Keys to making your marriage work

[Otto 83]

With so many marriages failing here in the US. What are some of the key things that you VJ members think that will keep your marriage or future marriage from falling apart.

KSU1

We have the same core values, beliefs, goals, and interests, and we trust each other implicitly. But the main thing is that we plan to obey the instructions God laid out for husbands and wives in the Bible.

Ephesians 5:22-33, KJV

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Good Grief...

[DaveandFleur 0]

With so many marriages failing here in the US. What are some of the key things that you VJ members think that will keep your marriage or future marriage from falling apart.

KSU1

We have the same core values, beliefs, goals, and interests, and we trust each other implicitly. But the main thing is that we plan to obey the instructions God laid out for husbands and wives in the Bible.

Ephesians 5:22-33, KJV

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Good Grief...

LOL!!!! I need a translater

Edited March 28, 2007 by DaveandFleur

[DaveandFleur 0]

With so many marriages failing here in the US. What are some of the key things that you VJ members think that will keep your marriage or future marriage from falling apart.

KSU1

We have the same core values, beliefs, goals, and interests, and we trust each other implicitly. But the main thing is that we plan to obey the instructions God laid out for husbands and wives in the Bible.

Ephesians 5:22-33, KJV

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

You know...I left the forum and went to bed....shut out the lights and thought to myself...I don't understand how I can tell my wife this.....I came back on here to post this...I am totally lost. I want my marriage to last and me not understanding this, I don't want to be divorced.

[JoeMama 0]

You know...I left the forum and went to bed....shut out the lights and thought to myself...I don't understand how I can tell my wife this.....I came back on here to post this...I am totally lost. I want my marriage to last and me not understanding this, I don't want to be divorced.

I can't tell if you were serious about this or not. I'm guessing maybe you're joking? Maybe not. With your wife being from the Philippines, she's probably a devout Catholic. If she is, then odds are that she already knows that huge list someone had posted out of the Bible.

[ivona 0]

Without wanting to raise a fuss, this is a better bible for relationships me thinks....

really, really good book- shows you the difference in the way of thinking and interpreting things between men and women....

KEY: communication, communication, communication

Edited March 28, 2007 by ivona

[aitian 0]

My pastor put the Ephesians 5:22-33 in a simple set of rules to follow.

Man

1. Be the leader of the family

2. Love your wife

3. Feed your wife

4. Care for your wife

5. Leave parents house and start your own house with your wife

Wife

1. Submit to your husband

2. Respect your husband

I think these rules go a long way to a successful marriage even if you are a Christian.

[heishe 2]

I'm definitely more a fan of the married couple as equal partners, rather than that "obey and submit" #######.

[Cécy 44]

The #1 is communicating. But you have to be careful about the time you choose to discuss important issues: turn the TV off, make sure no one is too tired or stressed by work or the consequences would be worse than talking.

Tell your wife/husband what you appreciate in what they do. It's important to focus on the positive and the good things they bring into your life.

Compromise. Compromise is a key but it needs to be two ways. If one feels that he/she gives up too much it will create tensions.

Share household chores: you cook he washes the dishes, you put the laundry in the washing machine, he folds it, etc.

If you plan to have children talk before hand on how you want to educate them, it's especially important when the parents have two different cultures.

Take time for yourself and time together and from time to time treat the two of you to something special.

Trust and Honesty should be a given.

[lizzie009 0]

doing silly things together would create a big impact in one's life swear so hard to forget than the good ones...hehhehe!!!

[featherB 1]

Uh, what Heishe said.

[Melyssa 0]

I had a buddy that married a gal (from america) that he met on the internet and they agreed on one rule before they got married.

NO INTERNET

I about blew my cork on him. I said "why are you marrying her, you both don't trust each other". Trust your spouse. If you do not trust one another, hang it up.

I may have a bad taste in my mouth. I am glad I found my trustworthy wife outside the US. I gave up on this materialistic, competitive country. My spouse appreciates the little things in life.

Make sure that you are happy with who you are. Two people that are happy and come together to become one, is what works.

One person that is down on themselves brings the relationship down, and the happy person gets sick of you.

Keep a smile on your face and I wish you all the most that happiness can bring you and your spouse.

Wow, no Internet??? That's crazy. Especially in the day of emails and online forms and such and that you can find so much of the information you need online! Besides, it's how I keep in touch with my family when I'm away. I don't think I'd marry someone who would say no Internet is allowed!

[aitian 0]

equal partners will never work. one of the main reasons for divorce today. both partners go into a marriage without knowing who has the final word or say in the family. it ends arguments or disagreements quickly. but a good leader of a family is not a tyrant but a compassionate person who does compromise even though he knows he does have the final say.

[Caladan 19]

Trust, communication, and knowing when to pick your battles.

And this should be moved to off-topic.

[Together4ever 1]

With so many marriages failing here in the US. What are some of the key things that you VJ members think that will keep your marriage or future marriage from falling apart.

KSU1

Zoloft

[Melyssa 0]

I'm definitely more a fan of the married couple as equal partners, rather than that "obey and submit" #######.

It's not #######, and husband and wife ARE equal in a sense and not in another. If they are truly equal in every sense then men would be able to give birth. Biblical submission doesn't mean obey whatever your husband says. A lot of people seem to read the part about submission and ignore the part about husbands loving their wives, and automatically write it off without even thinking about what it actually says, but what wife wouldn't want to submit to a husband who truly loved her as Christ loves His people - (COMPLETELY SELFLESSLY?) The passage doesn't give husbands the right to act like they are the king and the wife must do whatever they say as if she is a slave. It is not saying that if he tells me to do something bad I must obey and be a doormat, that's garbage. It is saying that if he wants me to do something that is not sinful then I should obey it, and the idea again is NOT that he can be condescending or domineering in any way.

A lot of marriage fall apart BECAUSE the standard God Himself (who designed marriage in the first place) laid out for husbands and wives is NOT followed. No two people are going to agree 100% all the time and yes, in a good marriage, discussion will take place, and ALSO a truly loving husband will consider his wife's opinion instead of automatically assuming that he is the one that knows everything and how things should be done. So in issues like that where agreement cannot come and yet neither answer is sinful, God gives an answer: the husband, who has the God ordained role as head of the home, has the final say. It's not as ridiculous as some of you may think.

Edited March 28, 2007 by melytha