need help victim!

[sallywilson 0]

Hi everybody.

I just found this forum and want to ask some help. My husband is not a good person ..he is in depression or might have borderline personality disorder........he threats me and want to have physical relationship without my consent.

He also belittle and humiliates me and calls me names... he is very manpulative and threats me that i will be divorce you and remove you from usa. I just gt my c 3 months ago. I am working full time and all my salary go into joint account and he use that salary but i am not the partner in his joint account. he just lost his job 6 months ago. I am taking domestic violence counselling (9 sessions). I am working with a clinical phsychologist and she have just diagnosed that i am in depression....most importantly i am living with his family members and he dont want to separate from her parents...and his parents also enables the abusive behavious. i called some helplines in june 4 to 5 times and they are willing to help me out and write letter of support to uscis...

what proofs i have ...

good faith marriage:

1)emails before marriage..

his visit to my home country with his mother and family photographs of meetings and engagement....

skype calls and cell phone bills before marriage,,,

after marriage:

joint accounts only 6 months but with transactions)...

deposit slips mentioning that he deposits all my cheques,,

marriage pics his and my marriage function...

anniversary pics ...celebrated with alot of peoples...

wedding card...

joint health insurance

joint family car insrance...

no tax returns and a small credit card worth 500 and i am assigned as authorised user,,(he got 6 credit cards on his name and i had to apply for a car but i was not able to get it)

my friends office collegues attended marriage..

whats app message from my family and gift receipts...

marriage councelling we are still in it,,,

fertility test reports,,,,

doctor visits( went to same doctors)

proof of abuse...

threathening text messages ,,,,

have one audio recorded./...i told him i am recording it but he didnt care and abused me in that audio...

domestic violence councelling 12 sessions...

licensed clinical phsychologist 5 sessions ( she diagnosed i am in depression)

a police information i thought it is report but it just mentions that i fear my husband keeps all his salary and he throws water on me and i fear reaction and letting police know that i am under these circumstances so i may use this report later....

i informed and my friends notice unusual behavious of my inlaws with me and they know i am a victim of abuse...

deposit slips and money withdrawl and transfereed to husband family from my account...

i also called an instituition that helps trafficking victims and recorded and informed them about the issues i am suffereing...

time sheets..( i am always late at work never made on time because i am not able to sleep)

i am not yet divorce but he is planning beause he dont want to move from his parents house and want me to stay there and pay rent,,,,,and they support him when he use bad languages and consider it a part of normal relationship

he also asked me to write a letter that to keep him happy i will not do certain things and i will not talk with my parents etc...he signed that letter and made me signed that letter as well...

i just got green card 3 months before.,,,,,,,,,but now situation is out of control because i fear and have had enough tried everything to work on marriage but i dont think he will change and sex without consent is damaging my personality......

i dont know what are my chances of roc.....but i want to leave this situation... i dont want to file a police report because i dont want any ties and filing and court process will keep me connected from him....and i dont want help....please help me out.....and i dont want to go to domestic iolence shelter because i already have a job and somehow i will manage .... but i am still in love with that man and he cries some times ....i dont know .....

can any one tell me my chances of roc

[Cheezees 1,514]

i dont know what are my chances of roc.....but i want to leave this situation... i dont want to file a police report because i dont want any ties and filing and court process will keep me connected from him....and i dont want help....please help me out.....and i dont want to go to domestic iolence shelter because i already have a job and somehow i will manage .... but i am still in love with that man and he cries some times ....i dont know .....

This is VERY DISTURBING. Please check out the VAWA thread and ask for Sandra. You need to get out. Now. Please file a police report and get out ASAP.

[sallywilson 0]

This is VERY DISTURBING. Please check out the VAWA thread and ask for Sandra. You need to get out. Now. Please file a police report and get out ASAP.

thanks for reply....filing police report will open a new chapter,,,, i dont want anyone arrested he is jobless and report will be a disaster for him and his life would be ruuined... i think i would esily forget if i get separated with dignity.... thnks for advice though!

