Need to learn english and arabic

[chiquita 0]

quote name='Maggie724' date='Apr 2 2007, 02:34 PM' post='814662']

No, I am saying that making someone aware of what could be possible redflags is a waste of time. Simply because people are aware of their situation more than anyone else. I feel that it does not need to be broadcasted on an innocent thread asking for language help.

Dating MENA men-you hear of all the possible outcomes. All anyone has to do is their own research.

I do not believe that making people aware of red flags is a waste of time. Beating them into the ground for continuing their quest is. I am glad that people not only made me aware of red flags in my case, but also told me how to deal with them in advance. I didn't get blindsided, because I was prepared and was able to prepare my SO also. We both knew how we felt about our own particulars and therefore were comfortable with the questions, even from the CO. Had we not discussed this in advance, he may have gotten worked up at the interview. which may have made the CO suspicious. I'm happy that I was warned by those who had gone before me. Thanks guys!!

good job!!!

chi

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Yea, thanks, everyone!

[peezey 0]

hello...knock knock, not sure where you got that idea. red flags get the petition RETURNED to USCIS asking that the petition be REVOKED!!! the CO needs no concrete evidence to do this!!! if one wants to be laxadaisical about it, why bother? even filing a petition??

chi

I agree, chi, and we are all well-served to listen to your experiences, and to visit Kiya's thread that both of you have worked so hard on.

[~kiyah~ 14]

Yikes... I would imagine you would have a hard time if you don't share a common language...

I guess personally I can't imagine even thinking about marrying someone I can't speak to clearly using a common language. I just don't get it.

if we are thinking that, well what will the CO be thinking?

Connie you need to be concerned about this issue. or you will be joining the group of us who were denied a visa "due to the validity of the relationship". you dont want this, no way, been there and it is not nice or easy or good or pretty or cheap.

chi

Chi is right on when saying this to you. Many petitions are returned for lesser reasons than a language barrier...this is a HUGE red flag for this condulate and something you really need to be concerned about. not just learning each others' languages.

Even though he can ask for his interview be held in Arabic...he MUST hold his interview in a language common to the both of you...meaning unless you both speak fluent Arabic, Spanish, Italian, etc...his interview needs to be in English.

Making people aware of possible red flags is definitely not a waste of time. Many couples do not even realize what red flags their relationship may carry...especially without knowing what this consulate considers an actual red flag. Couples need as much information as possible to fully understand what they are facing...escpecially when it comes to Casa.

OP...if you come back to this thread, please read what Chi is saying, she means well in the kindest sense...please read in the returned petitions thread as well. There is a lot of information there which can help you...all of this advice is coming straight from couples who have faced a returned petition:

Returning Petitions to the USCIS via 221g

The "Learn Moroccan Arabic (Darija)" Yahoo group is a great place for you to involve yourself in Moroccan Arabic. Good luck to you both.

~Kiyah~

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Wayyyyyyyyyy back about 7 pages this (woman, girl, person) acknowledged she KNEW they had problems, she KNEW the language needed some work, she hasnt filed, she ask for help on the language to help overcome the problems, and you wonder why she probably wont post again??

[Nasturtium 500]

I wish the original poster luck.

I'm not a trusting person usually, so I do have doubts about a lot of relationships I have encountered on the internet-- women who have come to me I mean, telling me about their SO. Which is fine. If I have a real big doubt, I ask a lot of questions and just try to draw their attention to certain issues.

But having said that, if someone knew for SURE who my husband was and that he had nefarious motives-- or if they suspected it-- I would prefer to get a PM immediately! I wouldn't bite anyone's head off! I just expect a well-put together situation. Don't be all "hey, I think I know a cousin who knows a friend who said they think they may have seen your husband in 1998 getting it on with a Syrian girl who said that he said he was going to hunt down an American girl..."

I don't often get the green-card scenario told to me because of our situation-- he's worked on excavations in conjunciton with my university for years now. Not only do many people in my department know him, but also we know a lot of his colleagues. We met AT an excavation.. not online. We took a few trips to decide about marriage. We have the same level of education (MA) and are both going for the same level of education (PhD). We work in the same field. We've published together. He's only 1 year and 8 months older than I am-- 30 and 29 at the moment. His family is hard-core village and into cousin-only marriage.. so we've been slowly introducing me into the family and working our way around social customs to the point of me finally getting into the kitchen! (big deal in his culture). I was married when we met, I wasn't the easy catch. The easy catches were with me on the dig, but he ignored them. He had no guarantee of anything with me. The second issue with me is that if he had used me-- my advisor is one of the most prominent people in my field, and is KNOWN for ruining the reputations of those trying to immigrate by marrying a student. He marches right on down to the embassy and tells on them. My husband informed him and stated our case and in a sense asked his academic permission to marry me. These are just a few of our personal issues.. but... it's not the stereotypical 50+ wedding a 20-year-old poor guy from nowhere.

My husband doesn't speak lovely English, but it's good enough that we get on about 99% of the time in understanding. Sometimes we break out the Arabic/English dictionary. Sometimes I flail my arms around and he says long, drawn-out descriptions of things until we figure out ####### someone is talking about.

