Question re: divorce of foreign spouse w/child

[notscenenough 6]

I'm an immigrant and I have to agree with the post starter.

Affidavit of support is a HUGE responsibility, and I personally think it is insane of USCIS to make people sign documents like that.

If I was the USC, it would definitely be a huge decision for me to put the signature on this paper. But, theres not much of a choice, is there.

[Otto 83]

I'm an immigrant and I have to agree with the post starter.

Affidavit of support is a HUGE responsibility, and I personally think it is insane of USCIS to make people sign documents like that.

If I was the USC, it would definitely be a huge decision for me to put the signature on this paper. But, theres not much of a choice, is there.

Many other countries have the same/similar guidelines.

[user149 0]

How would you feel if your wife was asking this question here on this board - because to me it sounds like you are more concerned about your wallet than about your wife and her child. Who is to say that you won't LOSE everything you have and she will have to support you, who is to say that you won't (God forbid) crash your car and become disable and she will have to love you above her wallet and stay with you and take care of you, both financially and emotionally and that's what marriage is about, for better or for worse.

Well to answer the first of your hypothetical questions; my girl is no spring chicken, she knows the deal. Were our positions reversed, I would fully expect her to ask the same questions- I don't want to marry an idiot, and to not ask these questions would be frankly, irresponsible and stupid. Is this not the entire reason this forum exists, to answer questions about the immigration process?

I think it is pretty pathetic, If I may say that, for you to be so afraid to be stuck with the bill.

As far as I know marriage is a potentially never ending unlimited support proposition and there will be risks liek everything else in life.

You are contradicting yourself.

On one hand you state marriage is a "potentially never ending unlimited support proposition" and risky.

Yet you call me pathetic and scared for trying to weigh out every possible outcome?

Whereas you, who is "shooting for eternity" are only capable of seeing a single positive outcome.

Which is worse, me for being pathetic and scared, or you for being a shortsighted fool?

You seem to think that love requires a departure from one's practical senses- good luck with that.

Is this your first serious relationship? The puppylove phase only lasts so long.

We have all gone through I-864's and we are all responsible people, who have a bigger love for our spouses than we have for our wallets.

THis is about love and trust, and if you are thinking divorce, sounds like your marriage is going to be a very unhappy one. I mean look at you:

You already have the amount you will give her when you divorce.... you seem so convinced that your marriage is going to fail

Yes, I'm just an absolute ogre, because I've given thought to what might happen if things don't work out, and how things can remain equitable should she return to her country. Oh yeah, thats much worse than some people who hit their wives when things go bad, or some USC's who seek to exploit immigration laws/fear of deportation in order to keep their foreign spouse in line, yeah, I'm just the American devil here... sending her home with a year's salary, I should be ashamed!

Sorry to say man, but you are bringing this woman and this child away from everything they know and cherish and you have shown that you don't care about them at all.

When you assume, it makes an ### out of u and m- well, just you really. Good job not knowing the situation worth a damn. It was her that broached the idea of marriage, not me- whether she wants to leave is entirely her decision. WRT: taking her and her child away from everything they know and cherish. Go check out wikipedia and look up Sincelejo. Then read something about the decades-old conflict in Colombia, and you know, generally have some semblance of an idea about what I'm actually "taking them away from" before you open your mouth.

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

You'll pay through your nose for the rest of your life at the whim of the government. Good luck with it all.

[Emancipation 2]

Staying out of the rest of the above, but just wanted to make sure you understand that you would sign the Affidavit of Support for the "dependant" as well as part of the K-2, saying you would take care of her dependants as well.

You say you are "considering" marriage and that I think is an important point. Considering and entering into an engagement/marriage are two different things. Sounds like you have a lot to think about and sort out. Take your time, and be 100% sure. Marriage is best when it is for life (a former divorcee speaking here). Nothing wrong with taking time to really assess your "risks". If it's not worth the risk, perhaps this is not the right relationship to enter into for "forever" with.

[florida_guy07 0]

I am not going to say anything anymore, just that you are right, every USC who has signed an I-864 without questioning how much money they will lose is irresponsible and stupid, including myself and 99% of this borad.

Good luck....

[CutienPurg 0]

Staying out of the rest of the above, but just wanted to make sure you understand that you would sign the Affidavit of Support for the "dependant" as well as part of the K-2, saying you would take care of her dependants as well.

You say you are "considering" marriage and that I think is an important point. Considering and entering into an engagement/marriage are two different things. Sounds like you have a lot to think about and sort out. Take your time, and be 100% sure. Marriage is best when it is for life (a former divorcee speaking here). Nothing wrong with taking time to really assess your "risks". If it's not worth the risk, perhaps this is not the right relationship to enter into for "forever" with.

Eman , you're so enlighted and rational.....and fair!!

I think I ..........LIKE you !!!!

[MM_MS 0]

New to the forum, sorry if this has already been asked but I wasn't able to find a specific example of my situation:

I am considering marriage to a Colombian woman who happens to have a child (by someone else, not myself).

Lets say that I decide to include this child in her K1 petition, and both come to live in the US.

Now my question; if the marriage is sustained long enough for her to adjust status/remain in the country (2 years?) and she then divorces me, what kind of obligation will I face regarding child support for her daughter? Will I be exempt due to the fact I'm not the biological father, or is this obligation applied to me simply because I married the mother? Despite being divorced, will I still be held to obligations outlined in the Affidavit of Support?

Final question: I will of course, seek to limit some of these obligations through the use of a pre-nuptual agreement. From what I've read, I can avoid things like alimony, but prenups have no effect on child support payments. What are some steps I can take to protect my assets in case my marriage to this beautiful mother-of-one goes south?

