VAWA, Part 8

[Over come 50]

2 hours ago, courageous soul said:

hello everybody, i need help. I have been a silent reader of all you amazing and courageous beings. I have not being able to write here because I could not bring myself to. In fact no one knows my story not even my own family or friends. I came to USA in Dec 2016. Got married same month. my husband became abusive soon as we got married. In first week of marriage he slapped me because a previous co worker contacted me asking advice about resigning. I was woken up with having my head hit against bed frame because he was looking through my phone and saw this message. He accused me of cheating and told me I could not have any friends or shouldn't talk to my family members back home. He threatened to not file AOS. This continued for days where he would wake me up in the morning or middle of night with my hair being pulled or kicked. My husband is a big and tall man. He then put his weeding ring on pawn. It hurt me. I begged him not to do it. He threw me to the floor and kicked me. I had  big bruises on my back. I was going to call the police when he told me that he will call my parents to tell them to come collect me. He refused to take me to doctors because he said it would heal. He verbally abuses me on daily basis. I get kicked and pushed off bed as he pleases and when he likes. He forces himself on me and when I say no, he forces himself in me. He holds me down and when I beg and cry to tell him to let me go, he laughs and tells me he likes watching me cry and in pain. He has hit me 3 times in public and it was horrible. my body was shaking. He is a heavy alcoholic and he hits me when he drinks too. his mom lives with us and when he hits me, she just watches and encourages the abuse.He strangled me twice yesterday and threatening to kill me. He said he does not care if he goes to jail. 

 

I never knew anything about VAWA until for the past few weeks. He let me file AOS back in feb 2017 after a lot of begging and complying with whatever he wants. I wish I knew about VAWA before so I could have applied earlier and not done AOS through him. I have SSN and my EAD arrived last week.

 

He will not take me to dmv to get license or will not let me get a car. I found a good job but he refusing to take me to work. I don't know what to do. I feel so lonely. I have not told anyone about this because I come from strict indian background and once a woman is married, her previous homes door is closed. I am scared what my family and friends back home will say but it is eating me up inside.

 

can I still file VAWA? Even though I have pending AOS? what if I file VAWA and  my AOS gets approved?

 

please everyone help me.I have plenty of bonafide marriage paperwork but no abuse proof. I never took photos. I have been too scared to call police because he threatens me he will call my family and he knows I love my family very much so he uses that. I have never been to doctors/ hospital because he refuses to take me. I cannot afford counseling. what do I do??

 

 

 

 

It is so sad and heartbreaking. The things we go through..... I feel your pain. I would advise you to gather as much information as possible and leave that man before he murder you. Take that leap and run for your life. File Wawa as soon as possible before he cancel his petition. You already have your EAD, you can always get a job to support yourself. You will be just fine, you will get stronger with time.

[gramercy 141]

7 minutes ago, atlteddy said:

I have a question... I applied my SSN while I was an international student, thus there is a "valid for work" on my SSN paper, so I assume it is only valid when my EAD is valid too. Since I already got my I360 approved, should I renew my SSN?

Yes whenever there is an update in your information or immigration status you should inform the Social Security Administration. i.e.

1- Once your EAD is issued you receive SSN "for work only" if you already have that on your SSN, I'm not sure what's to be changed, but so call the SSA as it's good to double check just to make sure all is correct.

 

2- You will need to update again when you become a legal permanent resident in this case they will send you a new card with the same number but no restrictions

[iwillsurvive 254]

8 hours ago, atlteddy said:

I have a question... I applied my SSN while I was an international student, thus there is a "valid for work" on my SSN paper, so I assume it is only valid when my EAD is valid too. Since I already got my I360 approved, should I renew my SSN?

 

You will have this SSN for life. I went to my local social security office after receiving my SSN because I also already had one from previous stays and they said nothing changes and I didn't need to come and to come back when I receive my GC. 

[Hopeful diva 99]

8 hours ago, atlteddy said:

I have a question... I applied my SSN while I was an international student, thus there is a "valid for work" on my SSN paper, so I assume it is only valid when my EAD is valid too. Since I already got my I360 approved, should I renew my SSN?

