Jump to content
Erick and Marj

Travelling Alone

 Share

25 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
Timeline

Each to their own, solo Honeymoon?

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

During the first few months of your marriage?

we lived apart until I got my CR1... Visiting sometimes weekly, longest was 8 or 9 weeks between visits then.

I wouldn't stay at home and wait for my husband for weeks at a time. My husband knows me and I know him. Again, to each their own.

Edited by Lemonslice
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Next thing you know she has a job lined up with her family...

:girlwerewolf2xn: Ana (L) Felix :wub:

K1 March Filer 2016

Interview Approved August 19, 2016

POE September 25, 2016

AOS November Filer 2016

DISCLAIMER: Please excuse my ABC & Gramm@r I am not an editor...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Next thing you know she has a job lined up with her family...

I agree this does sound weird for me as well. My wife did the same thing about having to stay home all day while I was working. She wasn't all about traveling to see distant family, she was more worried about being with me everyday and being there when I got home from work. I understand this is boring for her right now. I got my wife TFC just for this, and she was able to get out and walk around in our city when she couldn't drive. Now she drives almost everywhere since she has her DL.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

Each to their own, solo Honeymoon?

We went on a getaway. Not really feeling like calling it a honeymoon because we want to have a longer trip further away so we are saving up money for that. We did spend 10 days away on a trip together starting the day after the wedding. We have taken multiple other day trips to different local events or attractions as well. Other time was consumed with wedding thank yous, completing the AOS packet, going to Philippines events held locally.

K1 Visa Process: (L) (L) (L) (L) (L)



I-129F Packet Sent: 09/02/2015 (Sent to Dallas, TX Lockbox)


Delivery Confirmation: 09/04/2015


NOA1 Received (Electronic notice): 09/09/2015 (Sent to CSC)


NOA1 Received (Hard Copy): 09/14/15


NOA2 Received: 10/01/2015



NVC Received: Unsure, guessing 10/19/2015 but could have easily been sooner. The NVC does not have that information for me.


NVC Case# Assigned:10/22/2015


NVC Sent to Consulate: 10/26/15



Packet Received: Unsure of date, sometime in November


Medical Exam Dates: 01/25/2016 and 01/26/2016


Interview: 01/28/2016


Visa Status: Approved!!!


Visa Received: 02/08/2016


CFO Seminar: 02/15/2016 (scheduled)


POE: Minneapolis, MN


Arrival at U.S. Immigration: 05/16/2016 (scheduled)



Adjustment of Status Process (L) (L)(L)(L)(L)



I-485, I-765, and I-131 Packets Mailed: 7/23/2016


Delivery Confirmation of all three: 7/29/2016



Adjustment of Status NOA: 8/4/2016


Biometrics Appointment for AOS: 8/26/2016



EAD NOA: 8/4/2016


Biometrics Appointment for EAD: 8/26/2016


EAD Approval Date: 10/12/2016


EAD Mailed Date: 10/27/2016


EAD Received Date: 10/29/2016



AP NOA: 8/4/2016


AP Approval Date: 10/12/2016


AP Mailed Date: 10/27/2016


AP Received Date: 10/29/2016



Link to comment
Share on other sites

GOING OUT ON A LIMB HERE.....I think OP wanted to here he is NOT alone thinking this is a HOT mess!

:girlwerewolf2xn: Ana (L) Felix :wub:

K1 March Filer 2016

Interview Approved August 19, 2016

POE September 25, 2016

AOS November Filer 2016

DISCLAIMER: Please excuse my ABC & Gramm@r I am not an editor...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: Timeline

Everyone has their own situation. I am sorry to hear that you are away from home most of the day. That is a problem in itself for any marriage. My personal opinion is 7 weeks is too long. 2-3 weeks max. There is a ton of things she needs to be doing. English lessons maybe? Job resume and searches? Learn the transportation systems and local places? Does she have a driver's license? You guys can share the domestic duties but being home allows her to do an item or 2 a day just to help out. Do some charity work. Check out the ethnic communities and support groups. However, hanging out with the family is just going to cause you a ton of problems. Does she think family comes first before you? Is her family now your family and you're expected to support her support them? Is age a factor where emotional maturity makes her want to spend more time in the comfort of her own family. Check out the Philippine forum. I bet there a lot of threads with similar themes. A word of warning. 2 items. 1) Don't get trapped into financial supporting her family. 2) Don't let her take a job that belongs to a family member or family friend. You are part of a 2 person relationship. Boundaries and lines sometimes have to be drawn for the heath of the relationship. You are trying to cater to her feelings. What? You don't have feelings in this? If she is not at least considering your feelings than she is being a bit selfish.Yes, she uprooted herself but she should have been prepared knowing the situation. Right now what you describe your life as is an extended vacation for the two of you.

 
 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

Everyone has their own situation. I am sorry to hear that you are away from home most of the day. That is a problem in itself for any marriage. My personal opinion is 7 weeks is too long. 2-3 weeks max. There is a ton of things she needs to be doing. English lessons maybe? Job resume and searches? Learn the transportation systems and local places? Does she have a driver's license? You guys can share the domestic duties but being home allows her to do an item or 2 a day just to help out. Do some charity work. Check out the ethnic communities and support groups. However, hanging out with the family is just going to cause you a ton of problems. Does she think family comes first before you? Is her family now your family and you're expected to support her support them? Is age a factor where emotional maturity makes her want to spend more time in the comfort of her own family. Check out the Philippine forum. I bet there a lot of threads with similar themes. A word of warning. 2 items. 1) Don't get trapped into financial supporting her family. 2) Don't let her take a job that belongs to a family member or family friend. You are part of a 2 person relationship. Boundaries and lines sometimes have to be drawn for the heath of the relationship. You are trying to cater to her feelings. What? You don't have feelings in this? If she is not at least considering your feelings than she is being a bit selfish.Yes, she uprooted herself but she should have been prepared knowing the situation. Right now what you describe your life as is an extended vacation for the two of you.

