Planning Wedding

[Amy_and_Victor 159]

If you want such an elaborate "dream" wedding that 90 days isn't enough to plan it, I've read 2 very good advises here. Either get married in the courthouse and then have an elaborate ceremony for family and friends whenever you're ready, either get married first and then apply for a spousal visa, not for K-1.

- Victor from Russia

[JE57 239]

A couple things to consider... Assume you would prefer the wedding to be the wedding and not have to do a legal thing before the real thing for immigration purposes. In that case I'd suggest your options are:

1) Apply for a K-1 visa.. Plan the wedding about a year after the application... Generally the K-1 takes about 5 months.. A year gives you a buffer... Once the K-1 is approved it is valid for 6 months from the date of the medical and then you get an additional 3 months in the USA to accomplish the wedding so timing wise you should be fine. Another consideration is that if it happens early then you don't actually HAVE to get married in 90 days.. While after 90 days you would be out of status you can still adjust status if you get married and then the overstay is forgiven. The potentially HUGE disadvantage of the K-1 is that once you enter you must wait an additional amount of time (3-4 months after filing your AOS) to leave the USA or to work in the USA. For this reason you may wish to consider a CR1 visa. If for some reason you don't get the K1 in time for the wedding you may still go get married but will need to return to Canada and start a CR1 (about a year)

2) To do the CR1 visa you would have to get married first.. If you wanted that marriage to be the REAL thing.. the dream wedding as it were your best option may well be to use your Canadian privilege to take short trips to your desired wedding location, do all the planning and then go ahead and get Married in the USA. Once you are married in the USA you WILL have to return to Canada and file the CR1 but assuming you and your husband maintain residence in Canada until you get the Visa all should be well.

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A couple things to protect yourself.... 1) NEVER EVER LIE or intend to deceive immigration officials. 2) Do not enter the USA on tourist visa with the intent to remain and adjust status. 3) Maintain and bring strong ties (reasons why you must return to Canada each time you cross the boarder) 4) Bear in mind that your privilege to enter the USA is subject to review each time you use it, thus the reason you should bring proof of intent to return to Canada until you have immigration visa (K-1 or CR1) in hand.

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Again, the key to planning your dream wedding in this case is your presumed proximity to the wedding venue and your flexibility in terms of when you intend to actually move to the USA.

[JFH 12,191]

We had a very small wedding and then did the CR-1.

A big wedding makes you no more married than someone who has a small wedding. Married is married. USCIS wanted a legal marriage from us for me to be able to live with the man I have chosen to spend the rest of my life with and that's all they got from us - the bare minimum legal wedding. Us, officiant, 2 witness (as required by the state where we married, otherwise we wouldn't have bothered), stainless steel wedding rings for $25.00 each, no photographer, no flowers, no cakes, no parties. This was 2 years ago. We are having the pagan ceremony that we want after my visa is approved next month and I move to live with him permanently. USCIS has nothing to do with that and it will be done on our terms and at our pace.

When 2 people from 2 different countries meet and want to be together, there will always be compromises. Dreams have to be altered and plans changed. If you always dreamed of a big fancy wedding you may have to accept that it might not happen when and where you want it to. How you get there doesn't matter. What matters is the destination - living together with your husband.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

A couple things to consider... Assume you would prefer the wedding to be the wedding and not have to do a legal thing before the real thing for immigration purposes. In that case I'd suggest your options are:

1) Apply for a K-1 visa.. Plan the wedding about a year after the application... Generally the K-1 takes about 5 months.. A year gives you a buffer... Once the K-1 is approved it is valid for 6 months from the date of the medical and then you get an additional 3 months in the USA to accomplish the wedding so timing wise you should be fine. Another consideration is that if it happens early then you don't actually HAVE to get married in 90 days.. While after 90 days you would be out of status you can still adjust status if you get married and then the overstay is forgiven. The potentially HUGE disadvantage of the K-1 is that once you enter you must wait an additional amount of time (3-4 months after filing your AOS) to leave the USA or to work in the USA. For this reason you may wish to consider a CR1 visa. If for some reason you don't get the K1 in time for the wedding you may still go get married but will need to return to Canada and start a CR1 (about a year)

2) To do the CR1 visa you would have to get married first.. If you wanted that marriage to be the REAL thing.. the dream wedding as it were your best option may well be to use your Canadian privilege to take short trips to your desired wedding location, do all the planning and then go ahead and get Married in the USA. Once you are married in the USA you WILL have to return to Canada and file the CR1 but assuming you and your husband maintain residence in Canada until you get the Visa all should be well.

-

A couple things to protect yourself.... 1) NEVER EVER LIE or intend to deceive immigration officials. 2) Do not enter the USA on tourist visa with the intent to remain and adjust status. 3) Maintain and bring strong ties (reasons why you must return to Canada each time you cross the boarder) 4) Bear in mind that your privilege to enter the USA is subject to review each time you use it, thus the reason you should bring proof of intent to return to Canada until you have immigration visa (K-1 or CR1) in hand.

-

Again, the key to planning your dream wedding in this case is your presumed proximity to the wedding venue and your flexibility in terms of when you intend to actually move to the USA.

Maybe I'm reading your #1 wrong. Are you saying once she arrives in the USA on her K1 they do not HAVE to get married in 90 days? If so, that is very very incorrect.

