Speaking with your African family???

[Zee Bee 61]

My situation is a little different because I was brought up speaking one of the local languages in Ghana. Mind you, it is not perfect. Luckily for me my fiance's family speaks a dialect of my language. His siblings and parents speak English fluently but he has told me that his mom will resort to speaking the local language which she is more comfortable with. His stepmom does not speak any English but once again, I can speak the language.

One of the things that I have to be aware of is the pace of my talking. When we started dating I had to keep repeating myself because I did not realize that he couldn't get what I was saying but as the months passed he got used to it and now he understands me perfectly. When I talk to his friends or siblings I have to be aware of my pace so that they understand me.

[Divine Mercy 0]

I wanted to know everyone's experiences with talking with their African family on the phone? My hubby was born and raised in Nigeria. I find it difficult talking to my new family. I feel they don't understand me at times and I don't know what to say at times. Please share your experiences to help a sista out!

I don't think she dislikes you (although I would probably be thinking the same thing), that's just how Nigerians seem to be. Very polite, grateful, generous, sweet people but not overly talkative. When we don't like someone, we are generally polite but cold. Nigerians don't seem to follow the same social customs in that regard. The more time you spend with her, the more she will open up to you. Just continue to love her son and she will love you back for him.

My husband's parents are gone so I haven't had the pleasure of talking to the wonderful people that raised such an amazing person. I don't have a difficult time talking to many of his relatives because a lot of them have been here or England and they "get" me. For those who haven't been out of Nigeria it's more difficult. The guy who married us.. I didn't understand a word he said. Most of the pictures are of me with a face that screams "HUH?" I wanted to ask my husband to repeat the vows to me so I could say them but it didn't seem appropriate lol. I kept asking him to repeat himself, he seemed to get annoyed. For the most part I look at my husband with a puzzled look and hope he understands that I am looking to him for a translation. He usually doesn't pick up on my look and I have to repeatedly say, "excuse me?, can you repeat that?, I'm sorry I don't understand" usually to the frustration of the speaker.

What I found to be most difficult in the beginning was when I would be there and everyone was speaking Yoruba. I'm used to it now, I just zone out until they call my attention to something.

When we first met (online) and started talking on the phone I had NO idea what he was saying. He clearly didn't understand me either. On my first trip there I wanted him to be back online or to use a notepad so bad so I could understand him. It's not just the accent, it's the way they phrase sentences too. Now that I better understand him, it's easier to understand those around him (but not totally). I won't profess to always understand him but I'm not shy about it anymore. Now I say, "WHAT?" or "Lanre, can you try that again in English?" He says "no, I'll tell you in spanish" lol.

In time, we'll probably stop hearing the accents all together (I hope not though, I love the way he sounds!!)

Zeenusah is right .. speaking slower and trying to annunciate your words are VERY helpful.