Question for the Europeans: why choose the US over Europe?

[bcking 3,157]

Living in NYC nearly killed me. It's not even just the money, it's the entire mentality and value system of the city. I think for more sensitive people who value things besides work and going to trendy bars/resturants, NYC is a kind of slow suicide. That's why a lot of people get out and never go back.

I still have friends who live there....most of them are workaholics and really into their careers. None of them have a family or value being near their family that much. It's all about your priorities....for some people, the NYC life works. I don't pretend to understand them, all I know is that I'm so much happier not being there anymore!

My sister (though she currently lives in Frankfurt) will always return to NYC and will never live anywhere else in the USA. The city life is for her. She is up at 11 am and asleep at 3 or 4 am. She's an opera singer. She constantly goes to the hot new restaurants (usually at lunch time because apparently you get a better deal).

I basically just worked, made little money (compared to what I was spending) and the only positive was it was the easiest flight I could hope for to visit my wife in England (So many red eye flight options on a Friday night!).

That being said, I do know a few people who live in the city proper and are also family people. Most of them have family money though.

[millefleur 5,047]

My sister (though she currently lives in Frankfurt) will always return to NYC and will never live anywhere else in the USA. The city life is for her. She is up at 11 am and asleep at 3 or 4 am. She's an opera singer. She constantly goes to the hot new restaurants (usually at lunch time because apparently you get a better deal).

I basically just worked, made little money (compared to what I was spending) and the only positive was it was the easiest flight I could hope for to visit my wife in England (So many red eye flight options on a Friday night!).

That being said, I do know a few people who live in the city proper and are also family people. Most of them have family money though.

Yes, exactly. That's basically the key thing about NYC life. I know people from NYC/rich areas of NJ who are rather delightful people. They also happen to be rolling it OR they have hook ups from their family members who provide them with a cheap/free apartment, etc. Good for them! NYC is probably an awesome place to call home if you don't have money worries. But if you're in a different income bracket from them, you have a very, very different lifestyle.

[RodDetroit 118]

Hello,

I am from Italy, my husband is the US citizen. Everyone would ask me why the heck we decided to move in the USA and not in Italy...well, for certain circumstances it is easier for me to be in the US that for him being in Italy.

But essentially, it is really hard to create a future in Italy.

I am making more money, with almost no career in my life, than my sister does working for the same company for almost 10 years.

I miss my family and food so much! And sometimes I miss walking everywhere, for grocery shopping, for just taking a walk downtown.

Lifestyle is definitely different, but at the moment we have a hope of a future in the USA rather than in Italy.

But, never say never!

LOL I also live in the suburbs of detroit and i feel the same way!

[Dutchster 1,107]

I think I'm one of the fewer who don't miss their home countries or family much, lol.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I think I'm one of the fewer who don't miss their home countries or family much, lol.

Nah, it is normal. My husband likes it in America too. I think it is the guns and the pick up trucks that does it for him personally.

[bcking 3,157]

Nah, it is normal. My husband likes it in America too. I think it is the guns and the pick up trucks that does it for him personally.

I wonder if men from abroad tend to like it more in America than women? It would be hard to generalize though.

My wife is prepared and willing to tolerate it, but I know she will miss home and we may very well go back. She is freaked out because of the guns, huge cars, lack of real rules on the road (She doesn't get how people just travel at any speed in any lane, which for an American is normal but for a European seems crazy) etc... Combine that with being far away from family and we'll see what happens.

[ceisenbruch 53]

Nah, it is normal. My husband likes it in America too. I think it is the guns and the pick up trucks that does it for him personally.

you know, this is what mine's excited for too; which is amusing since they're like the #1 Make Fun of Americans topics in Europe.

Funny about the roads, because the road system in the UK is absolutely terrifying. We did a lot of driving when I was there and I honestly don't understand how anyone survives. Then again I've never driven in the Midwest/East Coast so maybe it's the same out there.

[bcking 3,157]

you know, this is what mine's excited for too; which is amusing since they're like the #1 Make Fun of Americans topics in Europe.

Funny about the roads, because the road system in the UK is absolutely terrifying. We did a lot of driving when I was there and I honestly don't understand how anyone survives. Then again I've never driven in the Midwest/East Coast so maybe it's the same out there.

I've never actually been in the drivers seat (I can't drive stick...eek) but I've been the passenger a ton in England. I think once you learn the rules it makes sense (more sense IMO compared to what we have in the US). There are a lot of rules/laws in the US that are just sort of "Oh well you just do whatever you like". I mean even the concept of a stop sign, to my wife, is crazy. You just wait until it's your turn? What about when it's someone's turn but there is a person walking, then after that is automatically their turn next? What if a person is turning so someone else could go straight while that person turns, can they sneak ahead? We are all about "liberty" in America and I think it's reflected in our driving style.

