Losing motivation

[JessDak 27]

This is not so much of a question, rather just me venting on my situation.

Its been almost exactly 4 months since I sent in my AOS packet (6 months since POE), and close to two months since doing biometrics and nothing is processed yet. I swear I'm losing my mind without a job or something meaningful to occupy my time.

Called USCIS around the 3 month mark and they told me that processing will take an additional 30 days because I did biotmetics late (even though I've seen people get accepted as quickly as the day after biometrics). I gave it the additional 30 days and called back today (as none of my cases show up as valid in the case status online this is my only way to check on it). I was told that my biometrics was received but somehow still processing and that she would submit a request and I should hear back in 2 weeks. Yay right? Nope. She said that I will receive notice of an estimate in 2 weeks. So it's still fully possible that I get a notice that says 'give it an additional 30 days'.

I know other people have had worse horror stories, but I feel like they're dropping the ball with my case. I'm an independent person, not a kept woman. To have to keep asking my wife for grocery money, or some cash to buy new shoes because my winter boots are worn out is driving me crazy. I tried spacing out my savings so that I could contribute for as long as possible but its been months of leaving my wife with the burden of rent, groceries, utilities (I helped before because it was a small bill but my personal funds are now basically zero so they're on her from now on). I wont even be able to buy her a Christmas gift with my own money this year and It's making me feel so useless.

It's also hurting with evidence. We intended to add me to her insurance but the deadline just passed and we in the end made the decision it's not worth the additional bill (her insurance is insanely expensive). So that's one big chunk of evidence we'll be missing if we get the AOS interview soon. UGH!

Sorry to rant...I don't have many people to talk to about this. I try not to stress my wife out because shes miserable as it is with her crappy job (which I promised her that she could take a break from once I get my EAD...oops ) that she can't leave because she's supporting two people now, as well as family issues.

Maybe it's just because I'm stir-crazy but it feels like USCIS is just trying to destroy new relationships with all this, honestly, it's so hard to enjoy the newlywed phase when everything starts with the question 'can we afford it'. Every time we argue about money the light at the end of the tunnel is that i'll get my EAD and our finances should double....but that light seems to just keep getting further away....*sigh*

[Georgia16 2,858]

Seems like something in the background maybe?

What document was tried to be delivered on Oct. 13th that was returned to them? ...

[JessDak 27]

I called about it and was told by teir two that it was likely my biometrics, or NOA1 (both of which I had received long before Oct 13). Then a few weeks later I received a notice saying basically that I called to see which notice was returned, currently there are no outstanding RFE's or withholding on my case. So the notice that was 'returned' on Oct 13th, either never existed, or its lost somewhere and USCIS doesn't even know what it was.

[Tusabe 14]

I know the pain brotha. I started volunteering to help pass the time thankfully wife has a good job and we are well off plus I sold my house before coming here so money still in the bank ????

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

You can submit a service request on the EAD and AP which can get your working. They will take action past 90 days. I hope the document that was returned was not your EAD but I have a feeling it was. Wait a couple of says then call back, ask for a Tier 2 person, and demand (nicely) a service request on the EAD and AP.

[Rmmm12345 15]

This is not so much of a question, rather just me venting on my situation.

Its been almost exactly 4 months since I sent in my AOS packet (6 months since POE), and close to two months since doing biometrics and nothing is processed yet. I swear I'm losing my mind without a job or something meaningful to occupy my time.

Called USCIS around the 3 month mark and they told me that processing will take an additional 30 days because I did biotmetics late (even though I've seen people get accepted as quickly as the day after biometrics). I gave it the additional 30 days and called back today (as none of my cases show up as valid in the case status online this is my only way to check on it). I was told that my biometrics was received but somehow still processing and that she would submit a request and I should hear back in 2 weeks. Yay right? Nope. She said that I will receive notice of an estimate in 2 weeks. So it's still fully possible that I get a notice that says 'give it an additional 30 days'.

I know other people have had worse horror stories, but I feel like they're dropping the ball with my case. I'm an independent person, not a kept woman. To have to keep asking my wife for grocery money, or some cash to buy new shoes because my winter boots are worn out is driving me crazy. I tried spacing out my savings so that I could contribute for as long as possible but its been months of leaving my wife with the burden of rent, groceries, utilities (I helped before because it was a small bill but my personal funds are now basically zero so they're on her from now on). I wont even be able to buy her a Christmas gift with my own money this year and It's making me feel so useless.

It's also hurting with evidence. We intended to add me to her insurance but the deadline just passed and we in the end made the decision it's not worth the additional bill (her insurance is insanely expensive). So that's one big chunk of evidence we'll be missing if we get the AOS interview soon. UGH!