I hope no one is talking about me Cause if so, just PM me! I have a lot I can probably add to your stories. No one knows more dirt on me than me!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Sis, if she runs off because of what's been said in this thread, she has worse problems than we know about. Facing the truth will benefit her, not hurt her. She is a newbie with a learning curve. We do have to agree to disagree on this one.

[Jenn! 918]

Wayyyyyyyyyy back about 7 pages this (woman, girl, person) acknowledged she KNEW they had problems, she KNEW the language needed some work, she hasnt filed, she ask for help on the language to help overcome the problems, and you wonder why she probably wont post again??

As is always the case, anything that is discussed here is available to others for browsing and searching. Many people read and do not post and I am sure that there will be more than one person besides the OP who will benefit from the posts here.

[peezey 0]

a couple needs to prepare for this process as there is no absolute guarantee the American government will issue a visa to ANY person. it is 'considered' a privilege if one is issued. we as Americans take our 'rights' for granted. getting a visa issued for the person we love from an other country is NOT a freedom we have. it is a privilege only.

chi

I wanted to address this specifically. I knew nothing of VJ 5.5 years ago when we were doing AOS. We had our evidence and went to our appointment.....easy, right? Mind you, this was in Oct 2001, not a very good time for a MENA man to be doing AOS, but whatever. I thought, "I'm a citizen, this is my husband, here are our bank statements, here are our wedding pics, our lease, our mortgage on rental property, letters from my parents, he's lived here for 10 years....let's get that GC"....but ohhhhhh no, it didn't work that way. Not only were we grilled for an hour, we were separated, I was told I could escape out the back and they'd just arrest him and I'd be free of wrongdoing, we were asked how often we had sex, when we had sex the first time, and on and on. Mind you we'd been together for 4 years at that point, living together, owning property, we're the same age, educational background, economic background, met here, not online, etc. It was the most humiliating hour of my life. And, to top it all off, she wouldn't approve the 2 year GC for another 6 months, including providing ongoing evidence, and 2 more interviews. We were both demoralized and angry and beaten down by the whole process. It takes a lot more than love to get through this #######.

Now I see on VJ our experience was not normal and we could have done a lot to expedite the process. However, I still could never force this AOS because it's a privelege, not a right. And had I known of this kind of resource for information and talking with others, I would have been a far less stressed person during 2002.

Edited April 2, 2007 by peezey

[~kiyah~ 14]

Sis, if she runs off because of what's been said in this thread, she has worse problems than we know about. Facing the truth will benefit her, not hurt her. She is a newbie with a learning curve. We do have to agree to disagree on this one.

Iyeh ukhti

~kiyah~

[brnidokiegurl 0]

She faced it and now trying to overcome it all she did was ask for help...like we all have, we arent disagreeing that there is a situation of a problem, just the way its being addressed.

[peezey 0]

She faced it and now trying to overcome it all she did was ask for help...like we all have, we arent disagreeing that there is a situation of a problem, just the way its being addressed.

No one is being mean or rude, and frankly the OP is really no longer the point. This discussion is always a good one to have, as I said there are quite a few new people in MENA right now.

[chiquita 0]

So you are saying that the consulates just randomly decided what they were going to consider red-flags and that it has nothing to do with an increased chance of fraud?

consulates have a list of 'potential' red flags. per attorney Ellis he listed these and by far are not the only ones:

1. A very brief courtship followed by a plunge into matrimony;

2. A marriage ceremony arranged only a short time after petitioner arrives in the beneficiary’s country and they meet for the first time;

3. No common language;

4. Petitioner resides with family members of the beneficiary in the US;

5. Petitioner is employed by or has a business relationship with a relative of beneficiary;

6. Petitioner submits phone records that show he uses a residential phone number that is listed in the name of another person.

7. US divorce followed very quickly by an engagement to foreign beneficiary is often a red flag for consular officers.

8. There is little or no documentary evidence of the relationship prior to the actual engagement.

9. Long gaps of time between the petitioner & beneficiary being together in person.

10. Failure to disclose previous marriages;

11. Failure to disclose previous petitions filed on behalf of other beneficiaries.

[chiquita 0]

this is not about being nice. this is about being informed. Connie asked a question about the language issue between her and her man. many reponded along those lines and others took up the 'red flag' issue (such as myself) just in case she was not aware of such things.

i dont wish to see any couple go through what my husband and I went through. if Connie is aware of her 'red flags' then i say GREAT! but just in case she is not, then i hope in some small way i have helped her to be better prepared or prehaps any other couple who is new to this immigration process and has learned more than they knew before.

if someone comes along and writes not so nice comments, as happens in life (mean people) ignore them and take the good comments for learning.

chi

[Nasturtium 500]

1. A very brief courtship followed by a plunge into matrimony;

7. US divorce followed very quickly by an engagement to foreign beneficiary is often a red flag for consular officers.

Ah-ha! So this would be ours We married 6 months after we met, and umm I divorced (finally, it dragged on for about 8 months) 3 weeks before getting remarried.

Thanks for the list Chiquita. We actually would have waited to get married until the summer but we realized he wasn't coming any time soon and were told marriage would help solidify our case.

We talked about it and decided that since we were getting amrried anyway.. we'd just do it in November and have our party later rather than wait for eternity to pass and possibly still not be together.