[AstroCanada 206]

I also want to highlight that K-1 approval times have varied wildly in recent years. When we started thinking about marriage and immigration to the states, the USCIS waiting times were just as long as the CR1 visas (5 months). I'll second the suggestion to have a quickie wedding now and then save the fancy ceremony for when you're both in the states.

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

Some people don't understand that many people dream about their weddings from childhood on. No need to criticize the OP and remind her that a big wedding doesn't make you more married. I am sure she understands this.

We started planning our wedding as soon as we filed our K-1. I will be honest and say it was much more about what my family (read: mother and grandmother with cancer who wanted to see at least one of her grandkids get married) wanted and not really a big deal for me, but family means a lot to me and I did want to do something that everyone could share with us. Ended up with a 250+ guest wedding that I was really happy with. To get an idea of our timeline, we filed for our K-1 in Sept 2015, recieved it in February 2015 (4 months), he entered the country in June (4 more months) and then we married in August ( 2 months). So a total of 10 months. Definitely stressful to plan a large wedding in that time period while a full time college student 3 hours away from the hometown where it would be taking place, but we did it!

I will say off the bat that my experience will be different than yours for the reason that I am the USC and not the foreign fiance, so I was able to be there for all of it. That being said, I think the only things that is REALLY matters whether you are there or not is cake tasting and dress trying. I made sure to skype my fiancé for every meeting we went to, and he was very involved with the entire process. When it came to venue, we explained our situation to the manager who was extremely understanding about our hesitation to put money down for our date. We were able to make an agreement where they would hold the venue tentatively for free and if anyone else was interested in that date, they would call us and then we would have to decide if we would take the risk and put the money down. Thankfully that never happened and the second I got word from my fiancé that his visa had been delivered I called my mother and she rushed over to the venue with checkbook in hand.

My point I guess is that it's definitely possible if you are organized and pragmatic with your approach. I absolutely adored my wedding day and I am glad we did it the way we did. I wish you the best of luck and if you ever want to pm for more specific advice on other things we did to make the process LDR-inclusive to please do so!

Edited November 25, 2016 by MorganandMichael

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Some people don't understand that many people dream about their weddings from childhood on. No need to criticize the OP and remind her that a big wedding doesn't make you more married. I am sure she understands this.

No one is criticiing the OP. We are simply giving our thoughts and opinions. That is what we do here. Give our advise. OP can take it or leave it.

It's really becoming quite annoying when OPs make a post, VJers respond with their thoughts, then get accused of being mean, rude, judgementai, or criticizing. Just because ones viewpoint differs from yours does not mean its any of those things.

We are giving her different perspectives she may not have thought about! She's completely free to proceed how she wishes.

And btw, we do understand about childhood dreams. I think we all have had one at some point. However, this immigration journey has a tendency to alter dreams to reach the desired end result. My dream was to be married on a beach. Eventually, being with my husband became more of an important dream to fulfill.

Edited November 25, 2016 by LionessDeon

[JE57 239]

Maybe I'm reading your #1 wrong. Are you saying once she arrives in the USA on her K1 they do not HAVE to get married in 90 days? If so, that is very very incorrect

Yep, you're right.. While it seems legally possible to stay longer than 90 days and marry the original partition after 90 days and adjust is seems that the risks of this would far out weigh the potential benefits. Sorry to the OP and the community for not so well thought out suggestion.

[Limey 551]

Ours wasn't exactly a massive "dream" wedding, but it was pretty good. We had a nice room in a nice hotel right by the beach, had meal, open bar, 40 guests and DJ etc.

Once the k1 was approved at USCIS we had a pretty good timeframe - we knew there was still medical, interview, etc. I went to the US (travelling under VWP, as k1 wasn't yet issued) and we visited a hotel my fiancee had previously checked out, and we arranged DJ, officiant, etc. We arranged wedding for a Sunday as the hotel and our wedding suppliers all said they were free that day and unlikely to get booked in the next 2-3 months. All were happy to reschedule if there was a problem with the visa, though we thought it unlikely. We paid deposits.

Medical and interview were fine, and I ended up with time for a trip to visit family in Portugal before travelling to the US. I still arrived some 2 weeks before the wedding (wanted time for fine tuning, get marriage license etc).

Organising an enormous wedding is probably impossible, but you can certainly have more than just a courthouse quickie. Yes there is some risk (eg might fail medical) and you need to find suppliers who understand your situation and are happy to reschedule if need be, and it helps to pick a Sunday or other day that isn't busy. But it can be done.

The hardest thing was making sure guests kept the date free. We gave them as much notice as possible of our intended date. Some even booked flights from UK before we'd confirmed it (ie before I had the visa), which worried me a little, but it all ran well within our time estimates.

Edited November 29, 2016 by Limey

[lkerky 25]

We did it. I visited and looked at venues, tasted food, etc. BUT I didn't book anything until I had the visa in hand. If you marry in the offseason it is easier as most venues will have more openings.

However,I have been married three years and my wedding pictures are in a box in a closet. My wedding dress is in the trunk of my car. Honestly, I wish we would have just taken the cash from my parents and put it towards the rest of immigration.

Ultimately it is up to you- have the dream wedding and possibly wait to be with your fiancé/husband or actually be together.