LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR RED FLAGS

[chiquita 0]

This red flag dicussion has me worried, I do have a couple of Red Flags.

1. There is a significant age difference, I am 57 she is 37.

2. I have been married more than once, was married when we first met, seperated but still married.

The divorce was filed for after her and I met. I am still gathering all the papers for us to complete together on my next visit.

No problem with proving the relationship, worked in her country for over a year, many trips to meet her, in fact going back for a week visit first week in November, going back agin for carnival, and for her birthday in May if she is not here by then.

We have hundreds of pictures, Hotel receipts, emails, letters, plane tickets, visas, passport stamps, the whole gamet.

Have spent much time with her and her entire family, the family has posponed her sisters birthday party until I come in November, the sisters birthday is the same as mine in Sept. but the family wants to have big celebration.

Initially I spoke very little Portuguese, then I took classes at the University there to be able to talk with her, we have no problem communicating now, she is taking Englich lessons.

Our relationship is no sham, it will truely devistate me and her if we are denied.

I may seem silly but having known her for over a year now, I know that I have never been in love before in my life, I have been looking all my life for her.

It upsets me deply to even consider that we would be denied.

Thank You, I just needed to tell someone.

i wouldn't worry to much about denial in your situation. it is considered 'normal' for a man to be older than the woman vs the other way around.

just be sure to provide all your proofs at the interview. sometimes they dont ask for it. be pro-active and 'offer' it. she should be excited to show off her man.

should you get denied---it will certainly get reaffirmed back at the USCIS. if you can handle the time for this to happen your love will get a visa.

my best for a sucessful interview!!!

chi

[sarah and hicham 3]

I still wonder why it is so common in this forum for the woman to be much older than the man in many of the relationships.

and we wonder why you are still wondering....

I don't know why you are wondering why I am curious about it, but cool!

[brnidokiegurl 0]

I still wonder why it is so common in this forum for the woman to be much older than the man in many of the relationships.

and we wonder why you are still wondering....

I don't know why you are wondering why I am curious about it, but cool!

still wondering why your wondering (or curious)

[sara535 15]

I still wonder why it is so common in this forum for the woman to be much older than the man in many of the relationships.

and we wonder why you are still wondering....

I don't know why you are wondering why I am curious about it, but cool!

still wondering why your wondering (or curious)

I just dont even get what the big deal is. As someone else pointed out, I think maybe we just focus more on it here as it tends to get attention as a 'red flag' issue. As far as immigration goes it is something that needs to be addressed but as merely a curiosity issue I think its pretty overblown.

I know of several 'real world' (meaning didnt meet on the internet) couples with 10 year+ age differences where the women were older. Several of my mothers friends were (ARE) happily married to younger men. I am thinking right now of 4 couples that have all been together at least 5 years with age gaps ranging from 5 to 20 years. No one ever thought anything of it except maybe occasionally some good natured ribbing about cradle robbing.

I also have a very close male friend in his early 30s who only ever dates older women (sometimes quite a bit older) and he'll tell you straight up he greatly appreciates the maturity level of older women and has no interest at this time in seeking out anyone younger.

I know the tendency sometimes is to assume that a younger man could only possibly be interested in an older woman for hidden or ulterior motives but I just think thats a flawed assumption.

[Imua 0]

That is very encouraging, Sara.

My husband's name is Govinda(one if the names of Krishna) and I recently found out that Radha(Krishna's wife and one of Govi's nicknames for me) was actually born before Krishna. I wonder if I should mention it if our age difference is brought up at the interview... :lol:

[sarah and hicham 3]

I still wonder why it is so common in this forum for the woman to be much older than the man in many of the relationships.

and we wonder why you are still wondering....

I don't know why you are wondering why I am curious about it, but cool!

still wondering why your wondering (or curious)

Why might that be?

[Caladan 19]

Oh, for crying out loud, people. It's an issue in this forum because one suspected profile of a green card scammer is a young, uneducated man who sits on Internet chat and dating sites all day until he hits on a willing American non-Arab woman, usually a divorcee who is older than the typical first-time bride in his culture and anxious for a change in her life, who meets him once, maybe even converts to Islam "for him", and gets taken for a ride after waiting nearly a year and a half to be with someone who turned out just to want a green card to bring over his loving 'cousin.'

This is not to say that anyone dating a younger man is being scammed. That would be a foolish and prejudicial thing to say. But that's why it comes up.

