Question re: divorce of foreign spouse w/child

[user149 0]

New to the forum, sorry if this has already been asked but I wasn't able to find a specific example of my situation:

I am considering marriage to a Colombian woman who happens to have a child (by someone else, not myself).

Lets say that I decide to include this child in her K1 petition, and both come to live in the US.

Now my question; if the marriage is sustained long enough for her to adjust status/remain in the country (2 years?) and she then divorces me, what kind of obligation will I face regarding child support for her daughter? Will I be exempt due to the fact I'm not the biological father, or is this obligation applied to me simply because I married the mother? Despite being divorced, will I still be held to obligations outlined in the Affidavit of Support?

Final question: I will of course, seek to limit some of these obligations through the use of a pre-nuptual agreement. From what I've read, I can avoid things like alimony, but prenups have no effect on child support payments. What are some steps I can take to protect my assets in case my marriage to this beautiful mother-of-one goes south?

Thanks much.

[florida_guy07 0]

New to the forum, sorry if this has already been asked but I wasn't able to find a specific example of my situation:

I am considering marriage to a Colombian woman who happens to have a child (by someone else, not myself).

Lets say that I decide to include this child in her K1 petition, and both come to live in the US.

Now my question; if the marriage is sustained long enough for her to adjust status/remain in the country (2 years?) and she then divorces me, what kind of obligation will I face regarding child support for her daughter? Will I be exempt due to the fact I'm not the biological father, or is this obligation applied to me simply because I married the mother? Despite being divorced, will I still be held to obligations outlined in the Affidavit of Support?

Final question: I will of course, seek to limit some of these obligations through the use of a pre-nuptual agreement. From what I've read, I can avoid things like alimony, but prenups have no effect on child support payments. What are some steps I can take to protect my assets in case my marriage to this beautiful mother-of-one goes south?

Thanks much.

While I do understand why some people worry about this, it amazes me how people marry these days and they are already "considering" divorce. I do realize that everyone is just protecting their assets and their pockets, but it still crazy. I am 23 and I am marrying a brazlian girl and I am shooting for eternity and I haven't for once second thought about having to support her in case of a divorce... anyway,

I doubt you will be responsible to pay child support, you are not the biological father and bringing the child to the US is not an adoption, however, you can and will be held responsible for the little contract (I-864) you have (or will) signed with the government basically stating that until:

- They work 40 quarters;

- Die

- Become a citizen

- Leave the US or

- Becomes subject to removal, but applies for and obtains in removal proceedings a new grant of adjustment of status,based on a new affidavit of support, if one is required,...

you will make sure that the government does NOT have to support the immigrant in any case.

So, bringing your spouse to the US is not just about enjoying and having fun, it is very risky and it brings a lot of responsabilities, but so does marrying a USC or anyone for that matter.

Good luck.

Edited March 31, 2007 by florida_guy07

[user149 0]

While I do understand why some people worry about this, it amazes me how people marry these days and they are already "considering" divorce. I do realize that everyone is just protecting their assets and their pockets, but it still crazy. I am 23 and I am marrying a brazlian girl and I am shooting for eternity and I haven't for once second thought about having to support her in case of a divorce... anyway,

Thanks for the info. I'm pretty young as well (26) so I can't claim to be an expert on relationships, but what I do know is this:

The joy and benefits provided by a stable and loving marriage are only eclipsed by the tragedies that follow when one ends.

So I try to be pragmatic... I expect, and prepare for the fall. That way, if it works out, I'm pleasantly surprised. If not, well I saw it coming, and the relationship can end amicably.

Think of it like Texas hold 'em. There's two aces in your hand, but everyone's got a flush draw... you can lay it down and still feel good about yourself, because its the right thing to do.

But sometimes, you see those aces and think you CANT lose... and in the ensuing chase, get your ### handed to you.

There's not a whole lot your foreign spouse stands to lose if things go bad. Remember that, for the most part, its your future in the pot. Protect yourself accordingly.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Oh boy.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're being cautious.

good luck!

Edited March 31, 2007 by sarah and hicham

[mozplay 29]

There's not a whole lot your foreign spouse stands to lose if things go bad. Remember that, for the most part, its your future in the pot. Protect yourself accordingly.

You may want to rethink statements like that on this forum. Many of us here are the 'foreign spouses' not just the USCs and yes ... WE HAVE A LOT TO LOSE. I hope you will learn to see that for your own spouse-to-be's sake.

