Im confused about the VJ experience

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Ok so you know me to make an assumption that something is "getting" to me. By your response it seems as if what i am saying is getting to you. To assumed that something being discussed is related to me taking anything personally. I find their tactics to be quite humorous. I did not say she attacked my intelligence notice i said emotional intelligence as there are different type. Why cant you just give your opinion without making psycho analyzations of ppls personality. Im not speaking of any one in particular Im speaking of the experience. A pm to say hey heads up im going to move your thread would also be be nice lol. This is a forum where just about anything can be discussed except the rudeness of senior VJ members. Notice I said VJ members. This is not life lol.If it doesnt apply....

What you never see is a senior VJ member suspending another VJ member for being rude...hmmmm.

oh for Pete's sake....a lot of us have been at this for a long time . it is what it is take it or leave it. many of us have a strong backbone from the process and adopt a no nonsense attitude with advice.

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

Ok so you know me to make an assumption that something is "getting" to me. By your response it seems as if what i am saying is getting to you. To assumed that something being discussed is related to me taking anything personally. I find their tactics to be quite humorous. I did not say she attacked my intelligence notice i said emotional intelligence as there are different type. Why cant you just give your opinion without making psycho analyzations of ppls personality. Im not speaking of any one in particular Im speaking of the experience. A pm to say hey heads up im going to move your thread would also be be nice lol. This is a forum where just about anything can be discussed except the rudeness of senior VJ members. Notice I said VJ members. This is not life lol.If it doesnt apply....

What you never see is a senior VJ member suspending another VJ member for being rude...hmmmm.

You took the time to create this thread so obviously it has gotten to you.

I remember your posts in the AOS September 2016 Filers that led to a mod getting involved. Interesting how we didn't have any issues with "rudeness" in that thread until you came and started accusing members of not treating you right and having a "tone" with you when no one else saw the tone that you had been reading into. It's entirely possible (and even likely) that you are perceiving rudeness that's not even there.

I'm not fully disagreeing that there is a problem with snarkiness, and I have definitely encountered times when certain people would get banned after a incident when others who seemed just as guilty if not more so were not. Whether or not this is some intentional protection being granted to members who have been here longer or just apathy or indifference from mods, that I cannot say.

But on the whole, I would actually say I think there is too much priority placed on attitude and not misinformation when it comes to removing posts and taking administrative actions against members. I personally think giving someone false advice that has the potential to derail or at least significantly alter their immigration journey is eons more dangerous than anyone's hurt feelings. When someone can claim to be a lawyer and post false information with no problem, but then the user who inquires where that poster received his law degree gets a multi-day ban for "harassment", I think there is a flaw there.

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

Oh without a doubt. Im fine. Almost done. I think you miss my point though. Just because you are a "newbie" on VJ it doesnt mean you have nothing to offer. If you understand the definition of condescending, you just did the same thing. You are addressing me as if Im an individual with a low emotional intelligence. I never said I took it personally, Im just making an observation. For I am equipped to handle any keyboard gangster lol. I take an anti-bully stance in any arena. Im guessing ppl expect to come here and find a positive experience but for many that is not the case. Ive been taught the only dumb question is the one that isnt asked. The ppl who need to relax are the ones who get annoyed by someone asking for a number lol. I agree that there are many personalitie including the type that might ask a question rather than doing the research. If you dont approach it like they are the VJ gods offering other information than that which they are familir with (such as a code 3 fingerprint for a minor and rfe for no G325A) they tend to be very dismissive of you. I handled it but o just want to add my experience. Or forget if you tell people to breathe and not worry if you are newbie status. I just notice a pattern that certain members actually semi stalk you. Lol they watch where you post and as soon as possible they do stuff like move your threads such as in above lol.

The problem with this and the reason why people get annoyed with some people on here is because they do not want to do any kind of research at all. They don't want to look through the guides or look at what people asked previously before asking a simple question. This is known here on VJ as the fly by's who just come here to ask a question that can be found in a guide or by a simple search option, but that person does not want to take the time to do that at all.

Then as soon as their case is done then we never hear from them at all. Alot of us on here take the time out of our day to try and help people on this site on our own time. So it gets very annoying when people can not look through a simple guide for the answer to their question, or they want to find a work around the proper ways of doing things.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

I personally dislike people that come one here ask for advice and then get mad when the advice is not what they want to hear...

Then there are the folks that follow certain members just because they dislike them and always poo poo all they say...

There are issues...

BUT for the most part thanks to VJ my husbands here ....All My info and guidance I get from here ...I have made valuable friends and we call each other and or communicate through FB or Whatsapp....

I like this site and when I get reprimanded I just analyze and see what I did wrong. And I ignore the people that bait me to argue just because its more important for me to be on here to help my spouse than to go into it with people that don't have anything to offer me.

Edited November 23, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

Some people are overly sensitive and self-centered to a point where they think people are attacking them or being condescending to them (I don't think OP knows what the word means by the way even though she accused another member of it) when none of that is happening. And these people love to play victim to get attention IMO.

[JenniferNangel 137]

I personally dislike people that come one here ask for advice and then get mad when the advice is not what they want to hear...