Thanks much.

Dear User149 -

I support learning as much as one can in advance of becoming engaged. There's lots of information on VJ, so read up.

The question you raised, however, is not as VJ specific as it is a topic to discuss with an attorney. How to prepare for one's divorce and how to protect one's assets are not topics you'll find on VJ.

VJ is about applying for a visa, the mounds of paperwork to submit, and how to best prepare for the interview. Lots of experience on this list, but with a different focus.

[athena_ny 1]

I am not going to say anything anymore, just that you are right, every USC who has signed an I-864 without questioning how much money they will lose is irresponsible and stupid, including myself and 99% of this borad.

Good luck....

My mother and I signed without questions. We knew the obligation, but didn't care. Still don't, really.

[Boiler 46,121]

Some practical suggestions:

1. Tell her you will marry her but if she wants to come to the US then she needs to find her own way in - Job whatever.

2. Dump her and find a USC or PR that you do not need to sponsor.

[craigandkym 0]

The immigration process in and of itself is too damned hard. Yes, the I864 isn't fair, but it is life. We as citizens of the US have to accept the responsibility of bring a foreign national into this country. Financially as well as otherwise. It's just life.

If in the end you want something easier, where PreNups can be controlled by you, then Immigration isn't your route. I also think, conversations like this one are best had between you and your possible future Mrs. & a lawyer.

Good Luck if this is the route you choose...I wouldn't recommend it if you don't really love your lady.

~Kim

[meauxna 15]

It sounds as if the OP could benefit from reading more analysis of the I-864; there seem to be some misunderstandings about what exactly it covers.

There are several links in the DCF Guide.

Isn't child support a family court issue? The I-864 isn't really limitless for someone in your income bracket, is it?

[diadromous mermaid 36]

How would you feel if your wife was asking this question here on this board - because to me it sounds like you are more concerned about your wallet than about your wife and her child. Who is to say that you won't LOSE everything you have and she will have to support you, who is to say that you won't (God forbid) crash your car and become disable and she will have to love you above her wallet and stay with you and take care of you, both financially and emotionally and that's what marriage is about, for better or for worse.

Well to answer the first of your hypothetical questions; my girl is no spring chicken, she knows the deal. Were our positions reversed, I would fully expect her to ask the same questions- I don't want to marry an idiot, and to not ask these questions would be frankly, irresponsible and stupid. Is this not the entire reason this forum exists, to answer questions about the immigration process?

I think it is pretty pathetic, If I may say that, for you to be so afraid to be stuck with the bill.

As far as I know marriage is a potentially never ending unlimited support proposition and there will be risks liek everything else in life.

You are contradicting yourself.

On one hand you state marriage is a "potentially never ending unlimited support proposition" and risky.

Yet you call me pathetic and scared for trying to weigh out every possible outcome?

Whereas you, who is "shooting for eternity" are only capable of seeing a single positive outcome.

Which is worse, me for being pathetic and scared, or you for being a shortsighted fool?

You seem to think that love requires a departure from one's practical senses- good luck with that.

Is this your first serious relationship? The puppylove phase only lasts so long.

We have all gone through I-864's and we are all responsible people, who have a bigger love for our spouses than we have for our wallets.

THis is about love and trust, and if you are thinking divorce, sounds like your marriage is going to be a very unhappy one. I mean look at you:

You already have the amount you will give her when you divorce.... you seem so convinced that your marriage is going to fail

Yes, I'm just an absolute ogre, because I've given thought to what might happen if things don't work out, and how things can remain equitable should she return to her country. Oh yeah, thats much worse than some people who hit their wives when things go bad, or some USC's who seek to exploit immigration laws/fear of deportation in order to keep their foreign spouse in line, yeah, I'm just the American devil here... sending her home with a year's salary, I should be ashamed!

Sorry to say man, but you are bringing this woman and this child away from everything they know and cherish and you have shown that you don't care about them at all.

When you assume, it makes an ### out of u and m- well, just you really. Good job not knowing the situation worth a damn. It was her that broached the idea of marriage, not me- whether she wants to leave is entirely her decision. WRT: taking her and her child away from everything they know and cherish. Go check out wikipedia and look up Sincelejo. Then read something about the decades-old conflict in Colombia, and you know, generally have some semblance of an idea about what I'm actually "taking them away from" before you open your mouth.

Check the laws of your state to determine obligations that you might have to a non-biological child as a result of a marriage. That said, even if child support might not be mandated by court in the event of a divorce and you might not bear any financial obligation to support the child, bear in mind that the child's existence in the family might ultimately impact the right to some spousal support that could be awarded temporarily to the child's mother.

[user149 0]

Thanks all for the info, my question is largely answered.

I'm up to speed on the I-864, but as the previous posters pointed out, I think I need to do some research in the family court dept.

[Yodrak 7]

user149,

Side issue - not sure what you mean by "decide to include this child in her K1 petition", but I suspect that you may have a misconception in common with many VJers - the I-129f petition requires you to list all children of your fiancee. Don't read more into this than is written there. If you file the petition for your fiancee you should identify her children, as required, whether or not there is any intention for the children to come to the USA.

Yodrak

New to the forum, sorry if this has already been asked but I wasn't able to find a specific example of my situation:

I am considering marriage to a Colombian woman who happens to have a child (by someone else, not myself).

Lets say that I decide to include this child in her K1 petition, and both come to live in the US.

.....

Edited April 3, 2007 by Yodrak