Mo

[Mephys 2]

There's not a whole lot your foreign spouse stands to lose if things go bad. Remember that, for the most part, its your future in the pot. Protect yourself accordingly.

You may want to rethink statements like that on this forum. Many of us here are the 'foreign spouses' not just the USCs and yes ... WE HAVE A LOT TO LOSE. I hope you will learn to see that for your own spouse-to-be's sake.

Mo

Couldnt have said it better

Signed: proud foreign spouse that is leaving everything behind in order to have a chance with the man of her life

[Otto 83]

Troll Alert

[user149 0]

You may want to rethink statements like that on this forum. Many of us here are the 'foreign spouses' not just the USCs and yes ... WE HAVE A LOT TO LOSE. I hope you will learn to see that for your own spouse-to-be's sake.

Mo

I sense I've touched a nerve here. You've obviously misinterpreted what I've written as: "Americans are teh BEST!!! people in other countries don't have ######!"

My understanding was that, in order to undergo this process, I have to enter into a legally binding contract with the US government; which could ultimately lead to seizure of a large percentage of my income.

The foreign spouse is not required to enter into any such agreement, which was the basis for my statement.

Since I am new to this forum, and obviously ignorant to many aspects of this process, perhaps you can elaborate on what risks the foreign spouse faces. I apologize for my sweeping generalization earlier, but this is a forum for people immigrating to the US; the presumption being that the foreign spouse actually WANTS to be here.

[mozplay 29]

Since I am new to this forum, and obviously ignorant to many aspects of this process, perhaps you can elaborate on what risks the foreign spouse faces. I apologize for my sweeping generalization earlier, but this is a forum for people immigrating to the US; the presumption being that the foreign spouse actually WANTS to be here.

I really don' think it is my (or anyone else's) responsibility to outline the risks, both emotional and financial, that both parties undertake. If you are a troll - go away. If you are not, then it is my sincerest hope that by researching on this forum and others like it, that you find the answers you seek.

The best of luck and happiness to you both.

Mo

[Captain Ewok 1,900]

User149, I will assume like the other member did that you have the best of intentions and are being cautious. We are a pretty accepting community however like all forums sometimes a troll comes in so some people might say that. If that is not the case then sorry for someone saying that! I wish you the best and I hope that like many people you will enjoy this site and feel at home.

[user149 0]

I really don' think it is my (or anyone else's) responsibility to outline the risks, both emotional and financial, that both parties undertake. If you are a troll - go away. If you are not, then it is my sincerest hope that by researching on this forum and others like it, that you find the answers you seek.

The best of luck and happiness to you both.

Mo

You guys don't seem to understand what a troll is. I made a concise, on-topic post looking for information in a place where I thought people would have some idea.

Predictably, I'm flamed in classic internets fashion. GG y'all. Who actually would put the effort into trolling a site like this? I'm not some biblethumping anti-immigration nut.

And it IS your responsibility to outline the risks- it became so when you bashed my statement, and when I asked you to back up yours. If you have some information to present, then get to it.

If you just posted to call me a troll, have a tall glass of STFU.

[Bobbie 1]

I really don' think it is my (or anyone else's) responsibility to outline the risks, both emotional and financial, that both parties undertake. If you are a troll - go away. If you are not, then it is my sincerest hope that by researching on this forum and others like it, that you find the answers you seek.

The best of luck and happiness to you both.

Mo

You guys don't seem to understand what a troll is. I made a concise, on-topic post looking for information in a place where I thought people would have some idea.

Predictably, I'm flamed in classic internets fashion. GG y'all. Who actually would put the effort into trolling a site like this? I'm not some biblethumping anti-immigration nut.

And it IS your responsibility to outline the risks- it became so when you bashed my statement, and when I asked you to back up yours. If you have some information to present, then get to it.

If you just posted to call me a troll, have a tall glass of STFU.

Maybe I am older so it bothers me less to think of a pre-nup. My fiance and I have had this discussion, but we didnt try to load for bear before we spoke to each other. IT was a tough conversation, however we both feel we will be in business together, and in love together and if either ends we want to make the decisions now, how it will go, and not in the heat of a moment. If his child came to live with us, and we split woudl I pay child support, yes, I think I would if it was necessary for him. After all, if the child comes to know me as a step mommy or a second mommy, would i cut communication off iwth the child due to the divorce, no. Not unless it was totally unwelcomed by the dad. Children are slates, you must be very careful when you go to write on them, they retain so much. So, yes honey, I love you and mommy...oh no honey i dont lvoe mommy any more so i cant loveyou....that would be uncool.

