Keys to making your marriage work

[maore 0]

To keep it in a nutshell I would say the following points does it for me:

+ get married with someone you have common points with ( when I talk about common points I am talking about stuff you are both pationate about ) , for example Manchester united fans and liverpool it is a Big NO NO NO.

+ married in the US or rest of the world is all about communication ( are you afraid to talk about certain things to your love = forget about it and run away) , everything else come with good communication such as trust/reliance,etc... Many couples do not effectively communicate because basically they have no clue who they are with or are unable to adapt/understand the way the other person communicate (so they end up guessing everything the other person means)

+ Hard to say it but LOVE - I am not talking about the one shown in the movies but the one which is stopping you from chopping the head of your love one (compassion , mercy ,etc...) because basically we are not perfect

+ last but least intimacy, can you live more than 2-3 days without seeing/touching your love One ?

[LaGreenEyes 0]

That post by aitian about loving, feeding, and caring for your wife sounds similar to the relationship I have with my dog. And yes, I do expect him to submit to me.

Thank God my fiance doesn't expect that from me. That's what ya get for wanting to marry a gringa!

Amen Sister! Fellow Gringa!

But really, I guess the most important thing that I have learned is to always remember that your spouse isn't just someone that you decided that you could live with, they are the person that you cannot live without.

Edited April 4, 2007 by LaGreenEyes

[doc_cute 0]

i feel communication whether near or far distance is very important,

there have been lotssa misunderstandings without proper communication that i have seen though not yet with myself as we communicate more than required lol

moreso being very honest to each other in a way people do or not we do like we eve nshare our e mail ids n passwords so much so that we can reply in each others mailes too ,

moreso i feel the female is very emotional she wholly belives more in emotional love , she really feels incomplete without it , she needs to be pampered and also she wants time for herself ,

care for each other is very important n being supportive to each other in all ups n downs is also a key factor

[homesick_american 1]

With so many marriages failing here in the US. What are some of the key things that you VJ members think that will keep your marriage or future marriage from falling apart.

KSU1

Well...with my marriage on its last legs, I can issue a few words of advice.

Ladies...don't marry a mama's boy.

Everyone...if your SO is from a psycho family, i.e. the mother is a passive aggressive cow still bitter about a 25 year-old divorce, the sister is a narcissistic, self-absorbed immature twit pushing 40, and the dad isn't in the picture....RUN. RUN FAR AWAY.

I personally will be steering clear of men who have had ongoing problems with depression/anxiety. No offense, but it's way more than I ever want to deal with again.

[Cdnwmn 0]

With so many marriages failing here in the US. What are some of the key things that you VJ members think that will keep your marriage or future marriage from falling apart.

KSU1

Well...with my marriage on its last legs, I can issue a few words of advice.

Ladies...don't marry a mama's boy.

Everyone...if your SO is from a psycho family, i.e. the mother is a passive aggressive cow still bitter about a 25 year-old divorce, the sister is a narcissistic, self-absorbed immature twit pushing 40, and the dad isn't in the picture....RUN. RUN FAR AWAY.

I personally will be steering clear of men who have had ongoing problems with depression/anxiety. No offense, but it's way more than I ever want to deal with again.

You are so right about the mama's boy. I am married to a 57 year old mama's boy and this is part of the reason of my upcoming return to Canada to live permanently. That, in addition to the family members (3 of who are in professional positions) that feel it's ok to have a big time drug dealer in their as well as your home to keep a 23 year old druggie niece/granddaughter happy. And also make sure your future spouse will not be ragging on you because you are unable to secure a full time job. Can you tell I'm bitter?

[homesick_american 1]

You are so right about the mama's boy. I am married to a 57 year old mama's boy and this is part of the reason of my upcoming return to Canada to live permanently. That, in addition to the family members (3 of who are in professional positions) that feel it's ok to have a big time drug dealer in their as well as your home to keep a 23 year old druggie niece/granddaughter happy. And also make sure your future spouse will not be ragging on you because you are unable to secure a full time job. Can you tell I'm bitter?

There aren't any druggies in my husband's family (that I'm aware of) and I've never had trouble finding work, but I know what you mean. If the family is screwed up, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[djcess 0]

damn right!!!

[Leney 0]

Marry your best friend.

Marry because you genuinely love each other and really want to spend the rest of your life together.

Marry someone with whom you really enjoy spending time, and with whom you can have a great laugh.

Have things in common.

Do things together.

Spend at least an hour in day, laying in bed together, awake, talking, tickling, laughing, joking - make it your time together.

Talk.

Listen.

Appreciate.