Just wait till you get your green card. I don't think they will be able to lift that "valid for work only" restriction until you get your green card and become a permanent resident. This is the case for all of us here as well ... my social also says valid for employment only 

[Hopeful diva 99]

11 hours ago, courageous soul said:

hello everybody, i need help. I have been a silent reader of all you amazing and courageous beings. I have not being able to write here because I could not bring myself to. In fact no one knows my story not even my own family or friends. I came to USA in Dec 2016. Got married same month. my husband became abusive soon as we got married. In first week of marriage he slapped me because a previous co worker contacted me asking advice about resigning. I was woken up with having my head hit against bed frame because he was looking through my phone and saw this message. He accused me of cheating and told me I could not have any friends or shouldn't talk to my family members back home. He threatened to not file AOS. This continued for days where he would wake me up in the morning or middle of night with my hair being pulled or kicked. My husband is a big and tall man. He then put his weeding ring on pawn. It hurt me. I begged him not to do it. He threw me to the floor and kicked me. I had  big bruises on my back. I was going to call the police when he told me that he will call my parents to tell them to come collect me. He refused to take me to doctors because he said it would heal. He verbally abuses me on daily basis. I get kicked and pushed off bed as he pleases and when he likes. He forces himself on me and when I say no, he forces himself in me. He holds me down and when I beg and cry to tell him to let me go, he laughs and tells me he likes watching me cry and in pain. He has hit me 3 times in public and it was horrible. my body was shaking. He is a heavy alcoholic and he hits me when he drinks too. his mom lives with us and when he hits me, she just watches and encourages the abuse.He strangled me twice yesterday and threatening to kill me. He said he does not care if he goes to jail. 

 

I never knew anything about VAWA until for the past few weeks. He let me file AOS back in feb 2017 after a lot of begging and complying with whatever he wants. I wish I knew about VAWA before so I could have applied earlier and not done AOS through him. I have SSN and my EAD arrived last week.

 

He will not take me to dmv to get license or will not let me get a car. I found a good job but he refusing to take me to work. I don't know what to do. I feel so lonely. I have not told anyone about this because I come from strict indian background and once a woman is married, her previous homes door is closed. I am scared what my family and friends back home will say but it is eating me up inside.

 

can I still file VAWA? Even though I have pending AOS? what if I file VAWA and  my AOS gets approved?

 

please everyone help me.I have plenty of bonafide marriage paperwork but no abuse proof. I never took photos. I have been too scared to call police because he threatens me he will call my family and he knows I love my family very much so he uses that. I have never been to doctors/ hospital because he refuses to take me. I cannot afford counseling. what do I do??

 

 

 

 

Your story is heartbreaking. I would advice you to try and plan an escape from this extremely abusive man. find a shelter that will take you in and move away from him as soon as possible. While at the shelter you can file a restraining order against him.... make it your goal to get a final restraining order against him so that he is made to completely stay away from you for a long time. Shelter documents, affidavit from shelter staff and temporary + final restraining order can serve as your proof of abuse. Before you leave the house, make sure you have made copies and gathered enough information/ documentation that will help you file a strong vawa case. 

Yes you can file vawa even with your pending AOS, I and many others filed for vawa after we had an aos already pending. You will not be the first. 

Your safety should be your utmost priority right now, nothing more. I understand your fears regarding your family values about marriage, I come from a culture like that too. But we must put our fears and concerns behind us and fight for ourselves first. 

I wish you the best, do not hesitate to reach out to any of us on this platform for assistance if you feel lost or confused. 

[courageous soul 0]

12 hours ago, gramercy said:

@courageous soul  You can file VAWA with a pending AOS like many others here stated to have done successfully. Your AOS will be transferred to Vermont Service Center until a decision is made regarding your VAWA petition. 

 

You may even continue to live with your spouse as you wait for your VAWA case to be approved but honestly you should just leave this man for your safety; he only wants a slave. Try to find a safe alternative ASAP a friend or  a shelter or contact a domestic violence center. You don't need him to get a job, a license, you just need to be strong and take the first step.

 

 

Gather your documents andfile for VAWA NOW!!!

Thank you gramercy. I was s cared I will not be able to file VAWA with pending AOS 

 

12 hours ago, Lunalotto said:

Omg it breaks my heart to hear your story, i understand about your background and your fears, believe me you are not alone in this and you will overcome it, one day i promise everything will get better but you have to be brave and smart, now you now about vawa and you can file for it at any time even if he already apply for aos, good thing is you have those proofs for bonafide marriage, now time to collext proof of abuse, if he checks your phone make sure you close this group window every time you use it, also try to record him and take as many pictures as you can, send all the proof to a safe email or give them to someone you can trust and in the mean time look for a violence support group, what state do you live in? Maybe we can help you find some organization around you that will be able to help to leave him but most important next time he hits you call the police, also try to talk to hi mom and record it without her knowing try to make her talk about the abuse, or text them so you can save those messages, beforw he delets them take screenshots send them to yourself

thank you so much for your kind words. I don't feel alone anymore. We are all in this together. You have empowered me to help fight this :). I am terrified to leave him. I tried to leave him when he strangled me and he held me down. When he is at work, his mum is always at home and she will call to tell him I left. I don't know where to go. I live in Dallas, TX. I will talk to his mum about abuse tonight and record it and try find text messages in his phone proving abuse because he does not delete messages. Are we able to send recordings with our vawa? 

