VAWA, Part 8

[NICOLA2017 82]

7 minutes ago, Behuman said:

Which hospital do I go to? It's a dumb question but I am going to a doctor but he doesn't know how to write a report. I am going to him from early February. 

Does anyone know what has to be done?

Sandranj is there any way I can ask my doctor to reach you out for more information?  

 

Thanks

I don't know which hospital is neat to you just call them up and ask them about therapy sessions and if they provide evaluation after...use your Google maps and see.Hope this cam help @Behuman

[woody007 2]

9 hours ago, waiting4freedom said:

@woody007 

congratulations 

Thanks

[woody007 2]

On 7/12/2017 at 11:30 PM, gramercy said:

Has anyone here experienced these:

 

1- Severe anxiety symptoms?

(example: pounding heart, jumping every time the doorbell rings, trembling or shaking..etc)

 

2- OCD after trauma?

like... not wanting to touch anything the abuser touched?

 

Please share if there is something you have done helped you cope or feel better.

 

 

My x  has OCD. Like crazy

[Sandra G. 5,057]

11 hours ago, iwillsurvive said:

 

According to USCIS processing times, Santa Ana was at October 8th on May 31st. That is 7.5 months. I know that the times posted aren't accurate for all cases but I am wondering why you say 9-12 months for all of CA? Just hoping it is closer to processing times posted. 

 

I handled thousands of VAWA cases in the past 20 years and what I posted is considering what I saw in each State. All my cases in NYC and CA always took 9/12 months to have an interview set up.

[Sandra G. 5,057]

8 hours ago, Behuman said:

Which hospital do I go to? It's a dumb question but I am going to a doctor but he doesn't know how to write a report. I am going to him from early February. 

Does anyone know what has to be done?

Sandranj is there any way I can ask my doctor to reach you out for more information?  

 

Thanks

 

 YOU said you are going to a doctor, but are you going to the doctor to get medication for depression or PTSD? The doctor has to write the medication name, prescribed for what and to take for how long.But just a letter stating what the doctor prescribed is not enough for a VAWA case if you don't have a police report or a psychological evaluation done.

 

A psychological evaluation should be done by a PSYCHOLOGIST or a counselor specialized in domestic violence. You must attend 5/7 sessions of therapy. A great evaluation will have between 9/13 pages and the professional must write the abuse with details, your background, onset of the problem, diagnose, tests performed, the treatment recommended and referral. If the psychologist doesn't know how to draft an evaluation then your evaluation will be garbage.

 

Sorry but I  do not have time to deal with doctor/psychologists. I have hundreds of cases per year and many people ask me to talk to their psychologists but if I do this for one person I have to do for everyone, and I decided long time ago that my help will be limited to review the VAWA affidavits and forms, nothing  else

[Sandra G. 5,057]

22 minutes ago, woody007 said:

My x  has OCD. Like crazy

What Gramercy described is not OCD. It's caused by PTSD.

 

I have OCD( fear of germs or contamination, repeatedly checking on things, excessive cleaning and handwashing hands etc.)

[luoboy 0]

Is one ineligible for VAWA if a random woman claims the VAWA applicant during a separation fathered a baby her baby.Even if the VAWA applicant did not sign the birth certificate.

[iwillsurvive 254]

41 minutes ago, luoboy said:

Is one ineligible for VAWA if a random woman claims the VAWA applicant during a separation fathered a baby her baby.Even if the VAWA applicant did not sign the birth certificate.

No you could even have children with anyone you want during the process, you just can't get re-married during the process or else you become ineligible. 

[gramercy 141]

6 hours ago, woody007 said:

My x  has OCD. Like crazy

Thanks for sharing that information!

I was simply asking for helpful tips to cope until I overcome this phase!

OCD is not crazy but can be tormenting when I have to wash excessively & have an issue touching things             

 

 

 

Edited July 14, 2017 by gramercy

[iwillsurvive 254]

6 minutes ago, gramercy said:

Thanks for sharing that information!

I was simply asking those who go through it for helpful tips to cope until I overcome this phase!

and OCD is not crazy.

 

 

 

I highly suggest therapy and also to get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex, whether it's gifts from him, furniture, jewelry or even just anything that triggers any type of anxiety. 

[Sandra G. 5,057]

2 hours ago, luoboy said:

Is one ineligible for VAWA if a random woman claims the VAWA applicant during a separation fathered a baby her baby.Even if the VAWA applicant did not sign the birth certificate.

 

 

The person cannot get married while VAWA is pending, having a child is ok.

 

Idk if you were talking about yourself or about a friend but here is my two cents...do the DNA test, if the test comes up positive then man up and be a father to your child!

