i am facing a dilemma

[Chris H 0]

I think she's extremely upset with you for putting her parents in the middle of it. She feels pressure from you and them and she probably feels that her parents should be on her side and not yours since they are her parents. That might be the reason why she's hidding on computer. Give her some time and if it's meant for you to be together then you will be. Time will show everything just have patience. Whenever my parents liked someone and I didn't and they tried to convince me to be with him, the more it pushed me away from this guy.

Forcing her won't do any good to both of you.

Good luck!

I didn't put her parents into this. Her parents put themselves into it since they wanted her to be with me. They know I am loyal and caring to her and thought me and her can be happy together. In the beginning the girl thought the same, but suddenly got scared of something, and thought if she comes to the US she can't adapt to culture change. I think she just lacks self-confidence and is insecure.

Then her parents, friends, and relatives all pressured her to be with me. I even told them to relax it a lil and they still pressured her. I think to the extend that she gave up and told me we must split.

[Addie_Goodvibes 0]

In the words of Tom Lykis DTB Just Kidding!

Give her space and don't pressure her, you BOTH need time away from this.

I suggest you find something to keep your mind busy and distracted from this situation

Go to the Gym, work out or take up a Hobby that does not involve you waiting Online for her to show.

You & her need time to think & sort out things.

[knowledge 0]

I think she's extremely upset with you for putting her parents in the middle of it. She feels pressure from you and them and she probably feels that her parents should be on her side and not yours since they are her parents. That might be the reason why she's hidding on computer. Give her some time and if it's meant for you to be together then you will be. Time will show everything just have patience. Whenever my parents liked someone and I didn't and they tried to convince me to be with him, the more it pushed me away from this guy.

Forcing her won't do any good to both of you.

Good luck!

I couldn't say it better!!

[Chris H 0]

I got a lot of advice from members here, but it doesn't look like this relationship could be saved. I have moved on and so has she. I am told that her father found her a long term/higher paying job. He may also try to find a guy for her from within that company.

Thanks for everyone's help on here.

[almaty 19]

I got a lot of advice from members here, but it doesn't look like this relationship could be saved. I have moved on and so has she. I am told that her father found her a long term/higher paying job. He may also try to find a guy for her from within that company.

Thanks for everyone's help on here.

good luck brother

[knowledge 0]

I got a lot of advice from members here, but it doesn't look like this relationship could be saved. I have moved on and so has she. I am told that her father found her a long term/higher paying job. He may also try to find a guy for her from within that company.

Thanks for everyone's help on here.

Her father?? geez! he just couldn't let her go...strange story...!!!...i hope you learned a lot from this story and know better from now on!...i wish you good luck!!!..

[JoeMama 0]

All in all, it seriously sucks. But soon enough you'll find someone new. And she will be better than what you had before.

[Chris H 0]

I got a lot of advice from members here, but it doesn't look like this relationship could be saved. I have moved on and so has she. I am told that her father found her a long term/higher paying job. He may also try to find a guy for her from within that company.

Thanks for everyone's help on here.

Her father?? geez! he just couldn't let her go...strange story...!!!...i hope you learned a lot from this story and know better from now on!...i wish you good luck!!!..

it is a strange story indeed....sometimes I can't even comprehend it myself.

I still keep in touch with her cousins, grandma, and aunt. They don't respect her anymore since she doesn't listen to them and only thinks about herself.

They told me recently she and her father argue often. She doesn't want him or anyone else telling her what she can and cannot do. She wants everything her way. She went and found her own job, didn't want to work at her father's friend's business. Her father and mother still likes me from what I hear, but its her that I don't know....I think she doesn't like me anymore.

Should I call and get an update from her?

[Ban Hammer 13,293]

I got a lot of advice from members here, but it doesn't look like this relationship could be saved. I have moved on and so has she. I am told that her father found her a long term/higher paying job. He may also try to find a guy for her from within that company.

Thanks for everyone's help on here.

Her father?? geez! he just couldn't let her go...strange story...!!!...i hope you learned a lot from this story and know better from now on!...i wish you good luck!!!..

it is a strange story indeed....sometimes I can't even comprehend it myself.

I still keep in touch with her cousins, grandma, and aunt. They don't respect her anymore since she doesn't listen to them and only thinks about herself.