 

[courageous soul 0]

11 hours ago, #Godgotthis said:

It is so sad and heartbreaking. The things we go through..... I feel your pain. I would advise you to gather as much information as possible and leave that man before he murder you. Take that leap and run for your life. File Wawa as soon as possible before he cancel his petition. You already have your EAD, you can always get a job to support yourself. You will be just fine, you will get stronger with time.

 

2 hours ago, Hopeful diva said:

Your story is heartbreaking. I would advice you to try and plan an escape from this extremely abusive man. find a shelter that will take you in and move away from him as soon as possible. While at the shelter you can file a restraining order against him.... make it your goal to get a final restraining order against him so that he is made to completely stay away from you for a long time. Shelter documents, affidavit from shelter staff and temporary + final restraining order can serve as your proof of abuse. Before you leave the house, make sure you have made copies and gathered enough information/ documentation that will help you file a strong vawa case. 

Yes you can file vawa even with your pending AOS, I and many others filed for vawa after we had an aos already pending. You will not be the first. 

Your safety should be your utmost priority right now, nothing more. I understand your fears regarding your family values about marriage, I come from a culture like that too. But we must put our fears and concerns behind us and fight for ourselves first. 

I wish you the best, do not hesitate to reach out to any of us on this platform for assistance if you feel lost or confused. 

Thank you so much guys, I feel a sense of relief and comfort that I am not the only one and that I do a family . It breaks my heart to have read all the torment and abuse everyone has suffered in their journey but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I am looking for a shelter. If I have evidence from the shelter, will I still need psychological evaluation? I do not have health insurance and cannot afford counseling etc. 

[gramercy 141]

@courageous soul I think @sandranj mentioned that sound/voice clips are NOT accepted by USCIS.

You may include all details in your statement, for example:  a friend listened to a conversation with my husband and heard him verbally insult, curse & belittle me so  my friend mentioned it in his affidavit since he actually witnessed it.

Try to keep transcripts, texts, emails, screenshot whatever helps your case.

 

[courageous soul 0]

3 minutes ago, gramercy said:

@courageous soul I think @sandranj mentioned that sound/voice clips are NOT accepted by USCIS.

You may include all details in your statement, for example:  a friend listened to a conversation with my husband and heard him verbally insult, curse & belittle me so  my friend mentioned it in his affidavit since he actually witnessed it.

Try to keep transcripts, texts, emails, screenshot whatever helps your case.

 

thank you gramercy  that is useful to know and will help build my affidavit because I do not even know where to start. what type of format will the affidavits have to be? thank you again xx

[Hopeful diva 99]

29 minutes ago, courageous soul said:

 

Thank you so much guys, I feel a sense of relief and comfort that I am not the only one and that I do a family . It breaks my heart to have read all the torment and abuse everyone has suffered in their journey but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I am looking for a shelter. If I have evidence from the shelter, will I still need psychological evaluation? I do not have health insurance and cannot afford counseling etc. 

No you don't need psychological evaluation when you have shelter documents , restraining orders and affidavits from shelter staff and yourself as proof of abuse. Only time you really need psychological evaluation is if you claim that your abuse is mental abuse which is not the case. Your claim is mostly physical abuse which is why you had to flee to the shelter. Just make sure that your self affidavit is very precise and tells your story of abuse well with dates. You will be fine trust me. There have been people in way worse situation than yours and they made it through. Stay strong 

[Mnmnm 11]

56 minutes ago, gramercy said:

@courageous soul I think @sandranj mentioned that sound/voice clips are NOT accepted by USCIS.

You may include all details in your statement, for example:  a friend listened to a conversation with my husband and heard him verbally insult, curse & belittle me so  my friend mentioned it in his affidavit since he actually witnessed it.

Try to keep transcripts, texts, emails, screenshot whatever helps your case.

 

@courageous soul. Sound clips/ voice clips are not accepted but you can transcribe them and submit that. Im sorry for what happened to you but don't lose hope. Keep fighting your battle and everyone here is very helpful so this thread and the people here will be very valuable to you. Keep faith 

[Mnmnm 11]

Hi guys. I need guidance for SSN. I got an EAD card with my marriage name. I changed my name back to my maiden name in the divorce. Can I apply for SSN with the EAD card with the marriage name?

