Need to learn english and arabic

[AichaKandisha 0]

Sometimes it is the American (female) spouse/fiance duping the ME/NA spouse/fiance. Even active on VJ.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

That, too, has been known to happen.

and didnt green eyes even state that there is an age difference in her relationship??? Why does it mean she is being Duped??? I know Arabs are smooth talkers.... But .......

Everyone knows GEG's age difference and she herself states it's not an issue for them but clearly is a red flag when faced by a CO reviewing a case. No one is saying GEG is being duped, certainly not me, but she shares a common language and culture with her SO, not to mention they've been together for many years. Age difference alone does not a denial make, however, when you take with it language barrier, then the limitations that language barrier puts on your ability to discuss religion, children, family, culture, Casa now has a problem with you.

Anyone want to deny that?

Edited April 2, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[Marry American 0]

How do you know who they are if you can barely understand them?

Everyone on this board talks offline and there are so many times it's been said about many people here "my husband said he will leave her", etc etc etc, and the women keep their mouths shut and it makes me sick. On the front everyone makes like they support each other in these relationships and in reality there is so much b.s behind the scenes. I'm not going to play that game and pretend all this woman has to do is "be positive" and soon her man will have a visa.

I appreciate your honesty about this, peezy.

We are all different and have different opinions about a lot of things, but one thing I cannot tolerate is a woman being duped, and everyone knowing about it or at the very least suspecting it, especially when the people who know about it and talk about it are other women who could potentially be in that very same situation at some point. I can't take it anymore and I will continue to be honest about it.

What makes you the savior of women that are being "duped"? How do you know that being closer in age or having a common language means not being "duped"? How do you know you are not being "duped"?

Since I never claimed to be one of these women who blindly trusts men, I do subscribe to the idea that if someone knows something I don't, they should definitely tell me. I'm not stupid enough to believe what is left unsaid is magically untrue.

What about the adage, you live and learn? People are more aware of their own situation than most people think. So therefore, most things do not need to be said.

Edited April 2, 2007 by i adore you

[peezey 0]

What about the adage, you live and learn? People are more aware of their own situation than most people think. So therefore, most things do not need to be said.

There are dozens of women who have been left, quite unexpectedly, that had no idea to expect such a thing. Search these boards (and countless yahoo groups) for the history and you will see how many wish they'd known more, asked more, been helped more by people in similar situations.

Edited April 2, 2007 by peezey

[ya falaha! 0]

The problem is that most of these women get warnings from others yet ignore them. Most of the time they get down right pissed off at the warner.

[Marry American 0]

What about the adage, you live and learn? People are more aware of their own situation than most people think. So therefore, most things do not need to be said.

There are dozens of women who have been left, quite unexpectedly, that had no idea to expect such a thing. Search these boards (and countless yahoo groups) for the history and you will see how many wish they'd known more, asked more, been helped more by people in similar situations.

I am sure it happens. Divorce is prevalent here in America anyway. I still do not think that the men /women are naive. They know what is going on or what could happen. How can one be sure of anything???

[peezey 0]

The problem is that most of these women get warnings from others yet ignore them. Most of the time they get down right pissed off at the warner.

Very true.

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

The problem is that most of these women get warnings from others yet ignore them. Most of the time they get down right pissed off at the warner.

which is why such needs to be said to the individual diplomatically, not bluntly.

[peezey 0]

What about the adage, you live and learn? People are more aware of their own situation than most people think. So therefore, most things do not need to be said.

There are dozens of women who have been left, quite unexpectedly, that had no idea to expect such a thing. Search these boards (and countless yahoo groups) for the history and you will see how many wish they'd known more, asked more, been helped more by people in similar situations.

I am sure it happens. Divorce is prevalent here in America anyway. I still do not think that the men /women are naive. They know what is going on or what could happen. How can one be sure of anything???

No one can be sure of anything, but history and experience say a lot, and so when someone has a case that in its current state will certainly result in a denial and that person is actually asking what has happened before, why pretend? I agree that most people go into these marriages knowing what they are doing or at the very least should know what they are doing, but that doesn't mean they don't hope for the best and are utterly shocked when things go sour. Of course hindsight is 20/20 but time and again it is said they wish they knew more, had asked more questions up front, had learned more about bi-national, bi-cultural, bi-religious marriages.

[Jenn! 918]

I still do not think that the men /women are naive. They know what is going on or what could happen. How can one be sure of anything???

I would have to disagree with that. How else is it that we see overweight divorcees with children who developed an online relationship with MENA men 20 years their junior going over to a MENA country to marry a man they have never spent any time with in person? I'm not talking about anyone in particular here, just threw together most of the stereotypes.

[ya falaha! 0]

Charles, I've expressed concerns to various ppl diplomatically (in private) and they still got pissed off at me. Unfortunately, my feelings have been correct more times than I'd like. I don't know why everyone is wanting to shoot the messenger.

The problem is that most of these women get warnings from others yet ignore them. Most of the time they get down right pissed off at the warner.

which is why such needs to be said to the individual diplomatically, not bluntly.

[deemabrouk 0]

The problem is that most of these women get warnings from others yet ignore them. Most of the time they get down right pissed off at the warner.

which is why such needs to be said to the individual diplomatically, not bluntly.

Here HERE!!!

[Marry American 0]

I still do not think that the men /women are naive. They know what is going on or what could happen. How can one be sure of anything???

I would have to disagree with that. How else is it that we see overweight divorcees with children who developed an online relationship with MENA men 20 years their junior going over to a MENA country to marry a man they have never spent any time with in person? I'm not talking about anyone in particular here, just threw together most of the stereotypes.

So what exactly do you disagree with? You think overweight divorced older women are not aware of what could possibly happen?

[mybackpages 0]

Don;t let ourselves get tangled in the idea that its only about being duped. Sure it goes on, but more often one or the other is no clear about why they are going in to this marriage. Talk all you want about love. Marriage is not a matter of love alone. Marriage is also about how are parents treated, how money is spent, lifestyles, etc.

Bi-national relationships work. But many do not. There is a reason that they don't and often it begins with mistakes made by the people going into the them in the first place. Why people can't admit this and talk about it with feeling like its an attack on their relationship?

[Jenn! 918]

I still do not think that the men /women are naive. They know what is going on or what could happen. How can one be sure of anything???

I would have to disagree with that. How else is it that we see overweight divorcees with children who developed an online relationship with MENA men 20 years their junior going over to a MENA country to marry a man they have never spent any time with in person? I'm not talking about anyone in particular here, just threw together most of the stereotypes.

So what exactly do you disagree with? You think overweight divorced older women are not aware of what could possibly happen?

The way I see it, it's not a possibility, it's a probability. And no, I don't think they've accepted it.