They told me recently she and her father argue often. She doesn't want him or anyone else telling her what she can and cannot do. She wants everything her way. She went and found her own job, didn't want to work at her father's friend's business. Her father and mother still likes me from what I hear, but its her that I don't know....I think she doesn't like me anymore.

Should I call and get an update from her?

absolutely not

let it go, start dating again.

[almaty 19]

I got a lot of advice from members here, but it doesn't look like this relationship could be saved. I have moved on and so has she. I am told that her father found her a long term/higher paying job. He may also try to find a guy for her from within that company.

Thanks for everyone's help on here.

Her father?? geez! he just couldn't let her go...strange story...!!!...i hope you learned a lot from this story and know better from now on!...i wish you good luck!!!..

it is a strange story indeed....sometimes I can't even comprehend it myself.

I still keep in touch with her cousins, grandma, and aunt. They don't respect her anymore since she doesn't listen to them and only thinks about herself.

They told me recently she and her father argue often. She doesn't want him or anyone else telling her what she can and cannot do. She wants everything her way. She went and found her own job, didn't want to work at her father's friend's business. Her father and mother still likes me from what I hear, but its her that I don't know....I think she doesn't like me anymore.

Should I call and get an update from her?

absolutely not

let it go, start dating again.

agreed, as they use to say in the Army.." f##k it, it don't mean nothing...time to drive on" ..cause in your life, it will just be another chapter of learning about people and love...(no charge) dr. dean

[knowledge 0]

I got a lot of advice from members here, but it doesn't look like this relationship could be saved. I have moved on and so has she. I am told that her father found her a long term/higher paying job. He may also try to find a guy for her from within that company.

Thanks for everyone's help on here.

Her father?? geez! he just couldn't let her go...strange story...!!!...i hope you learned a lot from this story and know better from now on!...i wish you good luck!!!..

it is a strange story indeed....sometimes I can't even comprehend it myself.

I still keep in touch with her cousins, grandma, and aunt. They don't respect her anymore since she doesn't listen to them and only thinks about herself.

They told me recently she and her father argue often. She doesn't want him or anyone else telling her what she can and cannot do. She wants everything her way. She went and found her own job, didn't want to work at her father's friend's business. Her father and mother still likes me from what I hear, but its her that I don't know....I think she doesn't like me anymore.

Should I call and get an update from her?

Ok..let's put it in a different way that might help you to to make the best decision...because nobody can do it in your place...: you seem to have doubts about to let or not let go...if so, what makes you not let go this situation? is it because of what others say, i.e. aunt, etc...and they conviced you or make you think maybe not to give up? that you think something serious is still between you both but she just doesn't / or hides it...to care to tell you about...In any case, we can doubt till next year, if you do not talk personnaly to her..period...listening to me, or others, online, or in her family...it won't help....you are young adults now...she on her side tries to separate from adults and think by herself, even it's a bad decision, at least is hers, and not others decision...that's great...what about you now..what are you going to do: again, listen to her family, or work on something to help you make yourself up your mind about what you need, desire (actually these are 2 different things) and hope about what's worth or not to keep in touch and dream or feel you might realize your dream to build your life with her...Nobody can aswer these questions because they are long term projects...only you 2 can do it...for now, i only see she is not in contact with you...maybe because she knows you are talking still to her family...

I forgot the exact poster's name...TN something (sorry lol)...said it you are much involved with the parents and not her...you denied it...and you are still doing it lol...it takes time to understand what we are really doing it...lol...so more thinking of the dynamic you are into might be useful...

Ok almaty's statement makes me feel challenged now lol...next time i'll ask a fee lol...

Seriously...you are the one who knows and /or find your own way to know it...!!!

[Chris H 0]

update to this thread....

I recently found out from her aunt and her dad over the weekend, that she quit her job. She didn't like the job (not sure why) and just quit (stopped showing up for work). She now stays at home, sleeps, chats online, plays computer games online, and plays with her dog. Also, I was told one of her friends wants to introduce her to a guy...I wonder if the guy would like a girl who is like self-centered and lazy....haha!

Luckily, I didn't bring her here, otherwise she wouldn't like what I have and she would make me miserable!

[JoeMama 0]

As much as it hurt at the beginning, I would say she really did you a HUGE favor by ending it with you! Yes! Imagine if you would've brought her here? It would've been way worse! Now is the time to just let it all go. Don't go looking for updates, occupy your time with other things, etc. It's time for you to live for the future. The past is gone.

[Sinergy 3]

congrats for moving on and being so positive about it all