Involvement of Families in K1 Process

[WantYouToWantMe 1]

Hello all!

I have not filed for a K-1 yet, in fact I am not engaged yet and have not met my man yet. (He is from Egypt, and me from the USA). I am just starting to gather information as we plan our first time to meet, because given the distance obviously if things work out our goal for the relationship would be marriage (as opposed to long term dating, just living together without marriage, etc).

So my question is, how much involvement is needed from each of our families during the K-1 process? Will anyone phone our families? Do they ask questions about our families? Etc.

I have a feeling things are going to be rough, because to be honest my family racist and his family won't like the fact that I'm not a Muslim. I haven't told any of my family about him yet, and he has only told his brother.

Any information or advice is appreciated, thanks!

[Ben&Zian 4,398]

To be honest, in general, family involvement is not an issue.... In our process, his family doesn't know, nor does mine. We don't need their involvement.

Now, that being said, in Egypt, I believe the involvement/acceptance of family is looked at heavily. Same with a lot of MENA type countries. No one will "phone" his family, but it would come up at the interview I'm sure.

As to the difference in religion, I can't really say I have heard it doesnt matter, and that it does.

Do you have any other difference? Like are you two the same age? Large age gap?

Edited November 22, 2016 by Ben&Zian

[WantYouToWantMe 1]

To be honest, in general, family involvement is not an issue.... In our process, his family doesn't know, nor does mine. We don't need their involvement.

Now, that being said, in Egypt, I believe the involvement/acceptance of family is looked at heavily. Same with a lot of MENA type countries. No one will "phone" his family, but it would come up at the interview I'm sure.

As to the difference in religion, I can't really say I have heard it doesnt matter, and that it does.

Do you have any other difference? Like are you two the same age? Large age gap?

Thanks for the response!

I have heard that family is a lot more important in MENA countries... I think he feels nervous about telling his family at this point, he also said they probably won't approve of the fact that we met on the internet.... so I think that after we meet and spend some time together (if things go well!) he will tell them.

We both want to spend time together before agreeing on marriage or anything, I'm just starting to do some research so we can be prepared.

Other than distance, only knowing eachother online, and different religion.... I don't think there are any other issues. No large age gap; we are both 27 (I just turned 27 and he will be 28 in a few months).

We didn't meet on a dating website or anything like that, we actually met through a mutual friend. I have known his best friend for 11 years, and he suggested we talk so he could improve his English. And things went from there. We started chatting and had a really good connection, and want to see if it could turn into a lasting relationship and marriage.

Edited November 22, 2016 by WantYouToWantMe

[Pennycat 880]

They will ask in the interview what your families think, and probably ask for evidence that you've met them. Is it a dealbreaker? Maybe, maybe not. Depends on the totality of the situation. But families not knowing is a big red flag for fraud (they tell their families they got a work visa or something, get green card, divorce and bring over their "real family"--- sometimes an existing wife who was divorced just so that the husband could get married to an American). I'm 100% not saying that this is happening, but this IS a thing, and this is a thing that they look for. Family involvement can be a big deal.

I also would not assume that being set up as you were looks any better/worse than online dating. There's arguments on both sides. Again, it all depends on the totality of the situation.

And a little bit of a gentle "if I were you"-- but if I were you there is zero chance in hell that I even consider making a commitment to someone who hesitates, for any reason, to acknowledge my existence to their family.

[WantYouToWantMe 1]

They will ask in the interview what your families think, and probably ask for evidence that you've met them. Is it a dealbreaker? Maybe, maybe not. Depends on the totality of the situation. But families not knowing is a big red flag for fraud (they tell their families they got a work visa or something, get green card, divorce and bring over their "real family"--- sometimes an existing wife who was divorced just so that the husband could get married to an American). I'm 100% not saying that this is happening, but this IS a thing, and this is a thing that they look for. Family involvement can be a big deal.

I also would not assume that being set up as you were looks any better/worse than online dating. There's arguments on both sides. Again, it all depends on the totality of the situation.

And a little bit of a gentle "if I were you"-- but if I were you there is zero chance in hell that I even consider making a commitment to someone who hesitates, for any reason, to acknowledge my existence to their family.

Thanks for your reply!

That makes a lot of sense, it should be important to meet the family first.

As far as not telling his family about me, a lot of that comes down to culture.... he didn't say he would never tell his family about me, but for his culture it's not really acceptable to introduce girls to the family unless they're seriously considering marriage. And since we haven't even met yet, I wouldn't say we're seriously considering marriage. We definitely need to meet and spend a lot of time together first I would NEVER marry him if his family didn't know about me either!