Round abouts, while strange to Americans (My family coming to our wedding in the countryside was quite hilarious) actually make sense to me. With the exception of a few of the crazier ones (The famous one in Swindon I think? Somewhere near there). Each roundabout has very clear signs about what lane is going well. In the US a lot of times we just paint it on the ground which is a horrible idea because then the paint disappears and it takes months to get redone. I can't even keep track of the number of roads in my area that have arrows on the ground that end up being wrong when you get to the intersection (The ground says you can turn left in the second lane, but when you get to the light you can't).

Then there are the motorways where, with the exception of a few crazy people, the population generally adheres to the "Only go in the fast lane if you are passing" rule, and people don't tend to pass you in the slow lane. People in the US just don't seem to get how much more dangerous it is passing people on the right (UK's left) since it's on the opposite side of the driver and a bigger blind spot.

Now if you are just talking about driving near London all bets are off. People are crazy in London/Berkshire areas. Once you get out though it's a lovely experience. The southwest is great driving. Don't know much about the North.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I wonder if men from abroad tend to like it more in America than women? It would be hard to generalize though.

My wife is prepared and willing to tolerate it, but I know she will miss home and we may very well go back. She is freaked out because of the guns, huge cars, lack of real rules on the road (She doesn't get how people just travel at any speed in any lane, which for an American is normal but for a European seems crazy) etc... Combine that with being far away from family and we'll see what happens.

With a few years of watching it on the forums and IRL (I'm the child of a foreign man too), I've noticed that European men tend to be the better adjustors than women. I don't know if that is a global thing or not. My husband thinks it is because women as a whole tend to be more attached to their families, but I think that is pretty variable.

I haven't noticed any difference between the way people drive in either place. My husband insisted that Americans follow closer, but last time we were in Denmark, I thought that they were following too closely! The highway speed thing doesn't really happen where we live. The speed limit is 75, so people in the right lane are usually going 75 or below and the left lane is for those passing or going 80+.

The only thing I'd agree with my relatives on is that our undivided rural highways in which people go straight at each other at 60-65 are kind of scary.

[ceisenbruch 53]

I've never actually been in the drivers seat (I can't drive stick...eek) but I've been the passenger a ton in England. I think once you learn the rules it makes sense (more sense IMO compared to what we have in the US). There are a lot of rules/laws in the US that are just sort of "Oh well you just do whatever you like". I mean even the concept of a stop sign, to my wife, is crazy. You just wait until it's your turn? What about when it's someone's turn but there is a person walking, then after that is automatically their turn next? What if a person is turning so someone else could go straight while that person turns, can they sneak ahead? We are all about "liberty" in America and I think it's reflected in our driving style.

Round abouts, while strange to Americans (My family coming to our wedding in the countryside was quite hilarious) actually make sense to me. With the exception of a few of the crazier ones (The famous one in Swindon I think? Somewhere near there). Each roundabout has very clear signs about what lane is going well. In the US a lot of times we just paint it on the ground which is a horrible idea because then the paint disappears and it takes months to get redone. I can't even keep track of the number of roads in my area that have arrows on the ground that end up being wrong when you get to the intersection (The ground says you can turn left in the second lane, but when you get to the light you can't).

Then there are the motorways where, with the exception of a few crazy people, the population generally adheres to the "Only go in the fast lane if you are passing" rule, and people don't tend to pass you in the slow lane. People in the US just don't seem to get how much more dangerous it is passing people on the right (UK's left) since it's on the opposite side of the driver and a bigger blind spot.

Now if you are just talking about driving near London all bets are off. People are crazy in London/Berkshire areas. Once you get out though it's a lovely experience. The southwest is great driving. Don't know much about the North.

Yup, he lives in Hertfordshire and we took trips to Cheddar Gorge and Portsmouth, the craziest parts were the single lane roads through like farms and whatnot that were still major highways??? Like literally the road to Bath from London turns into a windy one lane road???

In CA I'm pretty sure it's illegal to undertake, you can get a ticket at least. But the "passing" lane will always just be the "fast" lane for us. Too much traffic, we'll always be passing He's also super excited to be able to turn right on red lights.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I've never actually been in the drivers seat (I can't drive stick...eek) but I've been the passenger a ton in England. I think once you learn the rules it makes sense (more sense IMO compared to what we have in the US). There are a lot of rules/laws in the US that are just sort of "Oh well you just do whatever you like". I mean even the concept of a stop sign, to my wife, is crazy. You just wait until it's your turn? What about when it's someone's turn but there is a person walking, then after that is automatically their turn next? What if a person is turning so someone else could go straight while that person turns, can they sneak ahead? We are all about "liberty" in America and I think it's reflected in our driving style.