 

Can I change my name on the SSN since I changed back to my maiden name? Or do I apply for new EAD first before getting a SSN? 

 

I hope i delivered my self clearly.  

[gramercy 141]

22 minutes ago, Mnmnm said:

Hi guys. I need guidance for SSN. I got an EAD card with my marriage name. I changed my name back to my maiden name in the divorce. Can I apply for SSN with the EAD card with the marriage name?

Can I change my name on the SSN since I changed back to my maiden name? Or do I apply for new EAD first before getting a SSN? 

I hope i delivered my self clearly.  

@Mnmnm I haven't done this so this is just a humble opinion:

 

When you apply for a SSN it takes 1-4 weeks, and when you apply for an EAD it may take months, so this is only a suggestion to see if you can prevent the long wait you may even visit or call social security administration to double check:

 

It's possible you can obtain a SSN if you provide the legal proof of your name change when you apply for SSN & there is a space in the application forms for name changes/other names used (so it's should be an option right).

Don't jump the gun lol, if SSA employees is the one who says you must get a new EAD first then update your document asap.

[NICOLA2017 82]

Hi can Any one explain to me this new update I saw on my application 

 

Nov 2016 uscis received my package for green card through marriage 

Dec more evidence of passport pic and affirmative of support 

Dec biometrics 

JAN 7 interview ready to be scheduled 

March EAD card issues.

April 14 mailed vAwa case 

May 10 got receipts 

My big question is 

May 11 my original date of interview ready to be scheduled change to May 10.....can anyone please explain why ? 

I asked my lawyer but she seemed to not have a clue.

Edited May 13, 2017 by NICOLA2017

[Sandra G. 5,057]

On 5/12/2017 at 11:20 PM, courageous soul said:

hello everybody, i need help. I have been a silent reader of all you amazing and courageous beings. I have not being able to write here because I could not bring myself to. In fact no one knows my story not even my own family or friends. I came to USA in Dec 2016. Got married same month. my husband became abusive soon as we got married. In first week of marriage he slapped me because a previous co worker contacted me asking advice about resigning. I was woken up with having my head hit against bed frame because he was looking through my phone and saw this message. He accused me of cheating and told me I could not have any friends or shouldn't talk to my family members back home. He threatened to not file AOS. This continued for days where he would wake me up in the morning or middle of night with my hair being pulled or kicked. My husband is a big and tall man. He then put his weeding ring on pawn. It hurt me. I begged him not to do it. He threw me to the floor and kicked me. I had  big bruises on my back. I was going to call the police when he told me that he will call my parents to tell them to come collect me. He refused to take me to doctors because he said it would heal. He verbally abuses me on daily basis. I get kicked and pushed off bed as he pleases and when he likes. He forces himself on me and when I say no, he forces himself in me. He holds me down and when I beg and cry to tell him to let me go, he laughs and tells me he likes watching me cry and in pain. He has hit me 3 times in public and it was horrible. my body was shaking. He is a heavy alcoholic and he hits me when he drinks too. his mom lives with us and when he hits me, she just watches and encourages the abuse.He strangled me twice yesterday and threatening to kill me. He said he does not care if he goes to jail. 

 

I never knew anything about VAWA until for the past few weeks. He let me file AOS back in feb 2017 after a lot of begging and complying with whatever he wants. I wish I knew about VAWA before so I could have applied earlier and not done AOS through him. I have SSN and my EAD arrived last week.

 

He will not take me to dmv to get license or will not let me get a car. I found a good job but he refusing to take me to work. I don't know what to do. I feel so lonely. I have not told anyone about this because I come from strict indian background and once a woman is married, her previous homes door is closed. I am scared what my family and friends back home will say but it is eating me up inside.

 

can I still file VAWA? Even though I have pending AOS? what if I file VAWA and  my AOS gets approved?

 

please everyone help me.I have plenty of bonafide marriage paperwork but no abuse proof. I never took photos. I have been too scared to call police because he threatens me he will call my family and he knows I love my family very much so he uses that. I have never been to doctors/ hospital because he refuses to take me. I cannot afford counseling. what do I do??

 

 

 

 

 

 

You should go to a shelter for victims of domestic violence, file a restraining order against him and you should be ok to prove abuse with a restraing order and a letter from the shelter. USCIS does not accept audio and videos.

 

You said you came to USA in Dec 2016 and got married same month. Did you enter with K1 visa? if you entered in the U.S under the visa waiver you might have  a problem with your AOS to prove bonafide marriage and specially because you got married  days/weeks after arriving in the U.S.

Edited May 14, 2017 by sandranj