the OP's concerns are by no means unique. Many Californians need to get out of their own state and see how people in other states and countries treat their fellow man. With that said, Southern California has its perks and advantages, and I think you will discover these more over time and learn to appreciate what makes California and the country as a whole unique. 

I'm an Oregonian who ended up living in San Diego for 4 years. Completely agree with you. Californians think their state is god's gift to the world. It is a beautiful state, don't get me wrong, but the people in it are just ugly (on the inside, not the outside). San Diego had some of the dullest shallowest people I've ever met. Yes that is a generalization, and I still have a few very good friends from there, but overall not somewhere I could stay forever. I hated going out to meet people. They always seem to have a blank stare.

I feel bad for the OP in that I can see the conflict between staying close to ones family (or spouse's family), and living someplace you feel at home. Especially with twins on the way the proximity to a support network will be very nice to have. My wife hasn't moved here yet but I do worry that there are many things she will not gel with and will find superior where she comes from (UK, I worry because even I agree with most of them having now spent a lot of time there). You just sort of have to take the good with the bad I guess, hoping there is enough good to outweight the bad. If you are limited geographically because of a job and family, then look to your spouse for support and talk to them about trying to find ways to make you feel more at home. People have suggested finding other expats. Maybe make a list or talk about the things that you don't like and then try to talk about ways to solve them. Obviously not liking the personality of people around you is going to be hard to change without moving, but you can try to find ways to seek out people who are more like you. Even in LA I'm sure there are other people with similar interests and attitudes.

[bcking 3,157]

Just now, Piggus said:

If that's "northern" California, what's the part of the state, which is larger than Ohio, that stretches from SF to Oregon?

"Beyond the wall"

[caliliving 606]

San Diego is one of hte most beautiful parts of SoCal! I honeslty love it down there.  Most of california (especially near the coastal areas) are liberal so i would be surprised to find many trump supporters around lol it sounds like you just are homesick and would feel like this way anywhere... try going to middle america and see how many trump supporting people u would find! 

You probably need a hobby and a job! lots of outdoor activities in SoCal.. you are probably after hormonal as you are pregnant - which is completely normal.  There are lots of shootings around here too but most are planned and not a random shooting.  

I also think many people come here with extremly high expectations after watching American movies on tv and think it will be like the movies.  It isn't all that glamour!  Also, coming to the USA on a vacation is much harder then living here when you have to work and your wife is working and you probably dont have a lot of time together. 

it also sounds like you are a little close minded and not even giving anything a try.. saying you wont even go out because you may run into a Trump supporter shows your ignorance!  San Diego has a great trasnportation system!  Take the trolley into downtown, go to the beaches and bike ride from La Jolla to PB. check out the amazing mexican food.. walk the susnet cliffs at sunset!  Go to Encinitas and walk around and check out all the fun little stores.  there is alot to do there.

[bcking 3,157]

San Diego is definitely beautiful, and I agree that it is generally liberal compared to a lot of places in the USA. Though I haven't been there since the Trump phenomena so maybe that's changed. I just find the people very shallow with not a lot going on upstairs. People like to talk about tans, beaches, and surfing mostly.

[Boiler 45,402]

I thought San Diego was a Sanctuary City?

[SeanRN 45]

As a So Cal Trump moron myself, most of us just keep our mouths shut, keep the bumper stickers off our cars and signs off our lawns. I can't imagine you get harassed too terribly often by Trump supporters in LA simply for leaving the house. But, perhaps, if you feel uncomfortable by our mere existence and proximity, maybe you should leave.

Edited December 30, 2016 by SeanRN

[bcking 3,157]

2 minutes ago, SeanRN said:

As a So Cal Trump moron myself, most of us just keep our mouths shut, keep the bumper stickers off our cars and signs off our lawns. I can't imagine you get harassed too terribly often by Trump supporters in LA simply for leaving the house. Maybe you should leave.

Not to mention, and I'm generalizing here, but I don't really see Australian immigrants as a major target for the anti-immigration folks. They tend to focus on the "middle eastern" and "hispanic" looking people. If you are white and an immigrant you can likely get away with a lot more since people won't profile you as much. Sad but true. My wife will be coming to Texas soon, but we're not that worried since she is Anglo-Saxon Christian from England. People won't assume she is an immigrant until they hear her accent, and even then they probably won't care because she's English, and not a Syrian rufugee trying to escape persecution. 

Edited December 30, 2016 by bcking

[SeanRN 45]

6 minutes ago, bcking said:

Not to mention, and I'm generalizing here, but I don't really see Australian immigrants as a major target for the anti-immigration folks. They tend to focus on the "middle eastern" and "hispanic" looking people. If you are white and an immigrant you can likely get away with a lot more since people won't profile you as much. Sad but true.

My fiance is from the Philippines. My children will be half Filipino. Simply wanting immigration laws respected and our borders enforced does not make one Hitler. BTW, Australia's immigration laws are MUCH tougher about who they let in than ours. And it should be further noted that Australia is an island nation NOT bordered by a third-world country.

Edited December 30, 2016 by SeanRN

[EmilyW 1,423]

OP, plenty of idiot Trump supporters wherever you go.  Along with idiotic Hillary supporters.  And idiotic Bernie supporters.  Crazy partisanship has no party boundaries.

I live in Charlotte (which is a state that went with Trump).  I am mixed race.  I am a female.  And I'm an immigrant.  All the supposed top things Trump supporters despise.  Haven't had a single issue.  Not one.  I got a job easily, made friends easily and haven't had a moment where I felt unafraid / unwelcome.

