Feeling useless waiting for EAD

[Shaj33 5]

Hey

I came here in September and we filed AOS in October, I recently had my Biometrics appointment so now we're onto the true waiting game for everything to be processed.

I just like I'm going a bit crazy being stuck without anything to do on a daily basis, the holidays are coming up, my savings are running thin from trying to contribute as much as possible to rent/bills/expenses etc. and stress seems to be really taking its toll.

Don't get me wrong, I am SO grateful to be here and to be able to finally be with my love and to call him my husband, but he works 5 days a week on varying shifts, and i'm starting to struggle to find motivation to get up in the morning, there's only so much housework you can do to busy yourself before it all starts to feel a little pointless. :/

I don't really have any friends here as i don't know that many people and with a history of anxiety and depression its all starting to get on top of me a bit how much i miss my friends and family back in the UK. - My husband is being very understanding and supporting with the whole situation but obviously its difficult for him to be able to put himself in my shoes.

Eurghhh, I realise I'm moaning, that i haven't even been here that long and that people have it farer worse off than me, but anybody else feeling a little useless and struggling to motivate themselves?

I undestand you 100% ,I also filed in October and did Bimoetrics on Nov 21st, Got an RFE and mailed it back , still yet no answer. i think is the Holidays that is why everything is moving so slow. Be Strong ,xoxo from Orlando FL,

[p-ana 933]

Take this time to prepare yourself for what's to come.

Are there buses around you? Learn the times and routes and catch them to do fun things, get groceries, find jobs, etc.

Do you want to get a drivers license? Research the requirements, docs, which DMV branch you have to go for a test, etc

Are you all set with bank accounts, cards, insurance, etc? If not, what do you need to do? Research that.

What kind of jobs you intend to go for? Which companies are you interested in? Are they hiring? Is your resume ready in the American way?

What is it that you like to do on your own? Do you have hobbies?

There's always so much to do, don't allow yourself to be in a rut, go out there and make your life to be what you want.

Good luck and cheer up

[Dutchster 1,107]

Thanks for the support guys, I'm really not meaning to sound ungrateful, I realise it was my decision to agree to go down this route, and like Sundaysue I would do it all over again because finally getting to fall asleep next to my husband every night is worth all of the waiting, paperwork, expense and hassle.

I play a lot of video games, but again it gets to the point when you find yourself repeating the same routine over and over you start to lose motivation. Think i probably need to get a bit more active and get out of the house. - I'll be sure to check out some of your suggestions for ideas of things to do, thanks

I agree what you said. It gets to the point where you find yourself repeating day in day out. Even if I had my EAD and couldn't find a job, I'd feel the same.

Off topic to this message: I'm sorry to see that there are people here -in other threats like these- rudely telling people to 'get over it because you chose for it' or 'Well, you should have chosen CR1 if you feel that way." That's a shame because we're all different and we all choose what we think is the best for us. Of course the CR1 visa has great options when it comes to when you enter the United States like immediately having your greencard (Or wait for it to come in the mail eventually), the authorization to work or leave the country etc etc but like I said, I couldn't handle being married to him and spending the first year of our marriage together (and this is not a bash or attack to those who did! Whatever floats your boat) so that's why we chose for K1 -> AOS. It's a little difficult at times because after all, we're all in a different country, trying to adjust, trying to get through a culture shock or feeling alone but I'm more than happy to be with him and yeah it does suck not to work, but that's -like I said before- something we all knew when we started this. Just sometimes, it hits you and a forum/community like this is great to talk to each other about it because you know you're not the only one having a slump that day or that week. That's perfectly okay and you don't sound ungrateful! Being in a foreign country with your friends and family being back home - no matter if you're K-1 or CR/IR1, that can hit you. I'd wish more members showed some compassion in that. This forum is great and we should pursue being able to talk to each other about things we faces instead of getting bashed down for choosing the way we chose.

Edited December 4, 2016 by Sundaysue

[zilchfox 296]

Same boat. In fact, whatever savings I had have already run dry and I'm now fully dependent on my spouse financially and I feel like ####### because of it, ugh...and then sometimes my spouse gets anxiety issues of running out of money potentially and I told him that he should have let me stay home for at least another month or so, so I can still work and save up that much more money x_x; Oh well, it's done and over with now and we'll just have to push forward together!

I feel like I got lucky that I was able to obtain a GA drivers license 60 days before my I-94 expires, so I can at least drive until Jan 11th, so sometimes while he's at work I'll run errands for him on his behalf like buying something at the store, and other times I just need to get out of the house because I can't stand being home all day 24/7, so I'll meet up with some friends or something! If I'm feeling it, I'll also drive out to his work to meet up with him for lunch time and eat lunch with him, too. Once I get my EAD I'll at least be able to extend my drivers license to the end of the expiration of the EAD, so that'll be nice. I'm not looking forward to January 12th where I literally cannot do anything until something happens with the I-485.

[Suss&Camm 2,213]

I agree what you said. It gets to the point where you find yourself repeating day in day out. Even if I had my EAD and couldn't find a job, I'd feel the same.