[Jawaree 718]

Call the 311 operator ask where to go ...shelter...It may not be comfy but get out of that slavery

You have your temp GC & work so stop giving him your paycheck, or having your pay deposit

in the joint account, dont you have a friend you can stay ? go open a new acct in your own

name with SS & ID get your documents and & new banking info to a safe place, start looking

to rent a room & start moving things slowly, then one Friday after pay you call the cops to remove

all your stuff if he bothers you call them back to report it ...You cannot stay with someone who

cuts you off from family

[Cheezees 1,514]

His life??? Are you kidding me? Someone who is raping you is NEVER EVER to be protected. You deserve more than that. He should not be able to do this to anyone else. There will be no dignity if and when he does this to another woman. Please reconsider your stance. Contact Sandra in the VAWA thread here: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/579084-vawa-part-7/page-56

[caliliving 606]

Unfortunately these men think they own us and hold it over our head every day, I will deport u back home you b@t h." It's awful and disgusting! This is a comment n story among people. It's scary tho bc u built a life here and u don't want to leave.u should see if u qualify for vawa and get out. Trust me, u r not alone. Be safe

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

OP already has a 2-year GC, there is no need for VAWA.

OP, move out, if necessary, to a shelter and file for divorce. Once the divorce is final, file a divorce waiver I-751.

I have no doubt that you have been abused but no need for abuse waiver I-751.

For divorce waiver I-751 you only need to prove bona fide marriage and the divorce itself while for abuse waiver I-751 you have to prove bona fide marriage AND abuse. No reason to make it harder on yourself by having to prove abuse to USCIS' satisfaction.

[NuZayetsPogodi 117]

OP, you need to go to a woman's shelter. They are amazing, amazing resources, and they can help support you until you get on your feet. It sounds like you can support yourself very soon, what with the fact that you're paying rent for that lazy pig in your life. They will help you and they will also protect you in case your despicable excuse for a human being, soon-to-be-EX-husband wants to come after you. You SHOULD cause a fuss! This is unacceptable. You may not believe all this now, but you've got to. GET. OUT. NOW!!!

[NikLR 13,227]

OP has a green card. VAWA isn't needed, just a ROC based on divorce. You can include the abuse if you choose, but a ROC based on divorce alone is generally easiest.

I agree that you need to leave and go to a women's shelter. Move all of your money to a new account if you can so he cannot have it. (Do not take what is not yours however, but you can ask for support when you divorce depending on the state you are in.) Gather all your evidence that you had a genuine relationship and leave. You do not have to stay in an abusive relationship. A person has no right to have sexual relations of any sort with someone else without their consent. Marriage is not consent. I highly suggest filing the divorce yourself since then you control the proceedings. The only people who don't generally tend to do this are LPR from the Philippines because then it's harder to remarry.

[Cheezees 1,514]

I missed that the OP had a GC so yes, VAWA is no longer applicable.

OP, please get out ASAP. Leave, file a police report, file for divorce, and file for the ROC with your evidence. Do not let him control you nor the divorce proceddings by having him file first. He will drag his feet and make the ROC very difficult for you. Again, grt out and stop giving him any consideration. He doesn't deserve anything from you.

[Boiler 45,651]

Have you thought of just going home.

[sallywilson 0]

thankyou for all your help guys,,,, removing conditions on divorce waiver is not a good point i think because my marriage timing is short....and why should,nt i apply for abuse waiver as i have alot of evidences.... i dont have any bills on my name...we live with in laws and they are never going to help me out in roc.... i just have a joint account for short period of time and thats it......but abuse has taen place i have audio....text messages in which he openly admits he is sorry for the beating ...... affidavits of friends and family wtc

thankyou for all your help guys,,,, removing conditions on divorce waiver is not a good point i think because my marriage timing is short....and why should,nt i apply for abuse waiver as i have alot of evidences.... i dont have any bills on my name...we live with in laws and they are never going to help me out in roc.... i just have a joint account for short period of time and thats it......but abuse has taen place i have audio....text messages in which he openly admits he is sorry for the beating ...... affidavits of friends and family etc...and my joint account shows withdrwl from his card...also sent money to his father through quickpay as a rent from last 3 months......

[Penguin_ie 5,994]

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