Confused about helping husband with citizenship

[carolynhotstuff 252]

I have been a long time member of visa journey and have helped many members with their own questions now I find myself needing help. I have been married to my husband for 7 years. It took 4 years after our marriage to get the embassy to issue him a visa. I love my husband and over all the years have invested in him emotionally and financially. Now he has a good job and we built his credit so it is excellent.

It is time for him to file for citizenship under the 3 year rule based on marriage to me. He is pressuring me to help him because he wants a US passport and to petition for his parents to come live here. I am torn about what to do. I love this country as corney as it sounds. I don't believe he deserves to become a citizen based on marriage to me because of moral grounds. He is an alcoholic and although not physically abusive there has been lots of emotional abuse going on. For 2 years he sent most of his income to Pakistan leaving me to foot the bills at home. He has admitted to me that although he loves me his prime reason for coming here was to have a better life for himself and his family in Pakistan. Now I find he has recently been keeping company with a prostitute even though he says he has never slept with her.

I know that helping him gain citizenship would get me out from under the I-864 but after reading the citizenship guidelines I feel that he doesn't have the moral character and I just can't bring myself to lie and pretend he does or pretend that our marriage is a stable loving one. I am looking at starting a new life that doesn't include him.

In 2 years he can file for citizenship on his own. I would prefer not to be involved. Does anyone have any thoughts or opinions? They would be welcome.

[A'n'L 735]

Divorce him, then he won't be eligible to file based on your marriage.

[carolynhotstuff 252]

In the N-400 petition they ask for the dates I got married before, the divorce dates and the divorce papers. He can not file without this information and my divorce documents. I sent my divorce papers to USCIS and NVC when i filed the I-130 petition. He would not be able to lie and say I was never married before him. This is where my part of helping him comes in. I am refusing to give him this information and divorce decrees.

[aleful 1,905]

hi

ditto, you could divorce him and he would have to wait 5 years for citizenship

[Unlockable 7,314]

If you don't want to be involved you have every right to tell him so. I am struggling to see what the problem is. You are a grown person. He can't force you to do anything. So if he is pressuring you, tell him to back off and do it on his own in 2 years. End of discussion.

Edited November 10, 2016 by NuestraUnion

[Auds 223]

Isnt it easy in US to get hold of your prevoous divorce documents?

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

If he has a good job, then it is unlikely the I-864 will become an issue in the next two years. However, if he naturalises and wants to bring his parents, he may next pressure you to sign a I-864 for his parents, and assumign they are elderly, that could get expensive.

But what do you truly want to do? You say you want to start a new life, but also that you love him. and that he loves you, though it wasn't the only reason he came here.

[Ortolan 381]

It's pretty clear that his agenda for the past 2 years has been focused on family other than you. And 'keeping company' with a prostitute? You know what you need to do.

[NikLR 13,227]

Do you really believe he's not having a sexual relationship with a prostitute he has been hanging around with?

Divorce and he can't file for 2 years and you also won't be pressured into signing an I-864a.

As per your other post, it's decently easy for someone to look up a divorce in the USA. Public records.

Edited November 10, 2016 by NikLR

[jpiz777 3]

I know that helping him gain citizenship would get me out from under the I-864 but after reading the citizenship guidelines I feel that he doesn't have the moral character and I just can't bring myself to lie and pretend he does or pretend that our marriage is a stable loving one. I am looking at starting a new life that doesn't include him.

Yes, divorce him so he can't pressure you any longer. He's a walking STD

Edited November 10, 2016 by jpiz777

[NBA16 55]

Sorry but i wonder if he will love you after getting the citizenship. If you feel he doesn't have the moral character then don't help him. Good luck with your new life

[RodDetroit 118]

I have been a long time member of visa journey and have helped many members with their own questions now I find myself needing help. I have been married to my husband for 7 years. It took 4 years after our marriage to get the embassy to issue him a visa. I love my husband and over all the years have invested in him emotionally and financially. Now he has a good job and we built his credit so it is excellent.

It is time for him to file for citizenship under the 3 year rule based on marriage to me. He is pressuring me to help him because he wants a US passport and to petition for his parents to come live here. I am torn about what to do. I love this country as corney as it sounds. I don't believe he deserves to become a citizen based on marriage to me because of moral grounds. He is an alcoholic and although not physically abusive there has been lots of emotional abuse going on. For 2 years he sent most of his income to Pakistan leaving me to foot the bills at home. He has admitted to me that although he loves me his prime reason for coming here was to have a better life for himself and his family in Pakistan. Now I find he has recently been keeping company with a prostitute even though he says he has never slept with her.

I know that helping him gain citizenship would get me out from under the I-864 but after reading the citizenship guidelines I feel that he doesn't have the moral character and I just can't bring myself to lie and pretend he does or pretend that our marriage is a stable loving one. I am looking at starting a new life that doesn't include him.

In 2 years he can file for citizenship on his own. I would prefer not to be involved. Does anyone have any thoughts or opinions? They would be welcome.

He just told you he used you for selfish reasons, if i were you i would divorce him , what are you getting out of this marriage ? it will be even worse when he brings his parents over, you wont have a say in the house, you are better off by your own than living with him .

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

I think being a "habitual drunkard" makes him ineligible. If he lies about it, it's misrepresentation.

[kzielu 1,149]

OP - I don't understand why you have any doubts.You clearly were not his primary goal in his life and he even admitted to it. He did not contribute to your family.

Keeping company with prostitute and did not sleep with her ? I really don't know who believes it.... Also - unless you're in Nevada (and looks like you're not) prostitution is illegal and can get him in trouble and ineligible to file N-400. Divorce him ASAP - if he has a good job, you have a chance of getting some payback of years of sending money out....

I know things are difficult to see from inside relationship, but from outside (from what you wrote) you should ditch him ASAP.

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

I'm wondering why you are still married to him if he's so bad.