Anyone dating/ planning to marry Jamaican man?

[blushblue2 1]

You're not waiting for him to mess up. You are taking time to really get to know him and be sure he is genuine and sincere. Big difference.

Learning patweh and how they use certain words and phrases eliminates any misconception/miscommunication.

You don't need to speak patweh. I rarely do. (except when my niece and nephew beg me to. I can't resist them and they think it is hilarious!)

The key is understanding it. Knowing what he means by certain words and phrases. Understanding what is being talked about around you. You don't need to depend solely on him to teach you. Google Patois/patweh dictionaries. Watch Jamaican videos.

ive found some helpful site and videos also he is always caught of guard when i just throw something out that he wouldn't expect me to know.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Oh yea. I learned about JLP vs PNP, JA geography, and definitely the music....our biggest common ground. I'm sure you will enjoy learning the culture and he will appreciate you even more for doing so. I wish you the best!

[blushblue2 1]

*he did mention the breeding/ love very early on*

*he seems slightly jealous whenever i mention going out for the weekend

Those things are actually good things. from a cultural standpoint. So two stars

really? you think the jealousy can be considered a good thing? he will call several times while im out then ask me the next day several times on what i did the night before, he says its because im beautiful and he knows im here getting hit on all the time *

[blushblue2 1]

Oh yea. I learned about JLP vs PNP, JA geography, and definitely the music....our biggest common ground. I'm sure you will enjoy learning the culture and he will appreciate you even more for doing so. I wish you the best!

music seems to be what brought us together lol he was "shocked" that I could keep up with him on the dance floor as that's what he does for a living ....

Edited October 19, 2016 by blushblue2

[LionessDeon 2,060]

All things in moderation. Crazy jealousy... no. Mild concern/jealousy....ok. Again, take it slow. See if it increases.

[Mellyboo 15]

Based on what you have mentioned so far he does not sound like a bad guy. Most Jamaican men that use women want you to pay for everything, they would not offer to pay for anything!! So i would look at that as a green flag! Let's be frank in all cultures you have good and bad its for us to take our time and learn these individuals as for who they are. He may have been through a lot of bad relationships in Jamaica that is why he may not want another Jamaican woman. There are plenty of other foreign countries with woman he could decide to be with if he wanted to but finds you very special. But take your time as everyone has stated and let everything work out its self.

[blushblue2 1]

Based on what you have mentioned so far he does not sound like a bad guy. Most Jamaican men that use women want you to pay for everything, they would not offer to pay for anything!! So i would look at that as a green flag! Let's be frank in all cultures you have good and bad its for us to take our time and learn these individuals as for who they are. He may have been through a lot of bad relationships in Jamaica that is why he may not want another Jamaican woman. There are plenty of other foreign countries with woman he could decide to be with if he wanted to but finds you very special. But take your time as everyone has stated and let everything work out its self.

his comment about the women in his culture just put a bad taste in my mouth, im thinking so does he only date women "foreigners" for their benefits to him? i just know as a black woman who has had my share of heartaches from black guys i would never downplay the entire black male population. maybe i took it to deep and tried to get him to give me more of an insight to what he meant but he didn't want to continue.

[Mellyboo 15]

I totally understand trust me especially about heartbreak but just keep an open mind and continue to take it slow. Its actually good you are taking trips to see him because you will have more quality time with him and get to know him better, likewise him getting to know you.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Yea don't over think everything. It's been 3 months. Take time, enjoy, and get to know him. Don't try to read something into everything he says.

Edited October 19, 2016 by LionessDeon

[Thegirl 225]

really? you think the jealousy can be considered a good thing? he will call several times while im out then ask me the next day several times on what i did the night before, he says its because im beautiful and he knows im here getting hit on all the time *

I mean from a "is he really into you or just wants a visa" point of view. Obviously the level of jealously that is okay for you is definitely up to you. I find that in general Jamaican men who are really interested in you can be jealous and protective so it suggests some genuine interest. So I just mean from a - is he triyng to fool you- point of view.

[Pinkrlion 2,723]

LOL, we dated for 5 years before he proposed. I understand patwah very well. He speaks in patwah and I respond in english.

I had the same expectation of a man in JA as I did a man here. My husband worked, had an apartment, he would rent a car when I visited (paid a friend to use his car). I did not pay for credits, but I did buy stuff for the apartment, like pots, pans, towels, comforter, air conditioner.

Jealousy is there, men holler all day long it is true sexual harrassment. That is where u have those open and honest conversations.

I met his mom, aunts, and godmother in our 2nd/3rd year of dating, it was the third degree. They love me though.

Edited October 19, 2016 by Pinkrlion

[angelbrown 195]

Blushblue2, I'm glad you came back to read the comments. Everyone offered great tips. Be realistic and also try to remain positive. The minute you allow negativity from inside or outside, you will begin to scrutinize everything. I think what LionessDeon said about learning the culture and language is important. As someone pointed out, not so much learning to speak but understanding. And know words are used differently. Once on earlier in our relationship, I was talking to my now husband and I told him I had a headache. He responded, "hush babe." I'm immediately offended thinking he was telling me to shut up (and my reaction was not pretty?) when really hush in JA is a term of endearment. He was telling me to relax.