There are actually rules about 4 way stop signs that most people stick to. The person arriving first at the intersection goes first. If two people arrive at the same time there are other rules.

We have a bunch of intersections in my town with no signage or just have yield signs. General rule is you stop, and proceed with caution. If both of you arrive at the same time, you wait for the other person to wave you on or you wave them on. Same with pedestrians unless there is a formal crosswalk.

Edited November 1, 2016 by N-o-l-a

[bcking 3,157]

The only thing I'd agree with my relatives on is that our undivided rural highways in which people go straight at each other at 60-65 are kind of scary.

You mean in Europe? That took me awhile to get used to. My wife's mother is from Cornwall so we've been down there a few times. There are roads that would barely pass as a single lane in the US, with giant stone walls on either side, that people will still drive 40 down (Not 60 though thank god). There are small turn offs to pass, but if you had to swerve quickly you'd go into a 400+ year old stone wall that would destroy you/your car. It freaked me out for awhile, but then I just found that all the drivers seem to be much more alert, less distracted, and respond quicker.

In the US I just feel like I never know what other drivers are going to do. They will just go back and forth between lanes, they will slow down without signalling and you will only find out they are turning after they've started to turn (Why do people not understand that a signal is for telling people your intentions, it's not supposed to be used at the same time that you turn). While cell phone driving I'm sure is an issue everywhere, I see it a lot more here. Maybe my wife's family and friends are just all much more responsible people but people just seem to take driving more seriously. Oh and at least in the UK you can actually fail your driving test (and many people do), whereas in the US I don't think I've ever met someone who failed a driving test.

[bcking 3,157]

There are actually rules about 4 way stop signs that most people stick to. The person arriving first at the intersection goes first. If two people arrive at the same time there are other rules.

We have a bunch of intersections in my town with no signage or just have yield signs. General rule is you stop, and proceed with caution. If both of you arrive at the same time, you wait for the other person to wave you on or you wave them on. Same with pedestrians unless there is a formal crosswalk.

Doesn't that just seem like a very "informal" set of rules? Wait until someone waves at you? I know what you mean because where I grew up (and where I live now) there are a ton of roads just like that, but at least for me when I actually stop and think about it it does seem rather crazy. The number of people who "California stop" as we used to say in Oregon is insane. Once I moved out of Oregon I realized it wasn't just Californias. I've driven in Oregon, California, Washington, New York, Jersey, now Texas and people do it in all of those places. I rarely see a true "stop".

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Doesn't that just seem like a very "informal" set of rules? Wait until someone waves at you? I know what you mean because where I grew up (and where I live now) there are a ton of roads just like that, but at least for me when I actually stop and think about it it does seem rather crazy. The number of people who "California stop" as we used to say in Oregon is insane. Once I moved out of Oregon I realized it wasn't just Californias. I've driven in Oregon, California, Washington, New York, Jersey, now Texas and people do it in all of those places. I rarely see a true "stop".

I think the 4 way stop signs should be replaced with lights. It would help a ton. Personally I didn't mind the yield type ones we have in town because if I had to make a full stop every block, I'd probably go nuts.

You mean in Europe? That took me awhile to get used to. My wife's mother is from Cornwall so we've been down there a few times. There are roads that would barely pass as a single lane in the US, with giant stone walls on either side, that people will still drive 40 down (Not 60 though thank god). There are small turn offs to pass, but if you had to swerve quickly you'd go into a 400+ year old stone wall that would destroy you/your car. It freaked me out for awhile, but then I just found that all the drivers seem to be much more alert, less distracted, and respond quicker.

No, I mean the US. At least in the upper Midwest they are quite common and a huge source of fatalities. Last month alone in our tiny town of 1500, my husband got called out to two fatalities on such roads involving two car accidents. I do know the roads you are talking in the UK. Those always freak me out too. I think British people must have better depth perception than me.

[bcking 3,157]

No, I mean the US. At least in the upper Midwest they are quite common and a huge source of fatalities. Last month alone in our tiny town of 1500, my husband got called out to two fatalities on such roads involving two car accidents. I do know the roads you are talking in the UK. Those always freak me out too. I think British people must have better depth perception than me.

I have never done it myself but based on what my wife tells me the driving exam in the UK is a pain, especially compared with the US. When I was a kid I didn't really worry at all about the test, it lasted like 10 minutes and I was given a license. She said most of her friends had to take it twice, sometimes 3 or 4 times. The pass rate is less than 50% on the first try. Maybe that makes a difference? I have no idea. Bad drivers in the US can be of all ages. Most of the time if I end up stopped at a light next to someone who was swerving, or just being an all around poor driver they have their phone in their hand. It's a huge problem here.