I cant condem you regarding the pre-nup. I can however say we have already spoke about how we woudl divide things, and it would not be one sided. It woudl be very fair, spliting assets we are yet to obtain.

My goal in doing this is so we both feel safe and know our children would be provided for in the event of a split or death. Luckily, we were on the same page.

Bobbie

[sophyie 0]

If you provide some information about yourself in your profile (type of visa, timeline etc) you're less likely mistaken for a troll.

As to what we have to lose:

Don't forget that foreign spouses leave behind their entire life when they come to the US.

We leave behind our homes, careers, families- and don't automatically get them back in case things go bad in the relationship.

To your original question: I'd suggest consulting an immigration attorney.

Have you read the affidavid of support I-846?

Maybe it is explained right there.

My guess: if the kid is included in the affidavid of support, you're somewhat responsible for it as well. To what extend I don't know.

Good luck

[user149 0]

Bobbie thank you for such a detailed personal account, this is EXACTLY the info I was looking for (and the very conversation I am dreading myself). My urge for a pre-nup doesn't come from some inflated feeling of self-worth, its from my desire to protect my current family, specificly my learning-disabled younger brother, aging grandmother, and mother who, bless her heart, works at a non-profit organization and makes ####### for salary. These are the people who I have to care for in my life NOW, and they have to be worked into any future plans.

Regarding a split when the child is involved; the tone of my original post implied that I'm against supporting this child. Not so. What I object to, is the government being the one who decides how much and how often, of which they are frequently a very poor judge. That is something that I would seek to settle between us as parents. As for the emotional ties... that is the real tough subject. When I met the lady in question, I didn't know she had a child.. that wasn't part of my plan at all, but slowly became something I'm accostomed to. Her little girl is 8 now; if we were divorced and they stayed in the country, I wouldn't cut off contact with either, and certainly would help them out financially.. BUT- I would want HER to be her daughter's primary caregiver, not me (particularly should she find herself a new beau). In the case they choose not to remain in-country, I would provide for their tickets home, and a severance gift of sorts (maybe like $2,500US; around a year's salary or so where she's from) and probably then still visit if she'd let me.

Also:

As to what we have to lose:

Don't forget that foreign spouses leave behind their entire life when they come to the US.

We leave behind our homes, careers, families- and don't automatically get them back in case things go bad in the relationship.

Well here is a valid argument, and I think is what mozplay was alluding to.

Whichever spouse is moving undoubtedly bears the heavier burden.

I should hope that one could always return to their family, and homes are replaceable.

However loss of career, I will grant, is a pretty tough blow, especially after a multi-year absence.

Only remedy for that would be to give assistance once they have returned to their home country.. as I said above, not something I have a problem with.

I am guessing people from select countries may also experience problems repatriating themselves.. also rough, but not something I can really help with.

Regarding the I-846, I've read and (I think) understood the guidelines, but was unsure if I there were additional state/federal laws that would require me to provide for the child after a divorce (assuming they don't go back to their country of course).

My thanks again to both of you.

[florida_guy07 0]

How would you feel if your wife was asking this question here on this board - because to me it sounds like you are more concerned about your wallet than about your wife and her child. Who is to say that you won't LOSE everything you have and she will have to support you, who is to say that you won't (God forbid) crash your car and become disable and she will have to love you above her wallet and stay with you and take care of you, both financially and emotionally and that's what marriage is about, for better or for worse. I think it is pretty pathetic, If I may say that, for you to be so afraid to be stuck with the bill.

As far as I know marriage is a potentially never ending unlimited support proposition and there will be risks liek everything else in life.

We have all gone through I-864's and we are all responsible people, who have a bigger love for our spouses than we have for our wallets.

THis is about love and trust, and if you are thinking divorce, sounds like your marriage is going to be a very unhappy one. I mean look at you:

...I would provide for their tickets home, and a severance gift of sorts (maybe like $2,500US; around a year's salary or so where she's from) and probably then still visit if she'd let me.

You already have the amount you will give her when you divorce.... you seem so convinced that your marriage is going to fail

Sorry to say man, but you are bringing this woman and this child away from everything they know and cherish and you have shown that you don't care about them at all.