I think you are right to have concerns but as I said before, treat it as you would any other relationship (maybe with a little more scrutiny). He may not have what or as much as you have, but he can be generous or giving with what he does have. Don't compare yourself to what others have done or will do. Just do what you will and also allow him to be a man (just as you would any other) and offer what he can. And then there's the misconception that all Jamaicans are poor... not true.

Take it slow and trust your gut but also allow yourself to trust what you're feeling. It could be the real deal. When I met my husband, my friends/family said I was crazy. They brought up McMillan and all the stories we hear about Jamaicans. I was nervous as heck too! When I went back to visit him after our initial visit, I was leery because I had heard so many bad things about JA and Jamaicans in general. He insisted I stay with him and not spend $$ on a hotel. I was so afraid he was going to lock me in a room and steal my $$ and passport (for real). He showed so much hospitality (picking me up from the airport, cooking for me, buying souvenirs for my mom & daughter, etc.). True he could've been trying to woo me but as we got to know each other and I met his family, I saw where he got his kindness from. My mom was an major opponent but after meeting him absolutely loves him now. Not to mention that our families love each other. I talk to his mom all the time, his mom talks to my mom, he talks to my daughter (usually thru whatsapp bc she's away at college), I talk to his cousins etc., have taken my friends to visit him and his family, some of my friends who have visited on a cruise or vacation he has met them and shown them hospitality. When we got married and my coworkers gave me a shower with a substantial amount of $$ as a gift, I tried to offer him half but he wouldn't take it, telling me to put it in my savings. I'm saying all that to say, your situation could very well be something real. Sure, some men are busters. Time will tell. And he can be the kindest person and still come over here and act a fool, but as I say my intentions are pure so that will be between him and God. We're waiting for his interview??, I can't wait to have him here! Sorry this was long but I just wanted to share some of my journey. I truly hope your guy is real and I wish you all the best!!!!

[Jawaree 717]

You will know eventually if he's worthy. take it nice & slow as told, all new relationships

are sweet & lovey dovey in the beginning, know his temperment, family friends & any

kids he may have. Some will chase a visa others love, that happens everywhere.

In any relations set your expectations of total honesty and respect also be sure to be

real friends from there you'll have a lasting relationship...So sis get your own experience

know some of the red flags & be careful about men critiquing other females to you. thats

never a good sign but ppl makes mistakes.

My wife was told when we were young all kinds of stereotyped stuff ( I was a GC holder when

we met via parents) Many of those ppl men diss them & not even marrying some,we have 3

lovely kids, we love madly, have each others back & both our families merged. We went

thru a rough patch & our saving grace was love strength & honesty, she had my back then

and we overcame.Our 1st born graduated high school and we are good. To breed you OP

was not meant to insult but that terminology is,,.... lets call it the vocabulary may need polishing

Best wishes to you

[blushblue2 1]

You will know eventually if he's worthy. take it nice & slow as told, all new relationships

are sweet & lovey dovey in the beginning, know his temperment, family friends & any

kids he may have. Some will chase a visa others love, that happens everywhere.

In any relations set your expectations of total honesty and respect also be sure to be

real friends from there you'll have a lasting relationship...So sis get your own experience

know some of the red flags & be careful about men critiquing other females to you. thats

never a good sign but ppl makes mistakes.

My wife was told when we were young all kinds of stereotyped stuff ( I was a GC holder when

we met via parents) Many of those ppl men diss them & not even marrying some,we have 3

lovely kids, we love madly, have each others back & both our families merged. We went

thru a rough patch & our saving grace was love strength & honesty, she had my back then

and we overcame.Our 1st born graduated high school and we are good. To breed you OP

was not meant to insult but that terminology is,,.... lets call it the vocabulary may need polishing

Best wishes to you

thank you its nice to hear from a guys perspective....

you guys here have probably talked me off the ledge here thank you! I think I was finally able to have get back in tune with our usual conversation yesterday.

you guys here have probably talked me off the ledge here thank you! I think I was finally able to have get back in tune with our usual conversation yesterday.

[Imani 105]

Take it very very VERY slow. He works at a resort. He meets women every single day. I have traveled to Jamaica 8 times. I sit on the beach in my lawn chair and watch the men work the foreigners. Now, I am not saying your beau is at all like this but please please be very careful. Do not be smitten with all their loving, sweet words and accent. VIsit him, stay with him, not always on a resort. Learn the cutlure. Learn patois/patweh. Meet his friends and family. Keep your eyes and ears open.

Did he really say "mi wan fi breed yuh"? lol Slow down yardie!

DWL ...

back on topic... as everyone says, just take it slow..