Then there are the folks that follow certain members just because they dislike them and always poo poo all they say...

There are issues...

BUT for the most part thanks to VJ my husbands here ....All My info and guidance I get from here ...I have made valuable friends and we call each other and or communicate through FB or Whatsapp....

I like this site and when I get reprimanded I just analyze and see what I did wrong. And I ignore the people that bait me to argue just because its more important for me to be on here to help my spouse than to go into it with people that don't have anything to offer me.

I agree with you I get tired of seeing certain people talking ? And then going on my profile "stalking" me. I wish we were allowed to block someone if we can't get along with them so they can't see anything we say and can't view our profile at all. But instead we can only block what they say (mod can you change that) My husband is here as well and I come on here to help and give advice to people going through the same thing as me. Vj has been extremely helpful even know there are some rotten eggs I have made friends along the way so it has been worth it for me ?

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

I agree with you I get tired of seeing certain people talking ? And then going on my profile "stalking" me. I wish we were allowed to block someone if we can't get along with them so they can't see anything we say and can't view our profile at all. But instead we can only block what they say (mod can you change that) My husband is here as well and I come on here to help and give advice to people going through the same thing as me. Vj has been extremely helpful even know there are some rotten eggs I have made friends along the way so it has been worth it for me ?

I love you too my rubia ?

You are one of my vj friends that i am glad to have met on this forum....

And like i said i have made friends there are days i need advice and there are days they do....

Def value this forumn ☺☺☺

Edited November 23, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[JenniferNangel 137]

I love you too my rubia ?

You are one of my vj friends that i am glad to have met on this forum....

And like i said i have made friends there are days i need advice and there are days they do....

Def value this forumn ☺☺☺

Hey I thought I was Mrs mozart ???? (yea my hubby would love that)

You've been the first person to call me rubia since I left but you have definitely been there for me more than anybody else has and I definitely appreciate that ?????

[Chardon Ne' 71]

You took the time to create this thread so obviously it has gotten to you.

I remember your posts in the AOS September 2016 Filers that led to a mod getting involved. Interesting how we didn't have any issues with "rudeness" in that thread until you came and started accusing members of not treating you right and having a "tone" with you when no one else saw the tone that you had been reading into. It's entirely possible (and even likely) that you are perceiving rudeness that's not even there.

I'm not fully disagreeing that there is a problem with snarkiness, and I have definitely encountered times when certain people would get banned after a incident when others who seemed just as guilty if not more so were not. Whether or not this is some intentional protection being granted to members who have been here longer or just apathy or indifference from mods, that I cannot say.

But on the whole, I would actually say I think there is too much priority placed on attitude and not misinformation when it comes to removing posts and taking administrative actions against members. I personally think giving someone false advice that has the potential to derail or at least significantly alter their immigration journey is eons more dangerous than anyone's hurt feelings. When someone can claim to be a lawyer and post false information with no problem, but then the user who inquires where that poster received his law degree gets a multi-day ban for "harassment", I think there is a flaw there.

Exactly my point. My observations were not only based on my experiences. Ive seen some very rude posts by senior members. You are correct, there is much misinformation but even then there is a way to correct someone without being a total jerk. Communication is about the receiver. If it was directed toward me I am the only one who can determine whether or not there was a tone. (Communications 101) Not anyone else. Go back to that post everyone came to the defense of the poster except the person who stated it.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Exactly my point. My observations were not only based on my experiences. Ive seen some very rude posts by senior members. You are correct, there is much misinformation but even then there is a way to correct someone without being a total jerk. Communication is about the receiver. If it was directed toward me I am the only one who can determine whether or not there was a tone. (Communications 101) Not anyone else. Go back to that post everyone came to the defense of the poster except the person who stated it.

thank you for teaching us all how to visajourney

[Chardon Ne' 71]

Some people are overly sensitive and self-centered to a point where they think people are attacking them or being condescending to them (I don't think OP knows what the word means by the way even though she accused another member of it) when none of that is happening. And these people love to play victim to get attention IMO.

Uh Im not only speaking of my own experiences. In fact what I experienced was mild by comparison. An open discussion about something should not imply sensitivity. For an immigration site I find there are many psychologists here. I could easily argue that you asserting that I am overly sensitive or self centered based on my post is the same as me saying some senior members are bullies based on theirs.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

I think people need to learn that people can only upset you if you let them in.

If forums upset you use the guides and search tools.

I dont think anyone sets out to be mean to anyone. But sometimes telling someone what they thought was right is wrong can upset people....

Also take into account alot of people here are from other countries and take things personal others wouldnt and vise versa.

Edited November 23, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[Chardon Ne' 71]

thank you for teaching us all how to visajourney

Not about VJ its about humanity...

[Transborderwife 4,666]

I think people need to learn that people can only upset you if you let them in.

If forums upset you use the guides and search tools.

I dont think anyone sets out to be mean to anyone. But sometimes telling someone what they thought was right is wromg can upset people....

Also take into account alot of people here are from other countries and take things personal othera wouldnt and vise versa.

five star advice

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Not about VJ its about humanity...

you're on VJ complaining about your treatment. you're new, this happens a lot. it hasn't changed yet here and likely wont