Keys to making your marriage work

[orimai 2]

God created marriage and we strongly believe that focusing on Him together will strengthen and keep your marriage healthy and strong until death do you part Only He can carry us through the tough times and give us the strength to overcome obstacles that would crush those without Him.

Orimai

[Nancy2015 2]

People, it's so easy. The secret for a successful marriage is the ability to put up with someone else's sh!it for the rest of your life jk jk

I agree with this one!

The key to a good marriage is finding the right person. If my husband ever wanted me to submit to him or if he wanted to be a leader of the family, I wouldn't have married him. It wouldn't work for me.

[together2love 0]

For us:

- honest communication

- sense of humour

- never going to sleep angry... don't let problems build up!!! (So many of my friends have ended romantic relationships on bad terms because of this)

- compromise on different issues such as housekeeping, budgeting, etc.

- physical touch... a healthy dose of hugs and kisses each day works for us

- doing activities together, and trying new things together

- sharing core values/beliefs

Well said!!

[orimai 2]

People, it's so easy. The secret for a successful marriage is the ability to put up with someone else's sh!it for the rest of your life jk jk

I agree with this one!

The key to a good marriage is finding the right person. If my husband ever wanted me to submit to him or if he wanted to be a leader of the family, I wouldn't have married him. It wouldn't work for me.

Well I did not mean to suggest focus on Him (being husband), I meant focus on our relationship with God. But if anyone is seeking a secular viewpoint this is my thought

Be selfless and not selfish. Marriage is not about YOU, it's about your spouse. Put them before yourself and I believe that is a great foundation that many other beautiful things flow from

Orimai

[BelwinMills 0]

Understanding the 4 things that can tear a marriage apart

1. Money

2. Religion

3. In Laws

4. how many children you both want.

[nate&nid 0]

I would have to add that both of you need to be very forgiving, very flexible, and very adaptable ... years from now neither you nor your spouse will look nor act like the same hot, sexy, wonderful person that you are madly in love with right now. Life changes us. You both have to make the effort to change and grow together, or you will grow apart - that's what kills marriages.

[Kristi 0]

Why should Christians be the only ones to acknowledge those things?? Shouldn't we all be more understanding?

It would also be nice if the Christians would acknowledge a couple of things: a) there's billions of people in the world who aren't Christian who manage to have lasting marriages and b ) the Christian conception of marriage is very easily abused, and when the response to 'why does my husband drink and beat me' is 'you're not submissive enough', or 'why haven't you left him, he hurts you' is 'well, I haven't had a job in 20 years and I'd be bankrupt', the marriage is not a success just because the couple hasn't divorced.

[Kristi 0]

Something I haven't seen on here is CULTURE, which was a huge obsticle for my husband and I when we first met.... But we both had to learn to respect (not necessarily accept) each of our cultural values... Any one else run into this issue? Given it is more with his dad-traditional Mexican and an independent gringa who didn't have a father... We worked out the kinks though and have both became more accepting and understanding

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I totally agree with so many of the things already posted here. We all love one another, so that's a given, but namely *communication* and LOTS of it, *honesty* (absolutely IMPERATIVE to Craig & I and most couples I would imagine), trust, understanding, and most definitely compromise. As part of couple, things have to be compromised or nothing will work.

I also SO agree with m&n when they said "inside jokes" or something of that nature....little things just between the two of you, that only you know what they mean...that makes things so special!

Lastly, to me, patience, patience and MORE PATIENCE! I might not like that he does this and he might not like that I do that....but we learn not to sweat the small stuff or bicker about it...it's just not worth it. Of course things are going to be different from when you were single...so don't get TOO mad at him for leaving his socks laying there *every* night! M.

[Caladan 19]

Why should Christians be the only ones to acknowledge those things?? Shouldn't we all be more understanding?

It would also be nice if the Christians would acknowledge a couple of things: a) there's billions of people in the world who aren't Christian who manage to have lasting marriages and b ) the Christian conception of marriage is very easily abused, and when the response to 'why does my husband drink and beat me' is 'you're not submissive enough', or 'why haven't you left him, he hurts you' is 'well, I haven't had a job in 20 years and I'd be bankrupt', the marriage is not a success just because the couple hasn't divorced.

Because there's several Christians in this thread insisting that their way is the ONLY way to have a lasting marriage. And that anyone who doesn't is a crazed feminist who destroys homes, or something. Everyone else seems to be acknowledging there's more than one way to have a happy marriage.