But if you were all men seeking Russian brides you'd be looking for different signs of scams, too. You'd be wondering if the consulate knows something about such and such a red-light district in Thailand, and is it a problem she worked in a bar? And you'd manage to talk about it without six rounds of ####### ####### #######.

But why you're wondering why she's wondering why you're wondering why she's wondering why he's wondering why the CO is wondering why the blah blah blah let's dance around the elephant in the room taunting it with innuendo. We all know the elephant is there. Can we quit poking it? Can we quit pretending we have no idea why anyone is worried about age gaps, culture gaps, language gaps, meeting once gaps?

[/rant induced by a total lack of EAD]

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Frankly, who gives a damn about who's wondering about this? It's none of their business anyway. Go get a life and stop wondering about why someone is with someone else you don't even know.

Enough already. When any of us want advice about our younger men, we'll ask for it.

Edited October 12, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[Caladan 19]

Frankly, who gives a damn about who's wondering about this? It's none of their business anyway. Go get a life and stop wondering about why someone is with someone else you don't even know.

Enough already.

That too.

[maggieNomar 0]

Oh, for crying out loud, people.

But why you're wondering why she's wondering why you're wondering why she's wondering why he's wondering why the CO is wondering why the blah blah blah let's dance around the elephant in the room taunting it with innuendo. We all know the elephant is there. Can we quit poking it? Can we quit pretending we have no idea why anyone is worried about age gaps, culture gaps, language gaps, meeting once gaps?

[/rant induced by a total lack of EAD]

Wow Caladan. I thought you had it all together. I haven't seen this behavior in you before. Seriously though, I hope you get your EAD soon. I would imagine it's difficult to have a bored spouse at home.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I believe that I have the right to wonder what I posted about, just as everyone has the right to discuss the matter here as we were doing. I posted that it seems common since it is known that a lot of women here are older than their fiance's/husbands. I thought it was a good discussion, but ok. I am not looking for a magic "answer" to my question, nor did I mention fraud. I just think it's interesting.

Relax.

[caybee 21]

[/rant induced by a total lack of EAD]

I heard that.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I believe that I have the right to wonder what I posted about, just as everyone has the right to discuss the matter here as we were doing. I posted that it seems common since it is known that a lot of women here are older than their fiance's/husbands. I thought it was a good discussion, but ok. I am not looking for a magic "answer" to my question, nor did I mention fraud. I just think it's interesting.

Relax.

I have the right to tell you this:

You've been "wondering" out loud about older women with younger men on this forum for at least a couple of years, Sarah. It's not like the subject hasn't been addressed ad nauseum. If you haven't gotten anywhere with it in all this time, who cares anymore? Seriously, it's not like you haven't taken the opportunity to bring it up and discuss it before, poorly and rationally. The fact is, you harp on it a lot, and it's gotten old. Get over it, move on already.

Edited October 12, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

I believe that I have the right to wonder what I posted about, just as everyone has the right to discuss the matter here as we were doing. I posted that it seems common since it is known that a lot of women here are older than their fiance's/husbands. I thought it was a good discussion, but ok. I am not looking for a magic "answer" to my question, nor did I mention fraud. I just think it's interesting.

Relax.

I have the right to tell you this:

You've been "wondering" out loud about older women with younger men on this forum for at least a couple of years, Sarah. It's not like the subject hasn't been addressed ad nauseum. If you haven't gotten anywhere with it in all this time, who cares anymore? Seriously, it's not like you haven't taken the opportunity to bring it up and discuss it before, poorly and rationally. The fact is, you harp on it a lot, and it's gotten old. Get over it, move on already.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

I believe that I have the right to wonder what I posted about, just as everyone has the right to discuss the matter here as we were doing. I posted that it seems common since it is known that a lot of women here are older than their fiance's/husbands. I thought it was a good discussion, but ok. I am not looking for a magic "answer" to my question, nor did I mention fraud. I just think it's interesting.

Relax.

I have the right to tell you this:

You've been "wondering" out loud about older women with younger men on this forum for at least a couple of years, Sarah. It's not like the subject hasn't been addressed ad nauseum. If you haven't gotten anywhere with it in all this time, who cares anymore? Seriously, it's not like you haven't taken the opportunity to bring it up and discuss it before, poorly and rationally. The fact is, you harp on it a lot, and it's gotten old. Get over it, move on already.

correct green where you been lately, hope all is going good for you