Sorry to rant...I don't have many people to talk to about this. I try not to stress my wife out because shes miserable as it is with her crappy job (which I promised her that she could take a break from once I get my EAD...oops ) that she can't leave because she's supporting two people now, as well as family issues.

Maybe it's just because I'm stir-crazy but it feels like USCIS is just trying to destroy new relationships with all this, honestly, it's so hard to enjoy the newlywed phase when everything starts with the question 'can we afford it'. Every time we argue about money the light at the end of the tunnel is that i'll get my EAD and our finances should double....but that light seems to just keep getting further away....*sigh*

Contact your local congressman - I promise you will get something done ASAP if you go through them.

[Jacob&Rachel 6]

I have the same situation. Used to work 50 hours per week. Now not allowed too. Not just that, i feel so alone. I have no friends here and no one to talk too. Anyone feeling the same?

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

My husband is mopping driving me crazy so ill tell you from me the usc side.

Im helping him out now so he can inturn pay it forward and help me...

What happens if one day god forbid im in an accident im a independent professional woman have worked since 15 and all while going to school. I moved on my own at 18 and never looked back at mommys house. But to visit of course lol and eat....

It would be his turn to care for me.

Marriage is a partnership.

My husband now helps ou alot where he can while he waits for his work permission.

Had we married he would come with everything but the money i would spend visiting and away from him...

I look at it as that im sooo happy hes here ??

Edited November 30, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

Yeah my wife was going crazy as well during her AOS period. Luckily for you it's only been 4 months since you filed, my wife's took over 10 months until completion. So just try and get out of the house so you don't go crazy.

[Dutchster 1,107]

So sorry you feel this way! I had to give up my long-time amazing job to be with my husband and not being able to pursue what I love to do and just sitting at home kills me. Like I said to him earlier this week, I really feel like immigration took away my freedom. Can't have a drivers license until my EAD comes in (note, we live in the middle of nowhere, literally. Cars are needed for the smallest thing), even if I had my DL, I'd feel less desperate lol. I can't just wash - clean - cook - day in day out but hey, we knew this from the start when we filed for the I-129F petition so have to bite the bullet for a little while and everything will be working out in the end. Try to stay positive and keep your head up, girl!

Edited November 30, 2016 by Sundaysue

[Everlast 49]

This is not so much of a question, rather just me venting on my situation.

Its been almost exactly 4 months since I sent in my AOS packet (6 months since POE), and close to two months since doing biometrics and nothing is processed yet. I swear I'm losing my mind without a job or something meaningful to occupy my time.

Called USCIS around the 3 month mark and they told me that processing will take an additional 30 days because I did biotmetics late (even though I've seen people get accepted as quickly as the day after biometrics). I gave it the additional 30 days and called back today (as none of my cases show up as valid in the case status online this is my only way to check on it). I was told that my biometrics was received but somehow still processing and that she would submit a request and I should hear back in 2 weeks. Yay right? Nope. She said that I will receive notice of an estimate in 2 weeks. So it's still fully possible that I get a notice that says 'give it an additional 30 days'.

I know other people have had worse horror stories, but I feel like they're dropping the ball with my case. I'm an independent person, not a kept woman. To have to keep asking my wife for grocery money, or some cash to buy new shoes because my winter boots are worn out is driving me crazy. I tried spacing out my savings so that I could contribute for as long as possible but its been months of leaving my wife with the burden of rent, groceries, utilities (I helped before because it was a small bill but my personal funds are now basically zero so they're on her from now on). I wont even be able to buy her a Christmas gift with my own money this year and It's making me feel so useless.

It's also hurting with evidence. We intended to add me to her insurance but the deadline just passed and we in the end made the decision it's not worth the additional bill (her insurance is insanely expensive). So that's one big chunk of evidence we'll be missing if we get the AOS interview soon. UGH!

Sorry to rant...I don't have many people to talk to about this. I try not to stress my wife out because shes miserable as it is with her crappy job (which I promised her that she could take a break from once I get my EAD...oops ) that she can't leave because she's supporting two people now, as well as family issues.

Maybe it's just because I'm stir-crazy but it feels like USCIS is just trying to destroy new relationships with all this, honestly, it's so hard to enjoy the newlywed phase when everything starts with the question 'can we afford it'. Every time we argue about money the light at the end of the tunnel is that i'll get my EAD and our finances should double....but that light seems to just keep getting further away....*sigh*

A little more patience is all! It's coming.

Wish you well on your AOS Journey!!!

[TabeaK 517]

So sorry you feel this way! I had to give up my long-time amazing job to be with my husband and not being able to pursue what I love to do and just sitting at home kills me. Like I said to him earlier this week, I really feel like immigration took away my freedom. Can't have a drivers license until my EAD comes in (note, we live in the middle of nowhere, literally. Cars are needed for the smallest thing), even if I had my DL, I'd feel less desperate lol. I can't just wash - clean - cook - day in day out but hey, we knew this from the start when we filed for the I-129F petition so have to bite the bullet for a little while and everything will be working out in the end. Try to stay positive and keep your head up, girl!

