Travelling Alone

[Erick and Marj 11]

Hello. My wife is from the Philippines. We just got married in the beginning of July. Less than 2 weeks ago, my wife left on a trip to New York and I started student teaching. My schedule is very full so we figured this was a good time for her to go visit her cousin, aunt, and uncle that she hasn't seen since she was a child. She wants to begin working, but until then, she's bored so she's happy to have people she knows around to keep her busy and occupy her time as she waits. Based on the average timelines that I see, it seems that we may not be seeing a work authorization until the beginning of November. She is thinking she would like to stay in New York until the last week of October so that she doesn't have to sit here and be bored. I understand her concerns and want to accommodate her needs as much as possible. I'm concerned about the length of time. Will she be fine to stay away for 7 weeks with us not living together? She left most of her possessions here, taking only what she would need for her temporary visit. We are doing this with all of the best of intentions and I only want to be sure that her needs are met. Should I be concerned about her being gone that long?

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Im sorry but its a marriage you have to take the good with the bad. Honestly she shouldn't want to be away from you that long.

Maybe visit yes but not 7 weeks!

Thats ridiculous on her part

Sorry but if my fiancee did this he can stay in NYC

Edited September 17, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[gregcrs2 1,778]

Sorry, if my spouse did that I would see it as a red flag. You need to spend time together, not apart. 7 weeks is crazy so early in your marriage.

[Erick and Marj 11]

I understand that, however I'm not home, so we can't spend the time together. I leave at 6 am and don't get home some nights until 9 or 10 pm. Which means she is home by herself the entire day. If I wasn't away so long, then she wouldn't take such a long trip. I'm sure a lot of people have their impressions and would like to stereotype my wife as a woman that used me to get into the country and is now looking to run away, but she isn't that type. I'm not looking for judgments on her or my character, but wanting to know if it i a problem for us to stay together her in the U.S. by us being apart for this long?

Edited September 17, 2016 by Erick and Marj

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

She knew this going in.

No one said she used you... you did.

[Erick and Marj 11]

She knew this going in.

No one said she used you... you did.

Fair enough. Greg said if it was his wife, not mine. What is your recommendation for what I should do with her upon bring her promptly back to be with me? What should she do with her time while she waits another month and a half to get her authorization to work? I can't take her with me to work. I have to leave her home alone until I get back.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

I d k what you should do quite frankly she knew your job habbits you shouldnt be put in this position.

If she went for a few weeks came back.

Shes your wife she should want to be home waiting for you potencially with a warm meal i mean

I dont wanna be judgemental but what is she thinking here? I feel bad your in this situation.

If its me i would be hurt. I did all i can to bring someone and they leave.

There has to be a balance get her a pet idk but her being gone 7 weeks should not be the answer.

No WAY!

My fiancee has worked all his life he knows at least three months if nOt more hes sitting at home i work 8 to 430 i leave at 730 return at 5 he can relax take it is a much needed vacation.

Possibly tidy up around the house. Every once in a while save me dinner would help out tremendously. Do errands i cant while im at work.

Its only a few months.

IDK maybe im exaggerating here...

Edited September 17, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[p-ana 933]

You won't have any problems if she goes away for 7 whole weeks.

My opinion is that I wouldn't want to be apart from my husband for that long of a time because I made the choice to though. I'd enjoy whatever little time we have together.

Everyone has their own thing going on and it's unrealistic to think that couples can devote themselves to each other 100% of the time. People have to work, run errands, family and friends. It's important that the two of you have your own lives and be independent while sharing your lives and being a married couple.

Your wife can do so much even without an ead. This is the time for her to get acquainted with the area you're living at, to plan everything she has to do and accomplish for the next few months, etc.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Join a gym or do volunteer work.

[gregcrs2 1,778]

Is public transportation available near your home?

If yes, then there's lots of opportunities for her to adventure around your area.

Get her a driver's manual to start studying so she can get a driver's license.

There's household things she should be doing as a wife and as a non-working spouse.

[gregcrs2 1,778]

Immigration-wise, it's not an issue of her being away for that period of time. I know how boring it could be at home alone but you are not working 7 days a week.

How long was the original trip duration planned? I could see maybe 2 weeks, perhaps 3 weeks maximum, but 7 weeks would be ridiculous for me. ridiculous.

[Lemonslice 4,838]

My husband and myself travel a lot separately, for work and then for other personal trips. Longest I was gone was close to 4 months. We're communicating as often as possible when separated. It works for us, happily traveling together just now! Up to you two to see what works for you and your marriage.

[gregcrs2 1,778]

My husband and myself travel a lot separately, for work and then for other personal trips. Longest I was gone was close to 4 months. We're communicating as often as possible when separated. It works for us, happily traveling together just now! Up to you two to see what works for you and your marriage.

During the first few months of your marriage?

[Erick and Marj 11]

I sent her a message. She is out having dinner with her family right now. I would personally prefer that she comes home. Yeah. I sympathize with her. I didn't bring her here to be my in-house maid. I don't expect her to clean the house and cook by herself. I'd prefer we do those things together. I just don't want her to get into a depression out of lonliness from being home by herself all day while I am gone. Once she can start working, then she will be busy for 6-8 hours of the day that I am gone and that will make her time pass much more quickly, however it is until that work authorization comes that she feels like she's sitting on her hands with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

During the first few months of your marriage?

We spent the first 2 months together, travelling, going to events and meeting friends and family.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

My husband and myself travel a lot separately, for work and then for other personal trips. Longest I was gone was close to 4 months. We're communicating as often as possible when separated. It works for us, happily traveling together just now! Up to you two to see what works for you and your marriage.

This is NOT for work reasons and its being imposed on OP....one thing is to have an agreement you will work and travel and take trips away but not newly married just take off because we are bored.