US Citizen wife possible victim of marriage fraud

[Boiler 43,996]

That would be for the FBI and Immigration to deal with, but DV, terrorist threats, and fraud are all reasons of deportation.

Unless I missed it he is not even in custody never mind being prosecuted and convicted.

Fraud?

[doreenmattseattle 9]

Holy warning signs batman. Report him immediately. Annul and get this person out. Seriously--- how many times have we read about rampage, massacre, honor killings and such and everyone has all kinds of retroactive warning signs and obvious cautions that were not heeded. End it. Start over with a better approach.

[BethyWink 96]

Unless I missed it he is not even in custody never mind being prosecuted and convicted.

Fraud?

Because she hasn't called anyone on there! I do not know why you need to be so rude to people telling her to call the cops/FBI. If they are empty threats they are still threats, which are illegal.

[Boiler 43,996]

Sadly many people comment without reading the posts.

She has a Personal Protection Order.

Also said:

I called ICE they said if he breaks his ppo he will be arrested, and to call them immediately, and they will proceed with removal; because he is still conditional for first 5 years after arrival...& there are certain things immigrants can be deported for, and violating a ppo is one of them

No such thing as conditional for 5 years and breaching a PPO is MOST unlikely to result in deportation.

He has a 10 year GC and there have been plenty of cases of people with seemingly serious convictions not being deported, never mind someone who has not even been charged with anything.

[angelbrown 195]

I don't have any info that can help you, I don't have the experience or knowledge. But my heart breaks for you. So sorry this happened. Praying for strength and inner peace for you.

[Michael2017 368]

http://www.2knowmyself.com/How_to_get_over_anyone

This ebook might help you, it did for me, so it is well worth reading and giving it a chance...

[Rc123rc 528]

OP, I'm so sorry for your situation. You did love him and it hurts. I can tell you from personal experience that my ex wife was wonderful when we first met and got married but it was all an act and she could turn it on and off. To the outside world she was a great person and many people still think that way until she slips up. I had to cut ties with all mutual friends because she had them all fooled and destroyed my reputation with them. She even had the counselors and therapists fooled. But they figured it out eventually and recommended I get out of the marriage and take our daughter with me. The threats can remain threats only but when pushed can be escalated into actual deeds. It's not fraud but it is cruel and heartbreaking. You've done no wrong. I ask that you do everything to protect yourself and your children. Get some support and counseling. This guy almost sounds like a psychopath. It's way beyond what I have seen in a BPD situation. I will stress what others have said. He will not change. If anything, I think he will get worse.

One question. Is he on medications for anything?

[LionessDeon 2,060]

I have been reminded the OP's other account, and there were numerous red flags, obviously those flags do not always come to fruition, sadly in this case they did.

And yes from a T country but not the one I originally thought of.

I pray it's not who I'm thinking of.

[Michael2017 368]

T country? Tunesia?

[LionessDeon 2,060]

T country? Tunesia?

T Country = Terrorist Country

[bdawn 66]

He’s telling you he could have cut your head off (beheaded you) if you were in his country and you’re playing around stuff like that when you have kids? If you think you can use rational arguments to help a seemingly irrational man and a potential terrorist, you’re even fooling yourself more than he’s already done to you. Your only option is to stay as far away from his crazies as you can. And, it’s a good idea to inform the FBI so they can keep an eye on him from a distance before his crazies explode to other members of the American society. I am not reading meaning into anything; from his utterances, he’s a potential terrorist.

[Arslan12 20]

She said he is from a South Asian muslim country. So I think he is from Pakistan. There are good and bad people in Pakistan. It is generally a male dominated society where women are not independent. The way her husband is behaving makes me feel like he has metal issues more than cultural/religious issues. He is mentally ill. His behavior would've been the same if he was from a different country. He would just be saying different things. I'm sure his behavior towards his family in his country is the same. I can understand the state OP is in and I feel very sorry for her.

To OP: I am very sorry that it happened to you. You were not prepared and couldn't see this coming. But now you have to understand that your husband is not what you thought he was. He was a different person online. You deserve to be with that person. You need start search for love again and move on. He is never going to change without medical treatment. He is actually crazy.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

I dont know why anyone cares where he is from.

And if he were isis would he be homeless??

I think hes just trying to get a rise out of the OP.