Yep, same here. My process was reasonably quick, but this time of limbo, unemployed, no status, no income, not being able to use my skills seriously drove me batty and put at strain on our relationship. Thankfully, my husband has been amazing, but he is the first to admit that he as the USC cannot really begin to understand what the immigrant is going through. Things got better, but despite knowing rationally what I signed up for with the K1 journey, the reality was much, much harsher...so much so, that in hindsight I would not do a K1 again.

On top of that, you are going through a massive culture shock adjustment...I have moved internationally before, it takes 1-2 years at least to adjust and even to begin feeling at home somewhat...it sucks, but it makes you stronger in the end.

[AlinaB 43]

I have the same situation. Used to work 50 hours per week. Now not allowed too. Not just that, i feel so alone. I have no friends here and no one to talk too. Anyone feeling the same?

My husband is Indonesian and has the exact same thoughts. Feel free to PM me if you would like. I have encouraged him to join soccer teams and volunteer in his spare time. He just got his EAD and I hope he can meet some work friends once he finds a job. But his first few months here have been rough for sure.

[AlinaB 43]

This is not so much of a question, rather just me venting on my situation.

Its been almost exactly 4 months since I sent in my AOS packet (6 months since POE), and close to two months since doing biometrics and nothing is processed yet. I swear I'm losing my mind without a job or something meaningful to occupy my time.

Called USCIS around the 3 month mark and they told me that processing will take an additional 30 days because I did biotmetics late (even though I've seen people get accepted as quickly as the day after biometrics). I gave it the additional 30 days and called back today (as none of my cases show up as valid in the case status online this is my only way to check on it). I was told that my biometrics was received but somehow still processing and that she would submit a request and I should hear back in 2 weeks. Yay right? Nope. She said that I will receive notice of an estimate in 2 weeks. So it's still fully possible that I get a notice that says 'give it an additional 30 days'.

I know other people have had worse horror stories, but I feel like they're dropping the ball with my case. I'm an independent person, not a kept woman. To have to keep asking my wife for grocery money, or some cash to buy new shoes because my winter boots are worn out is driving me crazy. I tried spacing out my savings so that I could contribute for as long as possible but its been months of leaving my wife with the burden of rent, groceries, utilities (I helped before because it was a small bill but my personal funds are now basically zero so they're on her from now on). I wont even be able to buy her a Christmas gift with my own money this year and It's making me feel so useless.

It's also hurting with evidence. We intended to add me to her insurance but the deadline just passed and we in the end made the decision it's not worth the additional bill (her insurance is insanely expensive). So that's one big chunk of evidence we'll be missing if we get the AOS interview soon. UGH!

Sorry to rant...I don't have many people to talk to about this. I try not to stress my wife out because shes miserable as it is with her crappy job (which I promised her that she could take a break from once I get my EAD...oops ) that she can't leave because she's supporting two people now, as well as family issues.

Maybe it's just because I'm stir-crazy but it feels like USCIS is just trying to destroy new relationships with all this, honestly, it's so hard to enjoy the newlywed phase when everything starts with the question 'can we afford it'. Every time we argue about money the light at the end of the tunnel is that i'll get my EAD and our finances should double....but that light seems to just keep getting further away....*sigh*

I believe you have already gotten sound advice, but I just want to encourage you to stay strong. Marriage takes effort in the best of circumstances. I know this is a lot of extra stress on you both, but keep talking. Find ways to communicate that are healthy and make you stronger instead of weaker. If marriage counseling is covered by your wife, maybe you could go and talk to someone together once or twice a month. I'm going to shoot you a PM shortly.

[Ninahi 53]

Yep, here's another one who's going off her rocker because of this process dragging on and on.

While I do have my EAD and AP, I haven't actually found work. Turns out an overseas degree is worth neither a nickle nor a dime! So I'm stuck twiddling my thumbs and endless vacuum-mop-laundry-dishes-dinner cycle for the 16th month. SIXTEEN GODDAMN MONTHS. I'd be absolutely livid if I weren't too depressed to actually feel emotions anymore. So hang in there, you are not the only one stuck in a sanity-testing limbo.

Immigration isn't easy, especially when you're building your life from scratch. Making new friends and finding reasons (other than your partner) to get out of bed each day isn't a cakewalk either. This USCIS ####### is just an added layer of stink on it all.

We're lucky that our partners can support us. Yet I absolutely understand the need to regain independence and contributing to the household (as well as having your own guilt-free spending money.)