LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR RED FLAGS

[morocco4ever 63]

Again, have you been posting solid advice to help people, and I just don't see it? Or is it the drama you are after?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

oooh, gotta love the 'why is she in mena anyway?' quezzie. But to answer your quezzie, W...the answer is 'because I felt like it'.

Visa in Hand....first of all, check any drama thread and you will see it grabs people's attn. This is why flame threads and drama threads have zillions of hits, and the others don't. To assume that they are all created equal is ignoring the basic facts of any message board.

I was just pointing out to you a flaw in your logic....while you're ironically judging ppl for their judging people...you also then go on to judge the situation as abnormal....while you're telling everyone how pointless and unsupportive it is to judge.

??? Confusing, isn't it!

Furthermore....let's all be honest...we judge things/people all the time. It's a judgement...an opinion...surely we're not sitting here having no opinion whatsoever. While it's great to say 'don't judge'...at the end of the day, everyone does.

Just like you've judged me...or not, right?

I am totally not judging you....Why exactly are you in Mena ?Is your husband a mena brit?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Again, have you been posting solid advice to help people, and I just don't see it? Or is it the drama you are after?

I think she watches too much tv or is bored on the brit board

[Imua 0]

I am an outsider(though I guess you could call me a geographic neighbor, and a lot of the cultural issues are similar) - the S. Asian board is too dang slooooowwwww...

[LaL 418]

I don't think it's a stretch that the drama threads invite further scrutiny by members of the board. However, I can understand regular members defensiveness in situations in which they perceive someone stirring the pot.

Let's move on, and not bait each other. Thanks.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I am an outsider(though I guess you could call me a geographic neighbor, and a lot of the cultural issues are similar) - the S. Asian board is too dang slooooowwwww...

slow can be very good

[~Jackie~ 30]

They say hindsight is 20/20. Looking back, we had flags #1, 2, 8 & 9. (ya have to go back to page one & two to recap this thread).

#1 I knew Mohammed 3 days when he typed 'Will you marry me?'

#2 I was in Jordan 2 days, and we married.

#8 No documentation of a relationship other than IM's and phone records.

#9 Gap in seeing each other

I see now many other waving, red flags that I should have picked up on over the years. I wanted to see all the rosy stuff and not what was really going on. I gave up so much of myself, that when he left me, I almost didn't recognize myself.

Jackie

[HannahP 119]

#1 I knew Mohammed 3 days when he typed 'Will you marry me?'

Not meaning to be snarky or anything -- but what went through your mind when this happened?

[~Jackie~ 30]

Hmmmmmmmmm what went thru my mind...........

I had accepted Islam in May 2002, met Mohammed in July 2002, and he was handsome, funny, and muslim. I had been divorced for 5 years and tired of living my life single. I thought I had met Mr. Right. Did I ask was he marrying me for a greencard? Sure I did. Was I told 'No........ we are different'.?....many times. Did I cook with his family and hold their babies? Yep. Did we take touristy pics all over his county? Yep. What went thru my mind? I thought my husband loved me unconditionally.

(should have gotten a lobotomy instead of married)

Jackie

[Ban Hammer 13,337]

Hmmmmmmmmm what went thru my mind...........

I had accepted Islam in May 2002, met Mohammed in July 2002, and he was handsome, funny, and muslim. I had been divorced for 5 years and tired of living my life single. I thought I had met Mr. Right. Did I ask was he marrying me for a greencard? Sure I did. Was I told 'No........ we are different'.?....many times. Did I cook with his family and hold their babies? Yep. Did we take touristy pics all over his county? Yep. What went thru my mind? I thought my husband loved me unconditionally.

(should have gotten a lobotomy kitten instead of married)

Jackie

[maggieNomar 0]

Hmmmmmmmmm what went thru my mind...........

I had accepted Islam in May 2002, met Mohammed in July 2002, and he was handsome, funny, and muslim. I had been divorced for 5 years and tired of living my life single. I thought I had met Mr. Right. Did I ask was he marrying me for a greencard? Sure I did. Was I told 'No........ we are different'.?....many times. Did I cook with his family and hold their babies? Yep. Did we take touristy pics all over his county? Yep. What went thru my mind? I thought my husband loved me unconditionally.

(should have gotten a lobotomy kitten instead of married)

Jackie

Amazing how many of the same lines I see/hear from others who have brought over fiances/spouses.

[SaadBell 0]

Red Flags, not sure where to even start with that one. I am sure we have a ton, we have 5 kids, both have ex-s, second marriage for both. He makes way more money than I do, so I always think they are saying to themselves oh yea a little gold digger, when I think to my self DID YOU SEE 5 KIDS, one at college who now is talking graduate school. In my favor his oldest daughter is an American citizen, because he was here before. He was just here on 2006. But I am sure that won't do a bit of good, if someone is having a bad day. I hate this, it would be great to go where ever you want without having tons of paper work. His visa didn't run out, but since he had to go back to Kuwait for a family emergency it ran out. So now here we go, but now we will marry and make it legal, so he can come and go. This whole process sucks balls, sorry for the language but it really sucks. They better hurry, cause since aug 06, I am getting real tired, oh well sorry for my little pity party.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Just curious....

I wonder what is considered a "large" age gap, really?

Is 8 years a big deal. We're both still in our twenties... although mine are almost over lol

Thanks

Lisa

Edited November 24, 2007 by Y_habibitk

[polarbear 0]

Just curious....

I wonder what is considered a "large" age gap, really?

Is 8 years a big deal. We're both still in our twenties... although mine are almost over lol

Thanks

Lisa

Ours is 8 years (although he is the older one), and we just had one of the fastest AP in Cairo I have ever heard of.... don't worry about it. I think its when it's a combination of several that the antenas go up for the USCIS, NVC, DOS, Consulate, ect....

[chiquita 0]

Just curious....

I wonder what is considered a "large" age gap, really?

Is 8 years a big deal. We're both still in our twenties... although mine are almost over lol

Thanks

Lisa

i wouldnt worry about it---it's not that large of a difference. the red flags on age gaps are when the woman would be 40 and the man 20.

chi