is it normal? no send money to your girlfriend in other country?, please answer american men (merged)

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

To answer OP's question about supporting girlfriend, hell no!!!! As an American man who brought a fiancée from the 3rd world country to the US, it would tell me that she only wants me for the fact that I am willing to support her. I would end the relationship. While the visa was pending for my fiancée, she continued to work, but I would send her a couple hundred dollars a month because I know that she barely made enough to pay the bills and take care of her kids, but she never did anything for herself. I wanted her to be able to buy new clothes, nicer make up, go out with girlfriends, etc. But it was my decision and if she had asked (she never did), I would feel like I was being used and would have had a problem with that.

As for sending money back to the family, that's a big cultural thing. It's big in Latin America, and Asia as far as I know. My wife's family is pretty proud and doesn't ask for any money, except maybe a handful of times in 8 years of marriage. These were really for things that were important. I don't believe in supporting extended family. That is not my job. They somehow supported themselves before me and so things won't be changing. I don't want to feel like she found me as just any guy to use for family support.

This thread has changed since the beginning. First, I thought he wanted you to work while the visa was being processed and then he would move you to the US. It seemed like you didn't want to work and wanted him to support you and your family when you lived in DR. And then when you went to the US, you expected him to support your family in DR until you can work. I thought you were just looking to find a sucker to support you and your family. Sorry, that's what it sounded like.

But now, according to your last post, he only wants a free booty call when he goes down on vacation. I've heard of this before in my wife's country. Guy meets a nice woman in poor country and makes all kinds of promises, including bringing her to America, but all he really wants is some free you know what whenever he visits. So she thinks that one day he will sweep her off her feet and move her to America meanwhile, it's all empty promises and he has no commitment (financial and emotional) and only has to spend on her while he's there a few times per year. In that case, I agree about breaking up with him.

[Ilovemyman 147]

To answer OP's question about supporting girlfriend, hell no!!!! As an American man who brought a fiancée from the 3rd world country to the US, it would tell me that she only wants me for the fact that I am willing to support her. I would end the relationship. While the visa was pending for my fiancée, she continued to work, but I would send her a couple hundred dollars a month because I know that she barely made enough to pay the bills and take care of her kids, but she never did anything for herself. I wanted her to be able to buy new clothes, nicer make up, go out with girlfriends, etc. But it was my decision and if she had asked (she never did), I would feel like I was being used and would have had a problem with that.

As for sending money back to the family, that's a big cultural thing. It's big in Latin America, and Asia as far as I know. My wife's family is pretty proud and doesn't ask for any money, except maybe a handful of times in 8 years of marriage. These were really for things that were important. I don't believe in supporting extended family. That is not my job. They somehow supported themselves before me and so things won't be changing. I don't want to feel like she found me as just any guy to use for family support.

This thread has changed since the beginning. First, I thought he wanted you to work while the visa was being processed and then he would move you to the US. It seemed like you didn't want to work and wanted him to support you and your family when you lived in DR. And then when you went to the US, you expected him to support your family in DR until you can work. I thought you were just looking to find a sucker to support you and your family. Sorry, that's what it sounded like.

But now, according to your last post, he only wants a free booty call when he goes down on vacation. I've heard of this before in my wife's country. Guy meets a nice woman in poor country and makes all kinds of promises, including bringing her to America, but all he really wants is some free you know what whenever he visits. So she thinks that one day he will sweep her off her feet and move her to America meanwhile, it's all empty promises and he has no commitment (financial and emotional) and only has to spend on her while he's there a few times per year. In that case, I agree about breaking up with him.

thanks for understand, i dont want he gives me just money.

i mean, one day he says i want go to live there, then another day he says i dont want you quit your job to go to USA, then i ask him to move to live to my country to live together but he refuses,

today i asked about do something to live together and he said the same again, he doesnt want to move here but he doesnt want i quit my job to move to USA, the i told him i dont want a man for vacation time.

[Ontarkie 14,227]

You said your relationship is 8 months old, he never filed anything for you but you post like he did. I think you were moving faster then he was and felt like you are just after his money.

At this point with all the breaking up it's time stay broken up. You two do not sound like a match.

[Ilovemyman 147]

You said your relationship is 8 months old, he never filed anything for you but you post like he did. I think you were moving faster then he was and felt like you are just after his money.

At this point with all the breaking up it's time stay broken up. You two do not sound like a match.

on july he proposed to me to get marry on USA, he said he will do a visa for me.

never he felt that i was after his money because never i asked for money or for visa.

all the time he was the one who talk about live together at usa, but another day he changed his mind and said he didnt want that i quit my job to go to USA.

so i proposed him to live here and i can continue working on my job, but he refused live here.

really i wanted be together with him, but he only wants someone to have fun on vacations.

when i met him i didnt wanted start a relationship with nobody, he was over and over many months saying he wanted a wife, and that he needed someone next to him and share his life with someone.

but he really wanted someone for fun behind the promise that he wanted an wife.