Need help pls

[Ontarkie 14,274]

Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes from K1 progress reports. - As similar topics are discussed here.~~

[LionessDeon 2,060]

I have PTSD and I'm so glad I have a supportive husband who sticks by my side and helps me through it rather than leaving. It's not easy living with PTSD it's not like I ever asked for the events to happen to me nobody does

A real man! Hope you continue to heal.

[JenniferNangel 137]

A real man! Hope you continue to heal.

Yes he definitely is and I feel so blessed!!! I'm doing the best I can and it's all a process but my husband makes me want to be a better person and help me recover. For the first time in my life I don't feel like I have to face anything alone, I may not of fought in a war but I'm still a survivor

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

OP, if you filed for VAWA and it was denied, there is not much you can do immigration-wise. You are accruing overstay. You should leave.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Yes he definitely is and I feel so blessed!!! I'm doing the best I can and it's all a process but my husband makes me want to be a better person and help me recover. For the first time in my life I don't feel like I have to face anything alone, I may not of fought in a war but I'm still a survivor

[Dutchster 1,107]

Yes he definitely is and I feel so blessed!!! I'm doing the best I can and it's all a process but my husband makes me want to be a better person and help me recover. For the first time in my life I don't feel like I have to face anything alone, I may not of fought in a war but I'm still a survivor

Bless his heart and yours!

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

As far as I am aware, you don't have too many options since you don't have any evidence they consider worthwhile. You also can't adjust status by marrying someone else since you came in on a K1. Your best option at the moment might simply be to return home so that you don't get overstay and a ban.

[JFH 12,190]

If you love her surely you want to help her? It breaks my heart to see my husband in the pain that he gets because of his arthritis and that is managed quite well with pain relief. If I had to see my husband struggle to this level with PTSD as you are describing then I would be distraught. And I would go to the ends of the earth to help and heal my husband. A separation and being abandoned by the person she loves more than anyone in the world is not going to help your wife.

I find it hard to believe that PTSD of this severity was completely unnoticeable for the 2 years or however long it was before you married. I have had severe depression and been hospitalised with it after my baby died. My husband spotted the pain in my eyes right away because he loves me and wants me to be happy and well. Even though it was years ago. So I'm sure you must have noticed something.

Marriage is about the good times and the bad times. You made a vow to her. It's not her fault that she's suffering. Do you have any idea the kind of stuff that the military witnesses in combat? I'm surprised any of them can even speak when they leave those war zones. It would finish me off, that much I know!

How would you react if you found out she had a severe physical illness like cancer?

[JenniferNangel 137]

Bless his heart and yours!

Thank you so much that means so much to me

[njs051914 52]

I am really interested since I see the reaction by many members to PTSD in this case and it's completely different from the reaction to similar situations where the cause is other mental illnesses such as bipolar or BPD. Many more "kick them to the curb and get out of there" comments in those cases, but here there is much more sympathy to OP's wife's situation.

Edited October 19, 2016 by njs051914

[JenniferNangel 137]

I am really interested since I see the reaction by many members to PTSD in this case and it's completely different from the reaction to similar situations where the cause is other mental illnesses such as bipolar or BPD. Many more "kick them to the curb and get out of there" comments in those cases, but here there is much more sympathy to OP's wife's situation.

For me living with PTSD is the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life. I never asked for it or was born with it , it's strictly from trauma. Some days are so tough on me and I don't know how I get by but for the first time in my life I feel supported, I feel security from my husband. I see myself changing more because I have him in my life (even in my husband cr1 interview I started crying when the co asked how we met, he was my friend first and was always there for me)

I do feel for his wife and I may not be as severe as she is but I can relate to her , she served our country, risked her life in war and I really hope she finds a great support system because no veteran should have to go through that alone

[randrb 17]

I am really interested since I see the reaction by many members to PTSD in this case and it's completely different from the reaction to similar situations where the cause is other mental illnesses such as bipolar or BPD. Many more "kick them to the curb and get out of there" comments in those cases, but here there is much more sympathy to OP's wife's situation.

People who believe in 'throwing out' someone with a mental illness is just ignorant and cruel. While I do think there are some mental illnesses that are really hard to deal with, I think that with the right people around, someone with a mental illness can improve drastically. No one should advocate for leaving someone with one. I'm happy that the comments here have been mainly caring

[Dutchster 1,107]

To be brutally honest, whoever leaves his or hers wife/husband because of PTSD, bipolar. BPD etc is just pathetic. You signed to be together, in sickness and in health. Giving up because you can't control it or he/she can't without even the thought of counseling, I question your love towards him or her. You can't 'just leave', as husband or wife, you will try to help. You will try to get someone through this and fight it together. That's how marriage works (Unless he or she did a murder attempt on you ofc)

PTSD (and many other disorders) can be controlled with the right therapy and medicines, if needed. None should just run off and leave.

Edited October 19, 2016 by stephadams

[dawning 212]

I am really interested since I see the reaction by many members to PTSD in this case and it's completely different from the reaction to similar situations where the cause is other mental illnesses such as bipolar or BPD. Many more "kick them to the curb and get out of there" comments in those cases, but here there is much more sympathy to OP's wife's situation.

I was thinking the same thing. Recently there was a thread of someone who had brought a fiance on K-1, they had married and then divorced, in the OP's thinking because she had gone off her bipolar medication before coming to the US and didn't act like the person he had known before, when she was taking the medication. He wanted to remarry and bring her back (she had returned to her home country) and was asking what difficulties he might face with the visa. A great deal of the advice that he received on this forum was that he should stay away from, that people with bipolar are too difficult to live with. Pretty much the opposite of what people are saying on this thread about PTSD.

People may point out that in that case they were already divorced, and that she hadn't been honest with him about her need for medication prior to marriage/immigration. But the OP in THIS thread is in the same boat, based on what he's told us: He didn't see/wasn't told about the crazy behavior till after they got married, and from his point of view the relationship is so badly damaged he can't imagine going back to her. How does that make him not "a real man?'"

I'm wondering if commenters are downplaying what he experienced as abuse because they themselves or others with PTSD are not abusive, and so they don't think his wife is? I would imagine that abusive tendencies can co-exist with PTSD and maybe be influenced/increased by them? Does anyone out there know about that?

[Jon&Margz 132]

When 2 people make an agreement to share a life (in sickness and health, richer or poorer) ... it MUST be based on honesty. Each person decides to accept (or not) the challenges facing their relationship. But when a condition is hidden and never discussed -- it is unfair to expect the spouse to blindly accept the "Surprise!! I'm Bipolar - I hate you". Not everyone is equipped physically or emotionally to deal with the rollercoaster ride.

It starts with honesty and transparency.

PS - insert any condition (bipolar, PTSD, borderline disorder, sexual addiction, alcohol, drugs, ....)

Edited October 19, 2016 by Jon&Margz