Older US woman/ younger Algerian man

[kristinemg 0]

My mother, from the United States, is 70 years old and is having a relationship with a 29-yr-old man from Algeria. She went there two years ago and they had a civil marriage. He has been denied access to the US. She is now saying that is she cannot get him here, then she is packing up and moving there.
They have no real relationship. Its a Facebook relationship! She traveled there for 1 1/2 months this past summer. That's a vacation, not a marriage!
Everything the immigration office says about their marriage, I agree with. Seems highly fraudulent.
Are there any laws that can keep my mother from moving there/living there?

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

Your mother is an adult. She can live wherever she wishes.

[Michael and Ganna 104]

Call Dr. Phil

[wheresmykoala 52]

I'm not sure how easy it is to pack up and move to Algeria, but there isn't any legal way to force her to stay in the U.S. if she doesn't want to.

I think it's worth noting that if he only wanted to be with your mother to get into America, he probably would've cut ties with her when the denial happened, yet she lived over there, presumably with him, for nearly a few months this summer.

[Inikamoze 86]

There isn't anything you can do legally to stop your mother from moving. Although I understand your concerns and perfectly valid ones.

You could try sitting down and understanding her perspective on the relationship. Voice your concerns in a calm considered manner and relay the pitfalls of moving to a foreign country with many rituals and way of life that will be alien to her. It's daunting at any stage of life but to do it alone and being 70... that's brave!

[Las&kay 8]

That is to show you that LOVE is inevitable. At this time you can't conclude there relationship is not real. I believe the two of them are in love. The young man would have given up if he had the intent to move to the US only and upon denial of his visa but now your mother is going to join him in Algeria and he is very happy, waiting to receive his love. Common, it's high time everyone understand the fact that age doesn't count when it comes to real love. Don't scare your mother with those ritual stuffs etc as advised. It may not convince her and may not help. She may see it that you dont want her happiness. Just talk to her as a smart daughter would advice her mother, that's all. Take her with you if you are not living together, and care for her.

[Villanelle 4,122]

This may be controversial but I am going to say it anyway-

You can go to court and request to either become your mothers guardian or have someone else appointed her guardian.

You have to go to court to have the person declared incompetent based on expert findings. Does being in love with a 29yr old and wanting to move across the world mean she is incompetent? I dunno. Is she making responsible choices? Is a 1 month in person meeting enough to say she is love or is her thought process clouded? Does she have other things in her life where she is showing clouded judgement and not being able to care for herself or is this just the child disagreeing with the parents choices of a mate? Again I dont know. A court would evaluate it.

The court transfers the responsibility for managing finances, living arrangements, and medical decisions to the guardian.

This procedure can take some time. If family members disagree about the need for guardianship or who should act as a guardian, it will be a painful, prolonged, and costly process that will leave everyone involved feeling angry, guilty, or both.

[JFH 12,190]

How would you feel if your mother was posting on forums dating that your relationship or marriage wasn't genuine and she wanted to stop you seeing your partner? She's an adult. In the grand scheme of things, marrying a 29-year-old from another country is one of the least worrying things that people do. Love means different things to different people. If they are happy, live and let live. They are not harming anyone.

[millefleur 5,046]

This sounds like a personal issue between you and your mom. Also, this forum is about foreigners coming to the US, not so much about US citizens going to live abroad. While the age difference in this case does seem a little extreme, we are one of those older lady/younger man couples as well although with a much smaller age difference. It happens...we can't control our parents' lives. If she seriously wants to move to Algeria, then you honestly can't stop her. If she already spent more than a month in Algeria, then it seems like she at least knows the country somewhat.

He was completely banned from the US? Did she apply for a spousal visa for him? Or did he just try for a tourist visa?

Edited November 28, 2016 by millefleur

[gregcrs2 1,778]

This may be controversial but I am going to say it anyway-

You can go to court and request to either become your mothers guardian or have someone else appointed her guardian.

You have to go to court to have the person declared incompetent based on expert findings. Does being in love with a 29yr old and wanting to move across the world mean she is incompetent? I dunno. Is she making responsible choices? Is a 1 month in person meeting enough to say she is love or is her thought process clouded? Does she have other things in her life where she is showing clouded judgement and not being able to care for herself or is this just the child disagreeing with the parents choices of a mate? Again I dont know. A court would evaluate it.

The court transfers the responsibility for managing finances, living arrangements, and medical decisions to the guardian.

This procedure can take some time. If family members disagree about the need for guardianship or who should act as a guardian, it will be a painful, prolonged, and costly process that will leave everyone involved feeling angry, guilty, or both.

I have to agree here. There is age difference and then there is a ridiculous age difference. She is old enough to be his GRANDMOTHER. Something is not right in this scenario. I would recommend consulting with an attorney.

[hateadminforms 19]

My mother, from the United States, is 70 years old and is having a relationship with a 29-yr-old man from Algeria. She went there two years ago and they had a civil marriage. He has been denied access to the US. She is now saying that is she cannot get him here, then she is packing up and moving there.

They have no real relationship. Its a Facebook relationship! She traveled there for 1 1/2 months this past summer. That's a vacation, not a marriage!

Everything the immigration office says about their marriage, I agree with. Seems highly fraudulent.

Are there any laws that can keep my mother from moving there/living there?

1) My mother, from the United States, is 70 years old and is having a relationship with a 29-yr-old man from Algeria. --- His family will see her only as a passing GILF or similar fad so if she moves she will need to find her own way back.

2) She went there two years ago and they had a civil marriage. - So in reality they are already married so he is now No 1 recipient in her will - have you checked what is happening with her pension and everything else?

3) He has been denied access to the US. She is now saying that is she cannot get him here, then she is packing up and moving there. - Let her, tell her to do a local language course and wear a veil ( his friends will not want to see a 70 yr old wife for a 29 yr old and all sorts of issues could arise)

4) Are there any laws that can keep my mother from moving there/living there? - NONE

IN REALITY ,,,, ignoring all the above, time to reverse pyscho her as if you were the parent, celebrate her move, buy her a few books about living in Algeria, leave around a few pamphlets on social security as an expat, tell her your own kids will miss her but we can still Skype and even volunteer to sell her stuff and drive her to the airport.

Then sit back, more calm and less stress for you, she caused this and has to sort out a lot of issues relating to point 2) once her red love goggles dim a bit.

Edited November 28, 2016 by hateadminforms

[soulstriker 274]

huge red flag

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Maybe he will send her back and you dont need to worry.

You can always do what damara said...

But let your momma enjoy herself you only live once¡!

Edited November 28, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[Boiler 45,558]

Age is just a number, who are we to judge.

[Russ&Caro 1,549]

Have you thought about traveling to Algeria with your mother and meeting the guy? That could go a long way to arriving at peace of mind.