Off topic to this message: I'm sorry to see that there are people here -in other threats like these- rudely telling people to 'get over it because you chose for it' or 'Well, you should have chosen CR1 if you feel that way." That's a shame because we're all different and we all choose what we think is the best for us. Of course the CR1 visa has great options when it comes to when you enter the United States like immediately having your greencard (Or wait for it to come in the mail eventually), the authorization to work or leave the country etc etc but like I said, I couldn't handle being married to him and spending the first year of our marriage together (and this is not a bash or attack to those who did! Whatever floats your boat) so that's why we chose for K1 -> AOS. It's a little difficult at times because after all, we're all in a different country, trying to adjust, trying to get through a culture shock or feeling alone but I'm more than happy to be with him and yeah it does suck not to work, but that's -like I said before- something we all knew when we started this. Just sometimes, it hits you and a forum/community like this is great to talk to each other about it because you know you're not the only one having a slump that day or that week. That's perfectly okay and you don't sound ungrateful! Being in a foreign country with your friends and family being back home - no matter if you're K-1 or CR/IR1, that can hit you. I'd wish more members showed some compassion in that. This forum is great and we should pursue being able to talk to each other about things we faces instead of getting bashed down for choosing the way we chose.

THIS!

I also have an extra understanding when it comes to a history (even if passed) of anxiety and depression being added to the equation.. If you have not travelled down that road it is hard to understand... the words "cheer up" are meant to help but sometimes one just needs to vent

I hope OP finds ways to spend her time... I'm at the point where I'm looking into all the things there are to do around here to avoid getting sucked under, and every day I'm trying to chant "enjoy your extended vacation, it won't come again!"

[Cimone0409 2]

I feel some of the commenters are being unsupportive and mean. Without knowing any background information about you, I can tell you this hasn't been easy for me either. I'm home all day and as much as my husband loves me, I'm a needy person and sometimes it's hard with him at work. We also only have 1 vehicle so during his 10hr shifts I'm not able to go out and make friends or explore. It's so worth it, this progress, but I understand entirely how you are feeling.

[ZoeUK1989 35]

I also get worried about not being able to do certain things... Also going through the K1 visa as we wanted to be living together when we got married.

I am not yet in the US and just waiting for my visa to arrive in the mail. My fiance has tried to prepare things as best as she can knowing that I hate not working, driving is my absolute passion and public transport is not usually something i would do here in the UK let alone a country I do not know so well. I also do not read books as I do not find them interesting and i struggle to watch TV for more than 5 minutes alone. I cannot sit still for 5 minutes, I just get itchy feet (not literally people)

My fiance knows that i play the PlayStation when i get bored or have time to kill so she has purchased one ready for me when I'm there. She has also said that she is going to go on the public transport with me to get used to it so I can do it on my own, She has also invested in an apartment and has said that I can move things around and design some things for the space we will have. It sounds daft but I am definitely a more hands on person rather than reading or watching... I just find that frustrating.

As for your savings running thin, I feel your pain from this end now let alone when in the US and restricted. It must be so much harder if you suffer with anxiety too. Do you like animals like dogs? maybe you could ask some neighbours that are around if they would like you to walk their fur baby. It gets you out of the house and if there is any dog parks near by its a great way to talk to people

Personal opinion warning so please don't take offence! I wouldn't use the term suck it up personally as i feel that sounds very insensitive to a Brit (I think Brits only use that term when we feel someone is being a little bit pathetic) but I think this is not meant in a horrible way.

I just think people deal with thing differently and you are struggling with your situation at the moment. But it will change and get better. I totally agree with the volunteer work as that will probably help you in the future with not only your employment but your anxiety.

[Matt&Sophie 8]

Hi guys,

Once again, thanks for the support - I really do appreciate it. Some days are better than others, but I've recently filled ut all the paperwork to volunteer at the local animal rescue league (I had to leave my cat back in the UK with my parents so I'm requesting to work with the kitties to fill the cat shaped void in my life right now) So thank you to Catvela for the suggestion. I've been taking our dogs for more walks too, just to get out of the house

I've also started looking at edX online courses as a way to fill my time and also be making use of my brain. I'm wanting to return to university in the future to pursue a career in psychology, so figured that this will get my head back around the subject before looking into that.

Some days are better than others, I'll have a really positive and productive day, then I'll have a day when it seems to take superhuman effort to just be able to get out of bed. - I've been talking to my partner a lot more about how I'm feeling too and he's been great, we go out a lot more, even if its just to drive around for a while (and play Pokemon Go, haha) to get me out of the house.

ZoeUK1989 - My in-laws have got us a PS4 for Christmas so I'm pretty darn excited to get going with that in the new year haha

[Catuela 16]

Hi guys,

Once again, thanks for the support - I really do appreciate it. Some days are better than others, but I've recently filled ut all the paperwork to volunteer at the local animal rescue league (I had to leave my cat back in the UK with my parents so I'm requesting to work with the kitties to fill the cat shaped void in my life right now) So thank you to Catvela for the suggestion. I've been taking our dogs for more walks too, just to get out of the house

I've also started looking at edX online courses as a way to fill my time and also be making use of my brain. I'm wanting to return to university in the future to pursue a career in psychology, so figured that this will get my head back around the subject before looking into that.

Some days are better than others, I'll have a really positive and productive day, then I'll have a day when it seems to take superhuman effort to just be able to get out of bed. - I've been talking to my partner a lot more about how I'm feeling too and he's been great, we go out a lot more, even if its just to drive around for a while (and play Pokemon Go, haha) to get me out of the house.

ZoeUK1989 - My in-laws have got us a PS4 for Christmas so I'm pretty darn excited to get going with that in the new year haha

no problem I know that in RI there are tons of rescues that would value your help