Give from the heart, and unconditionally - love, attention, praise, commitment, faithfulness, truthfulness.

Trust.

Hug and kiss each other for absolutely no reason.

[homesick_american 1]

Really the best words of advice I can give someone is that 50% of marriages end in divorce, so know what you're getting into from the get-go, realize that marriage is a LOT of hard work, and also realize that you may be marrying an immature mama's boy who isn't willing to do his fair share of that hard work.

[RosemarieL 0]

Don't get too set into a routine. Make time for surprises and for exploring new activities and hobbies. Make sure to keep a little adventure in your marriage to keep it fresh.

[Jashley820 0]

Marry your best friend.

Marry because you genuinely love each other and really want to spend the rest of your life together.

Marry someone with whom you really enjoy spending time, and with whom you can have a great laugh.

Have things in common.

Do things together.

Spend at least an hour in day, laying in bed together, awake, talking, tickling, laughing, joking - make it your time together.

Talk.

Listen.

Appreciate.

Give from the heart, and unconditionally - love, attention, praise, commitment, faithfulness, truthfulness.

Trust.

Hug and kiss each other for absolutely no reason.

Love this!! I totally agree

[Emancipation 2]

Marry your best friend.

Marry because you genuinely love each other and really want to spend the rest of your life together.

Marry someone with whom you really enjoy spending time, and with whom you can have a great laugh.

Have things in common.

Do things together.

Spend at least an hour in day, laying in bed together, awake, talking, tickling, laughing, joking - make it your time together.

Talk.

Listen.

Appreciate.

Give from the heart, and unconditionally - love, attention, praise, commitment, faithfulness, truthfulness.

Trust.

Hug and kiss each other for absolutely no reason.

This is the only one i can't hope to actually accomplish.. I fall asleep 5-10 min after getting my head on the pillow.. My hubby laughs sometimes as I'm asleep by the time he's finished brushing his teeth..

[featherB 1]

Marry your best friend.

Marry because you genuinely love each other and really want to spend the rest of your life together.

Marry someone with whom you really enjoy spending time, and with whom you can have a great laugh.

Have things in common.

Do things together.

Spend at least an hour in day, laying in bed together, awake, talking, tickling, laughing, joking - make it your time together.

Talk.

Listen.

Appreciate.

Give from the heart, and unconditionally - love, attention, praise, commitment, faithfulness, truthfulness.

Trust.

Hug and kiss each other for absolutely no reason.

This is the only one i can't hope to actually accomplish.. I fall asleep 5-10 min after getting my head on the pillow.. My hubby laughs sometimes as I'm asleep by the time he's finished brushing his teeth..

That one made me think 'in my dreams...' too! In my case it's my husband who will be fast asleep within seconds of putting his head on the pillow - guaranteed to be comatose by the time I've switched off the lights and brushed my teeth, every time! I love the list though, Leney...

[Leney 0]

Marry your best friend.

Marry because you genuinely love each other and really want to spend the rest of your life together.

Marry someone with whom you really enjoy spending time, and with whom you can have a great laugh.

Have things in common.

Do things together.

Spend at least an hour in day, laying in bed together, awake, talking, tickling, laughing, joking - make it your time together.

Talk.

Listen.

Appreciate.

Give from the heart, and unconditionally - love, attention, praise, commitment, faithfulness, truthfulness.

Trust.

Hug and kiss each other for absolutely no reason.

This is the only one i can't hope to actually accomplish.. I fall asleep 5-10 min after getting my head on the pillow.. My hubby laughs sometimes as I'm asleep by the time he's finished brushing his teeth..

Well it doesn't have to be at bed time, could be first thing in the morning, or when you get home from work or before or after dinner, but for us, our bedroom is our only quiet place, and haven from 3 rowdy little boys (6,5,&2)

err I have one more -

Marry someone who you think will make a good looking old man/woman lol and who you can really see yourself puttering around the house with, asking for viagra with, and in our case sitting on the front porch and shaking our canes angrily at kids walking through our garden ;P

Edited July 10, 2007 by Leney

[rebeccajo 14]

err I have one more -

Marry someone who you think will make a good looking old man/woman lol and who you can really see yourself puttering around the house with, asking for viagra with, and in our case sitting on the front porch and shaking our canes angrily at kids walking through our garden ;P

You know, that's so true. But not just from the "good looking" part.

I put up with a lot in my first marriage. Lots. As we were getting older, I found myself looking at him (usually at the dinner table) and catch myself thinking "my God, am I gonna spend my old age looking at that sourpuss? Why?"

It was a recurring thought that helped seal the decision to divorce.