Oddly, the people I know with the shortest first marriages tend to be Christians who married too young (19 or 20, while still in college) to avoid having pre-marital sex; usually the marriage is over by 25 or 26, usually with no kdis.

[Carlawarla 1]

Sorry guys for the capitals below...but I cut and pasted this from my wedding program! I don't know who wrote it however, but Gene and I picked it out for the back page (and it will be read at the wedding) of our program. I think it speaks volumes.

Carla

ART OF MARRIAGE

A GOOD MARRIAGE MUST BE CREATED.

IN THE ART OF MARRIAGE THE LITTLE THINGS ARE THE BIG THINGS;

IT IS NEVER BEING TOO OLD TO HOLD HANDS.

IT IS REMEMBERING TO SAY “I LOVE YOU,” AT LEAST ONCE A DAY.

IT IS NEVER GOING TO SLEEP ANGRY.

IT IS HAVING A MUTUAL SENSE OF VALUES AND COMMON OBJECTIVES;

IT IS FORMING A CIRCLE OF LOVE THAT GATHERS IN THE WHOLE FAMILY.

IT IS SPEAKING OF APPRECIATION, AND DEMONSTRATING GRATITUDE IN THOUGHTFUL WAYS.

IT IS HAVING THE CAPACITY TO FORGIVE AND FORGET.

IT IS GIVING EACH OTHER ATMOSPHERE IN WHICH EACH CAN GROW.

IT IS FINDING ROOM FOR THE THINGS OF THE SPIRIT.

IT IS A COMMON SEARCH FOR THE GOOD AND THE BEAUTIFUL.

IT IS NOT ONLY MARRYING THE RIGHT PARTNER, IT IS

BEING THE RIGHT PARTNER.

[tmma 467]

Sorry guys for the capitals below...but I cut and pasted this from my wedding program! I don't know who wrote it however, but Gene and I picked it out for the back page (and it will be read at the wedding) of our program. I think it speaks volumes.

Carla

ART OF MARRIAGE

A GOOD MARRIAGE MUST BE CREATED.

IN THE ART OF MARRIAGE THE LITTLE THINGS ARE THE BIG THINGS;

IT IS NEVER BEING TOO OLD TO HOLD HANDS.

IT IS REMEMBERING TO SAY “I LOVE YOU,” AT LEAST ONCE A DAY.

IT IS NEVER GOING TO SLEEP ANGRY.

IT IS HAVING A MUTUAL SENSE OF VALUES AND COMMON OBJECTIVES;

IT IS FORMING A CIRCLE OF LOVE THAT GATHERS IN THE WHOLE FAMILY.

IT IS SPEAKING OF APPRECIATION, AND DEMONSTRATING GRATITUDE IN THOUGHTFUL WAYS.

IT IS HAVING THE CAPACITY TO FORGIVE AND FORGET.

IT IS GIVING EACH OTHER ATMOSPHERE IN WHICH EACH CAN GROW.

IT IS FINDING ROOM FOR THE THINGS OF THE SPIRIT.

IT IS A COMMON SEARCH FOR THE GOOD AND THE BEAUTIFUL.

IT IS NOT ONLY MARRYING THE RIGHT PARTNER, IT IS

BEING THE RIGHT PARTNER.

Hope you don't mind-I've just saved it for our official programme too

Thanks for posting this!

[miranda 0]

I know for sure that we have learned how to communicate very well. That is the only thing I am grateful for when it comes to this long distance relationship. I have never had a communication level such as this one in any of my past relationships. I think it will play a big part of our marriage being successful.

I completely agree. I don't think anyone is better at communicating than a couple who has had a long distance relationship. It's not like you can just be with that person without talking. Being with my husband now and not having to talk all the time is something I cherish, but I've made the comment in the past that I don't want to lose our communication just because we're in the same country now.

[miranda 0]

equal partners will never work. one of the main reasons for divorce today. both partners go into a marriage without knowing who has the final word or say in the family. it ends arguments or disagreements quickly. but a good leader of a family is not a tyrant but a compassionate person who does compromise even though he knows he does have the final say.

I think that's a matter of opinion. My husband and I work on it and work on it until a satisfactory compromise is met.

[Dr_LHA 3]

Oddly, the people I know with the shortest first marriages tend to be Christians who married too young (19 or 20, while still in college) to avoid having pre-marital sex; usually the marriage is over by 25 or 26, usually with no kdis.

Too true, only in the cases of some of my college friends who went this route, there were kids by the time the marriage imploded. Sad really.