My brother moved here from Boston with his American (and white) wife earlier in the year.  They got ALOT of heat in Boston for being inter-racial.  Once again, welcomed here in Charlotte with no issues.  My brother keeps on saying 'I'm kinda always waiting for someone to attack, but it never happens'.  

I've only spent a few days in LA.  And hated every moment of it.  But, once you see the rest of the country, you'll realize that LA (and alot of the bigger cities) are very different to the US in general.  They have their own cultures, mores, way of doing things.

[Aussieinsocal 6]

Just now, SeanRN said:

My fiance is from the Philippines. My children will be half Filipino. Simply wanting immigration laws respected and our borders enforced does not make one Hitler. BTW, Australia's immigration laws are MUCH tougher about who they let in than ours.

My issues have zero to do with immigration. I actually tend to agree with coming through the boarders legally! 

The whole Trump thing isn't my big issue and I apologies if it offended. For my family it does have some implications and Ive only had to deal with my republican inlaws and social media (Which is the devil!) 

Coming from Aus there are things that USA just so different. Guns- scare the out of me. We don't have guns. Gangs- We don't have gangs, just that sort of thing.

 

[bcking 3,157]

3 minutes ago, SeanRN said:

My fiance is from the Philippines. My children will be half Filipino. Simply wanting immigration laws respected and our borders enforced does not make one Hitler. BTW, Australia's immigration laws are MUCH tougher about who they let in than ours. And it should be further noted that Australia is an island nation NOT bordered by a third-world country.

I don't disagree with you with regards to immigration laws. When my wife and I contacted a lawyer about the immigration process, his advice to us was to have her come here on her ESTA and then never leave. He said he could get her legal status quicker if she overstayed her visa because there were loopholes in the system. I respectfully disagreed and we went the longer route. Still waiting now but we don't regret it.

I have no problem with wanting to limit illegal immigration. I don't think a "wall" is going to do anything (ladders were invented long ago). My problem is that many of the anti-illegal immigration are just generally anti-immigration when people come from "certain" countries. They stereotype, they make assumptions. Middle eastern immigrants are hated, whether they are illegal or not. I don't deny that my wife and I are lucky because we will never be stopped on the street with someone yelling "Go home" to her, since she will never appear  to anyone to be an "immigrant". I know plenty of people, even US Citizens who were born here, who have had to deal with that.

[Aussieinsocal 6]

4 minutes ago, EmilyW said:

OP, plenty of idiot Trump supporters wherever you go.  Along with idiotic Hillary supporters.  And idiotic Bernie supporters.  Crazy partisanship has no party boundaries.

I live in Charlotte (which is a state that went with Trump).  I am mixed race.  I am a female.  And I'm an immigrant.  All the supposed top things Trump supporters despise.  Haven't had a single issue.  Not one.  I got a job easily, made friends easily and haven't had a moment where I felt unafraid / unwelcome.

My brother moved here from Boston with his American (and white) wife earlier in the year.  They got ALOT of heat in Boston for being inter-racial.  Once again, welcomed here in Charlotte with no issues.  My brother keeps on saying 'I'm kinda always waiting for someone to attack, but it never happens'.  

I've only spent a few days in LA.  And hated every moment of it.  But, once you see the rest of the country, you'll realize that LA (and alot of the bigger cities) are very different to the US in general.  They have their own cultures, mores, way of doing things.

How do you find it compared to Aus though? Where did you live in Aus? Im so pleased that you've settled in there! Hopefully I find my place soon! Maybe I just need a little more time!

[bcking 3,157]

2 minutes ago, Aussieinsocal said:

 

Coming from Aus there are things that USA just so different. Guns- scare the out of me. We don't have guns. Gangs- We don't have gangs, just that sort of thing.

 

I totally understand. My wife hates the fact that Texas is so "gun friendly". The UK is the same way. Pretty much everyone in their 20's or younger have grown up with very minimal gun violence so it's a big change. So Cal in general does have a gang problem, though it isn't everyone. Someone else mentioned it, but just to reiterate - Most gun violence in those areas are gang related and therefore not random. They aren't random people being attacked on the street, they are people involved with gangs being shot at by other people involved in gangs. Still scary and violent, but at least a little reassuring I think.

[Aussieinsocal 6]

1 minute ago, bcking said:

I totally understand. My wife hates the fact that Texas is so "gun friendly". The UK is the same way. Pretty much everyone in their 20's or younger have grown up with very minimal gun violence so it's a big change. So Cal in general does have a gang problem, though it isn't everyone. Someone else mentioned it, but just to reiterate - Most gun violence in those areas are gang related and therefore not random. They aren't random people being attacked on the street, they are people involved with gangs being shot at by other people involved in gangs. Still scary and violent, but at least a little reassuring I think.

Excellent point! I need to remember that! Its gone from a small worry to full blown panic attacks when I leave the house. I know I need work on challenging some of my thoughts! I can imagine your wife shared several of my concerns! UK and Aus are so similar! 

[SeanRN 45]

9 minutes ago, Aussieinsocal said:

My issues have zero to do with immigration. I actually tend to agree with coming through the boarders legally! 

The whole Trump thing isn't my big issue and I apologies if it offended. For my family it does have some implications and Ive only had to deal with my republican inlaws and social media (Which is the devil!) 

Coming from Aus there are things that USA just so different. Guns- scare the out of me. We don't have guns. Gangs- We don't have gangs, just that sort of thing.

 

No worries! Not a big gun guy myself. Frankly, guns scare me but I do appreciate the arguments on both sides.