Thank you for your response. There are some hang ups, and I'll share them for context, but don't want to be ridiculed. Our situation is a bit more complicated. I'm completing my 2nd college degree. This is my final year. As it is right now, I am student teaching to become an elementary school teacher. The college made arrangements for me to teach near my parents' home so that we would be able to live somewhere rent-free and they can provide for her basic needs until I finish in December and am back to work again. By then, she will also be working. I have an apartment in the city where the college is located and we'll be moving in at the end of December. Part of her concerns isn't just lonliness, but also being a distraction to me from what she acknowledges as very important not just to me, but also for both of our future. She is doing her best to not be a distraction to me, which, admittedly, I would agree along with her, can be the case, though I believe, now, after getting into my 3rd week, I can handle the double responsibility of giving her time as well as completing my requirements to successfully pass my professional semester. With that said, I have enough money saved up to pay expenses through December, but not extra for her to do a lot of other things. This also is the reason why I haven't pushed her to a drivers license because then I would have the added expense of high insurance for a new driver in the U.S. Yes, I do have other money set aside. I won't be broke, but that other money is intentionally invested for me to put a down payment on our own house in the future, so I'm not about to resorting to using that money unless it is critical for me to do so. Transportation options are somewhat limited. I have family that all live in walking distance, but let's face it, spending everyday with the in-law's family can get really tough, really fast. She's not really comfortable with going around the house and touching things, even though she has been given full privilege and access to use or do whatever she wants to in the house.

Yes. There are some issues with the living arrangement, and I don't like it just as much as I'm sure plenty of you are cringing while reading this. We both agreed that this would be how we would get by until December and it was this or wait another year before she came to get married. Neither of us wanted to spend another whole year being separated. I thought I could handle 6 weeks or so, but as it turns out, going into week 3, I'm missing her terribly. I'm trying to do the best I can to support her needs to adjust to a new country and culture and that's what has brought me here is to find out if I'm in trouble for giving her that time to go spend with some relatives or if I'm risking our ability to stay together in the U.S. by allowing her to be away for that long of a time. For me, I also feel like 3 weeks should be enough, but I also know that right now, she isn't sitting around with nothing to do because her cousin is teaching her how to cook for me and keeping her distracted from the time where she isn't able to be employed.

I sent her a long message and told her that I understand her needs and respect the fact that she gave up living near her parents and siblings to be with me, but I love her and would very much like for her to come back home next weekend.

Don't worry about the supporting family business. I haven't sent a penny overseas since she arrived and it's not that I'm opposed to helping them out from time to time. I'm fine with that, but I won't be their income and she knows that. Part of the reason was okay with making this decision is because she was the breadwinner for her family and she wanted to encourage her sisters to take some responsibility in providing for their own families so now with her gone, they have no choice but to do that. One sister has gotten a job overseas to send money home to help for her child. (Not the best idea, but it was her choice and I pray all goes well for her.) The other sister is completing college and will be expected to get a job after graduation so she can start to hold her own weight. In the mean time she is getting some support form her relatives here in the U.S. to get her through college.

K1 Visa Process: (L) (L) (L) (L) (L)



I-129F Packet Sent: 09/02/2015 (Sent to Dallas, TX Lockbox)


Delivery Confirmation: 09/04/2015


NOA1 Received (Electronic notice): 09/09/2015 (Sent to CSC)


NOA1 Received (Hard Copy): 09/14/15


NOA2 Received: 10/01/2015



NVC Received: Unsure, guessing 10/19/2015 but could have easily been sooner. The NVC does not have that information for me.


NVC Case# Assigned:10/22/2015


NVC Sent to Consulate: 10/26/15



Packet Received: Unsure of date, sometime in November


Medical Exam Dates: 01/25/2016 and 01/26/2016


Interview: 01/28/2016


Visa Status: Approved!!!


Visa Received: 02/08/2016


CFO Seminar: 02/15/2016 (scheduled)


POE: Minneapolis, MN


Arrival at U.S. Immigration: 05/16/2016 (scheduled)



Adjustment of Status Process (L) (L)(L)(L)(L)



I-485, I-765, and I-131 Packets Mailed: 7/23/2016


Delivery Confirmation of all three: 7/29/2016



Adjustment of Status NOA: 8/4/2016


Biometrics Appointment for AOS: 8/26/2016



EAD NOA: 8/4/2016


Biometrics Appointment for EAD: 8/26/2016


EAD Approval Date: 10/12/2016


EAD Mailed Date: 10/27/2016


EAD Received Date: 10/29/2016



AP NOA: 8/4/2016


AP Approval Date: 10/12/2016


AP Mailed Date: 10/27/2016


AP Received Date: 10/29/2016



Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline

The OP has received suggestions that can be acted on.

Other posters are being overly judgmental toward the OP and his wife, despite his request.

Rather than banning participants from access to this thread, it will be locked to further comment.

VJ Moderation

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 
Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
- Back to Top -

Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×
×
  • Create New...