[ameribrazil 36]

@devistatedwife:

Reading your posts is very disheartening and sad. But your post below raises an eyebrow for me. I believe and suggest that moving on to protect yourself is your only option. I will also HIGHLY recommend that you contact the FBI and report his potential threat. I am worried that he's not only going to hurt you but also other innocent lives here in America.

Perhaps the person that you married might have been converted to an islam extremist or as other said, you weren't with him 24/7 during the 3 years and could not have foreseen this. But the fact of matter that he's very abusive to you and done so in many occasion will never change. He may change for a few days, weeks and months but he's a walking time bomb that will lash/strike at you at any given moment. You don't deserve this and other human being deserves this kind of treatment.

I will also suggest to seek counseling for yourself to help you get through this tough time. I am worried for you because your feelings is clouding your judgement. So if you really want to resolve this issue, take a step back, gain control of your feelings and make the right obvious decision. Like I said, seeking professional help might be your only out right now. AND PLEASE contact the FBI so if he does something stupid, you're not tagged as conspiring with his potential evil acts.

Good LUCK!

Thanks everyone for the responses. I do have a couple friends with husbands from the same country, and the husbands both said that this behavior would never happen. Wives are treated very well usually. They think he's dangerous. The thing that throws me is how could he fake an awesome personality for 3+ years? I am still in love with MY husband, the one that was waiting forever to be with me forever to live happily ever after. I am feeling like, I am in mourning, like MY husband got murdered or something and this person stole his visa. I don't know this man. Same looks, but personality is horrible...and all he ever does now is beg me to forgive him, he accepts responsibility for his abusive behavior towards me and says he feels bad about it, and wants me to let him prove he will never do it again. But he's said it before...many times since he's been here the past 5 months now. I called ICE they said if he breaks his ppo he will be arrested, and to call them immediately, and they will proceed with removal; because he is still conditional for first 5 years after arrival...& there are certain things immigrants can be deported for, and violating a ppo is one of them. The thing is, that would be forever... but I want MY husband. Does everyone here really think this man can't be rehabilitated through the DV class therapy? How do I accept that THIS man really is MY husband, and scammed me this whole time??? Am I insane because I want to believe him, that he'll change? How can anyone do this to anyone? Should I call his family and tell them? He's threatened suicide. The first week he was here we went to a gun dealer, he found a semi-automatic black rifle they said he could buy for around $700, he had plans of buying it "for protection" ...until i added that in the ppo that they should ban his ability to purchase a firearm. Oh, btw...he used to follow islam. I wore hijab of my own free will while we were separated waiting for issue. After he got here, he made me stop wearing hijab, and wear tank tops and short shorts...we never prayed, nor followed Ramadan this year, never went to mosque, nothing islamic. He drinks alcohol now, occasionally. His family knows nothing. I haven't skyped with them for months, because I don't want to lie. I know, he sounds horrible. He even commented to me, laughing... that he would do a bomb like the one in new york, the pressure cooker one, in the dumpster if trump paid him, and made him disappear. He told me isis is hiring in his country...you pledge your life for 7 years, they pay you like a king, but at the end of the time you have to give your life as a suicide bomber, no exceptions, no way out. Why would he tell me these things? I seriously think whoever this guy is, is psychotic and possibly dangerous. BUT I don't know if he was just talking or... if it's possible he would do something. I don't know who this man is, but he looks like MY husband...how do I handle this, and being committed to marriage, shouldn't I give him a chance to prove he wants to be a good person by going to these DV classes? I know, I sound like I'm mental...but I'm devastated and feel like, wth is going on??? I have been going to therapy, talked to domestic violence advocates, my doctor put me on xanax, talked to the dr's office counselor, talked with friends....but I still feel sick. I believe he is a narcissist sociopath...but again, is this man really MY husband, and HOW did he pretend to have a completely different attitude/personality for over 3 years? Was is like a split personality? How do I get his old personality back? Was he possessed? Can anyone help me to make the connection? Thanks for any response.

[Arslan12 20]

I dont know why anyone cares where he is from.

People are curious. It does give a general idea of why he is saying certain things.

And if he were isis would he be homeless??

Do you mean to say that isis is a rich powerful organization? That's wrong. They are a group of violent poor people.

I think hes just trying to get a rise out of the OP.