Edited July 14, 2017 by sandranj

[Dennisbbest 12]

please can somebody help me out with this question...can i go register to technical school with just EAD card or i need to wait till VAWA approved? file in late august 2016 

[gramercy 141]

On ‎7‎/‎13‎/‎2017 at 1:33 PM, Ms.Green said:

I have the same symptoms. Around February I went ahead and asked for a therapist from my victims advocate. I've been going ever since. They diagnosed me with PTSD and depression. She also wrote an affidavit for me saying that I am going to therapy and what my diagnosis is due to the abuse. You need to get a therapist, especially if you are like me, no family or friends. It makes it harder to get over the trauma if you have no one to talk to. Mine also gave me pointers on how to handle the anxiety. The non profit that helped me pays for the therapy so I just go and let it all out. Since February I've been doing much better, it definitely helps a ton. 

 

After I managed to escape I threw out everything that reminded me of him. I mean everything. That helps me with not getting additional triggers that could worsen the PTSD.

 

And if you ever want to talk, I'm always here to share and listen.

@Ms.Green I'm totally on my own here like you. 

I did inquire about counseling and hopefully will see someone very soon it was a big step for me to even ask but I will get the courage to open up (It's easier for me to offer help than ask for it) I'm glad it's working for you, this is very encouraging and thanks for willing to talk perhaps I can use some tips to manage.

 

@iwillsurvive My ex kicked me out of our home with nothing, so getting rid of things wasn't a major issue at the time, after failing to work it out I  moved to different states and no one here knows I am married even I hoped & tried to forget it, until mom suffered a heart attack & I couldn't wait anymore to resolve this to be with her, so I sought legal consultation & learned about VAWA it gives me some hope but this process has dragged me into another long dark cave of stress and depression. Unfortunately while all of this is happening I suffered another assault incident at my place a few months ago (followed by threats & harassment despite police reports) and since then I'm a mess. if my doorbell even by mistake I become extremely terrified that I feel I'm gonna pass out, two nights ago this happened and I couldn't breathe and my pulse is unreal then I broke down. some small things can send me to a state of panic and extreme fear. In addition to excessive washing, checking the door and other ocd like symptoms , which @sandranj pointed it could be triggered by PTSD.... I accept that I might have to force myself to face it, so I can get over it that's why I posted my question here.

 

Thank you @Mnmnm, @sandranj, @Ms.Green, @Hopeful diva , @iwillsurvive for weighing in it's really heartwarming specially during times of feeling alone & vulnerable your advise & suggestions are truly appreciated.

 

 

 

 

 

[luoboy 0]

16 hours ago, sandranj said:

The person cannot get married while VAWA is pending, having a child is ok.

 

Idk if you were talking about yourself or about a friend but here is my two cents...do the DNA test, if the test comes up positive then man up and be a father to your child!

The woman has teamed up with my wife and currently give me the biggest headache.I don't even have a stable job coz I have no work permit.

A lawyer advised me to wait to sign the birth certificate till I am done with the immigration issue and another family/immigration lawyer told me in Georgia law somebody is not a father unless they sign the birth certificate.

The woman agreed to a DNA test though my friends said in case I do a DNA test child support services will take more money from my check.

The woman's husband was in prison and after she was pregnant she divorced her husband thinking I was gonna marry her.Something I didn't intend to do so soon bse I am still legally married to my wife who keeps avoiding a divorce.(And also my mom doesn't trust another black American woman).

When she had the baby after 2 months her now ex husband got out of prison.He is a bussiness owner and he bought a house for them and a new car for her.(her third car) and they planned to get remarried in July.

But because of my wife's influence she still bothered me for money to help her pay for the daycare.During that argument my wife said the woman has an aunty who works for ICE and they gonna start my deportation process.

I keep calling the immigration hotline though my alien number is not in the system.

Recently my wife called me saying the woman left her ex husband's(fiancee) house because of cheating.My phone was off so the woman blew my mom's phone until my mom sent her money.

My wife 3 months ago told me she had filed for divorce now yesterday she called me and said she is filling a form I130 and when I asked her about the divorce she said she picked the papers but didn't file.

So I don't know if I should include the games that woman and my wife are playing in a VAWA application Or just stick to my wife.All 2 cents much appreciated.

[MsSara 2]

Randranj and fellow vawa applicants, I have a question, anyone please advice.

 

I have just moved to WA State. I had to change food stamps and everything for the kids from FL to WA. Now apart from my kids food stamp and cash assistance they gave me food stamp and cash assistance too, they told me both cash and food are not federal benefit, its state benefit. I told them i cannot take  cash assistance because i will have my green card denied because of being a public charge. But they said its not federal funds its state money i qualify for it and i must take it,  its not an option since am homeless living  in shelter and the state is helping me with that money to get housing and be in a home with the kids. 

 

What is your opinion about this cash assistance?.Am i not going to be denied my permanent resident because of being public charge? Please advice, Thank you